Wild by Sara Fields

Chapter 4

Revna

It was only the two of us in this room. No one else. I wondered if he knew that.

I studied him closely. His presence set me on edge, and it was slowly becoming clear to me that the longer we were together like this, the riskier it would be for the likes of someone like me.

His hands were too rough for a priest, callused and hard as if he’d lived the life of a warrior or a blacksmith or even a farmer, but that wasn’t what raised the hairs on the backs of my arms. It was the fact that he was an alpha and he had his sights set on me.

Ever since I’d been sold to this place, I’d been surrounded by betas. I hadn’t come across a single alpha and now I was alone here in a room with one. I slid my hand behind my back and closed my fingers around the handle of the knife the people here had foolishly served with my dinner that night. They hadn’t noticed when it disappeared and made its way into my hands. I had it safely stowed away within the sash of this silly gown that they’d forced me to wear. I fingered that handle, deciding whether it was time to use it or not.

I don’t think I’d ever worn a dress until this wretched temple. I missed my leathers and I especially missed just wearing a pair of pants. By the gods, this place hadn’t even given me panties to wear beneath it.

I felt so bare without them.

He reached for me and I gripped that knife harder. I gritted my teeth and lifted my chin.

I knew what happened when an alpha took an omega. I’d seen it with my own eyes, and I’d vowed long ago to never let it happen to me.

He took a step forward as his fingers just grazed my cheek and I choose that exact moment to pull the knife free from my sash. In a smooth arc, I swung my arm down, catching him off guard with my sudden flurry of motion. The blade sliced through the white of his robes before he arched backwards just enough to avoid its bite against his skin. I snarled and he growled in return.

My knees buckled under the power of his alpha and I hated it. I stumbled for a second before I was able to gather myself. Fucking bastard. He’d soon regret that.

“Do not challenge me, omega. You will regret it,” he responded gruffly.

“Do not think you can touch me without my permission, alpha,” I snarled.

His eyes narrowed in my direction, but there was a certain glimmer of amusement hidden inside them that was entirely too unnerving.

“Don’t push me,” he warned.

I ignored him. I wasn’t about to back down.

I leapt in his direction, jabbing the knife toward him and forcing him to take several steps backwards. I sidestepped and twirled away, only to feint back toward him. I caught his upper arm this time with my blade, slicing in just deep enough to cut through his robes and into his flesh. He grimaced, but he didn’t make a sound.

Admirable, but cocky nonetheless. I’d have to remember not to underestimate him.

“You’re playing a dangerous game, omega,” he growled, and I glared at him. There was a certain amount of restraint in his voice, which was chilling at the same time that it made me angry.

“As are you,” I spat.

I attacked him again. He dodged my assault and together, we began the graceful dance of two well-trained warriors locked together in a fight to the death. When I raced forward, he didn’t stand down. I attacked him again and again in an effort to slice my blade across his throat and end him, but he continued to evade me each and every time. Had I simply been a spectator in this fight, I’d have been impressed.

At last, I spun in close enough to graze the bare flesh of his neck. In a quick flash of movement, his fingers closed around my wrist and he spun me around so that the tip of the blade pressed snugly against my own throat. I tried to twist out of his grip, but he was far stronger than I had anticipated. My upper back pressed against his chest and I really didn’t like how a surge of need flowed through me at the unexpected contact of his heat against mine.

“You think you can win against me, don’t you, Revna?” he said gently and there was a dangerous undercurrent to his words. I stilled as I tried to run through every various maneuver I knew that might free me from his clutches, but none of them seemed to account for the massive size difference between him and me. There was no way I was about to toss the large alpha over my head. I doubted that I even had to strength to knock him aside more than a few inches at best. That doubt wouldn’t stop me though. The need to challenge him was overwhelming and I embraced it wholeheartedly.

I tried to pull my arm away, but his grip was as firm as cement. The fingers of his other hand slipped across the bare expanse of my throat, exploring my flesh as he wished, and I couldn’t do a thing about it.

“Don’t touch me,” I spat. He simply chuckled in response.

“Has an alpha ever touched you before?” he asked, and I screeched as I redoubled my efforts to pull away. I didn’t stop fighting. I couldn’t.

“Like you don’t know,” I snapped.

That same hand slipped down my shoulder to cup my breast over top of my dress. I stiffened as two fingers grazed across my right nipple before he pinched them together, increasing the pressure on my sensitive bud in the process. I sucked in a breath as I came to a reluctant realization.

I was aroused by his mere presence and I hated it.

My nipples were hard, and my skin was buzzing with electricity. On its own, those things wouldn’t concern me, but it was what was between my thighs that worried me. Even though I didn’t want this, my arousal was slick between my thighs. I could feel every last bit of it as my legs slid against one another. I was wet for this man and I didn’t want to be.

I closed my eyes. I knew he could likely sense it too.

“Get your hands off of me,” I snarled and the pressure on my nipple increased until he was pinching it painfully between his fingers. I bit my lip and refused to make a sound. I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of knowing that he was hurting me. He didn’t deserve to know that.

“Do you really want to challenge an alpha, Revna?” he murmured, and his breath tickled my ear. I shuddered hard and I hated myself for it, feeling the electricity of his skin against mine stoking something deep inside that I didn’t want to admit because I feared what it was at its source.

“Unhand me, bastard,” I growled, and his body tensed. He pinched my nipple even more firmly than before and I had force myself not to cry out at the sudden pain that lanced across my breast. He twisted it hard and much to my chagrin, a soft sigh of agony slipped from me unhindered.

“It’s becoming very clear to me that you have never been properly put in your place by an alpha before, Revna. There are men out there that are much crueler than me. They would simply kill you for such a severe transgression, especially out here in the wilds,” he continued, and I couldn’t stop myself from challenging him again.

The sounds of my snarls echoed all around us.

“Perhaps I should teach you a lesson in how an alpha properly handles an omega that’s stepped out of line…”

“I’ll kill you,” I glowered, and his cheek pressed up against the side of my head. I could feel him smiling. He wasn’t even the least bit afraid. My defiance simply amused him.

I twisted hard, not caring that my own movement caused a piercing jolt of agony to slam through my shoulder. As I spun, I brought my leg up between his thighs as firmly as I could. As soon as my knee made contact, he grunted with pain of his own and I took that second to rotate my wrist, pressing it hard against his thumb rather than the wall that was his fingers. I slipped out of his grasp as his body curled forward and I took advantage of his momentary lack of focus to break free from him.

I sprinted as quickly as I could through the moon garden. I gave it everything I had, but when I reached the door to the gardens, the knob didn’t budge.

It was locked.

I was trapped inside with this man and as that terrible realization washed over me, his massive frame slammed against mine and pinned me against the door.

“You’ve pushed me too far, omega,” he whispered, and I attempted to push off the door, but with his chest flush against my back, I didn’t even move a full inch. I struggled to the best of my ability yet none of it seemed to matter. I’d have to resort to threats.

“Leave me be,” I snarled. “Take your hands off me this instant.”

“It’s too late for that now, omega,” he replied darkly. I wanted to elbow him right in the face, but his palms pressed against my arms and held me firmly in place. He was so much bigger and stronger than me that I wondered if I’d ever stood a chance.

My mind raced, trying to evaluate our fight path for moments when I should have reacted differently, but I couldn’t come up with anything. I’d made the right calls, sidestepped his advances, retreated at the perfect moment, and even gained the upper hand enough to escape his clutches.

I hadn’t banked on being locked in this room here all alone with him. I’d hoped for a chance at freedom.

“Fuck off, alpha,” I spat with as much derision as I could muster. He didn’t say anything in response and remained still against me for a long time, which felt infinitely worse. His breathing had quickened and for a second, I was thankful that I couldn’t see his face. Was he thinking about hurting me? Was he planning on making me suffer before he killed me?

What did he mean by consequences? What was he going to do to me?

I closed my eyes, fear and fury at war inside me.

“You’re trembling, Revna,” he observed.

“Release me,” I whispered hoarsely.

“While commendable, your ferocity is misplaced, omega. It’s very dangerous for you to challenge an alpha like you have tonight. You need to know that there are alphas that aren’t as merciful as me. They would kill you in a second,” he warned.

“Good,” I spat.

“You don’t want that, omega. Your fire is beautiful. It doesn’t deserve to be put out,” he murmured and for a moment, his words caught me off guard. His hands felt gentle on my skin, not cruel as I expected. I didn’t know what to do so I didn’t do anything at all.

“What do you want with me?” I finally managed to breathe and he sighed softly.

“Come. It’s time you learn how a real alpha handles an omega when she needs to be reminded of her place.”

His words did something strange to my core. It squeezed tight and it suddenly felt hard to breathe. I chewed my lower lip, trying to grapple with the sudden surge of desire to understand what he meant and a harsh jolt of fear.

I didn’t have to wait long to find out.

His hands wound around my waist and lifted me cleanly off the ground as if I didn’t weigh anything at all. Without delay, he threw me over his shoulder, turning back around and striding toward the manmade pond with frightening purpose. Once he reached the bench I’d been sitting on earlier, he took a seat and tossed me so that I was lying face down over his knees. I moved to push myself up to a seated position, but as soon as I gained a little leverage his palm pressed down firmly on the cusp of my hip and pinned me firmly into place.

“Wait,” I squeaked.

His grasp didn’t relent. If anything, he pressed down even harder on my waist. As I fought him, his other hand brushed against the back of my knee and started to rise. I stiffened, his touch firmer on my skin the further it went, and it caught the silky hem of my dress along with it.

“What are you doing?” I shrieked. I pushed off the bench again, but my efforts were in vain. His hold was strong, and I hardly budged a single inch.

His fingers didn’t stop. They just kept lifting higher as he exposed the backs of my thighs and he paused right before he bared the lower curves of my backside.

“I don’t think anyone has ever had the opportunity to look upon this beautiful body before, have they, Revna?” he asked carefully.

His words cast me in a web of innocence, and I couldn’t escape it no matter how hard I fought. He had made me feel as though I was the most inexperienced woman in the world with nothing but a few sentences.

I hated that it was true.

I’d never done anything like this. I’d never been pinned over a man’s knee and threatened with the exposure of my naked body. I didn’t understand why there was blazing hot desire flowing through every single inch of me either and the worst part of it all was that I couldn’t force that feeling away no matter how hard I tried. It just continued to grow stronger with every passing second. I breathed in one shaky breath after the next, drawing it in and out in an effort to chill the rising heat within me.

“Answer me, omega. Has an alpha ever seen you bare before?” he asked, and I gasped, having entirely forgotten that he’d asked me a question in the first place. I’d been too caught up in the feeling of his fingers upon my skin.

“No,” I whispered haughtily. My momentary shock had finally worn off and a simmering anger had started to brew up from deep within me. I embraced it with everything in me.

“You will refer to me as your alpha when you’re over my knee, omega,” he growled in warning and that only made my fury blaze even hotter.

“Fuck you,” I retorted, and his fingers started moving again. Very slowly, he bared my naked bottom and I stiffened as a rush of embarrassment washed over me like a sudden rainstorm. My cheeks flushed and there was no doubt in my mind that they were bright red. If he could see my face, he’d know just how much of an effect he was having on me, and I was more than thankful that he couldn’t. I didn’t think I could bear the embarrassment of something like that.

“You’ve got such a beautiful bottom, little omega. I’m going to enjoy punishing it very much,” he murmured, not rising to my baited challenge.

I kicked my legs, but the tips of my toes just scraped against the ground and it slowly dawned on me that I wasn’t going to gain any leverage this way either.

I was trapped.

His palm pressed against my right bottom cheek. In that single touch was a silent word of warning and I stilled, losing myself in my fear, anxiety, desire, and blatant curiosity. He squeezed my backside possessively and an unexpected sliver of pleasure twisted tight in my core. My pussy clenched reflexively, and I bit my lip in shame.

I wished my body hadn’t done that.

I pressed my thighs together so firmly that they slid against each other and I came to the awful conclusion that I was soaking wet. I was positive that he could scent it and as he tilted me forward just a bit, he lifted my bottom in a way so that he could likely see it too.

My inner omega was responding to him even though I didn’t want her to. I tried to think about anything else, but my body still craved his touch. My instincts needed him to breed me, and they didn’t care whether I was a willing participant in any of it.

He cupped my left bottom cheek and squeezed it harder, digging his nails into my skin and causing a rush of stinging pain to blossom across my bared flesh. I gasped in surprise and he did the same to the other side, before he slipped his fingers lower on my naked thighs. I moved to fight his descent by pressing my legs even more firmly together, but he pushed between them as if my efforts hadn’t impeded him even in the slightest.

He cleared his throat and my shame deepened.

“You fight me, omega, but you’re soaking wet,” he mused while sliding his fingers through my arousal. A brilliant jolt of electricity shot straight to my clit and I hated the way it started throbbing in anticipation of his touch.

“Let me go,” I spat. I didn’t want this. I didn’t want an alpha.

“No. I’m not going to release you. You’ve got a hard spanking coming and I’m not going to let you up until your bare little bottom is bright red,” he continued.

I froze.

A spanking?

“Wait. Stop!”

His palm patted my left cheek suggestively and I tensed every muscle in my body. He chuckled and his laughter made my stomach flip-flop with anxiety stronger than I was prepared to deal with.

“Do you think an omega has the right to tell an alpha what to do?” he asked, and my pussy tightened greedily. Why was I reacting this way? I should be angry, furious even that he’d put me over his knee and forcibly bared me, but my arousal made it too hard to focus on any of that.

My clit pulsed against his thigh and as I squirmed over his lap, I felt something else.

His cock.

It was unbearably hard, pressing firmly against my hip. While hidden within the confines of his robes, I could tell just how very big it was and that did something shameful to my insides.

What would it feel like if his cock slipped in deep between my thighs? Would I like it? Would I beg him to make me like it?

What was wrong with me?

His palm lightly swatted my bottom again, catching me off guard and causing my thoughts to race into overdrive.

My anger had just begun to fizzle beneath the intensity of my arousal, and I couldn’t call it back no matter what I did or thought.

He smacked my bottom hard twice, once on either side and I squeaked in surprise.

“Why is your bottom bare over my knee, omega?” he asked, and his words invoked that slippery sense of fury to come flying back like a slingshot.

“Because you’re an alpha and that makes you a fucking bastard,” I quipped. He chuckled and spanked me hard twice again. I stilled as a cold realization washed over me.

That hurt. He didn’t just mean to embarrass me. He meant to actually punish me.

“I take it that I’m going to have to punish that sassy mouth as well, little omega. I like your feistiness, but there is a time and place for it and that certainly isn’t when your bare bottom is about to get a very hard spanking over my knee,” he warned.

I glared at the ground, trying to grapple with the confusing feelings of desire and annoyance racing through me at his heavy-handedness. I couldn’t contend with any of them, so I just laid there stewing in the tumultuous storm of emotions swirling through me. I had to figure out a way to get out of this.

“Your punishment is going to begin after you fully understand why you’re over my knee in the first place, Revna. Every spank you earn before that is just adding to what you already have coming,” he warned and for the first time, a real frisson of fear tore through my insides.

“Don’t,” I snapped. “You will let me up immediately.”

“You’re getting a spanking, little omega. The only thing left for you to decide is how much harder and longer it’s going to be than I had originally intended,” he threatened.

That should have been warning enough, but I didn’t heed it. I continued fighting him anyway.

“You wouldn’t dare,” I spat. “Release me at once.”

He didn’t answer me right away. Instead, his hand suddenly peppered against my backside with purpose, hard and fast and it took my breath away. The first few smacks had been child’s play compared to this and had barely even stung, but this was so much different. This hurt a great deal.

With every connection of his palm to my nakedness, it stung a little at first. Every subsequent spank built on the last, making it burn hotter as time wore on. Soon enough, it felt as though my bottom was on fire and he’d barely gotten started. He spanked me hard enough to elicit a cry from my lips and I cringed at that sound. I clamped my mouth firmly shut, wanting to stay quiet at all costs. I didn’t want him to know just how much he was getting to me and I especially didn’t want him to know how much his hand already hurt.

“Why am I spanking you, Revna?” he asked again.

“Because you’re a vicious brute,” I snarled, and he punished me even harder after that.

“I had only planned on using my hand to teach you a lesson, omega, but you’re quickly earning several stripes of my belt along with it,” he threatened.

“Your belt?” I whispered in shock. I couldn’t stop myself and I hated that.

“Yes. You’re going to find out what a taste of my belt feels like, little omega,” he added, and I shuddered at the same time that my clit pulsed hard.

“I’m only going to ask one more time, Revna. You are quickly running out of chances, so I suggest you answer me if you wanted to be afforded the privilege of sitting down tomorrow,” he continued.

“You don’t have to do this,” I whispered.

“I do. You need a firm lesson to remind you of your place, omega, and I’m going to be the alpha to do it,” he growled softly, forcing my core to collapse in on itself, and a rush of wetness slid down my thighs. He’d made my body answer his call.

It hurt when he growled like that. It was even more shameful to realize that he could force my slick from me with nothing but a sound.

“Please,” I pleaded, finally resorting to a gentler approach.

“Why are you getting a spanking, Revna?” he asked for the third time, and my tongue felt like a piece of cotton in my throat. I opened my mouth and closed it again, suddenly finding myself at a loss for words.

I wished I could disappear. I prayed for the gods to rescue me, but not a single one of them appeared to save me from what was to come.

“You’re running out of time, omega,” he warned as his palm smoothed over the tops of my cheeks. I needed to answer him. Quickly.

“Because I’m fighting you,” I spat.

“That’s a part of it, but that’s not the main reason, omega,” he answered.

I felt so small and vulnerable over his lap like this, with my dress pulled up and my bottom entirely bare. All my pride had been washed away in its entirety and I was left in a bubble of nervous anxiety that threatened to consume me. My fury had just about faded away under the power of my fearful arousal.

“Because I challenged you,” I whispered finally, too lost in the churning feelings of vulnerability that held me captive.

“It isn’t just me, Revna. It is something much bigger than that. It is dangerous for an omega to challenge an alpha. Lesser men would have killed you for such an offense and I prefer you very much alive,” he murmured and the kindness behind his words wilted the last tendrils of the fury inside me.

“Why would you care?” I asked softly. “I don’t even know you.”

“I’m the type of man that loathes seeing an omega’s fire put out,” he replied as his palm smoothed over my stinging bottom. His touch comforted me, and I loathed that it did.

“I am spanking you not only to remind you of your place, but as a lesson to be far more careful in the future. Use your fire wisely, omega,” he scolded, and my iron heart pounded the tiniest bit with understanding. Deep down, I knew he was right. I had always known challenging an alpha was a dangerous game.

“Is it going to hurt?” I asked softly, unable to hide the way my fear was making my voice quiver in anticipation. My muscles tensed reflexively. He shifted me a little bit forward over his knee and I whimpered. My bottom felt so vulnerable like this.

“Yes, omega,” he answered.

“I don’t want it to hurt,” I murmured.

“I know, Revna,” he said. “But that doesn’t change that you need it to hurt. Do you know how I know this?”

“How?” I echoed.

“Open your legs,” he commanded.

“No. I can’t,” I squeaked. He didn’t wait for my obedience though. Instead, he just forced my legs apart using the strength of his hand between my thighs. His fingers pressed firmly against my pussy, gliding through my arousal with purpose and I cried out with overwhelming shame. He’d found what I’d been so desperate to hide.

“This is why, little omega. You need to learn how an alpha truly handles an omega before the sun rises today and I intend to be that alpha tonight,” he said boldly, and a hard shiver raced down my spine as his fingertip just grazed against my sensitive clit. My slick slid down my thighs and I shuddered with shame.

I was lost in a sea of confusion and arousal and I was sinking deeper with every passing second. Did I want him to touch me? Did I want him to let me go? Did I want to touch myself?

“Do you understand why you’re getting spanked now, omega?” he asked gently as he dragged his finger back and forth across my clit, coaxing even more of my desire to the surface as a result. There was no fighting it now. My need was growing greater, holding me captive in its ever-tightening vise.

“Oh. Yes, alpha,” I squeaked in surprise. I wasn’t sure if I was responding to his question or trying to coerce him into touching me even more.

“Good. Then it’s about time for your punishment to begin,” he said firmly, and his fingers immediately disappeared from between my thighs. I cried out with frustration as a hard zing of denial jolted through me, but he didn’t allow me to wallow in that feeling for very long. His hand cracked down hard on my backside and at once, the air rushed out of my lungs with sudden unexpected force.

This was bad.

I had thought he’d spanked me hard before. He showed me now that it could get that much harder, that it could hurt that much more.

His palm was viciously relentless as he spanked me, biting into my nakedness over and over with deliberate purpose. Each one felt deeper and more insistent since he’d taken the time to explain why I was in this position in the first place. I should be angry with him, but I couldn’t bring myself to be. Not when so much of my focus was on the cruel bite of his hand over and over again.

He was a perfect stranger. By the gods, I had only just learned his name, but even as he spanked me there was no vitriol behind his words. There was no hatred or fury or anger of any kind on his part. He was calm, terrifyingly so, and that made the spanking sink in that much deeper.

I didn’t know how much more I could take, but it turned out that didn’t matter at all.

His palm painted across every inch of my backside, ensuring to punish the upper portions of my cheeks down to the place where my bottom met my thighs. That stung more than all the rest and then he began to punish the backs of my legs too.

“Please! I’ve learned my lesson,” I shrieked, but he didn’t slow down, not even for a second. I squirmed hard, trying to break his hold. He was too strong. I was too small.

This was going to happen whether I wanted it to or not.

“Oh, Revna, I’ve just barely gotten started. Your beautiful little bottom is only slightly pink. You should know that your spanking isn’t going to end until it’s bright red and marked from my belt,” he chided, and I struggled against him. “It will be easier for you if you give into your punishment. Embrace this and take what your alpha gives you.”

“I’ve had enough,” I argued, and he responded with several hard smacks to the backs of my thighs. I keened in surprise at the sudden stinging agony that radiated across my skin and I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to survive the terrible onslaught. This was a spanking. Nothing more than that.

I’d made it through things far worse than this.

With nothing more than his palm though, he’d turned me into a whimpering mess. My bottom was already on fire.

“You do not get to decide when you’ve had enough, omega. I do. As an alpha,” he declared, and I chewed my bottom lip as I struggled to take the harshness of his hand.

The echoes of my spanking surrounded me, bouncing off the walls and making me feel like a naughty little girl who needed to be punished like this. It was embarrassing, but at the same time it was unbelievably arousing.

Soon enough, it became impossible to keep quiet. My gasps and whines turned into open cries that gave away just how much his palm was taking its toll. The muscles of my backside clenched tight in a protective measure, but that only made it worse. In a rush, I forced myself to relax even though it was exceedingly difficult. It took me several long minutes, but when I finally managed it, I sighed the slightest bit in relief until a particularly hard spank made me huff with fear.

How long was this going to go on? Could I take what he planned to give me?

The more he spanked me, the less confident I felt. I squirmed as much as I could in an attempt to avoid any bit of the brutal punishment, but it didn’t help. His aim was true each and every time and before I could stop myself, a scream escaped my lips.

It was different from the sounds I’d made before. This time, I sounded helpless, out of control and weak. My breathing hitched in the back of my throat and a new, real fear began to swirl around inside me of that was stronger than all the rest.

If this continued, he was going to make me cry.

I bit my lip hard and squeezed my eyes shut, doing everything in my power to remain strong and not break for him.

I didn’t want him to see me cry.

I didn’t want any man to see me like that, least of all an alpha, especially not with my bottom bare over his knee.

He started to punish my thighs exclusively and I lost all semblance of reason.

Then I started to beg.

“No. Please! I’m sorry!”

Maybe if I apologized and showed him that I regretted my actions, this would soon end. Maybe if I said the right thing or took the rest of what he had planned for me gracefully, it wouldn’t be so bad. I would say anything if only his hand would stop before he made me cry.

“You can beg all you want, omega, but this will not end until I decide it should,” he said darkly, and I didn’t really understand why, but my pussy tightened with need at his words.

I should hate this with every fiber of my being, but I couldn’t.

Even though my backside was on fire, I felt more alive than I’d ever been. My skin was buzzing with electricity and my core was simmering with desire like I’d never felt before.

I wasn’t naïve to the ways of pleasure. I’d just never partaken in them myself. I’d never even wanted to.

Until today.

Until right now with my bare bottom on fire from an alpha’s hand.

I felt real desire for the first time and it was intoxicating.

The spanking intensified further and the tears I’d been trying so hard to hold back eventually trickled down my cheeks. They dripped down onto the marble bench beneath my face and pooled under my chin, tiny glaring beacons of my breaking right before my eyes.

I couldn’t hide from that anymore.

The initial tears took ages to slide down my skin, but they began to fall in earnest after that. I began to sob, and I hardly noticed when the punishing spanks began to slow with them. Soon enough, they stopped altogether.

I expected him to push me off his lap onto the ground and leave me a crying mess, but he didn’t do that. Instead, he gathered his hands around my waist and lifted me into his arms. He maneuvered me so that I was sitting in his lap. His hand curled around me and cupped the back of my head, pressing my cheek firmly against his chest in a calming embrace. I was too far gone to fight his hold and my body molded to him in an effort to seek out comfort.

I’d never been held like this and it was forcing things to the surface that I wasn’t prepared to deal with.

I’d been shunned by so many in my life. My father had been a mean drunk and so selfish that he’d stolen my mother from another alpha. He didn’t care that she was marked by another.

He’d killed her mate without a care. He didn’t care that it would make her life living hell after that. When an omega was parted from her alpha, it was pure agony and the worst kind of torture anyone could live through. Most didn’t survive something like that. The majority ended up choosing death instead. The stealing of a marked mate was considered such an egregious crime that it was forbidden across much of the world.

My father had only hurt my mother in order to get what he wanted, and he hadn’t been forced to pay the price for that until me.

My body shook with emotion and I cried harder than I thought possible. I didn’t remember the last time I cried and that only seemed to make the tears flow faster. My thoughts ricocheted back to the man who was holding me, the firm steady arms that surrounded me and the feeling that after this was all over everything was going to be okay.

“Shhh, it’s okay, sweet omega. I’ll take care of you,” he murmured.

I didn’t want to like him. I didn’t like how his gentleness was chewing away at the fortress that protected my heart and I especially didn’t like the way I was clutching at him as if I would fall to pieces if I let go.

I curled into him, listening to the sounds of his sure and steady heart as the enticing scent of his alpha surrounded me. The aroma of a campfire, the hint of well-oiled leather, and the pure scent of gingered oranges swirled around me, capturing me and lulling me into a much-needed sense of comfort.

“Why do you care?” I asked. No one had ever shown me kindness and it was making me feel so off balance that I couldn’t think of a single graceful way to accept it. I wasn’t asking him to bait him. I simply wanted to understand why he’d want to teach me a lesson like this.

He sighed. It sounded heavy.

“Long ago, I knew a pretty little thing. She was an omega, a feisty one like you, but she never accepted her role even though there was nothing she could do to change it. She fought it every step of the way. One day, she made the mistake of challenging the wrong alpha at the wrong time,” he said softly. There was no hiding the sorrow in his tone. Something awful had happened and I chewed my lip with trepidation before I decided that I wanted to know more.

“What happened to her?” I asked, sniffling back the tears that continued to fall down my face. His arms squeezed around me even tighter, possessive and I found myself genuinely enjoying the feeling of them even as my bottom burned against his thigh.

“He took her for himself, against her will. After he was through with her, she never spoke again,” he murmured.

“She was important to you?” I asked carefully.

“She was my sister,” he whispered.

“What happened to her?” I asked.

“She disappeared one night, and I never saw her again,” he answered and for some reason, I yearned to curl even closer to him. I wanted to offer him comfort even though I’d just been so thoroughly punished by his own hand over his knee.

His admission sent my mind into a whirlwind of thought. I understood even more so why he’d decided to punish me. He hadn’t done it in an effort to take advantage of me. He had truly meant to teach me a lesson. In the end, it soothed me to know that, but I also knew that it wasn’t yet over.

The weight of it wasn’t lost on me.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and resituated myself so that my thighs straddled his waist. I wound my fingers together and simply enjoyed the feeling of his body against mine.

Maybe I’d been wrong to think that all alphas were monsters.

“Ivar?” I whispered.

“What is it, Revna?” he asked.

I swallowed anxiously as I grappled with what I wanted to say next. It scared me to even consider for asking for more, but the need to please him was overwhelmingly strong in that moment and there was nothing in me powerful enough to fight it.

I knew what it was.

It was instinct.

My omega was answering to his alpha and she needed to see this through to completion. She was in control right now and there would be no reining her in now.

“I’m ready for the rest of my lesson,” I whispered anxiously, and he stilled against me.

“You know what that means, don’t you, little omega? I’m going to use my belt and I don’t plan to be gentle with it,” he answered sternly, but there was an undertone of kindness beneath it. The steady calmness in his voice settled my nerves and I felt a tiny bit braver at the sound of it.

I drew back and stared into his eyes, noticing they were icy blue for the first time. Unable to stop myself, I drew my finger down the line of his jaw, tracing the thick brown beard that covered it. My eyes flicked up to his curious gaze and down to his full lips. I swallowed heavily and leaned forward, wanting and needing to bring myself closer to him.

Would it be so bad to give into instinct just this once?

“You won’t hurt me?” I asked.

“No. The belt is going to be painful, but I won’t hurt you,” he answered.

His words shouldn’t make sense, but to me they did. Nothing about him or his demeanor was triggering the need to defend myself. This didn’t feel dangerous. For some reason, that made me feel safe and that was far more calming than I cared to admit.

“You understand that though, don’t you, Revna?”

“Yes, alpha,” I whispered.

I meant every word.

“Good. When you’re ready, you will lie down on the bench and lift your dress for me. When your bottom is properly bared, I will finish your lesson with my belt,” he commanded gently.

Very slowly, I pulled back and placed my feet on the floor. I stood in front of him, and my silky dress fell back into place as he moved out of my way. As I leaned forward and laid myself on the bench, I felt like I was jumping off into the unknown. With much hesitation, I lowered myself onto my belly and swallowed anxiously as I imagined what was to come.

My hands moved even more tentatively down the edges of the bench and when I reached the bottom hem of my dress, I grasped it with a quiet cry.

“Show me you’re ready, little omega,” he coaxed. His voice was gentle, but that didn’t make this any easier.

It was so much different when I was forced to lift my own dress. It made it sink in that much deeper and I whined softly with nervousness. I pressed my forehead against the surface of the bench and made myself do what he asked even though it made my stomach dance with butterflies.

I bared my bottom, knowing it was bright red from his hand and that he would soon mark it with his belt. He didn’t move or say anything for a few long moments. I was too ashamed to look, but I imagined that he was staring at my naked backside. Did he like it? Did it make his cock hard knowing he’d turned it bright red?

Had he enjoyed punishing me?

My wayward thoughts made me blush and I sucked in a breath, turning my head to the side in an effort to keep my flushed cheeks secret.

“Look at me, omega,” he persuaded gently. I swallowed hard, whimpering as I obeyed him. For a brief second, I met his eyes and I looked away. I couldn’t bear looking at him. He knelt before me and his fingers drew under my chin as if he could read my thoughts. He made me meet his eyes then.

“Please,” I pleaded.

“You’re so beautiful like this,” he said quietly, and I felt my blush deepen.

“I’m not,” I countered, and he shook his head.

“You have a very deep hatred for your nature. I can see it in your eyes, omega, but know that it is not a curse. It is a blessing and there will be a time in your life where you will come to accept that,” he said softly, and his fingertips just flittered across the sensitive skin of my backside as he continued to speak.

“Some of the strongest people I’ve ever met in my life have been omegas. They’ve brought down cities, turned the tides of war, and rescued those in need from certain death. Do not be ashamed of your nature, Revna. It is a beautiful thing.”

I didn’t know what to say, but I couldn’t tear my eyes away from him. His kindness caught me off guard. It was so unexpected that I couldn’t think of a single response.

I watched as he stood and reached underneath his robes. I couldn’t see what he was doing, but I could hear the sound of leather sliding against leather as he unclasped his belt. My hips rocked back and forth as my pussy clenched tightly in response to it.

He drew it out of his robes, folded it over, and laid it in front of my face, giving me no choice but to stare at it. The leather was well worn in, very thick, and the color of mahogany. I couldn’t stop myself from reaching out to touch it, drawing my fingertips along its soft conditioned surface.

He watched me with interest, allowing me to explore his belt until I drew my hand away and he picked it back up. Carefully, he laid it across my backside, and I stiffened immediately, but he didn’t strike me with it. Not just yet.

Instead, he slid it back and forth across my sensitive skin and I drew in a breath. I liked how that felt. The leather was warm and felt like such a tender touch against my burning bottom that I reluctantly allowed myself to enjoy it.

“I want you to remember this lesson long after this, Revna. It’s going to hurt, but you’re going to take what I give you, aren’t you?”

I shivered as the feelings of pleasure from the belt’s touch slowly evaporated into fearful arousal. His warning made my thighs tremble and I had to concentrate in order to make them stop. My clit never stopped throbbing though and that was far too distracting right now.

“Yes, alpha,” I whimpered.

My pussy clenched tight as the belt lifted off my backside. Every muscle in my body tensed as I waited for the eventual strike, but still it didn’t come. It was as if time had stopped and when I finally braved a look in his direction, it started back up again. He lifted his arm so that the soft leather no longer brushed against my skin and then it whipped back down.

It cut through the air noisily and blazing line of fire burst across my backside a full second after that. A quiet whining sound echoed around me and it took me several long moments to realize that it was me.

A second thrash of the belt followed, this time a little bit lower than the first.

I whimpered much louder this time, fully expecting the fiery blaze to follow its strike now. I couldn’t keep still, and a guiding hand pressed down on my lower back, holding me in place for the rest of what was to come.

I found that comforted me. It was as if his touch was a lifeline to hold onto and I did just that as the belt whipped against my naked bottom for a third time.

My hips rocked and my breathing quickened as I struggled to take it.

“It hurts,” I moaned.

“Are you going to challenge an alpha so openly without knowing what you’re getting into, omega?” he asked.

“No, alpha,” I breathed, gasping as the belt whipped against the tops of my thighs. That stung far more than anything else and a pitiful crying sound followed in its wake.

The belt was relentless. He struck my backside with it over and over until the only thing I could think about was the burning sting it left behind. I knew that I would be sore the next day.

He whipped every inch of my bottom and then he began the descent down my thighs. His hand on my lower back forced me to keep still and take it, but it was still so very difficult.

The fading fire from his palm flared back to life with wild abandon. This time it felt even deeper and more consuming than before, and I struggled far more after that.

It didn’t take long for my breath to catch once more. It took even less time for the tears to start pouring down my face and for sobs to rack my body.

The belt thrashed the backs of my thighs several more times with ferocious intensity. I blubbered apologies. I asked for forgiveness. I said anything and everything in the hopes that he would hear me and grant me mercy.

I found none.

The belt continued to fall long after my tears started anew, ensuring the message sank in so deeply that I vowed I would never forget. I moaned and cried. My fingers clutched at the edges of the bench in silent desperation. My knuckles turned white, and I sobbed harder, hardly even realizing the belt had slowed by a large margin.

It was replaced by his hand seconds later. His finger caressed my scalded skin for a few moments, and then he spanked me firmly with his palm several times.

That drove the message even deeper.

“There now,” he mused. “There’s my good girl.”

Those words shocked me to the core.

“Your what?” I whispered, my voice shaking and thick with tears.

“Good girl,” he repeated, and he lifted me cleanly off the bench, gathering me in his arms once more.

No one had ever called me that before.

A storm of emotion swirled inside me, unbidden and entirely untamed. I don’t know why those two words affected me so deeply from a man I hardly knew. I felt almost dumbstruck by them and the only thing I could do was bury my face into his shoulder, as if that could rescue me from my feelings deep inside.

His arms held me firmly against his chest as I struggled to stem the flow of tears that cascaded down my cheeks. His fingers slid up and down my back, offering me comfort in silence and I pressed even more closely to his chest for reasons I didn’t quite understand.

“Shhh, that’s a good girl. I’m proud of you,” he murmured, and my walled-off heart fractured the slightest bit.

It took a while, but my tears eventually stopped. He continued to murmur sweet things in my ear as I clutched at him. I lost track of time completely and focused solely on the constant beat of his heart as an indicator of its passing. His scent surrounded me and brought with it a tremendous sense of completeness that was impossible to ignore.

It was overwhelming and addictive and incredibly too perfect.

My core pulsed hard as my cries quieted and my cheeks dried. My pussy felt entirely too sensitive, and I hesitantly slid one thigh against the other, discovering that I wasn’t just a little wet. I was soaked.

Desire surged within me and my core felt rattled as though a million tiny fissures were tearing it apart. I couldn’t pretend anymore. My need was growing, and it was quickly intensifying at a speed that I wouldn’t be able to ignore for much longer.

I wouldn’t ask for that. I couldn’t.

It turned out that I didn’t need to. Without hesitation, he laid me back over his knees, but this time he used his legs to split my thighs open. I tried to close them for some semblance of protection, but I couldn’t. Not like this.

I whimpered, uncertain what his intentions were.

“It’s alright, Revna. I know what you need and I’m going to make sure you get it,” he said softly, and his fingertips grazed against the backs of my legs. It felt like he was following the welts he’d left behind and I sucked in an uncertain breath, waiting to see what he would do.

“What do I need?” I asked hesitantly.

“An omega is a special thing. When she’s dealt with properly by an alpha, she will react in kind, just like you are now,” he explained, and his touch glided even more closely to the cusp of my thighs.

“React how?” I pressed anxiously.

“Do I really need to say how, omega? I think you already know,” he mused, and his fingertips slid through the edges of my arousal and I stiffened. Without thinking, I reached back, fully intending to stop him, and his other hand caught my wrist and pinned it behind my waist. I squeaked in surprise and tried to pull it away. He didn’t let me.

“If I dip my fingers between your thighs, omega, what am I going to find?” he asked. I swallowed heavily, knowing that if I didn’t say what he wanted to hear, I’d probably earn yet another punishing round with either his belt or his hand.

There wasn’t any other choice but to answer.

“You’d find that I was wet, alpha,” I whispered, my face flaming with shame and he didn’t allow me to escape it.

“Just a little wet, omega?” he pressed.

“No,” I whimpered. He swatted my thighs hard, and I keened as it forced the marks from his belt to flare with delicious cruelty.

“No, alpha,” I quickly corrected.

“Tell me then, Revna. What exactly would I find?” he pushed.

I cried out with vicious embarrassment and his palm lay against my bottom with a silent threat.

“You’d find that I was soaking wet,” I finally managed to whisper, and I breathed a sigh of relief when his fingers returned to slip up and down my thighs.

I’d fought against this my entire life. I felt weak for giving in, but the need to take what he was giving me was too strong to ignore. People whispered talk of being fated for one person, of belonging to someone so fiercely that you’d die for one another and I’d never believed it. Right now, though, there was a flicker of understanding simmering to life deep within me and I tried to do everything in my power to ignore it.

It was at that moment that he purred for me for the first time.

The sound of it swirled around me like a raincloud, captivating me in an instant and causing my desire to implode inside me. A surge of pleasure raced through my veins, brilliant in its intensity and fiery in its implications. When he purred for me again, my core nearly collapsed in on itself and my clit pulsed heavily between my thighs.

My slick began to drip down my legs. As if he knew, his fingers caught one drop after the next. He reached around me and placed those wretched digits right in front of me.

“Open your mouth,” he instructed.

“What?” I asked, aghast at the veiled meaning behind his words. He wanted me to taste myself. I couldn’t do something like that.

“Your red little bottom isn’t the only place that can be spanked, omega,” he warned, and a soft nervous gasp escaped my lips. Where else did he mean? I couldn’t be certain, but I did know that I didn’t want to find out.

With much reluctance, I opened my mouth and his fingers slipped inside, pressing firmly against my tongue. The flavor of my own arousal was sweet at first, musky and fruity and I found that my pussy trembled with need at being forced to do so shameful a thing.

I could feel myself blushing, but that only seemed to make me wetter.

“Good girl,” he murmured again, and my inner walls convulsed at his words. “Now lick my fingers clean and I just might decide to reward you.”

I gulped anxiously, but I did as he asked. I suckled at his thick digits, ensuring to swirl my tongue around them so that I swallowed every drop of my arousal. When I was done, he pulled his fingers free and slipped them back between my thighs.

I hated that a sense of relief flooded through me at their return.

I didn’t know when my need for his touch changed. I wanted what he was offering now. I wanted it so badly that it hurt.

“Please,” I begged.

I lifted my hips, and I was ashamed that I did. I was even more embarrassed that I opened my legs and sought out his touch myself.

His fingers edged along my inner thighs, just teasing me with the rough surface of his knowing fingers. I whimpered with frustration, but that didn’t make him touch me where I really wanted him to any faster.

My clit throbbed in protest. My body wanted him.

I was reaching a point of desperation I’d never experienced before and that was so terribly frightening that I didn’t know what else to do to get what I needed.

I lifted my hips a bit higher, opened my thighs a bit wider, cried out a bit louder.

This wasn’t supposed to happen to me. I had vowed never to react to an alpha like this, but those promises felt so hollow now. I could hardly even remember why I’d fought it in the first place.

“Alpha, please…” I pleaded.

His fingers slowly dipped between my thighs as he explored me. His touch was steady and sure, forcing me to suck in a breath as sensation rattled through me at the electricity arcing between us. One rough fingertip slid just close enough to brush against my clit, and I gasped audibly as a sudden jolt of fiery pleasure raced through me. I shuddered hard, trying to grapple with the feelings of wrongness quaking through me, but they were far overshadowed by the scalding hot need that pumped through my veins. I squirmed just the slightest bit, but it only resulted in rubbing myself off on his fingers, which made me want whatever came after this even more.

He pressed more firmly against me and I bit my lower lip, trying to cope with my feelings of reluctance with having him touch me so intimately and my yearning to experience real pleasure at his hands. The more I lost myself in my thoughts, the more my bottom burned and the more intense the throbbing between my thighs became.

His finger grew more persistent, and my core tightened so hard it became difficult to breathe. The gentle sound of his purr rumbled all around me and my desire very nearly broke free. My skin buzzed and I chewed on my bottom lip. My wetness dripped down my thighs, likely onto his robes beneath me. I blushed heartily at the thought.

“You will come for me, omega,” he murmured and his other hand wound around my waist. He pinned me in place, and I knew that I wouldn’t be allowed up until I’d done as he’d commanded.

His steady fingers circled my clit more firmly now and I couldn’t prevent my body from bucking over his knee. My hips started to rise and fall of their own accord in the most shameful way. My body was reacting on instinct now and nothing I did or thought would make it stop.

Did I really have to fight it? It would be so much easier to just give into the omega raging inside of me.

It was an orgasm, not a death sentence.

I gave in, just this once, because I wanted to know what it was like.

My body quaked, and the sudden sensation of falling surrounded me. My thighs quivered and I lost all semblance of control.

I cried out and his purr deepened. My core twisted in on itself and everything within me collapsed into a world of white-hot bliss. I squeezed my eyes shut as the purest pleasure raced through my body, causing me to clench my fingers so hard that my knuckles turned white. My toes curled and my heart pounded in my chest. Every nerve seemed to fire with the most brilliant pleasure imaginable.

This was ecstasy.

I’d never experienced an orgasm before, and I was lost in every last moment of it. Ivar’s sure fingers played my body as though I was an instrument he’d long ago learned to master.

My legs wouldn’t stop shaking and my inner walls kept fluttering with need.

I moaned, the sound so shameful that I felt myself blush hard at the same time that slick poured down onto my thighs.

“That’s it, omega. I want to feel you quiver over my thighs as you come,” he demanded, and my body answered his call.

There was no stopping what came next.

As my first orgasm began to fade, the low rumble of his growl surrounded me, forcing my core to collapse in on itself with a painful twist and I cried out. He coaxed my next release to the surface and within seconds, I was ready to come again.

He growled again and my entire body started to shake. My hips rocked back and forth, grinding harder against his fingers and everything inside me burst with uncontainable passionate need.

My second orgasm was far stronger than the first and my soft moans quickly transformed into more desperate screams as I lost myself over his thighs.

His cock was so hard against me. I could feel the rock-hard iron ridges of it, and I felt the sudden craving to be thrown down on my back and used hard. I was ashamed to realize that I wanted his knot. Badly.

I writhed over his knees as I came, surrounded in an endless void of addictive bliss.

Then I came a third time.

The pleasure was almost too much to bear. In one breath, it was incredible, but as it continued to tear me apart, I soon began to wonder just how much I was going to have to take.

“Do you feel that, omega? Do you feel how hard you’re making my cock?” he asked, and a delicious tremor of pleasure catapulted through me with wild abandon.

I could feel every hard inch of him. I knew that I was turning him on as much as he was me and I gritted my teeth as anger, shame, and hot desire rushed to the surface.

His fingers pressed together, and he pinched my clit hard. I cried out as delicious agony pierced across my sensitive flesh with a ragged swiftness that left me breathless. He cleared his throat and my muscles trembled. A sliver of fear pierced through my raging emotions and I drew in a shaky breath.

“You will answer me when I ask you a question, omega,” he warned, and my pussy clenched tight in desperation.

“Yes, alpha,” I squeaked.

“As you continue to come over my knee, omega, I want you to think about how the sight of your bright red and thoroughly belted little bottom is making my cock very, very hard,” he guided, and a whimper rushed off my lips before I could stop it.

“Yes, alpha.”

My voice shook so much that I wondered if he could even understand what I was saying.

His ruthless fingers toyed with me, teasing me to the edge of another orgasm and drawing back just when I was about to fall into that pleasurable abyss once more. He taunted me for a period of time until his touch pressed finally against my clit with measured cruelty and endless kindness.

His other hand dug into my hip and he growled far more loudly than before, making me come for him by sound alone.

I shattered over his lap, caught in a vivid mixture of pleasure and pain and the addictive oblivion of somewhere in between. Every nerve in my body fired with sensation, hot and blazing and overwhelming in its intensity.

At the beginning, I’d been able to track each orgasm. I’d known where each one started and when it ended, but that was no longer possible. Instead, I lost myself in that void. He destroyed me with those fingers, again and again, and I began to scream.

Other people would probably be able to hear me.

At that point, I didn’t much care.

It didn’t take long for the balance between pleasure and pain to tip into the fiery hells of agony. Each orgasm after that felt like a knife skewering into my core, twisting tighter and tighter with each subsequent release until I lost the ability to tell up from down or left from right. My eyes rolled back in my head and he pinched my clit so hard that I saw stars.

That last orgasm splintered me into a million pieces, and I knew that I would never be the same. I knew what real pleasure felt like. I knew what a man’s hands felt like on my skin and I understood what it meant to be thoroughly put in my place by a true alpha.

I screamed. I cried and when it was finally over, I realized that there were tears streaming down my cheeks. My entire body felt numb, and I made no move to push myself up or anything because I didn’t know if I could. Everything in me relaxed as his fingers pulled away from between my thighs to pet the backs of my legs so gently that it caused delicious tremors to race up and down my spine.

I simply breathed. It was all I could do. One gasp after the next pulled air into my lungs as my heartbeat continued to run wild in my chest. My hands gripped at the edges of the bench as if my life depended on it and I slumped forward, pressing my forehead against the marble surface as I closed my eyes.

In that moment, I experienced a deep quiet. My mind wasn’t plagued by memories of guilt or fear of discovery from those that thought me a criminal. Instead, there was nothing, a beautiful transcendence that held me captive for a long time. It felt like I was soaring above it all. It was sheer freedom, and it was breathtakingly beautiful.

Neither of us said anything at all, but we didn’t need to.

As my tears dried on my cheeks, his knowing hands glided up and down my naked flesh, soothing and wonderful at the same time. They swirled around the backs of my legs and my marked bottom, until he moved to the base of my spine.

He wound his arms around my waist and lifted me so that he could see my face. In silence, he lifted my chin, and I hesitantly met his eyes, feeling more vulnerable than I’d ever felt in my life. I whimpered softly as a tiny frisson of fear brewed within me.

“You’re so very beautiful like this, omega. Even with the marks of your tears on your pretty face, your eyes are still so full of fire,” he whispered.

His kindness cut through me as deeply as his cruelty and I found that I couldn’t look away. I didn’t want to either.

“Tell me, omega, how do you feel now?” he asked, and I chewed my lip as I tried to gauge myself. I should feel furious that he’d spanked me to tears. I should be even angrier that he’d thrashed me with his belt hard enough to leave marks on the backs of my thighs, but I wasn’t. Instead, it felt as though something inside me had come alive, that there was a part of me that burned brighter and prouder after experiencing his hands on my naked skin.

“Free,” I answered finally, but it felt like so much more than that. It was as though the entirety of the world had been lifted from my shoulders.

“That is an omega’s proper place, sweet girl,” he murmured, and I could have sworn my heart swelled ten sizes larger in my chest. My throat closed and I choked just a little before I was able to get a hold of myself.

I curled my arms tentatively around his neck and hugged him close. His arms squeezed me even tighter, holding me captive in a soothing embrace that touched me so deeply that it made my heart ache.

I’d been wrong about alphas all this time. Not all of them were monsters. There were some out there like Ivar, who sought to teach and care for an omega like she was a treasured prize.

The door handle behind me rattled and it took me far too long to realize that someone was sliding a key into the lock. Ivar stood up quickly and put me down gently on the bench. His blue eyes met mine and I knew at once it was time to say goodbye.

“I won’t forget this,” I whispered.

“Good,” he answered, and I looked back at the door. It swung open and when I looked back to find Ivar, he was gone.

I was alone once again and for the first time, I didn’t want to be.

I wanted him to come back.