Unexpected Trouble by Lauren Wood
Steven
Ididn’t know what was going on with my neighbor, but she wasn’t taking the hint. She reminded me of Ashley in that way. No matter what I said to her, or how vile I acted, Tracy kept coming over, bringing me dinner, and trying to start conversations. I didn’t let the latter get too far, but it was becoming cumbersome. She wouldn’t let it go. I wanted her to, because if she was going to be living underneath me, I needed us to get along. We would get along better if we didn’t have to worry about getting along at all. If she could just stay in her own lane.
After about a month of her coming over constantly, I asked her why she was doing it.
“What do you mean, why?”
“I mean, why? I haven’t been nice to you or given you any reason to think that I wanted you to do this, so then, why?”
She shrugged. “Just because someone doesn’t want you to be nice to them doesn’t mean that you listen to them.”
I just shook my head. She came across as a little slow when it came to some things, or at the very least, dense. Tracy wasn’t slow or dense though. She knew exactly what she was doing. She was a web designer and after I’d gotten her application, I’d looked her up. She was damn good at it, and I was sure that she was extremely intelligent. But about this, she was incredibly obtuse, and I didn’t want to fight her about it.
So, I did like I always did, and I grabbed the plate from her hand. It would have been easier to refuse, if it wouldn’t have been so damn good. But, just like her job, she was damn good at cooking as well. Anna had been a great cook, and I missed a decent meal. I would get one from one of the restaurants in town once in a while, but it wasn’t the same. This was homemade and wonderful. She had to have known what she was doing, because she kept coming back, though now she wasn’t empty-handed when she did.
“So, I suppose you want to come in?”
I knew that she did, but she hadn’t asked. She had just waited, day after day, for me to invite her in. It was hard not to want to. There was always more than enough for just me. Was she wanting to eat this together, like a date? I wasn’t sure, but I felt like I needed to reiterate that I wasn’t interested in anything that she had to offer, save for whatever heaven was underneath the aluminum foil for dinner. I hadn’t even planned anything, already used to being taken care of again. It was nice, but I knew that it was dangerous as well. It would lead to other things that I wasn’t interested in. I shouldn’t let myself get roped in, knowing what was to come, but I couldn’t help it. She was really good at making dinner.
“Only if you want me to.”
I opened the door a little wider, but I didn’t tell her that I wanted her to come in. I didn’t know if I did or not, but I knew that I wasn’t going to put it into words. I didn’t look back, walking away from the door, because I was sure that she would follow. When she did, I said something about closing the door behind her, but she already had, long before I could give the order to.
“So, how are you liking Jefferson? I didn’t see you leave all that much the last week or so. Have you been feeling okay?”
She grinned and I asked her why she was looking at me like that.
“Because you care, and you noticed. That’s half the battle.”
I frowned and assured her that I didn’t give a damn one way or another. I wasn’t very convincing though, not when I had made such a statement and observation. It told her that I was watching her and that wasn’t something that she needed to know. It would just lead to more problems. I was sure of it. Tracy was the sort of woman that a man had to be careful with. She would wrap a man around her finger, and he wouldn’t even know what he was doing. She thought that she could do that to me too. I could see it in the persistence and confidence that never seemed to go away. Tracy needed to know that I wasn’t like other men. I was broken, and I wouldn’t give into her games.
“I don’t care though, Tracy; I just notice things.”
She agreed and didn’t say anything else. I was ashamed of myself because I almost caught myself apologizing. What was I even apologizing for anyways? It’s not like it was my fault. I guess, I could have said it better, but to say I was sorry would be to admit that I was wrong, and I wasn’t. I hadn’t said it well enough, but it was the truth. I didn’t care.
I looked away so that I didn’t have to read the expression on her face. It might have been the truth, but I already found it hard enough to be mean to Tracy. I wanted to be rude and make her piss off like the other women did, but then again, I didn’t. I found myself stilling my tongue far more with her than with anyone else.
“So, where did you learn to cook?”
She shrugged. “My grandmother, I guess. She was always cooking, and I was always over at her house. She was the one that had time for me, so we were always in the kitchen, cooking together. She said that you could always mend a fence with good food. I thought I would try it on you, even if I don’t know why it needs to be fixed in the first place.”
Broken. See, she could just sense that about me.
My head shot up when she said that. It was like she was reading my mind or something, and I found it rather creepy. I didn’t like any of this, the feelings that started to fill me up when she was around. Any feelings at all were just too much. Everything that had to do with women, sex, love, any of it, I was staying as far away from it as possible. I knew that I would have to, if I was ever going to keep my sanity. I couldn’t say for sure that I had, but it was as good as it was going to get.
“Well, your grandmother must have been one hell of a cook. You don’t act like you’re from the city, and you certainly don’t cook like you are from Chicago.”
She smiled and that beaming motion was hard to ignore. I think that was the point, and I think that she knew it. I was trying to look away and not get caught up in it, but I didn’t know if I was going to have a choice or not. Tracy was beautiful and though I was able to ignore it most of the time, up close and personal was a different story all together. It was in that moment that I wasn’t able to look away. She made me so damn nervous and considering that I never felt this way anymore, I didn’t like the feeling at all.
“What does that mean? How do city girls act?”
I shrugged because I really didn’t have an answer, just that they didn’t act like she did. I had seen many that had come through, and they were always a handful. I think Tracy could have been if she wanted to. She was definitely different her first month here, as aloof as I was, but something had changed. Tracy had warmed up, and it was the kind of heat that cast a glow on everyone around her. I was warming up because of her. That’s what it had to be, and I was already planning ways to combat it.
I didn’t know if I liked that or not. It sounded dangerous. Everything with Tracy did. She wanted the same things as Ashley did, but Tracy was more dangerous because I wanted to give them to her. That was something that could never happen. I could never allow myself to fall, love, or care. All that would happen is I would be hurt. I was always the one that got hurt in the end, and I just didn’t want to do it again. I had known since I lost Anna that I was never going to be able to do it again. I couldn’t put myself out there to love, only to be hurt instead. My heart couldn’t take it. Already the pieces were stuck together with glue.
I tried to explain it to her, that they were wild and didn’t have manners.
“Well, I guess that was a compliment then, so thank you.”
“It was.”
“Well, I am going to go. I don’t want to disturb your meal.”
“There is plenty for both of us if you want to stay. I mean, if you wanted to.”
It wasn’t a very nice ask and before long, I was sure that Tracy wouldn’t take me up on it. I hadn’t made it appealing because I thought that I didn’t want her to stay. I did though.
Damn it. She was already getting to me.
