Capturing the Governess’s Heart by Sally Forbes
Chapter Twenty Eight
The days following Emma’s departure dragged by for Robert miserably slowly. And he knew it was the same for Abigail and Henry. Perhaps even worse, he thought, for they had lost their parents so recently and Emma had brought them slowly back to life. Now, they have lost her too, at least for the time being. And she might never return.
Certainly, his mother would be pleased if she did not return. She seemed to have no feeling at all as to what her loss meant to the children. He wondered how she could be so cold and unfeeling.
He had tried to spend as much time with the children as he could, sharing the fact he was missing Miss Emma’s bright company too, and listening to them talk about how happy she had made them. They bonded in their mutual sorrow, agreeing that the house did not seem the same without her. It felt cold and depressing.
In an effort to keep them busy, Robert rode out with them each morning and took them over to Elsby’s as often as possible. Theo was happy to see them. He and Robert supervised Henry’s fencing lessons, and Abigail brought her sketch book and kept herself occupied with making lovely drawings of the landscapes, which she said she intended to send to Miss Emma.
In fact, both children had already written letters ready to send to their governess, which they added to daily, enclosing any little objects they thought she would find interesting.
The only thing that consoled them was the thought that she was suffering more than they were, and they prayed each morning and night for Mr. Fletcher’s recovery.
When he had time to reflect, which as far too often, Robert felt guilt for done having done anything practical to help Emma in the situation she was in. She had confided in him the family’s precarious financial position, how she had discovered her father’s investment losses and sought work as a governess to support him and her younger sister.
How valiant she is, he thought, making such a sacrifice when she could have simply stayed at home until the money ran out, letting them all suffer. He compared her to Lady Beatrice, who did not come out of it at all well.
And now this wonderful woman, this kind and loving person, had been taken away from them just as she had made herself indispensable to their hearts. He berated himself further for not having done more to protect Emma from his mother and Lady Beatrice. He should have made sure she felt comfortable and secure in the house rather than letting his mother treat her so badly.
His mother had talked incessantly about him marrying Lady Beatrice since Emma had first arrived, and Emma had no reason not to believe it was true. And the two women had behaved horribly to her the entire time, probably making her believe she would be dismissed if it happened. Had that been the sadness he had seen in her eyes that night in the garden? Oh, what an idiot he was!
One thing puzzled him greatly. What was it his mother had against Emma? She claimed it was because he needed a wife to help him raise the children. But it was perfectly normal for parents to employ governesses to educate and care for their children, so her objection held no water. If he had employed another governess, would the old lady have behaved differently? His mother was a stickler as an employer, to be sure, but he had never witnessed her maltreating any other servant as she had treated Emma. And she showed no remorse at all. It seemed almost personal, and it puzzled him greatly, as he now realized it must have puzzled and tormented Emma.
He and his mother had avoided each other since the day Emma had gone when she had tried to force him to escort Lady Beatrice to Hyde Park. They had not exchanged so much as a word.
She wouldn’t even look at him, and it suited him just fine. He was glad to be free of her commands and machinations for a while. That is another thing. Why did she have such a bee in her bonnet about Lady Beatrice? What was so special about her?
His mother’s sudden rush to marry him off was also perplexing. A man, a duke at that, could never be too old to get married, surely, so what was she about? He had merely wanted to take his time, to marry only when he met the right lady, someone as sweet as Emma. She would make any man an excellent wife and be a wonderful mother to his children. The workings of his mother’s mind were a complete mystery to him in these matters. As he evidently was to her.
Relief came only on the seventh day since Emma’s departure when a letter arrived from her. Hughes brought it to him in his study, and as soon as the butler had gone, he tore it open, pulling out the letter in his haste to read what she had to say.
Your Grace,
I know this letter will reach you some days after my departure, and I apologize for that, but the delay cannot be helped because of the great distance between us. Mr. Hughes will have explained the circumstances of my having to leave so hastily without talking to you first. I apologize for having done so, but I am sure you can appreciate the urgency of the matter.
The fact is that my father was suddenly taken ill about a week before I left Dalwater Manor. His heart suffered some attack that left him gravely ill and, my sister and I fear, close to death. A local doctor is treating him, but his condition is not improving. However, there is some hope for a recovery, it seems, and we have been advised to have a specialist in heart problems see him.
However, as you know, our financial position is not a strong one, so we have been obliged to put that off for the time being. Bearing that in mind and being unable to say if I shall be able to return to my position at Dalwater at present, I must therefore ask you if you would be so kind as to consider forwarding any outstanding wages to me at your earliest convenience. That would assist us greatly in paying the medical bills until I can find employment locally to provide a steady income. I would be very grateful if you could see your way to arranging that for me.
I am greatly concerned about the children’s welfare in my absence, and I hope sincerely that it will not be too long before I see them again. I miss them terribly, as I have come to care for them very much. I beg you to ensure that Henry is encouraged in his outdoor activities and his arithmetic practice. He shows great promise.
Your Grace, please pay special attention to Miss Abigail. Though a joyous occasion, her birthday and coming out of the party were also a sad reminder that she lost her parents a mere twelve months ago. Therefore, it has been a bittersweet time for her.
Both the children look up to you, as you are a great example of kindness to them. I beg you again to give them as much support as possible through the kind and gentle reassurance and encouragement. I should like your permission to write to them while I am away, so they know I miss them and am thinking of them daily.
I hope to let you know my position regarding my return to your employer within the next week if that is your wish and you are kind enough to allow me that time. In the interim, I would like to thank you for your many kindnesses to me while I was at Dalwater. They are much appreciated and treasured.
May God bless you and keep you all safe,
Your affectionate servant,
Miss Emma Fletcher.
Later that evening, the family dined together. He had allowed the children into his study to read the letter from Emma. There had been tears, but he thought it best they know the facts of the situation and that it would be as a comfort to read of their beloved governesses' concern and care for them while she was away, despite her own troubles. It seemed to have reassured them somewhat, and they had finished their letters to her to be posted in the morning. Being able to do something to bridge the distance between them and Emma had seemed to provide some sense of reassurance that all was not lost.
He had also decided he would read to Henry in the evenings while she was away, as he knew Emma would want him to do. Henry had seemed pleased by that.
Dinner was a silent, lifeless affair, with barely a word exchanged between them. His mother was like a dark shadow hanging over them, seeming to care nothing for the children’s feelings at all.
He and the children had met in the drawing room afterwards to play cards and agreed that Miss Emma’s smile and sweet presence was greatly missed at table.
That night, Robert found himself restless and unable to sleep, as had so often happened since Emma had been gone. He got up, dressed himself, and went out into the garden for a cigar. He found himself inevitably drawn to the bench where they had sat together and almost kissed. How he wished they had. Things might be very different now. It made his heart, what was left of it, ache to think of the lost opportunity. I want her by my side, he thought. He allowed himself to imagine them being married, but it was difficult. Marriage was still a hard thing for him to consider.
Isabel had hurt him so much, broken his heart and made him into a fool. Even for a woman as sweet and loving as Emma, he didn’t know if he could ever get over that.
