Kite In The Snow by Karla Lopez
The cold leather digs into my bare skin, and the smell of alcohol assaults my nostrils. The smell gets stronger as Travis makes his way up my naked body—he’s drunk.
That’s nothing new. He loves to drink every weekend like everyone else in our town. Except Sunday—that’s God’s day.
It’s funny because the people in this town really believe that they’re holy and are good Christians because they go to church on Sunday, but neglect to remember the sins they committed just days before.
Here in this town, in the town of Bowie, Texas, none of your sins matter as long as you play the part.
I grew up here my whole life, and it’s a town I constantly want to run away from, but I can’t because I’m under the thumb of my parents and now Travis.
Travis is my high school sweetheart as they like to call it. I met him when I was fourteen and he was eighteen. I was a freshman and he was a senior. Ever since he laid eyes on me on the bleachers while I was cheering for the football team—his football team—I was his and everyone knew it.
He was an all-star in our town. He was the guy that was going to make it somewhere, give our little town a little fame, but the last game—his very last game before he got drafted, he tore his ACL. It changed him. The respectful, caring, God-loving jock I used to know vanished into thin air.
He became the monster that keeps me up at night.
He became the alcoholic.
He became the guy who didn’t take no for an answer.
Here I am at sixteen getting my virginity taken by my twenty-year-old boyfriend of two years, who always promised to wait till marriage.
Here I am, laid in the bed of his truck with my legs open for my first time.
The first time every girl dreams about.
He’s taking it for his own because he’s done waiting. He’s taking what I said no to just minutes before he made me get naked for him.
The old him wanted to wait till marriage. He wanted God to bless us and form a stable relationship before we welcomed sex into the picture, but once he started hating God, he became the boy that took without care. He took and took until he left you bare and empty.
I stare at the roof of his Ford pickup truck hoping—praying that it won’t hurt so bad, but I know I’m only kidding myself.
I make my last attempt to stop what’s happening. I don’t want it. I want to wait. I want something better than this beaten down boy who has no regard for me anymore.
“Travis—”
“What the fuck did I say? Don’t say my name when we’re naked. You address me as daddy and only that.” He grabs my chin forcefully, making sure I understand what he’s saying.
“Yes, daddy,” I whisper the word that feels like bile in my throat. The word itself doesn’t offend me, it’s who I’m saying it to and knowing why he wants me to say it.
“Daddy—” My stomach clenches at the word. The bile I try to keep down burns at my throat. “Maybe we should stop. I told you, I want to wait for marriage.”
His dead, black eyes meet mine. “Why? You’re going to be mine anyway. Why make me wait? Come on, I want you and I want you now.”
He thrust forward and the head of his length hits me hard against my very dry folds. The thrust hurts, and I whimper.
“That’s right, my little slut. Moan for daddy,” he grunts in my ear while I will myself to stay calm.
I try to stall him the best I can. “I’m not on birth control. I could get pregnant.”
He rolls his eyes as if I said the dumbest thing in the world.
“I’ll pull out.” No. No. Please don’t.
I stay quiet and just wait for it to happen. Without warning, the worst pain I have ever felt in my entire life ripples through my body. I cry out loudly, not being able to hold back the shutter of agony.
Travis thrusts himself so hard and enters me. The pain is so unbearable that I feel my lungs in my throat.
Tears run down my face as he thrust back and forth. My body clamps up even more and the pain becomes more intense.
“Stop—stop. It hurts.”
Instead of Travis stopping like I asked, he covers my mouth with his hand, and he thrusts faster and faster.
His grunts are loud in my ear. With each sharp thrust, I feel like my insides are ripping open. I lie there motionless, but my mind is screaming—begging for the pain to stop.
“Fuck, baby your pussy is the best I’ve ever had.” This comment makes me watch him while he rips me open and pours acid inside, but my heart just took the brutal beating.
He’s had sex before.
He was a virgin before his accident.
That means he cheated on me and gave his first time to someone meaningless.
My heart moans in pain inside my chest because the boy I love is killing me slowly every single day.