Caring Fireman Daddy by Scott Wylder
CHAPTER SEVEN
Betsy
Slowly, but surely, I have moved out of my apartment. I was never on the lease and the guy that was couch surfing has taken over my room, so I guess that’s that. I once considered my roommates friends, but they never wanted what was best for me. It was like we were all just hanging out until something better came along.
I continue to work at the hotel. I’ve been better at getting to work on time and doing a better job. Having someone to come home to makes the work not so terrible. Hotels are where people go when they can’t go home.
With some encouragement from Darius, I applied for a front desk position. I never would have done that without his support. He helped me clean up my look and taught me how to speak and act more professionally. He makes me feel so grown up, in a good way. I look in the mirror and I don’t see a messed up nobody anymore. Now when I get ready for work, I see a grown, capable woman. I keep my hair neat, in a reasonable ponytail, not the high, fun one like a unicorn. My makeup is subtle yet flattering. At home or at Recess, I can be fun and play with clothes and makeup. I can be whoever I want, because I am beginning to learn who I really am. I can be grown up at work and be a Little with Darius. I don’t think I could be a grown up if I didn’t have the chance to be a kid sometimes.
It has been several weeks, and I’m off the couch. I have fallen asleep in Darius’s bed from time to time, but we haven’t had sex yet. He says that he has to earn me, and I have to earn him. We can’t be Daddy and Little just because we want it, we have to grow into those roles. I need to feel safe enough to regress with him and he has to earn the right to let me.
We finally cleaned up the junk bedroom so I could have a bedroom/playroom of my own. I never really got to have my own room with my own stuff before. I either had to share a room with my mother’s boyfriends’ kids or we were staying in other people’s houses. I was lucky to get a sleeping bag. Most of the junk in the spare room was from his ex-wife that she never bothered moving. I was happy to help him sift through the memories and the stuff. I suggested we burn it. He said that we should donate anything that was useful and throw out the rest. He is nicer than I am sometimes. I can feel how much she hurt him even though he won’t admit it to himself. Funny how you can feel angrier on someone else’s behalf than you can for yourself.
My playroom has a bunk bed. It is so much fun! I sleep on the bottom bunk even though it’s a bit too small for me, and my feet hang over the edge. Just the idea of it makes me happy. He says I can use the bunk bed for sleepovers with other Littles like Talia. Right now, I have my stuffies all cozy on the upper bunk. I have a special unicorn stuffie with pink and purple hair and a sewn-on permanent smile. There are blocks, coloring books, dolls, tea sets, and games for me to play. Darius will play board games with me, and even indulge me in a tea party, although he always insists on having coffee.
I wonder what I have to do earn the right to his bed. I want him so badly. At night, I think of him and touch myself. I think about his hands all over me. I think about him putting me in a diaper and powdering me like he promised. Then we would cuddle and kiss just so he could take it off.
Maybe it’s not about what I do, it’s about how he feels. With his help, I’m bettering myself, just like he asked. I do my chores. I never had chores before. I don’t mind doing the dishes or cleaning up if I am cleaning up my own house. Cleaning up after strangers in a hotel is so impersonal.
He takes care of me, too. Of course, he mows the lawn and fixes little things around the house. He will make a good husband someday. I guess he always has, he was just married to the wrong wife. He takes care of me like a Daddy, too. He is strong and caring. I have never been healthier inside and out. I have also never waited so long for a man to have sex with me. I know he’s into me. I know he wants to. We kiss and make out a lot, we just don’t go all the way. Maybe this is what grown-ups do. They wait until the time is right, not just when the feel like it.
