I Hated You First by Rachel John
Lauren
My worry was starting to turn into irritation. I could go home to my apartment and wait for Clay to come or call, but what if he came here after I drove off? He’d quit. I’d quit. He’d stormed off. I’d stormed off. And yet I felt out of sync with him and ticked off that he was shutting me out.
When the stubborn came out in me, it was hard to turn off. I decided to wait him out, even if I was here all night. But after ten minutes of sitting with nothing to do, I started worrying about all the work that wasn’t getting done at the job I’d just quit. I logged into the system while I still could and went through the equipment intakes, making sure everything was accounted for, and that the equipment slated for rental the next day was ready. It was easier to focus on things like that than think about resumes and job searches. Was that going to be my reality tomorrow?
The rumble of Clay’s truck coming down the road almost caught me off guard. I closed up my computer, dropped it on the passenger seat of my truck, slammed the door shut, and ran for the hibiscus bushes on the left side of Clay’s porch. There was just enough room to duck behind the tallest one. The element of surprise was going to be a lot less surprising with my truck parked in his driveway, but I couldn’t help myself. Somehow, just sitting on his porch glaring up at him would not be nearly as satisfying.
He pulled into the spot next to my truck and got out, shutting his door behind him. Although I couldn’t quite see him yet, I could hear the scuff of his boots approaching.
“Lauren?” he called out.
Just a little closer, buddy.
I had enough common sense to let him see it was me in the half-second before I took a flying leap and tackled him into the flowerbed on the opposite side of the porch. It’s not like I had a death wish. I just wanted revenge.
We both went down, and Clay groaned. “Thanks for killing the landscaping. And my back.”
“Thanks for not answering your phone.”
“I wasn’t ready.” He reached up and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear, but it just fell back out again with me leaning over him.
“And now you are, Mr. High-and-Mighty?”
He rolled me over and stared down into my eyes. I was getting dirt in my hair, but that thought was lost as he dipped his head and kissed me with the certainty of someone who had just given up everything to be with me.
The relief that brought made me realize some of my frustration had been fear. What if he’d decided this was too hard and I wasn’t worth it?
“You don’t hate me?” I whispered. “I screwed up everything.”
Clay smiled down at me. “No, you didn’t. I should have realized Parker would figure it out. His detective skills are top-notch when it comes to getting you in trouble.”
“I’m sorry about what he said, and that my dad let him say it. I chewed them out after you left.”
“I shouldn’t have taken off like that and left you there to deal with it.”
“I quit, too.”
Clay’s eyes widened at that revelation. “You can’t do that. You’re an owner.”
“Not yet. And I’m not going to spend the rest of my life working with them if it means losing you. I’m done fighting with them, and I’m done with secrets.”
Clay sat up and helped me up with him. “So, we’re both unemployed? That’s a bummer.”
I laughed. “I told you dating me was a bad idea.”
“Oh yeah? When? Because I recall you saying there were no outs. That we were doing this no matter what.”
“Yeah, but I’m not holding you to ‘no matter what’ unless I do a better job at this girlfriend thing.”
Clay raised an eyebrow. “You’re looking to improve?”
“You told me not to butt in on your behalf, and I did it anyway. I was so afraid you wouldn’t ask for something that was rightfully yours. I’m sorry I’m a Harwood and we just do things, and then when everything blows up, we get into a wrestling match next to the explosion.”
Clay pulled me into him and hugged me. “Don’t be sorry for being you. But speaking of asking for things…” He jumped to his feet. “Hang on a second, I have something to show you.” He jogged over to his truck and opened up the passenger side door before returning to where I was sitting with something behind his back. “I got this from my grandparents’ house. That’s where I went instead of coming here.”
I tried to get a look at whatever it was, but he easily blocked me. Even knowing he was enjoying my curiosity didn’t stop me from hopping to my feet and starting up a pointless game of keep-away. After a minute, I gave up and turned my back on him. Big mistake.
“Hello, Lauren,” Clay sing-songed in a high-pitched voice. He tapped my shoulder with whatever it was, and suddenly the leering face of a Nutcracker doll was in my face, making me scream a little, and Clay laugh a lot.
“Please tell me you’re not taking up ventriloquism to express your inner feelings. Why do you have that?” I grabbed for it, but Clay held it out of reach.
“My grandmother put it in a box for charity and asked me to drop it off for her. All these years of not telling her how much I hated the thing, and she tosses it aside on her own.”
“I’m not sure I’m following. Are you wanting me to help you punt it across the yard? Because I would love to help with that.”
“Later. Right now, I’m going to face one of my fears and just tell you. I love you, Lauren. And it’s okay if you can’t say it back. I’m done being afraid of going for what I want.”
Clay tended to gesture when he talked, and the Nutcracker doll waving in his hands made it really hard to take him seriously. It also made him impossible not to love in that moment. “I love you, too. Way to make this awesome moment weird with your creepy doll.” I stole it out of his hands and copied his motions until he tackled me into the grass.
When Parker and Dad pulled up to the curb in their apology caravan two minutes later, Clay was still chasing me around the yard with the Nutcracker doll. What a day.