I Hated You First by Rachel John
Clay
“I want you to be an owner with Lauren and Parker.” The words registered over and over in my mind while I inwardly panicked over the timing. Trying to read John’s body language didn’t help. The man had always been unflappable. Unless he was yelling. Right now, I couldn’t tell if he was happy to share the news with me or just resigned to it.
“What does that mean, exactly?” I picked at the oil in the crease of my fingernail. I should be thanking him, but all I wanted was to know when this had been decided, and by whom. Was this why Lauren had come back from the office and avoided my eyes? She knew. She knew, and she hadn’t said anything.
A flash of irritation mixed with attraction flooded over me. That woman. She was trouble, the sort of trouble that would keep me on my toes for years to come. Well, if we didn’t go down in a blaze of glory. How could I share ownership with her and not disclose we were dating? I was standing in front of her father.
I was standing in front of her father. At that moment, I couldn’t even look him in the eyes, knowing what he would do to me if he knew about us.
“What it means is you’ll get a share just like Lauren and Parker. I want you to know they’re both on board with this. We know this company means just as much to you as it does to us.”
“Thank you, sir.” I’d probably have to turn him down, but I just couldn’t yet. I needed to think. I needed to talk to Lauren and find out what exactly had happened and what the two of us were supposed to do about it.
But that conversation would have to wait. I sat there patiently while John pulled out paperwork and figures and talked about the details and his future plans for the company. We talked about equipment purchases and the cap he’d put on spending, mostly because of Parker, although he didn’t outright say it. Ownership would officially seal the end of Parker’s secret purchases. Lauren would be thrilled.
“So, Lauren and Parker will be here any minute, along with Barry, who is creating the contracts.”
“They will?” I jumped to my feet, realizing this meeting was a precursor to an ownership meeting I hadn’t given much thought to, except as part of Lauren’s schedule. Now it was part of mine, and I hadn’t even decided if I wanted this, and more importantly, if I could even have it.
“Where are you going?” John asked.
“The bathroom. Sorry. I’ll be right back.” I dashed out of there and turned the corner, only to almost run Lauren over. I put my arms out to keep her from falling back, and they naturally threaded around her waist of their own accord, resting on the small of her back. At least, until my brain caught up and registered that Parker was standing right next to us, staring.
I drew my arms back and looked away. “Sorry. Just running to the bathroom.” Darting around them, I locked myself in the tiny office bathroom and went into full-on panic mode.
I finally understood how Lauren had felt when faced with big decisions and paperwork that would make it binding. This was all too much. Wasn’t it?
The stress began to ebb a little, making room for excitement. I was finally a part of them, the Harwood family. They wanted me to help take the business into the future, something I’d always wanted to do. I had been so focused on Lauren, I’d forgotten everything else about my future. Yes, we’d have to tell them we were dating, but our relationship was so new, it didn’t have to be now. We’d figure out the right time to speak up.
I washed my hands and splashed water on my face, drying it off on a scratchy paper towel and then quickly fixing my hair, which instead of looking strategically messy, was giving off a crazed stress-case vibe. Taking a deep breath, I walked out with confidence I didn’t quite feel and returned to John’s office.
They had borrowed a few chairs from the conference room while I’d been gone, and I took a seat between Parker and Lauren. Barry, the accountant, was sitting by the window.
“How are you feeling?” John asked.
“I’m a little freaked out, to be honest.”
Everyone laughed, though there was a nervous edge to it. I didn’t dare look at either Parker or Lauren. John smiledlike he understood my position. He had no idea.
“We’re all friends here, and I’d like to say we knew exactly what we were doing from the beginning, but there are about a hundred ways to go about a business hand-off, and some are better than others. Am I right, Barry?”
Barry looked up from his computer. “Yes. But we’re going to come up with the best transfer plan for everybody with clear steps until John is eventually phased out of the daily operations. You know, when he’s a hundred and five and can’t drive his motorized scooter in here anymore.”
John looked a lot less amused than the joke called for, and Barry went back to studying his computer, saying, “Go ahead, John. I’ll stop you when anything needs a further explanation.”
That was all the introduction John needed. “Right, well, let’s talk about the business shares.”
“GRATs,” Barry clarified. “Grantor retained annuity trusts. It’s better than annual gifting. There are more fees involved, but less taxes paid.”
Parker had about a hundred follow-up questions, while Lauren and I did our best not to look at each other. Her fidgety hands told me everything I needed to know. She was as nervous as I was.
“Parker, I know you feel like we’ve already hashed this out, but it needs to be brought up again. The four-wheeler purchase. Even if you had found them at a good deal and they were one-hundred percent for the company and not personal use, that’s a unilateral decision to branch out into power sport rentals like RVs and boats and recreational vehicles. We don’t do that. Our customer base is completely different.”
Parker scowled. “I get it. I was wrong on multiple levels.”
“I’m just saying. If Lauren hadn’t mentioned it to me, when exactly were you going to tell me about it?”
Parker sat up. “Wait, Lauren told you about the four-wheelers?”
Lauren’s face turned three shades of guilty, and she shot me an apologetic look, one Parker caught. This was just getting better and better.
Parker didn’t look angry anymore, he looked contemplative. He stared from Lauren to me and then back to Lauren. “The four wheelers are in Clay’s garage. He and I were the only ones who knew about them.”
“You used a company credit card,” Lauren shot back, but her face, which had never told a lie, was betraying her in bright, red, hyper color. Her eyes darted to mine again. Now was not the time to look to me for comfort.
Parker shot from his chair and stared me down. “You told her about the four wheelers. That blonde hair on your shoulder on Sunday morning was hers, wasn’t it? And I swear I saw Lauren’s truck down the street from your house the other night, when you were supposedly off doing errands for your grandparents. You’ve been doing a lot of errands lately. The cookies!” Parker swung around and pointed back at Lauren. “You were there that night, weren’t you?”
“Will someone please tell me what is going on?” John banged on his desk, and Parker whirled around to face him.
“Lauren and Clay are secretly dating.”
It suddenly got really quiet. Barry shut his computer with a snap and stood. “John, I’m gonna go. Call me later.” The man sent me a look of quiet empathy before walking out the door and closing it behind him.
This was not going to end well. Not that I regretted any of it except for the timing. I made the mistake of conveying my lack of regret to Lauren in one brief smoldering look. I needed her to know I didn’t blame her. Her terrible lack of deceit was one of the things I liked best about her. She raised her eyebrows back at me like I’d lost my mind. Maybe I had.
We were interrupted by John smacking his desk again. “What exactly has been going on between you two?”
“That’s why she didn’t want to sign a no-dating policy. She was already breaking it.” Parker stared at us, suddenly looking suspicious. “And Lauren was the one who suggested we add Clay as an owner. It was her idea. How exactly did that come about?”
Just like that, the temperature in the room dropped fifty degrees.
John locked eyes with me. I felt all his mistrust and all the insinuations Parker was making. And it hurt. A lot. It was rejection. And not belonging. And feeling like a guest in your own house. This was my work home and they were my family. I was safe here. Or so I’d thought. I could take anger, and I could take surprise. But this… I didn’t want to look at Lauren. I didn’t want her pity, or worse, to see her question my motives along with them. I didn’t want her torn between choosing them or me. I never should have put her in that position.
For several long seconds, I warred with whether to explain myself, but it all felt so humiliating. I sighed, letting out something I thought I’d never say. “Don’t worry. I quit.”
I turned to go, but Lauren jumped up and blocked the door before I could leave it. “Stop it. Just stop it,” she pled. “Nobody say another word that can’t be taken back.”
Too late for that. I couldn’t stay. Damage control would have to be a Harwood affair, and I wasn’t a Harwood. I gently moved Lauren’s arm out of the way, avoiding her pleas to stay, and ran.
It was the first time I’d ever ditched work. I’d given everything to this place, but for the next few hours, I didn’t want to think about any of it. I texted Evan to let him know which skid steers still needed oil changes, and then I powered down my phone and drove off.