His Little Sunshine by Della Cain

Chapter Eighteen

Quinn

Going out to the store had been all Brad could handle last night. He wanted to push, but I’d seen signs of him slipping more and more into his head. When Holden called to invite us up to the main house for steaks on the grill, I took the offer as an easy way out. We had plenty of time, and rushing was good for no one.

The dinner and company was great. Declan and Brad spent much of the time chatting about work, their boss, and the upcoming show. It was the first time I’d seen him in “shop mode,” and I could see why he was so tired at the end of each night.

We came home and snuggled on the couch together watching a silly alien movie until he dozed off, his head in my lap. I carried him upstairs and tucked him into bed beside me. It had been such a perfect ending to our day.

I woke up, Brad still sound asleep, and snuck downstairs to make breakfast. I had watched a few tutorials online and was excited to try my hand at animal-shaped pancakes.

They very much didn’t look like animals.

I set them on two plates with bacon and was putting them on a tray when Brad came downstairs, still all sleepy. “Why didn’t you wake me?” he asked, yawning midway through the sentence.

“I was going to surprise you with breakfast in bed. But I guess I’ll surprise you with breakfast at the breakfast bar.” I swished my hands like a game-show host.

“Breakfast sounds good. I must’ve been tired last night. I fell asleep before my blow job.” He sat on the stool.

“Do I owe you a blow job? Because I always make good on my debts.” And who doesn’t like a morning orgasm or two.

“No, Daddy.” It came out so natural, and it was…everything. It was everything. “I was going to give you one before dinner for helping at the store, but then we ended up with our friends and in a rush to get there. Then I fell asleep.” He shrugged and looked at the plates. “Can I use my new plate?”

And we were doing this.

“You were tired.” I went to the cupboard and grabbed his serving set. “And of course you can. Would you like me to cut it for you?”

Brad shook his head. “I want to dip my pancakes.”

“Good thing this has a divider.” I moved everything over to the new dish and filled one section with syrup. “Milk or juice?” I held up his cup.

He giggled. “Coffee. I can only step into this whole thing so far.”

I slid him his plate and poured him a cup of coffee, putting a cute coffee mug on the list of things to buy.

“Was that the wrong answer? The coffee, I mean?” He picked up a pancake and, sure enough, he dipped the entire thing in the syrup and then took a huge bite of it.

“There is no right and wrong.” I sat beside him. “None.” He popped the last of his pancake in his mouth and picked up the mug with two hands, bringing it to his mouth slowly.

I gnawed on my bacon. “You know, just for the future, anytime you have a blow job on the schedule, you can let me know, and I’ll be sure to pencil it in so it doesn’t get forgotten.”

He nearly spit out his coffee. “I’ll remember that.” He grabbed a second pancake. “This is a…fish?” he guessed.

“No.” It had been an attempt at a dog. “But let’s pretend they all are.”

“Works for me.” He gulped the next one. They might not look good, but they were delicious. I used my mother’s recipe.

“I was thinking maybe I could try some little things today. See if I like them.”

“That would be fun and, if you don’t like something, we stop.” It was as easy as that. When I told Holden being little wasn’t a deal breaker, it wasn’t. Brad naturally let me take care of him, and that would be enough for me. It would fulfill that caregiver need I had.

“The little chat group I’m in said not to expect little space right away.”

My jaw nearly hit the counter at his words. But, really, it shouldn’t have. If he had gone out of his way to make personalized clothing, of course he did a ton of research, and what better way to learn things than by people who were experts. In this case—littles. “You may not. Some people don’t ever. They just like the playfulness of it.”

“I think—I want to find the headspace.”

And I would do what I could to help him do so. His poor head was a busy place, and letting it all go would be so good for him. “One step at a time.” I kissed his cheek. “And we’ll get you there. But if that is your foremost goal, it might evade you because you’ll be so busy thinking about it that you can’t let it go.”

“That makes sense.” He picked up a strip of bacon. “You know how you want to know what I want and for me to not keep things in?”

“Very much so,” I encouraged him. “What does my Sunshine want?”

“I think I want to take a bath with my toys, wear a diaper but not use it…maybe. I’m on the fence about that.” And he went back into his head. I could almost see him having the conversation with himself.

“You don’t need to decide until you do.” I rubbed my thumb along his cheekbone. “What else would you like to do?”

“Wear my onesies over my diaper and take a nap.” He turned to face me fully. “Does that work for you?”

“Absolutely. Would you like a sippy with your nap?” Brad had added both juice and chocolate milk to the cart, and I was guessing it was for sippy time.

His eyes lit up. “Yes. I wasn’t sure because it might leak or something.”

“If so, we’ll change the sheets. Not a problem.” We were going to have to do it anyway, given the odds of us not getting our cum all over them were slim to none.

“I want to ask you something and…it’s embarrassing.” He didn’t need to tell me the last part. His cheeks were already a deep fire-engine red.

“Ask me anything…always.”

“Does it gross you out if someone uses the diaper?” He couldn’t even meet my eyes.

“Someone or you?” I clarified.

“If I did.”

“No. It wouldn’t gross me out. It would send a thrill through me that you trusted me so completely with your needs, you would let go like that.”

“It would only be pee,” he blurted out.

“It can be anything you want.” I slid off my chair. “That time is for you.”

“And what time is for you, Daddy?” He looked up at me.

“Every moment I get to spend with you.” I picked up his dish. “Let me get this cleaned up and then I can draw you a bath.”

“Or I can help you and then you can draw me a bath.” He grabbed the mugs off the counter and walked to the dishwasher.

We cleaned up, side by side, as if he hadn’t taken yet another small step toward his little side in preparation of taking a huge one.

“If I start this, will there be enough water for the tub?” He closed the dishwasher.

“Probably.” I hadn’t tried it, but I’d not run out of water yet and had washed my clothes while I was in the shower on a particularly stinky day when I fell where no one wanted to fall.

“Better be safe and start it after the tub is full?”

“Probably.” I took his hand. “Are you ready, Sunshine?”

“Yes, Daddy.”

And just like that, there was a shift in the room. I couldn’t quite pinpoint it. It was as if all of the morning had been his preparation and, now that it was time, he was ready.

“Let’s get you ready for a tubby.” I led him upstairs and into the bathroom with the old footed bathtub. It wasn’t the closest to my room, but it would be worth the walk back for his diaper and nap.

“If you need to use the potty, now’s the time. Daddy needs to get you your prezzie.”

“I want to come with you.” He stuck out his pouty lip. He might not be in little space, but he was working hard to get there. I looked forward to the day my voice could just bring him there.

“Of course.” We padded the rest of the way down the hall to my bedroom. The toys and bubble bath were already in the bathroom, but I wanted to grab a bathrobe I’d picked for him. It was a novelty design for Halloween fun and not for age play, per se, but it worked. It was made of terrycloth, the hood was a frog, and it had pockets. I’d almost picked up one for myself, it was so soft.

“You bought that for me?” He snatched it from my hands. “I love green. Like, I really love the color. I wanted to paint my room green when I was a kid, but white walls were the option.” Yep. Still hated his parents. I was proud of him for getting rid of their toxicity from his life, even if they were still taking up space in his head rent-free.

“It looked so cute. I didn’t know you loved green. I need to remember that.” If he ended up liking the diapers, I was going to get him frog ones. He’d be adorable in his frog hoodie robe and big fat frog butt. I understood the draw of disposable diapers for many, but I loved the way cloth left the wearer with a fluffy butt.

“It’s my favorite.” He threw his arms around me. “Thank you, Daddy.”

“Now, let’s get you a tubby.” I filled the tub, adding extra bubbles. I wanted to get him a bottle with one of the characters from a popular show. Experience had taught me those usually smelled awful, and I’d opted for the lavender help baby relaxbefore bed kind. I added looking into fun shaped bottles to fill with my own bath products to my list.

I helped him off with his clothing, completely ignoring his erection. If he wanted me to take care of that, he’d ask. Maybe not right away, but he would. Brad was so much better at that than most people ever grew to be. I assisted him into the tub, and he sat in the warm water.

“This is a fancy tubby.” He picked up a handful of bubbles and blew them. “I like it. Can I play now?”

“Nope.” I popped the P. “You need to get clean first.” He started to pout until I added, “Let Daddy help you with that.”

I left his hair, not wanting to figure out how to rinse it completely without taking him out of the shallow headspace he’d already managed to get into. Using a washcloth, I washed him from head to toe, careful not to pay too much attention to places that increased his arousal. This wasn’t the time for that.

“All clean. Give me my toys.”

I hadn’t even set the washcloth down. “As you wish, Sunshine.” I had put them in a small plastic basket and set the entire thing on the soap holder that extended the length of the tub.

That didn’t last long. He dumped the entire thing in the water and began playing with them. He lined up the animals and had them dive off of the soap holder. He even found the two that would squirt water and aimed them right at me.

He was having a ball until the water chilled, the suds died, and his fingers turned into raisins.

“Time to get out and ready for your nap.” I pulled out the drain and held my hand out for him.

“Only because I cold.” Not I’m cold, or I am cold, but I cold. I’d have to chat with him after his nap to see how deep he fell into little space, but for a first time, I was so proud of him. This was what he wanted, and he was making sure it happened.

“We can’t have you cold, sweet boy. Let’s get you warmed up.”