The Half-Class by Kayvion Lewis
Chapter Five
“I’m sorry, Evie,” Kat said. “You should have woken me up. I would have gone instead.”
“It’s fine.” I folded my arms over the kitchen table and dropped my head into them. The warmth from the oven radiated across the room. The scent of chicken seasoned with pepper and parsley filled the kitchen. “I would have seen them eventually anyway. At least I got to see Luke.” I fidgeted, remembering Luke’s attempt to kiss me. I hadn’t mentioned that part to Kat.
Kat narrowed her eyes and took another bite from her pastry, one of the few left over from last night. I’d gotten back from my outing hours ago, but Kat, nips of hair slipping out of her silky blonde braid and the ribbons of her nightgown unraveling at the shoulders, had only just woken up. It wasn’t fair for her to be so beautiful, even with sleep clinging to her pale lashes.
“He didn’t come in, did he?” Kat looked around like Luke would suddenly appear in a random corner. “Tell me he didn’t come in. If he did, and you still didn’t wake me up—”
“No, he wasn’t here. He just bought the sheets for me. I’m sure he would have carried them back for me if I asked, though.”
“Hmm.” Kat leaned back and took another. Golden flakes of bread flittered down to her lap.
I sat up. “What?”
She shook her head. “Nothing.”
“No, it’s something. What is it?”
She swallowed, staring me down, then laid the half-eaten tart over a layer of crumbs on the table. Kat laced her fingers under her chin. “I don’t think it’s fair what you’re doing with him.”
“And what am I doing with him?”
“You know.”
“No, I really don’t.” I’d never mentioned “doing anything” with Luke before. There was nothing to mention.
Her eyes cut into me. “You’re stringing him along, Evie.”
I sputtered. “I am not,”
“Yes, you are. Luke’s been holding a torch for you for at least a year now, and you haven’t done anything to remedy that.”
I crossed my arms tight against my chest. “I haven’t noticed.”
“Only a fool wouldn’t notice. It’s pretty obvious. And if anyone can tell when a man is interested in them, it should be us.”
I bit my lip and shrugged. “So, what if he is? What’s so bad about being somebody’s fancy? Somebody who might want me for something besides my body.”
She ignored the jab. “Nothing—if you wanted him back. But you don’t, do you?”
I opened my mouth, but nothing came out.
“I didn’t think so,” she said. “You haven’t done anything to stifle his feelings. I know you, Evelyn. You’re keeping him around as your backup plan in case you decide you don’t want to do this.” She waved her hand around the room. “I don’t know Luke that well, but he sounds like a good person. He doesn’t deserve to be swindled into a marriage with a girl who doesn’t feel the same way as he does.”
“Maybe I do feel the same way.” Maybe I just didn’t realize it yet…
Kat rolled her eyes. “Sure.” She rose from the table, swiping up the remaining half of her pastry. Was she angry? That wasn’t fair. She didn’t understand my options, which were substantially fewer than hers. How could she fault me for considering every one presented to me?
I jolted up. The chair legs scraped across the floor. “Even if I were ‘stringing Luke along,’ or whatever you’re trying to accuse me of, how is that any different from what you do every night? You trade companionship for the means of survival. They sound pretty similar to me.”
“That’s different, and you know it.”
“How so?”
“Because that is a transaction, nothing more. This is someone’s heart.”
“You care about Luke’s heart, but not mine?” My voice cracked. “Because I think doing this, here, might break mine.”
Kat’s entire body relaxed. She strode back to me and wrapped her arms around me. My vision blurred.
“I know this profession seems awful and intimidating—wrong even. It’s not for everyone. ” Kat said as she pulled back, keeping her hands clasped on my shoulders. “This is what we’ve got, like it or not. Maybe one day you and Gilow and all the rest can change that, but right now...this is it. The sooner you accept that, the better.”
All we have? No, this was all I had. Kat chose this; I was stuck.
Stuck like all the other half-class girls with no other job prospects. Considering Luke as a way out was cruel and maybe a bit heartless. But I couldn’t give it up. Not when only this was left.
“I know Katalin.” I sniffled. “I’ll get past it.”
One way or another.