A Secret to Shatter by Katie O’Connor
Chapter Two
Ira couldn’t stop himself from turning to look at the duo of waitresses when laughter rang out. The sound trickled down his spine like warm honey, heating parts of his body better left alone in public. He almost chuckled aloud at the thought when he realized it was Honey laughing. Reluctantly, he turned his attention back to Robert. To the man who had sired him.
He scanned the restaurant; except for a couple of teenagers in the opposite corner, the place was empty. Two elderly ladies had left when he and Robert came in, the teens entering right behind them. There was no fear of being overheard.
“Tell me why?” Ira said.
“Why what?” Robert’s brows creased.
Even in his head, Ira couldn’t bring himself to refer to the man before him as father. Or Dad, or by any other familial title. “Why did you leave Mom to raise me alone? Was it just that you didn’t give a shit you had another son? Did you have enough sons already?” Anger rocketed through him. How could a man just walk away from his responsibilities?
“Relax, son. It wasn’t like that.”
The man had his nerve, calling Ira, son. As if he’d ever stepped up.
“How was it, exactly?” Ira demanded, unable to bank his irritation.
“This isn’t the best place for this discussion.” Robert glanced around the café. “But if you’re going to push it. I’ll explain.” He paused and swallowed hard. “I had a serious relationship with your mother for over two years. We didn’t see each other often. It was hard for me to get away from the ranch and harder for her to get away from work. Her career as a lawyer required a lot of time and effort. Back then, a woman had to work twice as hard to keep up with a man.” He fixed Ira with a serious stare. “Don’t get me wrong. I cared deeply for your mother. But when she broke it off with me, I couldn’t disagree with her logic.”
Robert sipped his coffee and looked around again before continuing. “There was no way I was moving to the city. The rancher in me would have withered and died. I would never ask her to give up her dream career to move here. Our life plans simply didn’t mesh. We broke off our relationship amicably.”
“And when did you find out about me?” Ira asked, wishing his voice wasn’t shaking.
“Catalina, your mom, called me when she was four months pregnant. She said the child she carried was mine. I believed her. I had no reason to doubt her.”
“Why didn’t you step up?” Ira demanded, keeping his voice low. How could his mother have respected a man who let a woman go through pregnancy alone?
“I swear to you, on my ranch and my children, including you, I offered to be a real father. We fought for months. That’s how long it took her to agree to let me support you financially. She didn’t want me in your life beyond that. Said it would ruin your life and would destroy my family. She was wrong. I’d have given anything to be a proper father to you. I’d have taken you in, brought you here to live with me and my other sons.”
“Why didn’t you?” This whole story sounded like a load of hogwash. Ira was determined to get to the bottom of it and to figure out how and why his mother had anything to do with this man.
“Your mother would not move here. I’m a damned rancher. I’m not fit for any other kind of work. It’s all I know. I’m country, Catalina was all city. We’d only have made each other miserable. We settled. I bowed to her opinion that you would suffer without a mother. I was an idiot. In hindsight, it was a stupid damned decision. But I don’t have a time machine to go back and change it. We did what we thought best. I bowed to Catalina’s wishes and stayed away. In return, she accepted my monthly support payments and sent me pictures and videos of you.”
“And that was enough for you?” Ira couldn’t keep the derision from his voice.
“Not by a long shot. Every time I went to the city, I parked outside your school and waited for a chance to see you, just a glimpse. I was a damned fool to agree with your mother but I can’t change it now. Nor could I talk her into changing things once we had an agreement. Believe me, I tried. Now, all I can ask is for you to forgive me and join the family. Be part of our lives.” Robert’s voice wobbled. He snatched up his coffee and downed what was left in his mug.
Ira didn’t know what to say. Forgiveness wasn’t easy, even if his mother’s dying wish was for Ira to find his father and get to know him. For his entire life, she’d told him his father was dead. Ira believed her. Until her deathbed confession. She’d told him cancer was an ugly way to go and made you re-evaluate your entire life. She’d left him copies of every letter she’d sent Robert, and all of his replies. There was a bank account containing every penny Robert had sent them, plus interest. He’d contributed until the month Ira left home to join the military. His mother hadn’t spent any of it. Not one dollar.
“Does your family know about me?”
“Sue, my second wife, does. The rest are still in the dark. They’ll accept you. I’ll guarantee it.”
Ira faked a laugh. “Right. Just like that.” A thought hit him. “Were you married when you were with my mother?” He asked, even though he was certain his mother would never date a married man. But at this point, he wasn’t certain Robert wouldn’t have lied to her.
“No!” Robert slammed his fist on the table for emphasis. “What kind of man do you think I am?” His face turned red.
“I have no freaking idea, to be honest. I know nothing about you. Nothing but notes written by a woman who never got over you. Did you know she never dated? Not once that I was aware of.”
“I had no idea,” Robert murmured. “I promise you; I was not in a relationship of any sort while I dated Catalina. My first wife, Eileen, had already passed and I hadn’t started seeing Sue. I was true to your mother the entire time we dated.” His words rang with honesty.
“Here’s your lunch,” Honey called out from three tables away as she walked toward them. “A burger for you and fruit for you.” She set the plates in front of them. “I’ll be right back with more coffee.”
The diversion gave Ira time to think, to consider Robert’s words and reputation. In the months Ira had been in town, he’d learned Robert’s word was above reproach, and the man certainly seemed upfront. He was well respected. He and his entire family were pillars of society here and helped out with all the community events. Maybe he wasn’t totally dishonorable.
Honey returned with coffee and Ira watched her walk away after pouring. She was a pretty woman. Happy smile, bright green eyes, slender but with enough curves to turn a man’s head. She was a distraction he didn’t need. He needed to settle with Robert, and start a new life outside the military. He didn’t need the money, but he wanted, needed, to be useful. To contribute to society.
“You should date her.” Robert said. “None of my other boys are interested, but Honey’s a great gal. You’ll like her. Everyone does.”
Ira considered the idea instead of rejecting it out of hand as he might have just days before. He was a man on a mission, but nothing said he had to spend all his time alone. It would probably be nice to have someone to spend his evenings with.
“You found a job yet?” Robert asked.
“Not yet, still looking.” The trouble was not many people had a job for an out of work grunt soldier with a bullet damaged heart.
“I told you, I need help on the ranch. Come join me and my boys. Take your rightful place in the family and in your inheritance. We could use a good strong back and another brain. There’s even a cabin on our land you can live in. It’s not fancy, but it’s clean.”
The offer was a good one, and it wasn’t the first time Robert had made it. Over the past months they’d met half a dozen times. Today was the first time Ira had mustered the courage to ask the hard questions.
“When are you planning to tell your family?” Ira asked. “I think we should do it now. No sense putting off a task just because it doesn’t sit well. Quite the opposite. Better swallow the bitter pill without delay. It doesn’t matter what level of security clearance you slap on something; the truth always comes out. The longer a secret simmers; the uglier it seems and this one’s been at full boil for a long time. Too long.”
“Let them get to know you first. Then we’ll tell them about my sordid past.”
Sordid past? Was he kidding?First, he claims there was a serious relationship between Robert and Ira’s mother, now it was sordid? Anger wracked Ira. He banked it down for the time being, hoping the phrasing was a slip of the tongue and not his actual attitude. Because if that was Robert’s attitude, it needed a serious adjustment and Ira was just the man to do it.
That aside, they really should tell the family upfront. Ira didn’t want to step in on the ranch work without the rest of the family knowing who he was. He didn’t want to stir up a hornet’s nest. “I think not telling them upfront is a mistake. They deserve to know the truth.”
“And they will, when I’m damn good and ready. I’ve talked to Sue. She agrees, waiting won’t hurt anything. And we’ll do it one weekend when Beth is home from university. They all deserve to hear the truth in person, not through the grapevine. Hell, working for me might help. Introduce you once you’ve proved your worth.”
“Proved my worth? Are you implying I’m not good enough to be a Flint?” Snotty bastard. So much for being honorable. Ira rolled his shoulders to loosen the tension gathering at the base of his neck.
“Don’t put words into my mouth, boy. You’re my blood and entitled to your share. I’m just saying…” Robert yanked off his cowboy hat and scrubbed his hand over his face. “I’m saying my kids, all eight of them, are going to be hurt by this secret, and having them get to know you might ease the pain. But what the hell do I know, this is the first time I’ve had to reveal one of my deepest secrets.
One of his deepest secrets?Implying there was more than one. Strange.
“Fine.” Ira picked up his fork. “We’ll do it your way. For now. But I’m not hiding for long. I’m not starting out my life here with lies. I believe in truth.”
“As do I, boy. As do I.” Robert stabbed at a grape. It popped out of his bowl and flew across the room, landing on the floor with a wet thud. “Damned fruit. No grown man should have to eat the stuff.”
“Why are you eating it?”
“Damned wife. Won’t let me have my sweets. Cardiologist says I have to drop weight and eat better. Sue won’t let anyone feed me properly. One stupid heart attack and the whole town’s turned into one big conspiracy against feeding me decent food. Even the couple running the new German deli are in on it. Won’t sell me a single bratwurst.”
“Is your heart trouble why you’re taking me on as ranch hand?”
“Dammit, Ira, get that chip off your shoulder. No. It is not why I’m taking you on. You’re my son. You have a right to be there, to take your place in the family, on our ranch. Don’t you ever doubt it. I may not know you, but I love you as much as my other kids.” His voice was gruff.
Wow! Rough guy rancher, Robert Flint, confessing love. The declaration reached inside Ira and touched something, bringing feelings he didn’t know he had to the surface. Rather than respond to the awkward admission, he changed the subject.
“You should know that my heart is damaged. Not badly enough to prevent a normal life, but too much for the military to keep me on.”
Robert’s eyes widened and he frowned. “What kind of damage? Is it genetic?”
“I was shot twice in the chest. One bullet nicked my heart. The diagnosis was no permanent damage once I recovered from surgery. I will live a normal life. I’m one hundred percent healed, but the army booted me out anyway.” He tried to bank the anger in his voice without much success. It still pissed him off that one little defect and suddenly Ira Castillo, grunt soldier and sniper, was unfit for duty. His personal heart surgeon said otherwise, but nobody bucked the army. He’d been a damned good soldier until his unit had got caught in the crossfire between rival factions in the Sinai Peninsula of Egypt. Their small operation had taken way too much damage and had been pulled out shortly after Ira was shot.
“Well, if you’re fit for work, I don’t see any problem. It takes a tough back to be a rancher. You look strong enough. Tell me if you experience any trouble. I can always put you to work fixing equipment or doing accounting. One thing about ranching, there’s plenty of work to go around.”
“In that case, I’d like to come work for you.” A quiver of unease at the deception they planned lingered, but the decision was made. They discussed Ira’s wage and came to an agreement.
Robert set down his fork and thrust out his hand. “Welcome to the family, Ira. Good to finally be part of your life.”
Ira shook solemnly, recognizing the emotion behind the declaration. “Glad to be here.” His words were heartfelt. It was good to belong somewhere again.