Whispers of the Heart by Rose Pearson

Chapter Two

Ann had never been particularly inclined to gaze at herself in the looking glass but, as she now looked at her reflection, she thought herself very ill-looking indeed. She appeared almost wraith-like, with her pale skin, sunken cheeks, and grey eyes which held no trace of brightness. Her lips turned downwards and even when she feigned a smile, it did not seem to lift her features in the way that she had hoped. Pulling the pins from her hair, she waited for it to cascade down her back and over her shoulders, only to see it lying limp and forlorn as though it too felt the same weariness which prevailed upon the rest of her.

Her shoulders slumped and she turned away from the looking glass, feeling very despondent indeed. She had told herself that, in being present with Lord Ware and his mother, she would find a certain sense of happiness and even of relief, but instead, she was filled with the very same sorrow and anxiety which had been a part of her ever since her brother’s letter. Were she to be honest, Ann would state quite openly that she did not wish to be here. Whilst it was kindness itself for Lord Ware to open his home to her in such a manner, and for Lady Ware to be her chaperone throughout the Season, Ann felt no joy in being in London. The torture which had filled her soul as the carriage had rolled away from her brother’s estate had not lessened the closer she had come to London. In fact, it had intensified to the point that Ann had found herself blinking away tears as she had been brought into the townhouse. She was grateful at least that Lady Ware had seen the fatigue which Ann wore like a cloak and had quietly offered her the chance to rest. Ann did not think that she would have succeeded in maintaining her composure otherwise, and she certainly did not want to embarrass herself by bursting into tears in front of Lord Ware!

Ann’s lips twisted. Rising to her feet, she made her way to the large four-poster bed in the center of the room and sat down upon it, feeling the softness beneath her. The maid had already been to help Ann change out of her traveling clothes and Ann had no hesitation in pulling back the covers and lying down. Her head sank into the soft pillow, and she closed her eyes as a long sigh emitted from her lips. Perhaps she would feel better after she had rested, for sleep always brought with it a relief from one’s troubles.

Lord Ware is a handsome gentleman, is he not?

The quiet voice in her heart had her eyes flying open as she stared blankly ahead, her heart beating a little more quickly. She had not wanted to admit such a thing to herself, but it appeared that her heart was determined for her to take note of it regardless. Pressing her lips together, Ann let out a small groan of frustration before turning over and closing her eyes tightly again. Yes, she admitted to herself, Lord Ware was a handsome gentleman, but he had been very reserved in his manner and had not smiled at her once. She believed that he had tried to do so on one occasion, but it had appeared that he had not managed, for there had been nothing but a slightly frustrated expression on his face. It appeared that Lord Ware was not as delighted as his mother at her presence in his home and, despite what her brother had written to her, Ann was quite certain that Lord Ware was not eager for her company.

Her eyes still tightly closed, Ann let out another long breath, trying to relax and forget about the Earl of Ware, so that sleep might take her. Yet, try as she might, the memory of how he had appeared when she had first entered the house remained with her.

He had been a tall, somewhat imposing figure, with broad shoulders and a lift to his chin that spoke of confidence and determination. Sharp green eyes had lingered on her, narrowing just a little as though he were attempting to make her out. With a firm jaw, soft brown hair firmly in place, and very precise features, Lord Ware appeared to be a very orderly man. There had been not even a hint of friendliness nor pleasure in his long, thin lips and there had been a bit of superciliousness in his gaze. Even now, Ann felt the sting of being unnoticed by him. Lady Ware had been speaking to her and had remarked that Lord Ware had arranged for refreshments and the like for Ann, only to look at her son and see him standing silently without any seeming awareness of what they were speaking of. It had only been when Lady Ware had spoken more directly and with a very pointed look that Lord Ware had finally realized what was being asked of him and responded. Ann had felt such an overwhelming sense of mortification that it had taken all of her fortitude to speak to him directly, having intended to speak openly to him of her gratitude and appreciation – even if she did not truly feel such things. Lord Ware had appeared a little embarrassed himself at least, perhaps aware that he had behaved poorly in giving her so little attention, and he had listened with great care to her thereafter. Ann could only pray that Lord Ware would show her even a trifle more attention in the days to come. That way, at least, she might not feel as she did now for too much longer.

Another sigh shook her frame and this time, Ann let the tears come. They ran down her cheeks and soaked into her pillow as she cried softly. She cried for the home she had left behind, for the brother still gone from England’s shores. She cried over the uncertainty and fear in her heart, for her desire to return home rather than remain here. But most of all, she cried from a great sense of loneliness, of being entirely by herself without having another single living soul aware of the true thoughts and wishes which were held within her heart. She had to pretend, to play a false Ann who was greatly delighted at being present here in London, and was looking forward to making a match. She had no-one to confide in, no-one to listen to her and to take away some of her pain. Her heart ached terribly, and the tears continued to fall as Ann curled up into a ball and pulled the covers a little more tightly over herself. Sleep came in time and, as the tears dried on her cheeks, Ann fell into a deep slumber.

* * *

“Good morning, Miss Whyte!”

Ann had never felt so ashamed. She had awoken in a confusion, sitting up sharply in her bed without having any real awareness of where she was. It had only been when the maid had entered to light the fire that Ann had recalled her new situation. This had then been followed by the realization that she was still wearing what she had been in the previous afternoon, having come to bed to rest. Having asked the maid what time it was and whether or not she ought now to prepare for dinner, Ann had been horrified to discover that it was now the following day and that the fire the maid was lighting was simply to chase away the early morning chill.

“Lady Ware.” Ann dropped her head, keeping her hands clasped in front of her as she walked into the breakfast room. “I can only apologize, I must –”

Lady Ware shook her head and rose from her chair, coming towards Ann and holding out one hand to her.

“My dear Miss Whyte, you must not apologize,” she said, firmly. “You were quite exhausted, it seems!”

“I was,” Ann replied, as Lady Ware pressed her hand comfortingly. “But I ought not to have slept through dinner. Had I awoken, I would have joined you at once, but it seems that I –”

Again, Lady Ware interrupted her.

“Miss Whyte, you must not concern yourself,” she stated firmly, and began to draw Ann towards the table. “You must have been greatly fatigued and, whilst I will admit that I sent a maid to your room in order to make certain that you were quite well, I then informed her to leave you to rest.” She gestured for Ann to sit down, just as a footman drew near so that he might assist her with her chair. “Please, Miss Whyte, you are not even to think of apologizing any longer. You were utterly exhausted and both myself and my son were very glad indeed that you chose to rest.”

Given this great – almost frantic – level of reassurance, Ann had no other choice but to quietly thank the lady and then turn her attention to breaking her fast. She was rather relieved that the lady had not required a grand and overlong apology, for whilst Ann had been eager to apologize should she be required to do so, she had been a little afraid of what Lady Ware’s reaction might be. The lady, however, was nothing but graciousness and appeared even a little anxious about Ann herself, clearly wanting her to feel at ease. Her eyes continued to search Ann’s face as Ann reached to pour herself a cup of tea, whilst the footman stood ready to bring her whatever food she requested from the trays of dishes just behind her.

“You must be very hungry indeed, so pray do not feel as though you must stand on ceremony!” Lady Ware exclaimed, flapping one hand in the direction of the food. “You must request whatever you please and eat as much as you want.” Her eyes brightened and her smile spread across her face. “Indeed, I will admit that I am always practically ravenous come the morning and, had I not already broken my fast, I would have joined you without question!”

This was said to reassure Ann and, given the lady’s obvious desire for her to feel quite at ease and to break her fast without hesitation, Ann could not help but smile. She felt some of the weight that had been settled on her heart beginning to fade away as she asked the footman for some hot buttered toast.

“I did wonder, Miss Whyte, whether or not you would feel strong enough to take a short stroll through London this afternoon?” Lady Ware asked, as Ann added a little milk to her tea. “We could take the carriage a short distance and then step out for just as long as you felt able?”

“I should like that.” Ann saw the lady smile in relief and felt her spirits lift a little more. There was a great kindness which seemed to emanate from Lady Ware and Ann could not help but feel a little better given such compassion and sympathy. “London must be very busy at this time of year.”

A spark flashed in Lady Ware’s eyes.

“Yes, it can be!” she exclaimed, although this did not seem to dampen her in any way but rather to encourage her all the more. “There are a great many gentlemen and ladies in London at the present time. You will be one of many making their come out, Miss Whyte, but I am certain that you will make an excellent impression.”

“If I am truthful, Lady Ware, I would tell you that I am very nervous indeed about having to step out into society,” Ann replied, finding herself speaking without reserve. Having had no intention of doing such a thing, she began to stammer, her cheeks flushing. “That is to say, I – I do not mean to state that I am ungrateful for this opportunity to be in London, Lady Ware, it is – it is only that –”

Lady Ware laughed and held up one hand, palm outwards so as to quieten Ann’s frantic monologue.

“It is perfectly natural to feel such a way, Miss Whyte,” she said, smiling. “I myself felt much nervousness when I first came to London and, indeed, I am certain that unless one has a little too much confidence, it is almost proper for one to feel so.” Her head tilted just a little. “Would you mind, Miss Whyte, if I referred to you as ‘Ann’?” She lifted one shoulder. “You need not agree if you do not wish it, but given that we are to be in one another’s company so much of the time, I had wondered if you would feel more comfortable if I were to address you so.”

Ann swallowed hard but nodded, finding it impossible to do otherwise. It was not as though she could refuse such a request, but it did feel a little discomfiting. But, she considered, as Lady Ware expressed her thanks and her pleasure, there was to be a closeness between herself and Lady Ware and it would be wise to permit the lady to address her so.

What if Lord Ware wishes to do the same?

A flush of heat spiraled up into Ann’s cheeks at the thought, but she pushed it away hastily. There was no possible chance that the Earl would wish to speak to her in such a manner, for it would be very improper indeed for a gentleman to call her by her Christian name, even if she was residing in his house. Besides which, given how he had behaved last evening, Ann was quite certain that he would not wish to call her anything but ‘Miss Whyte’ and as infrequently as he could, given that she was sure he did not wish to be often in her company.

“My son will accompany us to the first ball, of course,” Lady Ware continued, as Ann flushed even more as she turned her attention back to the lady, realizing that she had missed almost everything which had been said. “And, of course, he will make certain to dance with you for the first dance of the evening.” She smiled warmly at Ann who, upon hearing this, felt a huge swirl of tension begin to form the pit of her stomach. “I am sure you will do very well. You have been trained in all of the usual dances?”

Ann opened her mouth to answer but found her tongue sticking to the roof of her mouth, her whole body beginning to tingle with a nervous fright which simply would not release her. The thought of dancing in front of the ton was one thing, but to do so with the Earl of Ware was quite another.

“Of course you have been, that is a very foolish question for me to ask,” Lady Ware said briskly, after a few moments of silence. “Forgive me, Ann.” She laughed suddenly as Ann reached for her teacup, wondering if a quick sip would help loosen her tongue. “My son is an excellent dancer but there have been occasions when he has allowed himself to become distracted and has very nearly trodden on the toes of whichever young lady he is dancing with!”

“That was only on one particular occasion, mother, and is not likely to be repeated.”

Ann almost choked on her tea but managed to swallow it quickly, setting down her teacup before having to pull out her hankerchief to cough into it in the most embarrassing manner. She had not expected Lord Ware to walk into the room and having not seen him enter, his deep but rather loud voice had caught her quite by surprise.

“I see that you have managed to join us this morning, Miss Whyte,” the Earl continued, as Ann quickly folded up her kerchief and lifted her gaze to where he stood, seeing the way that his eyes brushed down over her as though inspecting whether or not the horse he had purchased was of decent quality. “You required a little more rest last evening, it seemed.” There was no sympathy in his voice, no softening in his expression as he spoke and Ann felt heat begin to spread up through her cheeks as she nodded, not quite certain what else to say. Lord Ware was not speaking to her in a kind manner, as his mother had done, and Ann could not tell whether or not he had been offended by her absence last evening. “You are rested now, however.” This was followed by a slight sniff which Ann took to be one of disdain, as though he thought her quite poorly for requiring such a thing as rest.

“I – I am, Lord Ware,” Ann replied, hating that her voice was so thin and her response so weak. “I thank you.”

“Do not even consider chiding her for her absence,” Lady Ware interrupted, frowning hard at her son. “Need I remind you how many times you have missed dining with me, due to one thing or another?”

This, Ann noted, seemed to disconcert Lord Ware somewhat, for he shrugged, cleared his throat, and then meandered to the sideboard where the food was laid out, picking up a plate and adding one or two things to it. Silence fell as he did so, with Lady Ware keeping her sharp gaze pinned to her son, as though she expected him to say something more, something which she might then have to refute. Ann said nothing, aware of the great cloud of tension which had come over her, now that she was once more in Lord Ware’s presence. The thought of having to dance with him seemed all the more disagreeable and silently, Ann prayed that she would not have to do so. Perhaps another gentleman could be found to take his place, someone who would be glad to stand up with her. It seemed that Lord Ware found her presence somewhat irritating, and Ann found herself less inclined to be in his company with every passing moment.

Lord Ware took a seat at the table, and for a short while, there was silence as he ate. Then he looked up at his mother, and spoke.

“Might I hope that you have the intention of removing yourself from the house today, Mother?”

Ann’s stomach clenched tightly as she looked from mother to son and back again, a little astonished at Lord Ware’s tone. To her, such a statement appeared to be very rude indeed and, were she Lady Ware, Ann suspected that she would have been deeply offended. Lady Ware, however, merely sighed heavily and shook her head, before arching one eyebrow in her son’s direction.

“Are you so inclined to remove me from this house that you would practically insist upon it?” she asked, as a small smile pulled at Lord Ware’s lips. “You wish for a little quiet, a little time to wander through the house without any female company, is that not so?”

Lord Ware laughed and shrugged, although Ann found nothing to smile at.

“That may be so, mother, but you can hardly blame me for it,” he replied, sending another glance towards Ann. “After all, given that I am now outnumbered within my own home, you cannot expect me to remain as contented as before!”

Ann stiffened as Lord Ware caught her eye. Was he attempting to tell her that her presence in his home was causing him some difficulty? And that he did not particularly enjoy having her here? Her chin lifted despite her intent to remain meek and quiet. She was not about to allow Lord Ware to treat her in any sort of disparaging manner. He had stated to her brother that she was welcome here, that he intended to support her during the Season and, therefore, that was what she expected him to do. There was no need for him to complain or to state that he was discomfited by having more of a female presence within his house, for he had been the very one to put such a thing in place!

“I am sure you will be even more contented, Lord Ware,” she found herself saying, rising slowly from her chair and holding his gaze with a firm look. “And I know that my brother will be very grateful when I write to inform him that I have arrived here safely. He spoke very highly of you in his letter.” She tilted her head, examining Lord Ware as she spoke and finding a courage within her heart that she had not known she possessed. “I should hate to write to him and state that, unfortunately, my impression of your character is quite different from what he himself wrote of you.”

Lord Ware did not smile. In fact, his brows knotted together, and his eyes hooded as he looked back at her.

“No,” he muttered, darkly, “we should not wish for that at all, Miss Whyte.”

He waited for some moments until she took her seat again, now feeling a great flush of heat pour into her face as she saw the look of interest and confusion which now flickered across Lady Ware’s features. Lord Ware, however, set his utensils down, cleared his throat and then bade them both a good day before taking his leave. He did not look at Ann directly and neither did she raise her eyes to his. There was a great sense of mortification growing within her, but Ann slowly pushed it aside, welcoming the small glow of triumph which was there also. At least Lord Ware now knew that she was not the sort of young lady who would simply sit there quietly as he said whatever he wished, no matter how cutting or disingenuous. He had already made an impression on her and, without saying anything explicit, Ann had made it quite clear what she thought of him and that, she considered, was something to be glad about.

“You must forgive my son.” Lady Ware blew out a frustrated breath and shook her head, just as Ann turned to give her full attention. “He is not the most jovial of gentleman, I confess, but he is truly glad that you are residing with us this Season.” The look in her eyes begged Ann to believe her words. “As am I.”

“I am very grateful to have you as my chaperone, Lady Ware,” Ann replied, seeing the lady’s expression soften. “Now, where was it you wished to go today?”

She sat back in her chair and listened as Lady Ware began to talk of all the places they might go, feeling a little more contented within herself. Lord Ware had the measure of her at least and Ann had found a courage to speak with more boldness than she had ever expected. Surely things could only improve from here!