Saddle Up by CJ Bishop
CHAPTER 2
“The Ranch”
The ranch house loomed like a daunting figure as Heff jammed the Wagoneer into park and sat looking at the structure, in no rush to go inside. It was a beautiful house, and he’d envied his sister and brother-in-law when Mandy brought him here for the first time, just before his sixteenth birthday. Back then, the place held no value as a business, but Mandy and Frank had seen the potential and worked toward it. In the beginning, Heff had stayed on for a while to help out, rather than returning to Maine to their Aunt Ginger who had taken them in years ago when their parents died.
When the bulk of the remodeling was finished and there wasn’t much left for Heff to do inside the house—he’d proven he wasn’t much help outside—Mandy begged him to stay on anyway. Since her marriage to Frank Zayne, she and Heff hadn’t seen much of each other, what with the new couple moving to Ohio and getting settled into their new life together. Mandy missed her little brother dearly, and Heff missed his big sister. When they lost their parents, Heff was ten and Mandy sixteen. They had always been close but losing their parents had tightened that bond. And Mandy became his “cheerleader” when he decided to come out to the world. Mandy and their parents had always known he was gay, but it wasn’t until high school that he finally summoned the courage to live openly.
Being gay in high school hadn’t been easy, but he’d been lucky enough to escape any harmful bullying. Mostly just snide remarks. Even then, he knew how lucky he was. He’d heard horror stories of gay kids being raped and beaten… even killed. The verbal insults, he could handle.
Heff sighed and gazed at the house. He’d accepted Mandy’s invitation to stay on and had loved the idea of living on the ranch. Frank had no issues with his sexuality and was the best “big brother” a boy could hope for. He taught Heff about horses and how to ride; taught him the value and satisfaction of a hard day’s work. The man possessed a gentle and kind nature that had somehow evaded his younger brother.
Garland. Heff sighed again and closed his eyes, laying his head on the back of the seat. His first glimpse of Garland Zayne left him breathless, aroused, and enforced his will to stay at the ranch. Though a bit rougher around the edges than his older brother, Garland had seemed okay with Heff… at first. It hadn’t taken long to burrow beneath the man’s shell and see him for what he truly was. Although a godsend to Frank and the development of the ranch, he was—in a manner of speaking—Heff’s worst nightmare.
It hadn’t taken Garland but a moment to detect Heff’s crush on him. At first, he subtly ribbed Heff about it in a way that made Heff warm and tingly… as if he were flirting with him. Garland rarely missed an opportunity to strip off his shirt while working around the barn or with the horses. At twenty-one, the man was cowboy to the core; hard body, natural tan, hat, jeans, and boots. And Heff right at that age when his better half was always so eager to jump up and say howdy!
It was torture, but a good torture. Until it wasn’t.
When things went from playful flirting to… so much more—it happened in an instant. Much too fast. And then… Garland Zayne wasn’t so fun anymore. The light ribbing turned to veiled insults and avoidance. Before long, Heff couldn’t take it anymore and made excuses for why he wanted to return to Maine. It broke his heart to leave Mandy and Frank, but living in Garland’s presence became impossible… unbearable.
Heff saw very little of his sister and brother-in-law after that. When they saw each other, Mandy and Frank came to Maine. Heff never returned to the ranch… until today. Something he deeply regretted now. Had he known that in just a few short years they would be gone forever, he would have spent every available second with them.
Resentment toward Garland rose, and he pushed it back down; Garland didn’t force him to stay away. Maybe the man had become difficult to live with, but it was Heff’s choice to leave. He knew now that he shouldn’t have allowed Garland’s behavior to drive him away.
Too little, too late.
Tears filled up behind his eyelids and seeped from beneath his lashes. “Oh, God, Mandy… I miss you and Frank so much.” His chin trembled as a tightness squeezed his throat. “Why did you have to go? Why…” Why did you put that clause in your will? It made no sense. Heff just wanted to go home and grieve in solitude… but that wasn’t possible—not without a war.
Minutes passed before the tears subsided and Heff regained his composure—something he insisted on before facing Garland. Garland. God, what had Mandy and Frank been thinking, tossing him and Garland together like this? Though Heff never confessed to his sister the real reason he left the ranch, she was intuitive enough to know it involved Garland. During one of her visits to Maine, she’d tried to get Heff to tell her what happened, but he wouldn’t talk. Couldn’t talk about it. Heff suspected Frank had made the same attempt with Garland, who surely played the I don’t know what you’re talking about card.
Of course, he wouldn’t tell the truth. Maybe he didn’t know the truth—not all of it, anyway. Much alcohol had been involved. But Heff didn’t believe that—the man just didn’t want his brother or anyone else to know that he…
Heff nixed the thought and wiped the tears from his eyes before exiting the Jeep. The past was done and gone. He just wanted to settle this mess with the will and get the hell out of here—and away from Garland Zayne.
…………………………..
The inside of the large house was surprisingly warm, considering the lowery sky outside and the bitter chill on the breeze. There would be snowfall by dark. Heff felt it in the air as soon as he stepped out of the Jeep. The dark clouds on the horizon warned of a storm, bringing on instant anxiety. The night his and Mandy’s parents died, it had been storming badly; torrents of rain, raging wind, lightning, and thunder… cracking so hard it shook the ground. Heff and Mandy were home alone that night in a dark house, the power knocked out, waiting for their mom and dad who never made it back. Since then, Heff was deathly afraid of storms, developing an acute case of astraphobia that he never grew out of, as children often did. To this day, storms terrified him.
Heff passed through the dim entry hall and paused at the kitchen doorway. The kitchen had been Mandy’s favorite room in the house. Not surprising, as Mandy had always possessed a fierce passion for cooking. Before the funeral, Heff had stayed at a motel in town, and afterward, gone straight to Carl Foster’s office. This was the first time he’d been in the house in years. But everything came back as if he’d only been away for days; the aroma of fresh baked apple pie and homemade bread, the distant laughter of loved ones gathered around the dinner table.
Heff wasn’t aware the tears had returned until one rolled down his cheek and dripped off the curve of his jaw. How could Garland expect him to spend his life here, when he met his sister’s memory at every turn and heard her sweet laugh echoing through each room? How could Garland be here, surrounded by Frank’s presence, subconsciously expecting to come upon him at any given moment?
Taking a deep, controlled breath, Heff exhaled slowly and wiped his tear-streaked face. He passed by the kitchen without entering; it was the room that echoed his sister’s presence the strongest and he wasn’t ready to face that just yet.
Moving on, he hesitated at the living room and gazed deep into the room he had found most cozy and comfortable. Heavy drapes were drawn over the tall windows, casting heavy shadows into all corners. Heff stepped inside and walked to the stone fireplace, in which a low fire crackled, giving off a touch of warmth. An array of framed photos were displayed across the mantlepiece. Staring into his sister’s lovely blue eyes, an icy chill passed through Heff despite the warmth in the room, and he trembled. He hugged himself tightly, as if that could dispel the inner chill invading his bones. It couldn’t.
His gaze locked on Mandy and Frank’s wedding photo and refused to budge. Staring at his brother-in-law’s glorious smile, he wasn’t surprised by the ensuing ache as deep and heartbreaking as that ignited by the loss of his sister. Frank had been his brother… and the devastation caused by his death equaled that of his sister.
“Guys…” he choked softly, his voice catching. “Why couldn’t one of you have stayed?” He caressed the cool glass over the photo, tracing the precious faces frozen in time, and shook his head. “No, that wouldn’t have worked, would it?” He swallowed thickly, his eyes swimming. “A love like yours couldn’t have survived without each other.” His chest squeezed and throat closed as he took in the heavenly love in their eyes. Heff had never witnessed a love quite like theirs and didn’t expect to again. “You know the strange thing, sis?” he whispered shakily. “What scares me the most? Is that no man will ever look at me the way Frank looked at you.” His throat worked, the well of tears refilling. “You were special, Mandy. Special to everyone who knew you.” A low, shuddering breath escaped him. “Something I’ll never be,” he whispered and turned away.
He took one small step before realizing he wasn’t alone. He scanned the dark room and discovered a shadowed figure stretched out on the sofa a few feet away. Garland. Was he awake? Had he heard everything Heff said? Those words weren’t meant for his ears. They were meant to be spoken in the privacy of his grief.
“Garland…?” he spoke quietly, not wishing to wake the man if he was asleep. To Heff’s fear, he roused and turned his head, looking up. He hadn’t been sleeping. “Why didn’t you say something?” Heff asked stiffly. “Let me know you were there?”
“Wasn’t in the mood to talk,” he mumbled. “What difference does it make?”
“What difference does it make?” Heff returned with sharpness. “What I had to say was meant for Mandy and Frank. What right did you have to just lie there and eavesdrop? You—”
“Pardon me, but I believe I was here first,” Garland snapped, curling forward to a sitting position. “And in case you forgot, Mandy and Frank are dead. They can’t hear you.” Rising to his feet, he studied Heff’s strained face, then smiled. But it wasn’t a comforting smile. “What? You didn’t want me to hear your queer little sob story of how no man will ever look at you in that special way? Or maybe, what’s really got you fuming…” he murmured with a trace of arrogance that never failed to grind on Heff, “… is that you really meant to say, the thing that scares you most, is that I will never look at you that way.”
Heff’s jaw dropped. Did he just say that? Heff stared at him incredulously. “You… you can’t be serious? Where the hell do you get your delusions, huh?” He took a step toward the doorway, suddenly shaken. “I couldn’t care less if you never looked at me again. Period.”
“Yeah, well, we’ll see.”
“No,” Heff corrected. “We won’t. Because I’ll be on the first flight out of here tomorrow.”
His face turning to granite, Garland growled, “You’re not going anywhere. Not as long as that ridiculous clause remains in effect.”
Heff trembled. “What are you planning to do, Garland?” Heff chided. “Hogtie me and lock me in the basement?”
“I’ll do whatever the hell it takes.”
Heff shook his head slowly. “This isn’t the dark ages. You can’t force me to stay here.”
“You don’t think so?” Garland took an intimidating step toward Heff. “Try me.”
Releasing a pent-up sigh, Heff met the man’s stare head-on. “Listen. The last thing I want is for you to lose this place, honestly. I mean, in a way, it’s like home to me, too. But—”
“Yeah?” Garland butted in. “Then why the fuck did you leave? Do you have any fucking idea what that did to your sister?”
He was seriously laying it all on Heff? He was going to stand there and not take one shred of responsibility? Heff mused, of course, he wouldn’t take any of the blame. It took every ounce of Heff’s will not to call him on it, but he didn’t want to go down that road, not ever again.
Heff continued as if he hadn’t been interrupted. “Be reasonable, Garland. My whole life is in Maine. What if the situation was reversed, and you were expected to uproot your life and move to Maine so I wouldn’t lose everything? You wouldn’t.” He rubbed his damp eyes and returned to the fireplace. “We can’t both win in this deal. It’s one or the other. One of us will be forced to throw away everything we worked for.”
“That’s not true,” Garland said. “You’re a writer. Writers are flexible. You could work from here as easily as from there.”
“It isn’t just my writing,” Heff replied softly. “I have a home back there, and friends. You’re being unfair in expecting me to take this so lightly.”
“I never said you should take it lightly,” Garland growled. “But I can’t just pick up and move my business someplace else.”
He was right, of course. Heff understood that. But he wasn’t in the frame of mind for an in-depth discussion just now. He longed for his own bed, he was so tired, so drained… emotionally and physically. “I can’t talk about this right now,” Heff whispered wearily, a knot n his throat. “I just buried the two people I love most, and right now; I just need some rest.”
He left Garland standing alone in the dark and went in search of a bed, where—if there was a merciful God in heaven—he could fall asleep and just forget everything for a little while.