Cross Country Hearts by Suzanne August

Fifteen

“Tell me their stories.”

Lila’s brought some beer along with the rum, claiming to have taken them from her sister’s stash. Rachel doesn’t know yet, though she may by now, and Lila assures us that she won’t mind. The sun has set by the time we open the rum, and the energy of our day has calmed down a bit. We settle again around the campfire and continue talking.

But I’m silent. I can’t wrap my mind around the photo Thomas showed me.

If he hadn’t shown me the picture, I wouldn’t have for one moment believed what he was saying. I may not have even related him calling the girl Mel with my friend Melanie. There are a lot of people who go by the nickname at school, and because Melanie hates Jasper so much, I would’ve never even considered it. So how could it be true?

I know without a doubt that it was Melanie in that picture, and because I know her so well, I know that the smile she wore was a real one. I have to think hard about it. If Jasper was going to be a sophomore, then it was the summer before Melanie and I became freshmen. Toward the end of the summer, she started dating a guy named Steven Wedowski. She wouldn’t have cheated, though. Melanie is a lot of things, but she doesn’t cheat. She stays loyal, no matter how angry she is. You just don’t want to get on her wrong side.

“June,” Lila says, eager. “Thomas says you’re going to be soccer captain this year.”

“Um…” My hands tighten around the bottle of Captain Morgan. “Yeah, I am.”

In my peripheral vision, I notice Jasper’s eyes narrowing on me. Of course, he’d be the one to catch my stiff posture.

“You can be the Athletic One,” Lila declares. She raises a cup to cheer to it.

Thomas snorts. “Your labeling abilities need work.”

“I label just fine!”

“You labeled yourself the Intelligent One.”

As soon as I’d been in that conversation, I drop out of it. Jasper is still studying me, though, and I don’t relax until he looks away moments later.

That summer before we started high school, Melanie got her first job. She was working downtown somewhere near Quincy market, and because I spent the summer with April in Florida, I didn’t see her in person. I talked with her over the phone all the time, and I vaguely recall an infatuation she had with a co-worker. It was a crush, and from what I could tell, she was into the guy. They hung out a lot and even spent the Fourth of July together. He bought her a present for her birthday in August.

And then… nothing. I arrived home two weeks before school started. I remember asking Melanie about her co-worker. She shrugged it off and said it was never anything serious. I believed her.

In our freshman year of high school, I had a geography class with Jasper. He sat in the back corner, slouched over his art book, and rarely looked up. That year was the year Melanie began spreading rumors about him.

Of course, I never thought much about it. Before Melanie, people already considered him a loner. No one thought he was weird, per se, but it wasn’t hard for Melanie to convince people that he was. When I had asked, once, why she didn’t like him, she responded that she had a class with him, and he was full of himself. If Jasper had put one foot in the wrong direction that would’ve been enough to set Melanie off.

But what if, in this case, it wasn’t one foot but an entire summer of friendship that all came burning down weeks before school started?

For the rest of the night, I’m distracted. Inwardly, I can’t think straight. I can’t quite grasp the image of Melanie and Jasper smiling together. Outwardly, I try to participate in the conversations as much as possible. If anyone notices how tense and distracted I am, they don’t say anything. As it is, Lila and Ren are getting pretty drunk, and although Thomas isn’t drinking—he’s the designated driver—he doesn’t seem to notice my stiffness. Unfortunately, I get the sense that Jasper knows something is up.

It’s late by the time Thomas, as the sober voice of reason, says we should be getting back. When I check my phone, it’s past ten o’clock. By the time we’re all packed, it’s nearing eleven. We head back the way Jasper came, therefore avoiding a climb up the cliffs.

“I’ll lead,” Jasper says. “I just came through here today.”

“No,” Thomas says, moving forward. “You get lost even when you’re in your right mind. I’ll lead.”

Thomas takes the front and, because Ren and Lila shouldn’t take up the rear in all their wobbling, giggling selves, Jasper and I leave Sandy Place last. I trip on a real root this time and almost fall face-first into the ground if not for Jasper’s helping hand. When I’m steady again, I nod my thanks to Jasper.

“You all right?” he asks, taking his hand away from my upper arm. He stretches his fingers before stuffing his hand back in his pocket.

“Yeah, thanks,” I say.

“No, I mean…” Jasper shakes his head. “You seemed a little off tonight.”

I almost blurt it all out right there. The words form in my mouth, open and ready to say those first words—Did you and Melanie…? But before I can, my mind conquers the poison of Captain Morgan, and I remember that I need to think this out before I say anything. My mouth snaps shut and, because I can’t bring myself to look at Jasper, I stare at the back of Ren, who does fall over a root and lands on his face.

Lila trips over him, falling too. Thomas only twists around to look at them, offering no help. A look of amusement and patience rises to his face, but it’s Jasper who goes forward and tries to help them up. Lingering back, I let out a breath. Lila and Ren have unknowingly come to the rescue.

It takes a few moments to get them upright again, especially since Lila tries to pull Jasper down with them as opposed to getting back up. By the time we’re on our way again, and Jasper has fallen back into step with me, I’ve recollected myself.

I don’t want Jasper to ask me again if I’m all right, but I also don’t want there to be a deafening silence. Navigating a conversation with Jasper, though, isn’t the easiest. The silence between us builds, and its nerve-wracking for me. I stare at the backs of Ren and Lila, with Thomas at the front, and wonder how I’ve spent the whole day with them and had fun.

I know what to ask.

“So…” I start, glancing at Jasper. “Tell me their stories.”

In the darkness, I think I see Jasper blink. His face turns towards me slightly, but his gaze doesn’t rest on mine. He’s concentrating on the forest floor, probably trying not to trip over roots like everyone else is. “What do you mean?”

“I mean…” I struggle to find the right words, a skill for which Jasper has an immense talent, and I utterly lack in. “Thomas is the cook, right? Ren is the photographer, and Lila is the intelligent one. You keep telling me about their pranks, but just… what are their stories?”

Jasper laughs, a soft sound in the cool night. “I’m not sure what to say, June.”

My face reddens, which is something that’s becoming all too common these days. I’m thankful for the darkness.

“Well…” Jasper starts. I wait for him to go on. I know this silence by now. “Ren is really into photography. You got that, right?”

“Yeah, I definitely got that.”

“Well, he used to really hate it. It was because of his parents. They go on these trips all the time, and when they go, they usually leave him with Lila’s parents across the hall. That’s how he and Lila met. Anyway, he hates that his parents are gone so much. He doesn’t show it much these days, but we all know he still does.

“He didn’t get into photography until Lila gave him one of those old disposable ones for his birthday. It was supposed to be a joke—but long story short, Ren loves photography now.”

Jasper lapses into silence. Hesitantly, I ask, “And Lila? Thomas?”

“Thomas and Lila are interesting.” Although I can’t see it, I can almost hear the smile in his tone. “See, Thomas’s parents are old money. They’ve been in the Baltimore area since before America became a country. They’re Ivy League. His dad went to Princeton. So naturally, they want Thomas to follow in their footsteps. It’s not like he isn’t smart enough. Probably not smart enough for Ivy League, but—”

“He wants to become a chef?”

Jasper nods. “Exactly. He wants to go to the Culinary Institute of America in New York. That’s like the Ivy League school for cooks.”

“How does Lila play into this?”

“Well, Lila is smart. I don’t mean more than the average person. She’s a genius, and I’m not exaggerating. That girl—she’s crazy.” Jasper laughs again. I’m starting to like its soft, smooth sound. “She likes to learn. And it’s not like her parents aren’t supportive of her aspirations to go to an Ivy League school. It’s just they… don’t think she can.”

“Why not?” I ask. I watch Lila’s back in front of us. She’s laughing maniacally about something. Ren’s arms are flailing about his body like he’s acting out some story. I can see her being intelligent. It’s in the way she holds herself and the glint in her eye when she’s thinking. She’s as mischievous as the rest of the group, but there’s also that brilliant shine in her eyes that reveals she knows how to make a prank just that much better.

“Come on, June. We all pull crazy stunts, and while Lila’s never gotten suspended from school, she’s come close. She likes to learn, but she doesn’t put in the effort, like the extra-curricular activities schools look for. Her parents don’t think she’d get in because of that. Even if she did, she’d have to get a lot of scholarships to go.”

So, Thomas’s parents want him to go Ivy League, but it’s actually Lila who wants to go. That’s interesting.

“You think they can do it?” I ask.

“Of course,” he says, with no hesitation. “I’ve known these guys almost my entire life. They can do anything they put their minds to.”

The way he says that, with so much conviction and passion, reminds me of Lila’s designation of him as the compassionate one. It makes me wonder how I never glimpsed this side of Jasper, who always kept to himself and barely talked to anyone. But of course, I didn’t. I judged him, and then I bullied him—and for what reason? Because Melanie said to?

I’d wanted to break a silence between Jasper and me before it had a chance to form, but by asking him to talk about his friends, I feel worse.

“Watch out,” Jasper says, bringing me back down to reality. “It’s hard to see the steps.”

“What steps?”

He points ahead, and when I look, I see the shadows surrounding a bridge arching over the canyon. Thomas has already climbed the two short steps and is crossing it. He has one hand on Lila’s shoulder, guiding her across, with Ren following close behind. When we’re closer, I see that those steps are almost entirely covered in leaves and old roots.

“You know,” I say carefully, placing my foot on the first step. “Your friends… aren’t like mine.” Hand gripping the bridge’s railing, Jasper watches me with a wary expression, so I add, ”It’s not a bad thing. They’re just… different. I like them a lot.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Jasper stops in his pursuit across the bridge, leaning gingerly against the wooden frame. He tilts his head upwards, eyes squinting at the full moon. At first, I think it’s because he’s thinking hard again, trying to form those words before he speaks them, but then I realize it’s because he doesn’t want to look down—at the canyon and its river rushing below us.

“June…” he starts. He stops just as abruptly as he began, and then he shakes his head and brings his eyes level with mine. “They’re the best friends anyone could ever have.”

I frown. Somehow, I don’t think that’s what he was going to say.

“Georgia,” Jasper goes on. He nods to himself. “They’re like her. They don’t let what anyone says change them.”

I stare at him.

“I’m not trying to be insulting,” he says, and then he smiles. It’s a genuine, soft smile that’s directed at me. Something in my chest twists, an uncomfortableness that I’m not familiar with. He goes on. “Far from it, Pierce. I benefit in my life because of my friends. Probably how you could benefit from Georgia.”

It takes me a moment, especially because I think this is Jasper’s way of saying I should embrace an influence that comes from Georgia instead of Melanie, but then I finally decide that this is Jasper’s way of saying that I do have friends like his. I don’t know what to think or say in response, so I push the thoughts away and push forward, passing Jasper as I cross the remaining length of the bridge. The three ahead have almost disappeared from view.

“Come on, Jasper,” I say. “We’re going to get lost.”

Jasper pushes off from the railing, but I notice how he keeps one hand gripping the frame and follows closely behind me. As our feet meet the soft ground and leaves underfoot once more, Lila’s words come back to me once again.

Jasper is the compassionate one.

~.*.~

I want to talk to Melanie. I want to ask her about Jasper. Of course, I know she won’t answer, so I decide to call Georgia instead.

She answers on the second ring. “June! Where are you?”

“In Maryland.”

There’s a pause. “What’s in Maryland?”

I stand at the foot of the bed in Ren’s parents’ room. Slowly, I lower myself to sit on its edge and stare out the window. It’s past midnight now. “I didn’t know if you’d be up.”

I hear her snort. “Of course, I’m up. Melanie had this party—”

“Jasper’s friends,” I blurt. “Jasper’s friends are in Maryland.”

Another pause, this one long and agonizing. “So… you guys haven’t killed each other yet?”

Georgia’s smart. She has a sixth sense when it comes to people, and she must understand that I have no idea how I’m feeling right now. Yet, I know what I want to express, but how do I say it? How do I ask? I slouch forward and stare at my shoes. Then I notice that I’ve tracked mud into the room. Great. I switch my phone to the other ear, nervous.

“No,” I say, finally. “We haven’t killed each other yet.

“I don’t know if I like the sound of that.”

“How does it sound?” I get up, my eyes roaming the room. I kick off my shoes and shove them under the bed.

“I don’t know, but you don’t sound happy.”

I sigh. “Do you remember the summer Melanie worked downtown? Near Quincy market.”

“Yeah, I guess.”

“And she met that guy.”

“Yeah. Some random kid she worked with. He was a grade above us or something.”

“Did you ever meet him or… did Melanie ever show you a picture of him?”

“June, where are you going with this?”

There it is. I cross the room and grab the roll of paper towels. Ren’s parents are wise for keeping some in their room. Instead of cleaning up the mud, though, I stare at the wall, paper towels clutched to my chest. “Did you?”

Pause. “No.” She draws the word out. She sounds cautious.

I shove the towels onto the night table. “What happened to him?”

“I don’t remember,” she responds. “June, it was a long time ago. What does it matter?”

“I don’t know,” I say honestly. “I met Jasper’s friends today. One of them—he showed me a picture of Jasper and this girl. And the girl, Georgia. It was Melanie.”

“Are you sure?” Georgia’s voice hardens, growing into a mixture of seriousness and skepticism. “You know Melanie hates him.”

“I’m sure. He even called the girl in the picture Mel.” I pick up the towels again, then set them back down. How am I even going to clean up the mud with those anyway? But I can’t sit down. I start pacing the room. “I wanted to ask Jasper about it, but the thing is… I know Jasper hates Melanie. It doesn’t make sense.”

“You haven’t asked anyone about it?”

“Melanie won’t answer my calls, and Jasper… we’ve finally come to a point where we’re not always fighting. I don’t know how to ask.”

There’s another pause. “Well, something like this would definitely spice things up in our lives.”

I stop pacing. I blink. “Are you joking?”

She laughs. “It makes sense! She never gave us a reason for why she hated him so much.”

“She never gives us a reason, Georgia.”

“Please.” I imagine her waving a hand in dismissal. “She hates Jasper King so much. It was always a little weird how intense it is.”

“Thomas said she wanted to date Jasper, and he turned her down.”

Another laugh, this one sharper. “That would set her off!”

“It’s not funny,” I snap.

Georgia’s voice quietens. “What’s up, June? Why is this bothering you so much?”

“Because.” I return to the bed, sitting down so fast the bed creaks in protest. I take a deep breath. “He’s actually… a good person. I think.”

“June Pierce,” Georgia says. Her voice rises. “Are you saying Jasper isn’t the thorn of your life? Do I hear this right? Jasper King isn’t the devil?”

I bury my face in my free hand. “Don’t ever repeat that to Melanie.”

“You shouldn’t care what she thinks,” she says, flippant. “What’s making you say that about Jasper? First, it was a road trip and saying that he isn’t so bad. What’s changed?”

“Oh, he can still be insulting,” I say. “But he’s no loner. He has this way of thinking too. It’s like he thinks out every word and its meaning carefully before he says them. He was right to hate us, Georgia. We were horrible to him. Why wouldn’t he hate me?”

“You… feel guilty, don’t you?”

“Remember how we always thought it was weird he never painted a picture of you?”

“Yes.”

I bring my hand away, laying down on the bed and staring at the ceiling. “He said it’s because you’re your own person, and I’m Melanie’s puppet.”

“He doesn’t sound that great to me,” Georgia says, and I hear the annoyed tilt to her tone.

“He’s right,” I lament. “I bullied him because Melanie bullied him.”

“It’s okay to feel guilty about it,” she says. “But he still shouldn’t have painted you, either. Also, what the hell happened to not saying anything if there’s nothing nice to say?”

“It’s a long story.”

“Well, when you come back, you’re telling me every detail. You probably don’t want me to ask Melanie about the summer before our freshman year of high school?”

“No!” I slap a hand over my mouth. My gaze slides to the door, and I lower my voice. “I’ll ask Jasper. Tomorrow, maybe.”

“You’re still going to the Coca-Cola museum?”

“Of course.”

“Okay. Call me when you’re in Georgia, girl. And make sure you get to April’s wedding on time. I’m going to hang up now, and while it’s okay to feel guilty about bullying Jasper, don’t let it eat at you. I know you, and I know you’re a good person on the inside. He doesn’t know us, remember? He has no right to judge.”

“Georgia—”

“Hanging up.”

I throw my phone across the bed and bring my arm across my eyes. Calling Georgia didn’t help. It also definitely doesn’t help that Jasper’s friends are some of the nicest people I’ve ever met. They’re more accepting of newcomers than most of my own friends are.

I could call April, but no. She’s too busy with her wedding, and I don’t want to burden her. I’m stuck in Ren’s parents’ bedroom, sleeping on a bed that’s not my own, with Jasper sleeping in the room across from mine. All I want is to ask him about Melanie. More than that, I know I need to apologize.

I just don’t know how.