Whispers of the Heart by Rose Pearson
Chapter Ten
Ann started violently, her hand jerking as the sound of Lord Ware’s voice was heard in the hallway. Water spilled over her hand, and she flushed with embarrassment, quickly trying to mop some of it up with her napkin. Footmen came to hand almost immediately to aid her, and Ann sat back in her chair, praying that they would have cleaned up her mess by the time Lord Ware arrived.
“My son has arrived, it seems.” Lady Ware shot Ann a quick look, a wry smile on her lips. “Let us pray he is not as… vehement as he was when we last heard him!”
Ann tried to return the smile but found that she could not. What she had overheard had confused her greatly, for she had never expected Lord Ware to behave in such an uncouth and, quite frankly, intimidating manner! To hear him shouting in such a way had frightened her and had it not been for the calming presence of Lady Ware and Lord Hyndford, Ann did not know what she would have done. Lady Ware had been tight-lipped but had said one or two mirthful remarks, which had removed some of the shock from what they had all heard. Lord Hyndford too had said something easy, and Ann had found herself smiling despite herself. She had no doubt that Lady Ware had spoken to her son at length about what they had overheard, but whether or not it had made any difference, Ann did not know. Quite what Lord Ware would have been shouting about in such an overwrought manner, she could not imagine! She could not even picture him in such a state of mind for, whilst she had not always thought well of Lord Ware, she had always considered him a mild-mannered gentleman who would not be pushed into such extremes.
It had confused her feelings all the more to the point that she was now rather nervous about being in his company again.
The door opened and Ann drew in a breath, lifting her chin and steeling herself inwardly so that she might not display a single modicum of what she truly felt.
“Lord Ware.”
His mother rose and Ann did also, only for the gentleman to wave a hand and beg of them both to return to their seats at the dinner table.
“Good evening, Mother, Miss Whyte.” His eyes darted to hers but were gone again in an instant. “You are soon to make your way to Lord Peters’, I believe?”
Ann did not say a word but allowed Lady Ware to answer her son.
“To his card party, yes,” she stated, crisply, her tone making it quite clear that she thought very little of her son at present. “You are not joining us?”
Lord Ware’s eyes once more returned to Ann’s and this time, he held her gaze. There was a sharpness in his eyes which Ann did not understand, a smile on his lips that Ann was sure was entirely false. Her heart began to hammer painfully in her chest. Just what was it that he wanted from her? Did he want her only to respond? To smile back at him? To nod and state that yes, she would be pleased if he would join them both?
“Ware.” Lady Ware’s tone was hard now, evidently irritated that her son had not yet answered her. “Are you intending to join us?
Lord Ware cleared his throat, pulling his gaze away from Ann.
“I think I shall, yes,” he replied, shrugging with a nonchalance that Ann was certain he feigned. “Lord Hyndford is to be present, I suppose?”
This was said with yet another glance sent towards Ann, his one eyebrow raised. She flushed, looking away from him and not at all certain what he meant by such a remark.
“Lord Hyndford is not, no,” Lady Ware replied, her eyes now a little narrowed. “Lord Silverton is to join us there, however. He made it quite plain when he called upon Ann this afternoon that he wanted to be in her company again this evening.” She cast a warm smile towards Ann, who could barely return it. “I am certain that Miss Whyte will make an excellent match, given that more than one gentleman is pursuing her at present!”
But not the gentleman I wish were doing so.
The thought was startling and, as though he knew what she had thought, Lord Ware turned to Ann with a sharpness in his eyes that she could not mistake. She tried to smile, tried to wave such a remark away, but found herself both awkward and confused in her manner. She wanted to tell him that she found neither gentleman particularly intriguing nor was she eager for either of them to court her or propose, but found that there was nothing on her lips. She was drawn to Lord Ware, she had to admit, but hearing him shout in such a disrespectful manner had been quite confusing and at odds with the gentleman she thought she knew.
“Is that so?” Lord Ware murmured, his brow furrowed. “Well, Miss Whyte, if you choose to make a particular match with either gentleman, I hope that –”
“I have no intentions in that regard at present, Lord Ware.” Her voice was a little higher than usual and her words hurried as though she could not wait another moment to speak them, but Ann was determined that he should not think her eager or hasty when it came to either Lord Silverton or Lord Hyndford. “Unless it is that you have a new desire to be without my company in your home for the remainder of the Season?”
Her heart trembled within her as Lord Ware’s eyes flared, wondering for a moment if she had hit upon the truth – but in the next moment, he had immediately thrust that idea away.
“Not in the least, Miss Whyte,” he stated, firmly. “Indeed, I should be very glad indeed to have you here again in the little Season and the following spring, should you wish it. As I have said before, there is no urgency, and you should not feel any from either myself or my mother.” He cast a considerate glance towards his mother who, after a moment, quickly began to nod and agree also.
Ann nodded in relief.
“I should also apologize for the disagreement you overheard recently, Miss Whyte,” Lord Ware continued, tilting his head. “It is only that -”
“There is no time for such things now!” Lady Ware exclaimed, interrupting her son. “We are to eat and then prepare for the card party and if you begin a great long speech containing both an apology and an explanation, then I fear that we will never make it to Lord Peters’ home!” She threw up her hands. “Might you choose another, less inconvenient time to speak?”
Lord Ware hesitated, shrugged, and then sighed.
“Very well,” he muttered, his eyes turning towards Ann, who found herself blushing at the long look he sent her way. “Another time, then.”
“Another time,” Lady Ware confirmed, sounding quite satisfied. “Then all will be well. Shall we, Ann?”
She gestured to the footmen who then quickly brought out another dish for them, but Ann was paying no attention to the food. Instead, her gaze was settled still on Lord Ware, seeing the frown on his face and the seriousness in his eyes. What was it he had wanted to say? To be honest, Ann would have preferred to wait for Lord Ware to speak to them both and express whatever was on his mind rather than postponing it to another time, but it seemed that she was to have no choice in the matter. Sighing, she picked up her cutlery and turned her attention to her dinner plate. The conversation with Lord Ware would have to wait.
* * *
“I believe you have won!”
Ann flushed with delight as Lord Silverton congratulated her, making the rest of the table join in as well. She had not won a game thus far and the sense of achievement which now wrapped around her was very pleasing indeed.
“Thank you for your help, Lord Silverton.” She leaned across towards him and spoke in a slightly lower tone. “I do not think I would have been able to achieve such a thing, had you not aided me.”
“Not at all,” he replied, setting one hand on her arm for just a few moments. “You have a sharp mind, Miss Whyte, and clearly were able to understand all that was at play. This victory is yours!”
Ann smiled at him but noted quietly to herself that she felt no delight or warmth at his touch. Rather, she felt nothing at all. Yes, she was grateful to him for his assistance and guidance when she had first started playing, but there was nothing of excitement or anticipation or even an eagerness to draw closer to him than ever before. Her eyes strayed towards Lord Ware, who had been standing nearby ever since the game began. In truth, she had noticed him remaining close to her ever since they had arrived and, as yet, had been unable to make sense of it.
“Congratulations, Miss Whyte,” Lord Ware murmured, his eyes warm as she smiled up at him. “You have done well.”
“And now for some refreshment, I think,” Lord Silverton said eagerly, as he rose from the table. “Miss Whyte, should you like to take a turn about the room with me?”
Knowing that she owed him a little more of her company, given the way that he had sat with her and taught her how to play during the evening thus far, Ann quickly gave her consent and, turning her eyes away from Lord Ware, rose to stand with Lord Silverton.
“But of course,” she said, softly. He offered his arm and Ann slipped her hand through it, although she could not help but glance back at Lord Ware, seeing the frown which now settled across his face. Her heart twisted. Had he come to dislike Lord Silverton for some reason? Or could it be that he did not like to see her receiving the attentions of another gentleman?
“Lord Ware has been barely gone from your side this evening, Miss Whyte.”
At the mention of Lord Ware, Ann twisted her head away from Lord Ware and back towards Lord Silverton.
“Yes, indeed,” she replied, not quite certain how she was to answer such a thing. “I – I overheard a deep argument between him and another gentleman, and I fear that he now believes I think very poorly of him.” She did not know why she said such a thing to Lord Silverton, but the words came from her regardless, as though she wanted to make some sort of explanation for Lord Ware practically shadowing her every move. “Mayhap he is attempting to prove that he is as excellent a gentleman as my brother believes him to be.”
Lord Silverton shook his head.
“That is foolish,” he said, firmly. “I am certain that any argument you overheard was for good reason. Lord Ware is not the sort of gentleman who does or says anything without due consideration.”
“That is true, I suppose,” Ann replied, not wanting to discuss the matter any further. “Now, I –”
“Lord Ware is, however, a gentleman who keeps his true thoughts and considerations very well hidden,” Lord Silverton continued, before she could say anything more. “I do think you should be cautious when it comes to your acquaintance with him, Miss Whyte.”
A stone dropped into Ann’s stomach.
“What do you mean?”
Lord Silverton hesitated, looking at her sidelong.
“I do not want to speak badly of Lord Ware, for he is my friend and has been for a long time,” he replied, slowly. “But I have heard him speak recently of….” He trailed off, frowning hard as his eyes turned away from Ann’s, as though he were struggling to find the right words to say. Ann did not interrupt him, waiting for him to speak and finding herself so tense and anxious that it took all of her strength to simply stand silently. “He may have fought for the King, but I believe that he is no longer as persuaded that the war is the right course of action,” Lord Silverton said, slowly. “Lord Hyndford and I have –” He stopped dead, clearing his throat abruptly and then coughing in a manner which had Ann a trifle concerned. It was not until some moments later that Lord Silverton had finally caught his breath, allowing them both to continue the conversation.
“You are attempting to tell me that Lord Ware no longer believes that the war is justified?” Ann asked, her heart seeming to send pain through her limbs with every beat it took. “Lord Silverton, I must know.” She turned and looked up at Lord Silverton, seeing the sorrowful expression on his face and finding herself deeply distraught when he nodded. She did not know what to think, horrified to believe that Lord Ware might now be a gentleman who was sympathetic to the enemy. “It – it cannot be true.”
“As I have said, it is only a consideration given the number of conversations I have had with him of late,” Lord Silverton said, warningly. “But I think you ought to be careful as regards your connection with Lord Ware. It may prove to be a dangerous one.”
He said nothing more, but turned his head away, greeting another gentleman and drawing their conversation to an end. Ann had to force herself to smile whilst, inwardly, she was cold with shock. After all, Lord Silverton was a very good friend of Lord Ware and, surely, he would know if there was truly anything of concern in his character.
But this?
Her heart quailed as she let the conversation around her fade away. To think that Lord Ware might not be committed to the war effort any longer, that he might, in fact, be hoping that the enemy would be able to succeed simply so that the war would be brought to an end, was horrific indeed. Closing her eyes momentarily, Ann drew in a deep breath and tried to steady herself. Lord Silverton had not stated that it was so, merely that he feared it might be the case. Perhaps Lord Ware was merely fatigued, tired of all that he had witnessed during his time facing the enemy. Mayhap he was anxious for his friends, for those who had fought alongside him, for people like her brother who might never return home.
“Miss Whyte?”
Her name came to her quietly, as though she were very far away from the speaker and had to struggle to hear him. Turning her head, she saw none other than the very gentleman she was thinking of looking down at her, his eyes bright and fixed to her own.
Her stomach lurched.
“Are you quite all right?” Lord Ware asked, as Lord Silverton barely gave him more than a glance before continuing his conversation with the other gentlemen. “I observed that you have become a little pale, Miss Whyte.”
He has been watching me.
“I – I am quite well, I assure you,” she stated, finding herself less than eager to be in his company. Her thoughts were so conflicted, and her feelings were in turmoil. The fact that he had been so close to her all evening left her in even more confusion. Was he doing so for fear that Lord Silverton might say something about his current state of mind? “Do excuse me, Lord Ware.”
Ann did not know where she was going, merely that she had to be apart from Lord Ware at the present moment. Turning on her heel, she stepped away from them both – from Lord Silverton and from Lord Ware – and made her way to the opposite side of the room. Her head was beginning to pain her, as though the news that Lord Silverton had imparted was causing her injury. Closing her eyes, Ann drew in a deep and steadying breath.
Just what was she to do?
* * *
Glad that shehad remembered her slippers, Ann made her way carefully to the rooms below. The servants were all abed by now and she had not wanted to disturb any of them. A cup of warm milk would be all she required to send her to sleep, she was certain of it.
A little nervous, she walked into the kitchen, her candle held aloft, but there was no one there. She had no certainty as to where the milk and the like were kept but Ann was certain that she would be able to find it. There would be no difficulty in heating it, for the kitchens were still warm and the fires could easily be encouraged into life again without too much difficulty. It was not the first time Ann had made her own cup of warm milk, for she had done so at her brother’s home without any particular difficulty, many times. Once it was done and drunk, Ann hoped that she would be able to return to her bed and fall asleep without any further difficulty.
Her brow furrowed as she made her way to the cold pantry in search of the milk. She soon found the jug sitting in a bowl of cold water and, having taken a quick taste to make certain it had not gone sour, took it back to the kitchens. It was not long before she had the cup of warm milk sitting on the roughhewn kitchen table. Having cleared up, Ann sat down at the table with a contented sigh. This was the first moment since she had been in Lord Silverton’s company that evening that she had truly felt a little peace. Yes, there was a lot for her to think on and certainly, there was even more for her to consider as regarded her feelings but, for the present, Ann intended to sit quietly, drink her milk, and then retire to bed.
A sudden creak had her starting in alarm, her cup set down quickly as she turned her head – only to see Lord Ware standing in the kitchen doorway.
Her breath caught.
He was without his jacket or his cravat, his shirt gaping at the top and his sleeves rolled up around his forearms. One hand held a candlestick with three candles, illuminating his astonished expression. Ann found herself unable to remove her eyes from him, aware of the heat which was now searing her cheeks and the slight trembling in her hands. She was in her night rail and her wrap which, whilst very modest and quite proper, still left her feeling scandalously underdressed in his presence.
“Miss… Miss Whyte,” Lord Ware said, clearing his throat gruffly. “Do excuse me. I did not know that you were present.” He glanced away from her. “It is very late.”
“I – I could not sleep,” Ann replied, hoarsely. “Forgive me, Lord Ware. I will take my leave.”
She made to rise, only for him to step into the room a little more, gesturing for her to remain seated.
“Pray, do not leave on my account,” he replied, swiftly, his eyes still fixed to hers. “Miss Whyte, I could not sleep either, and came in search of a cool glass of water in the hope that it would help but…” He drew nearer, one hand reaching out towards her. “Miss Whyte – Ann, I believe that speaking with you is the only way that I will be able to get any rest.”
Ann swallowed hard, her breathing quick and fast as a sense of anticipation stole over her.
“There is something the matter,” he said, still standing close to her. “I could tell by the way that you looked at me this evening.” Closing his eyes, he shook his head. “Of course, it could be that you have not yet heard me apologize for the argument that you overheard with Lord Stratham.” A look of despair came into his eyes. “Miss Whyte, it is not as it seemed. I am not that sort of gentleman, I swear to you! The argument you overheard was necessary.”
Ann blinked rapidly.
“Necessary?” she repeated, not at all understanding what he meant. “Lord Ware, there is no need for an explanation.”
“But there is.” There was a desperation in his voice which Ann had never expected to hear. She was all the more astonished when he stepped closer, bent down, and grasped her hand in his. His face was only inches from hers and she could see the way that his green eyes held dark shadows. Her whole body trembled for a moment as she felt the strength in his grasp. Whatever he wanted to say to her, it was clearly of the utmost importance. “Miss Whyte, I have not yet apologized for what you heard the afternoon that Lord Stratham and I argued,” he said, fervently. “But allow me to do so now. I am quite certain that your opinion of me has changed, for I have seen the way that you have looked at me ever since that afternoon and, Miss Whyte, I cannot bear it!”
“Lord Ware.” Ann tried to speak with confidence but found her voice still uneven, almost hoarse. “Lord Ware, your private matters are entirely your own affair, and it surely should not matter –”
“It does matter.” Lord Ware’s hand lifted as though he intended to touch her cheek, but he stopped after a moment and pulled it back. “Miss Whyte, should I be able to tell you the truth of the matter, I would do so without hesitation, but I fear I cannot.”
Recalling what Lord Silverton had said, Ann drew in a deep breath and decided to be courageous. After all, if she did not ask him outright, then all that would occur would that she would return to bed and lie there unable to sleep, wondering whether or not Lord Ware was as Lord Silverton had said. Looking at Lord Ware full in the face, she took in another breath and then began to speak.
“Pray do not be angry with me for asking so, Lord Ware, but was your argument with Lord Stratham to do with the war?”
She saw his expression change in a moment. His eyes flared and he stepped back, rising so that his hand left hers.
“Whatever makes you say that?”
“Was it?” she asked again, now also getting to her feet so that she could look at him more easily. “Lord Ware, you are correct when you state that there was something amiss this evening. It was not solely about the argument that I heard but it was also because something was said of you which has concerned me greatly.”
Lord Ware’s brows drew low and his eyes hooded.
“Indeed,” he said, a little coldly. “And might I ask what was said?” His lips flattened. “Is it something about my lack of decorum? Have the ladies of the ton now considered me to be severely lacking in manners and propriety given my previous failures?”
Ann shook her head, feeling herself grow even more tense.
“No, Lord Ware,” she said, softly. “It was regarding the war and your view of it at present.”
The gasp that came from Lord Ware’s lips was not entirely unexpected but the horror that was then written into his expression was instantaneous. He did not answer her immediately but stood there in shock for some moments, evidently overcome by what she had said.
“It is not true,” he whispered, eventually. “Whatever you have heard, Miss Whyte, it is not true.”
“Lord Silverton did not say for certain that it was so,” Ann replied quickly, a little afraid that she had spoken out of turn. “Only that he feared it was so.”
Without hesitating, Lord Ware stepped forward and grasped her upper arms, his head lowering so he could look full into her face.
“Lord Silverton?” he repeated, his voice harsh again. “You say that Lord Silverton was the one to suggest this?”
Not being able to gauge all that Lord Ware was feeling, Ann took a small step backward, her hands lifting in a blameless gesture as Lord Ware dropped his.
“I do not mean to upset you or to break the friendship between you and Silverton, Lord Ware,” she said, hastily. “Mayhap I ought not to have said anything. I only wanted to know –”
“I have never felt anything but loyalty to the Crown.” Lord Ware came close to her again, his face lit up by the candles which now burned on the table. “Miss Whyte – Ann – you cannot think otherwise. Lord Silverton knows that I meant nothing by that argument. It was for Lord Hyndford’s sake, that is all.”
Ann blinked in astonishment, looking up at Lord Ware with wide eyes.
“Lord Hyndford?” she repeated, breathlessly. “What do you mean, Lord Ware? What has Lord Hyndford to do with this?” She could not help but move closer, one hand on his forearm. “Is that why Lord Silverton mentioned him? Is there some secret that all of you know about and that I am not involved in at all?”
A wave of embarrassment washed over her and she closed her eyes, feeling utterly mortified. Mayhap this had all been a mistake, for it seemed as though Lord Ware had good reason to do as he had done. Had she been prying into affairs that were not her own?