Maya by Shayne Ford
3
MAYA
The echoof her words hovers over the table, allowing me to envision everything she has experienced.
The perfect love even when it’s imperfect.
Who knew men could recite poems and travel inside your mind giving you what most people couldn’t.
“I’m sorry,” Tara says, smiling softly.
“For what?”
“I shouldn’t talk about it. I don’t want to boast about it.”
“You’re not. It helps me,” I say bitterly.
It’s true, but it hurts as well.
What are the chances to find a man like Shade? I don’t mean young like him. I mean someone who can make me feel that way.
The waitress stops at our table and makes sure we have everything we need before handing us the dessert menus and collecting the plates.
I settle for a piece of blueberries pound cake with whipped cream while Tara orders a slice of chocolate lava cake with fresh raspberries.
“I needed to hear this,” I murmur minutes later when we dip our spoons into our desserts. “It gives me hope. More hope…” I say, smiling.
She searches my eyes.
“You know it’s not all good. Things are fine with him, but it’s an entirely different story with his family. There are issues with his mother in particular, and my job could be on the line sometime in the future.”
I smile.
“You have nothing to fear.”
“I don’t?” she asks, grinning before sliding a mouthful of melted chocolate into her mouth.
“It’s love… Tara. He’ll find a way. And you will too. I wish I had something to fight for like you two have.”
“You will. I’m certain it will happen.”
I gesture in disagreement before centering my eyes on my plate.
“You don’t have to say that. I’m happy Matt is gone, and I can start thinking about something other than him.”
“It will be more than thinking soon.”
“I appreciate your effort,” I say, smiling skeptically. “I don’t need the pep talk, though. I’m a big girl.”
Her spoon clinks against her plate as she sets it down before she scoops up her glass of wine and brings it to her lips.
“What do you plan to do?”
I suck in a long breath and chew slowly.
“I’ll take my time. First, I’ll have to find a place of my own. My new job will take up most of my time, and that’s about it for now.”
A soft smile curls her lips.
“What about the other thing?”
She makes a small gesture, pointing to my body.
“The other thing will wait,” I say.
We both laugh.
“It hasn’t gotten much action anyway, and honestly, I can put myself through depressing fucking sessions right now.”
“I hear you. What makes you think they’d be depressing?” she murmurs, her eyes on her chocolate cake.
She takes another bite.
I shrug.
“Everything… Your experience. My experience. Your new lover. I’m too broken to score another disappointment. Sex for sex and the awkwardness that comes with it in the aftermath? No, thank you. And then the games. The spooked look on his face, thinking I might want him when I don’t, in fact. The realization that I stumbled upon another man-child. I need to heal myself before I put myself through the wringer for another man again.”
“You’re jaded.”
“Wouldn’t you be?”
She nods.
“I would. I think I was. That’s how Shade got me.”
“He didn’t get you. He was a gift. Someone loves you up there, Tara.”
I point to the ceiling, meaning the sky.
“Maybe. It was luck, but as I said, it’s not permanent. It could be. And it might not be, but I’m willing to take the risk.”
“That’s exactly what I said. It’s something worth fighting for.”
Her phone buzzes on the table.
She picks it up, her eyes lighting up.
“It’s him,” she mouths to me before taking the call.
Her voice fades in the background as I move my eyes to the window and peer at the sidewalks.
The weather is still warm, and for some reason, I feel good. Better than I felt a few weeks back, and that’s a sign I’m getting better.
Tara’s words make me dream of traveling around the world and experiencing new beginnings.
Even if I don’t have the chance to run into someone like her new man, things are still good.
I’m finally me again after all this time.
“So…” she says, ending her phone conversation and setting the phone on the table. “It looks like we’re going to a party.”
I move my focus to her.
Her face beams with a smile, a blush spilling into her complexion.
“We?”
“Yeah… We’re invited to a party.”
Excitement beams on her face.
“We, as in you and me?” I ask again.
She tips her chin down.
“Uh-huh.”
I grin.
“What exactly do you mean?”
“Shade and his best friend were invited to a party. Shade wants me to come, and I suggested you should come too.”
I laugh.
“That’s not ‘we’ve been invited’ to a party.”
I stare at her, my mouth open, my lips curved into a faint smile.
“What kind of party?”
She gestures.
“Some posh event at a mansion on a private property. It’s an anniversary of sorts. It will be nice.”
“So…That means I’d be his friend’s plus one?” I say in a strangled voice.
I’m already nervous, and I’m not even sure I want to go there.
“Not necessarily.”
“Explain.”
She gestures quickly and drinks wine, anxious like me.
I know her well.
She wants me to go there with her because she is tense and edgy about the idea.
It has nothing to do with me or Shade’s friend.
“Why are you so nervous?”
“I’m not,” she says in a strained voice.
Didn’t I say?
I chuckle.
“Okay, I am,” she admits. “His mother will be there, and I don’t know anyone in that group other than him. But it’s not only about me being nervous and wanting you there with me. Bad things aside, it’s a nice event with good food and live music. We’ll get to wear evening gowns too.”
“You can barely talk,” I notice.
A nervous laugh rolls off her lips.
“Is that evident?”
I nod.
“Still, I want you to come with me. It’s going to be fun. Come on… The men will discuss a few business matters with the host while we will be by ourselves. Not only that, you finally get the chance to spend the night out. When was the last time you went anywhere?”
“Great selling point,” I mutter before hiding my smile behind my drink and sipping wine.
“I’m good, aren’t I?” she says in self-deprecating humor.
As a side note, Tara has built a career in sales, but she’s made a good point. This would be a great opportunity to go out there and experience something new.
“I don’t have an evening gown,” I argue. “Not to mention I have no budget for one right now.”
“We’ll go shopping.”
I flick my hand up.
“No. I can’t. I won’t spend money on a dress I’ll never wear again.”
“First off, you don’t know that.”
“I do know that. I still have my prom dress tucked in the storage unit somewhere. I never touched it again after that night, so no.”
She sucks in air.
“Look… “
Her hand slides over mine, prompting me to lift my gaze to her.
“Let’s do this,” she says. “I want you to come with me. And I understand your circumstances. I wouldn’t splurge on an evening gown either if I were in your shoes, but let’s do this. I’ll buy two gowns for myself, and I’ll lend you one. This way, you won’t feel bad about it, and I’ll have a spare one next time Shade, and I attend an event like this.”
“He’ll see your dress on me,” I argue, pondering her proposal.
“He won’t give a damn. Trust me. Men don’t fret over this kind of stuff.”
I chew on my lip.
“What do you have in mind then?”
“I’ll go shopping without you. It will be a surprise.”
Her eyes flicker with an amused smile.
“It’s going to be fun,” she adds. “You come to my place tomorrow afternoon, and we get dressed there. Then we meet Shade. You finally get to see him.”
“And his friend.”
“And his friend.”
“Yes.”
“And if I don’t like him?”
“Big fucking deal.”
“What if I like him?” I tease.
Her chest rocks with laughter.
“You’ll sort it out with him.”
“Hmm… I don’t know,” I murmur, teasing her some more.
She laughs, shaking her head.
“You’re driving me crazy, woman.”
Swiftly, she checks the time on her phone.
“I have to go if I want to shop this evening.”
