A Secret to Shatter by Katie O’Connor
Chapter Fifteen
They were well into the movie when Honey couldn’t resist the temptation any longer. “Do you talk to her about your injury? Did being shot scar you mentally as well as physically?”
Ira picked up the remote, hit pause, and turned toward her.
His shoulders lifted and dropped as he let out a sigh. “I thought we were finished the deep discussion.”
“Sorry. I’m just curious. I can’t imagine being shot. I’d have nightmares for years.” She’d been hit by a car in a parking lot as a kid and had night terrors for years after and the car had barely grazed her. But to be shot in the chest? Nope. No thank you. She shuddered just thinking of it.
“Weirdly, being shot didn’t give me nightmares, at least not about being shot. It probably should have. I realized what was going on, right before the first bullet hit. We were caught in a crossfire, so it wasn’t a complete surprise; which might have mitigated the mental damage. I do have the occasional nightmare which started after I woke up. They aren’t about being shot, which surprises me. Honestly, waking up from surgery and being told I was dead for three minutes was no picnic.” He chuckled awkwardly. “I think knowing I was dead might be the cause of the dreams, or maybe the things I did as a soldier. I don’t know.”
“Holy crap. Three minutes? Wow. How did that not affect you?”
He shrugged. “I was a disaster for a couple weeks. Maybe a couple months. Facing your own mortality sucks. I’m better now. Maybe because I survived. I don’t know. I talked a lot about it with the doctor I had in the city. She claims there was no lasting mental damage. At least not from being dead. From some of the other stuff I did, yeah, there are after-effects. Thankfully the dreams about what I’ve done are rare now. The guilt stays.”
“You need to forgive yourself. It’s not as if you did terrible things of your own volition. You were under orders.”
“I could have refused. Someone else would have done it in my place. Same end result.”
“Refusing wouldn’t change the outcome, which means there is no sense blaming yourself because someone else would have followed the order,” she said. “You did what you did to preserve the free world and protect it from tyranny. There’s no shame in that. None at all. Be proud of your service.” Her heart ached for him. For the things he’d seen and done. He carried an enormous burden.
Acting on impulse, she jumped up and kissed him on the cheek. “Thank you for serving, and for risking your sanity for me.”
He blinked at her and reached out to catch one of his curls between his finger and thumb.
“Get back here,” he murmured. “I think I need more of your special brand of medical treatment.”
“Indeed,” she whispered and eased herself forward until she was close enough to feel his breath. “I think I can dispense another dose. Just to be certain it is efficacious.”
“Throwing out the big words now,” he whispered and brushed his lips over hers.
Electricity and warmth shot down her spine. Her heart thundered in her ears as it pounded in her chest. Holy smokes. A wet tongue caressed her cheek.
“Ew!” She jerked back. “What the…”
Bill stood with his front paws on the couch grinning at her. “Stupid dog.”
“What the heck, Bill?” Ira chided. “Don’t go kissing my girl. What are you thinking? Some therapy dog you are.”
Bill yapped once and hopped down.
“Well, that was a mood killer for sure.” Ira glared at the dog. “Next time I’m on a date, I’m locking you up.”
A giggle started deep within Honey’s chest and bubbled forth happily. “Oh my, Bill’s one crazy dog, Ira. One of a kind for sure.”
“He’ll be none of a kind if he tries that stunt again,” Ira growled, tousling the dog’s ears.
“Save it, tough guy. Your squad mates might believe you, but I don’t. You’re a softie.”
Ira leaned back and grinned. “Indeed? Want to finish the movie before I take Corporal Buzz Kill home?”
“Might as well,” she said, trying not to sound disappointed.
His kiss had been soft and solid. It touched something inside Honey nobody had reached for a long time, if ever. Maybe due to his earlier honesty, maybe physical chemistry. Or something else entirely. No matter what, she had enjoyed the brief taste and fully intended to have another one. Soon.