Perfect Sinner by Maggie Cole

10

Gemma

Liam and Hailee leave.The pit in my stomach expands. I wait for Nolan to come out, but he doesn't. I finally go to his office and knock on the door.

He opens it and crosses his arms. A hardened look fills his face. He says, "I'm not in the mood, Gemma."

My insides quiver. I softly ask, "The mood for what?"

"To fight. To be accused of whatever you're going to accuse me of," he states.

"I'm not here for that."

The green flames in his eyes grow hotter. "Then what are you here for, Gemma?"

I take a deep breath. "To see if you're okay." I reach for his bloody bicep, but he shrugs away from me.

"I'm going to take a shower." He pushes past me and goes down the hall to his room.

I debate about what to do. I'm mad that I got bent out of shape over Molly, but that girl is pushing my every button. Nolan seems oblivious to it all. I can't stop wondering if anything has ever happened between them even though he claims it hasn't.

I sit on the couch, twisting my fingers. It grows dark outside. I rise to go into his bedroom and see if he's going to ignore me all night or come out, when he steps into the room.

He's wearing all black. He grabs his keys and says, "I have to go out. I might be gone for a few days. Tiernan and Fergal will escort you wherever you need to go."

My chest tightens. "What?"

His hardened expression never changes. "Don't go anywhere without them. One of them will stay in the house so you aren't alone."

"Nolan! Where are you going?" I demand.

His eyes lock on mine. "I have O'Malley business to deal with. Stay inside the rest of the night. Tiernan and Fergal can run with you in the morning if you want." He walks past me and opens the door.

"Nolan! Stop!"

He spins. "I'm late, Gemma. Stay inside." He shuts the door, and I stare at it for several moments.

The door opens, and Tiernan steps inside. "Hey, Gemma. You need anything?"

I clear my throat. "No."

He smiles then locks the door. He turns back to me. "Did you have a good St. Paddy's Day?"

"Yeah." I almost add, until Molly had to continue hanging on Nolan, but don't.

Tiernan runs his hand through his red hair. "Nolan said you haven't eaten. Do you want me to order something?"

Seriously? He says he's disappearing for possibly days and sends his cousin in to make sure I eat?

"I'm not hungry. It's been a long day. I think I'm going to bed," I state.

"Are you sure? It's only seven. I can have something delivered in case you get hungry later?" he suggests.

I shake my head. "No. I'm fine. Thank you." I leave the room and go into my bedroom. I shut the door then turn on my phone and text Nolan.

Me: Did you leave because you're upset with me?

Minutes pass, and I realize he's probably driving. I call him.

"Gemma, what's wrong?" he curtly answers.

I blurt out, "I'm sorry about what happened at the pub. If you left so you don't have to see me, I'll move back to my mom's."

"So you think I'm immature, too?" he questions.

My pulse beats so hard, I sit down. I soften my voice. "I didn't say that."

"I don't have time to talk about this, Gemma."

My voice shakes. I admit, "This is freaking me out."

He sighs and lowers his voice. "I don't have a choice right now. Please stay inside tonight. Eat some dinner. Tomorrow, if you want to go out, Tiernan and Fergal will take you."

I stare at the ceiling. "When will you be back?"

"I don't know. I have to go. Goodnight, Gemma." The line turns silent.

I stare at the phone, and a message pops up.

Nolan: I instructed Tiernan to check on you every few hours. If you're sleeping and wake up, don't freak out.

Me: That isn't necessary.

Nolan: It's not open for debate.

Me: So he's going to watch me while I sleep, the way you do?

Nolan: No. I'd kill him if he did that.

Even though I'm worried and upset, I smile, happy he's giving me some indication he's still into me.

Nolan: I'm not going to have phone access anymore. Please do as I ask.

Me: Okay. Please be safe.

Nolan: I'll be fine.

Me: It would help if you told me what you're doing.

He doesn't respond.

I pace my bedroom for hours, wondering what he's taking care of for the O'Malleys. My stomach growls, and I realize I haven't eaten since we ate sushi after our run. The plate filled with appetizers pops into my mind, and I decide it's best to follow Nolan's orders. I go out to the kitchen. Tiernan is watching TV. He sees me and rises.

I motion to the couch. "You can sit. I'm just going to make some dinner."

"I just had some of the fish stew I found in the fridge. Did you make it? It's delicious," he raves.

My stomach flips, and I take a few breaths. I reply, "No."

"You want me to heat a bowl for you?"

"Nope." I open the fridge and see the container Molly brought over. I'm tempted to pour it down the sink then light the plastic on fire. But I restrain myself.

I pull spinach, strawberries, and some leftover chicken out. I make a salad, add walnuts, then take half a lemon and squirt it over it.

Tiernan comes and sits on the barstool next to me. He glances at my salad. "That looks healthy."

"It's good."

He gives me a boyish grin. "Is Nolan a health freak?"

I laugh. "Why do you say that?"

He shrugs. "Everything in here is super clean. I've seen him eat at the pub, and he doesn't seem super picky. He makes his own food a lot, but I never really paid attention to why. Does he buy anything not organic?"

I bite on my smile. "Not a lot."

Tiernan leans closer. His face turns serious. "Are you jonesing for a piece of bread or something?"

I set my fork down. "He has bread."

"It's sprouted."

"Have you tried it?" I question.

He furrows his eyebrows. "No. But I'm Irish. It's blasphemy not to eat real bread, don't you think?"

Amused, I spin in my chair toward him. "Are you hungry?"

"I'm always hungry."

"How old are you?"

He wiggles his eyebrows. "How old do you think I am?"

"Mmm...twenty-five?" I guess.

"Nah. I'm almost thirty. I should probably grow a beard so I look older." He rubs his chin.

I peer at him closer. "Nolan said I could go out tomorrow with you and Fergal."

He nods. His face turns serious. "That's right."

"How old is Fergal?"

"Twenty-eight."

I tap the counter. "No offense, but have either of you been bodyguards before?"

"Sure."

"Have you killed anyone?"

He shifts in his seat. He clenches his jaw.

I quickly add, "Sorry, you're just young."

"How old are you?" he asks.

"Thirty-six."

He snorts. "You aren't that much older than me."

My pulse increases. "But if someone came after me—"

"I would shoot them and not think twice. So would Fergal," he assures.

I release a nervous breath. "Okay. Sorry to interrogate you."

He smiles, and I once again think about how young he looks. "It's all right. I understand your concern. But you don't need to worry."

"Great. Do you want something to eat?" I ask.

He glances at my salad. "I'm not really a rabbit food kind of guy."

I laugh. "I can make you a sandwich."

"On sprouted bread?"

"Yep."

"No, thanks. I already ordered a cheeseburger and fries. It should be here any minute."

"I thought you ate fish stew?"

He nods. "Yep. But you can only eat so much of that without proper bread. Plus, it was a few hours ago."

"Alrighty then." I return to eating my salad, and the doorbell rings. Tiernan answers it. He comes back to the kitchen with a bag of food. He holds a burger out to me. "I got two. You want one?"

The smell goes right to my stomach. I reach for it. "Sure."

We eat then I say goodnight and start walking toward my bedroom but spin around before I get there. "I know Nolan said you have to check on me, but I'm fine. It won't be necessary."

He crosses his arms. "Sorry, but I'm under strict instructions."

Shame floods me. "What was the reasoning Nolan gave you to check on me?"

He shakes his head. "No reason. He never gives a lot of reasons for anything. Nolan says jump, and I ask how high. It's easier than asking questions."

Relief replaces my shame. I'm grateful Nolan didn't tell Tiernan about what I almost did. "Okay. Goodnight." I go into the bedroom, shut my door, and put on one of Nolan's T-shirts. I pick up my phone to see what time it is, and a text message pops up.

Nolan: Sleep in my bed.

I freeze and stare at the message for several minutes.

Me: Why?

Nolan: Because it's where you belong.

My flutters go crazy, and I debate about what to send back.

Me: Are you going to surprise me in the middle of the night?

Nolan: No, princess. Get some rest. I won't be texting you again.

My heart sinks, and worry starts all over. I stare at the wall then finally take my phone and go into Nolan's room. His bedsheets smell like him. I sink into the pillow, deeply inhaling his scent and eventually drifting off to sleep.

I don't wake up until the sun has risen. It's peeking through the blinds I forgot to shut. I look over where Nolan would be, but he's not here. My phone doesn't have any new messages. I send him a text.

Me: Are you coming home soon?

My message never shows it's delivered, which makes me think his phone is off. Anxiety creeps into my chest, so I do some deep-breathing exercises.

He said he'd be fine.

Where is he?

I get out of bed and go into the bathroom, do my business, then look at his personal items on the counter. I pick up a bottle of cologne and spray it on my wrist then inhale it.

So that's why he smells like sandalwood and coffee even though he doesn't drink it.

My insides quiver hard. I spray another pump on my neck, close my eyes, and keep breathing.

He'll be home today.

He said it could be a few days.

Is that two? Three? What does that mean?

I stare at myself in the mirror, telling myself to pull it together. The last thing I need is to go into a panic attack just because Nolan isn't here.

But what if something happens to him?

What if it already did?

This isn't helping.

I need to stay busy today.

I throw a sweatshirt of Nolan's over his T-shirt then go down to my room. I put on a pair of yoga pants, go into the kitchen, and make a smoothie and espresso. Tiernan is asleep on the couch. He's snoring and didn't even wake up when I blended my smoothie. His hand is in his pants, grabbing his junk.

So much for watching over me.

I take my smoothie and espresso. I go into the office and put everything on the table then open my laptop. For the next five hours, I become engrossed in my new job. Everything they need for their branding, I create. The owner and I email back and forth, and he says he loves it all, then gives his final approval on everything.

The rush I used to get at work surges, and I happily glance over at Nolan's desk, but reality hits. He's not here. The nervousness about where he's at and if he's safe builds again.

Tiernan knocks on the door. "Are you doing okay?"

"Yeah."

He steps inside and reveals a plate he hid behind his back. "I have something for you."

"What is it?" I ask, and my stomach growls.

"Darcey sent leftovers from the pub." He sets down a plate full of St. Paddy's Day appetizers.

I meet his gaze. "Thank you. I didn't eat yesterday before the fight broke out."

He plops in the chair across from me, grabs a piece of bread, and slathers it with the avocado pesto spread. "This stuff is amazing." He shoves it in his mouth.

I put some on a cracker and pop it in my mouth. The herbs mix with the smooth avocado texture flawlessly. "Mmm."

He points to the spinach ball and says, "You can have all those."

"Not a fan?"

"Spinach is for rabbits."

I raise my eyebrows. "For someone as fit as you appear to be, you sure don't seem to eat like it."

He pats his stomach. "My mama raised me on meat and potatoes. I'm a real man."

"And right now, you're in your twenties with a fast metabolism," I warn.

He snorts.

There's a loud clap of thunder. I jump then turn to look out the window. Rain pours down so thick, I can hardly see out. I mutter, "Crap. Now I can't go for a run."

"Not outside. We can take you to the gym if you want." He grabs another piece of bread.

My chest tightens. I haven't been to the gym in months, since Orla's thug threatened me.

"You have a gym membership, right?" he asks.

"Yeah."

"Okay. So Fergal and I will check things out, give you the go-ahead, then you can get your workout in," he says, as if it's no big deal, then shoves more bread in his mouth.

"You sure it's okay?" I nervously ask. I shouldn't think twice about this. There were thousands of runners in the race I ran with Nolan the previous day. Then, I was in a packed bar. But something feels a bit off.

"If it isn't safe, we won't let you go inside. And we'll be there the entire time," he confidently states.

I consider what to do and decide I probably am anxious over not knowing where Nolan is and when he'll return. Working out will help ease my worries and take my mind off things. "Okay. Let me eat and then I'll change."

We finish everything on the plate, I put my workout clothes on, and we leave. When we get to the gym, Tiernan and Fergal go inside. I stay in the car with the driver and another bodyguard I haven't met before. After ten minutes, Tiernan and Fergal come outside.

"It's all clear," Tiernan informs us.

I ignore the flutters in my belly and step out of the car. I go into the gym, put my bag in the locker room, then find an empty treadmill. Everyone around me is engrossed in their workout, and I put my earbuds in.

For forty-five minutes, I run. I get lost in the music and adrenaline then spend another hour lifting weights and stretching. As much as I love to run outside with Nolan, it feels nice to return to the gym I've been a member of for years.

When I finish, I glance at Tiernan and Fergal stationed near the door. I run over to them. "I'm going to go into the sauna for ten minutes then shower quickly. If I'm not out in twenty minutes, storm the locker room," I tease.

Tiernan gazes behind me then wiggles his eyebrows. "I'll volunteer for that. Especially if you can get her to go in there."

I glance behind me at the woman doing squat presses then back at him. "Yeah. I'll work on that for you." I grin and stroll into the locker room.

I strip out of my sweaty clothes, put a towel around me, then go into the dry sauna. No one else is in it. I set the timer on the wall for ten minutes and lie down on the wood, deeply inhaling the dry, warm air. It's so comfortable, I close my eyes and almost fall asleep.

When the timer dings, I get up and rinse off in the shower. I wrap a fresh towel around my body then make my way to my locker. No one is in sight, which I find odd but don't dwell on.

As soon as I turn the corner, a hand covers my mouth, and I get yanked into a woman's body. My pulse darts to the sky. I attempt to scream, but a knife goes to my throat.

"Shut up." Orla's cold voice sends chills down my spine. "You think you can hide from me?"

My mind is a whirlwind of how not to get my throat sliced, stop the growing tremors taking over my body, and not allow my tears to escape.

She presses the flat part of the blade against my throat. "I'm going to destroy all of you. Your sisters won't know what hit them. And that mother of yours, the one who killed my mother, she's going to watch you all suffer before I take her out."

My heart almost stops. I'm unsure what she's talking about. My mother isn't a killer.

She laughs. "Oh, you didn't know, did you? Is it not something your mother talks about?" She grips my mouth so tight, it may bruise.

A tear slips down my cheek and over her hand. Chest pains stab me. There's no way my mother could be a murderer. Did Orla decide to come after me from this notion she has in her head?

"I'm through with your—"

"Let her go, or I shoot!" Tiernan growls, pointing his gun at our heads. Fergal rounds the corner, steps next to him, and positions his weapon in the same manner.

My insides shake harder.

Orla tightens her grip on my body and doesn't release me. She laughs. "You don't have the balls."

"I said, let her go!" Tiernan demands.

"Don't test us," Fergal barks.

Orla moves her head behind mine and backs us away. She sneers, "How good is your aim? Will your bullet hit her or me? Or will I slice her neck before you dare to pull the trigger?"

I stare at both Tiernan and Fergal, but they keep their attention on Orla.

"Neither of us miss. You have three seconds to release her," Tiernan threatens.

Fergal counts, "One. Two."

Orla kicks my heel, so my leg moves outward, quickly lowers the knife, and slices through the towel. The blade tears the inner skin on my thigh, and I scream as her hand leaves my body. She pushes me forward and lunges behind the locker.

Fergal takes off after her, and Tiernan rushes toward me. Fergal yells, "Door's secured."

"Gemma, let me see your leg!" Tiernan reaches for me, but I step back.

"No."

"You're bleeding all over the place."

I glance down at the bloodstain expanding on the towel and the tiny pool forming on the floor.

"We need to get you to a hospital," Fergal states.

I shake my head. "I'm going in the shower." My hands shake as I unlock my locker. I take out the pouch of ace bandages I keep in it for the days my knee is bothering me.

Tiernan argues, "Gemma—"

"Give me some privacy!" I yell, on the verge of losing it from the pain and humiliation of Orla getting to me again. And I still don't know why she said my mother killed hers.

"You need medical attention," Fergal claims.

I spin on him, angry I assumed I could be normal and come to the gym. My past experience with Orla proves she will always get to me. And my gut told me Fergal and Tiernan wouldn't protect me. "Why don't you do me a favor and make sure no one else gets to me while I clean up." I grab my clothes, ignore their guilty expressions, and return to the shower.

Once the water is on, I peel the towel away and stare at the bloody gash. It's horizontal, from the inside of my thigh to the front, a few inches below my female parts.

Jesus. She could have cut me there.

I resist the urge to break down. I take a handful of the antibacterial soap and wash it off. The sting is deeper than the cut. It's already starting to clot. I cringe but get through it. I dry it off. It's still bleeding, but I don't want to go to the hospital and become a sitting duck for Orla to attempt to kill me again. I press a clean, dry washcloth on it, wrap the ace bandage as tight as possible around my wound, then slip into my yoga pants. I throw my bra and sweatshirt over my head then slide into the sandals I keep at the gym for showering.

"Let's go," I instruct Tiernan and Fergal.

"You need a doctor," Tiernan insists.

Tears fill my eyes. My lips shake. "Can you please get me out of here? I need to go home."

He sighs, nods, then protectively puts his arm around my shoulder.

Fergal goes first, gives the all clear, and Tiernan maneuvers me through the gym and into the car. They sit in the back with me. I ignore their concerned faces and stare out the window, telling myself to keep it together.

The car pulls into the garage, and I jump out. I go directly to Nolan's bedroom and into his bathroom. Blood spots darken my black pants. I open the cabinet, trying to find a first aid kit. Nothing appears, and the pain in my thigh gets worse. Yet, it's nothing compared to the shame and fear I feel.

The tears start to fall. I stop and put one hand on the counter to steady myself and the other over my face.

"Gemma!" Nolan's voice rings through my sobs. I attempt to shut down all the emotions assaulting me. He comes flying into the bathroom and wraps his arms around me.

It only makes me sob harder.

He holds my head to his chest and says into my hair, "Shh. Let me see your leg."

I can't seem to pull it together. For months, Orla warned me she won't hesitate to kill me. She could have today. The reality of what could have happened mixes with my relief Nolan is here. I glance up and cry out, "I'm sorry."

He tugs me into his chest again. "Shh. Don't apologize for her." He kisses my head. "I need you to calm down, princess, so I can see your wound."

I force myself to take deep breaths. I finally tilt my head and meet Nolan's worried gaze. "She got to me."

His expression turns to stone. He vows, "And we're going to hunt her down for doing so."