The Half-Class by Kayvion Lewis

Chapter Thirty-Two

Cass helped me slip away in the morning. I hadn’t been ordered to stay beyond the night, but we hadn’t asked either. Part of me felt guilty for possibly putting him in an even worse position with his father, but the stronger part of me needed to get out of the castle.

My stomach clenched as my carriage neared the barn. News had probably reached almost every corner of our rebellion now. It surely had found its way to Saddy, and likely Gilow and Jace by extension. It would be a somber day, yet here I was, returning home in a royal carriage and a new dress. I felt like a fraud. Like I was spitting in Richal and Brison’s faces.

The carriage stopped, and the first of the drivers opened the door. As I stepped out into the street, I felt the heaviness in the air.

The sky was dimmer, and the streets were a little muddier. The people were a little quieter. It felt as if the whole city was mourning with me.

After the driver helped me down in my ridiculously nice day dress, he reached inside the carriage and retrieved my purple gown. I’d gotten to keep it after all.

Neither Kat nor Auntie opened the door for us, but Albo instead. He disappeared soon after. I told the driver to leave the gown on one of the sofas. He did so with haste, then nodded to me before leaving. I slid the door shut and carried myself back to the apartment and up to Kat and I’s room. It was still early, so I expected Kat to be asleep, but she wasn’t there. I couldn’t find Auntie either. I was alone.

I decided to free myself of this day dress, desiring nothing more than to put on a pair of pants and a chemise. Then, before I forgot, I made my way back down to the floor and rummaged through my purple gown until I found the hidden pocket and the folded map. I could have tucked it away into a drawer for later, but I wasn’t comfortable letting it leave my person again. It was the only thing that made that horrible night worth something.

I slipped the map into one of my boots.

The emptiness of the barn squeezed me like the walls were getting closer by the second. It wasn’t like I could go anywhere. I was stuck there.

I wished I wasn’t alone. I wished someone were there to talk to me. Auntie, Kat, Luke. Cass.

Well, there was Albo.

I strode back across the barn and back into the apartment. As I flew up the steps, I found myself hoping more desperately than ever that I’d find him tucked away in my hiding spot. I pulled the secret door open, content to see that he was.

Albo sat with his legs dangling over the ledge. The crisp smell of his cigar hit me before I saw a single puff of smoke.

“You’re back late,” he said. His cigar crackled as more of the paper burned into ash. “Or should I say early?”

I took a seat next to him, crisscrossing my legs right at the edge.

He glanced over me for a brief second before turning his gaze back to the desolate floor. “You look awful.”

“You’re one to talk.” His mess of hair was looking extra unkempt today. Probably since he hadn’t had to go outside in at least two days.

“I don’t have any boys to impress.” He took a drag. “Let alone two.”

I chuckled. He didn’t give a damn at all, did he? At least, not about my problems. I eyed the handful of cigars at his side. “Do those make anything better?”

“Find out.” He lifted one to me. With no inclination to object, I brought it to my lips as Albo lifted his candle’s flame to the other end. The tail crackled and burned away as I took my first puff.

Smoke stuffed my lungs and shaking up a dozen coughs from me. I wheezed, trying to draw any air into my lungs, then fell back into a coughing fit. A cloud of thin grey spewed from my mouth. I shook my head as if I could shake away the tickle in my chest.

Albo smirked and took a drag like it was the easiest thing in the world. “Well, do you feel better?”

“I feel different, so it must be better.” I took another puff. Already it was easier. I only coughed a half-dozen or so times as the smoke clawed its way up my throat. I fanned away the smoke lingering in front of me. “Auntie told me, you know. The other day.”

“To stay away from cigars?”

“About your father.”

Albo took another drag and slowly let the smoke slip from his mouth. “Is that why you came up here? To talk about our family then?”

“Not at all. I’m a selfish girl. I came up here to talk about me.”

We sat in silence for a moment, taking matching drags. Albo’s cigar burned out soon, and he quickly lit another. “Then say whatever you need to say, little cousin.”

I sighed, embracing the irritation in my chest. Even now that we were family, I suspected Albo cared the least out of anyone I could tell about my ever-complicating life. If anything, I’d understand if he hated me and Kat. Why would Auntie Jen raise us, who weren’t even her own children, but not him? For whatever reason, I knew he couldn’t care less about my problems, which somehow made him the best person to tell.

So, without any restraint, I took Albo through my entire tale. From the raid that drew the king here, to my assignment with Cass, all the way to last night’s events. I laid everything out, feeling surprisingly blasé. I even told him about Luke’s proposal and my growing discontentment with him, the officer Richal killed on the trail, and what the king had made us do to him and his brother, which I described in numbing detail.

Albo remained neutral through it all, not flinching or reacting to anything. He only took occasional drags as I went on.

“I don’t know what to do now.” I pressed the butt of my well-burnt cigar into the ledge floor. “Not that I ever did. I feel like my whole life’s been a series of obedience and indecisiveness. But I didn’t think things were going to get this bad. Not this quickly.”

“Leave.”

I frowned. “Leave?”

“Sounds to me like you don’t want to deal with any of this anymore. You don’t want to marry Luke. You don’t want to work here forever. You seemingly don’t want to work with Gilow anymore.” He tapped his cigar. “Who could blame you for that last one. He and his friends sound insane.”

“I never said I didn’t want to work with them anymore. I do. I’ve wanted to from the day I joined them.”

“No, Evie. You want better. Take it from me, you’re not going to get it the way they’re doing things. Not the kind of better you want, at least. I spent most of my life in Ryland, and I’ve seen more than a couple rebel groups try to do things his way. They always fail.”

Maybe, but this was different. We were different. “How many of them had a girl in the king’s court?” I asked, quite matter-of-factly.

He pinched the bridge of his nose, the first mild reaction I’d gotten from him yet. “Do what you want, Evie. But if you ask me, your best option is right in front of you.”

“And what’s that?”

“Leave—with the prince. You said he loves you. Shouldn’t be hard for you to get him to offer you a real mistresship. So, take it and leave. Forget about Gilow and his crap and go live in the palace. Drink tea and wear diamonds and spend your nights with someone you actually like. That’s what you really want, isn’t it?”

“No!” I didn’t mean to shout. “I can’t leave Bexbury and abandon everyone here.”

“Sure you can. You just have to decide to.” Albo’s dark eyes centered sternly on mine. “Camaraderie and ‘family’ sounds great in the storybooks, but it doesn’t mean anything in real life. In the real world, you gotta do what’s best for you. Even if it screws somebody else over.” He threw his now dead cigar to the side. “That’s the only good lesson my parents ever taught me.”

I sat silently next to Albo. Abandoning the rebellion, my family, I wouldn’t do it. I couldn’t. Maybe Albo didn’t care about the problems facing us, but I did. And I wanted to stop them.

Still, as ashamed as it made me, I couldn’t ignore the levity his option had brought. He showed me a new, illustrious door. One that promised a good, perhaps even happy life for myself with Cass. I’d never walk through that door, never ever. But knowing it was there felt really good.

Hours passed, and Albo and I had long since migrated to the kitchen. I leaned against the counter while he lazily poured a jar of broth in the pot bubbling over the stove fire, paying no attention to the measurements.

“Do you ever actually try when you’re cooking for the barn?”

“Not at all.” He tossed the jar aside. “Baking is my forte. There’s nuance to it. Cooking is just throwing things in a pot.”

The sound of the barn door slamming shut echoed into the kitchen. Before I could truly register it, a pair of boots stormed into the hallway. Another pair trailed behind them. I jumped down from the counter just as Kat barged into the kitchen. She almost stormed right past us.

“You!” She set her fiery eyes on me. Auntie hurried in behind her, stopping to catch herself at the doorway. She reached for Kat.

“How could you?” Kat pushed Auntie back and stopped right in front of me. Her eyes were puffy and red-shot. A new collection of tears threatened to rain down from them. “He was only thirteen.”

My whole body felt stiff. “How did you—"

“I was there when those officers brought them back. Luke and I were coming back from the manor. We had to hide in the stable while the officers told Saddy how the king and their guests decided to let them off easy. You did it, didn’t you? You and the rest of them?”

“Kat, you weren’t there,” I said. “You don’t understand.”

“No, Evie,” she shook her head. “I don’t understand you. Not anymore. Luke was right. They’re really starting to sway you, aren’t they?”

My throat felt dry. “Luke said that?”

“You wouldn’t know, would you? You don’t see him anyway. But you don’t care. He’s just a tool, isn’t he? Your escape from having to live anything less than the decent domestic life you deserve. Heaven forbid you have to work like a whore like the rest of us. No, the great Evelyn is too good for that.”

“That’s—” My voice grew weak. “I never—that’s not true!”

“After all this lying, I thought you’d be better at by now.” Fury burned past her tears. “You don’t deserve him. You don’t deserve anything.” Kat sniffled, then turned and ran out of the kitchen. I didn’t think she would turn on me like this. She didn’t even give me a chance to explain. But I didn’t expect a lot of things.

I didn’t deserve anything.No, I deserved exactly what I was feeling now—shame.

“Is that where you were? At Saddy’s?” I asked Auntie Jen, blinking to keep tears from falling. “How are they?”

“How do you think?” She averted her eyes and gripped the doorframe.

No. Not Auntie too.

A sob climbed up my throat. “Are—are you angry with me? Do you want me to leave?”

“And go where?” Auntie sighed and turned around. “Like I always say, I don’t care what you do. But that sure as hell doesn’t mean I’m proud of it.”

I choked down the sobs threatening to explode from my mouth. How foolish—I’d actually wanted my cousin and my Auntie. Little did I know I’d lost them last night too.

“Saddy and the boys are leaving. We were helping them get their stuff together. Don’t know where they’re going, but they won’t be back.” She wiped her face. “I need to rest.” Showing more age than she had in years, Auntie shuffled away, moving as if every limb weighed on her. Again, I was alone with the only remaining relative that would speak to me. His spoon scraped the bottom of the pot as he kept stirring, completely unphased by anything that just happened.

I wiped away the pair of tears that had slipped from my eyes and leaned back on the counter. “Tell me more about your aversion to proper cooking Albo,” I said, taking a note from him and trying not to care.