Sing For Me by Rachel Schurig

Will

“Take a walk with me?”

She looks down to the beach, then back at me, before nodding once. I open the gate to the steps that will lead us to the sand and she only hesitates for a second before she walks through ahead of me.

I kick off my shoes and socks at the base of the steps. Eva is already barefoot and I’m hit with a memory so strong I have to stop to catch my breath—Eva sitting on my couch watching that stupid sci-fi show, her legs tucked up to her chest, pale pink toenails winking at me from under the fabric of her sundress.

“Will?”

“Yeah. Sorry.” I try to get my shit together, gesturing at her to choose a direction. We walk in silence for a few minutes, both of our attention on the stunning sunset over the ocean, while I attempt to drum up the courage to tell her what needs to be said.

Eva gets impatient. “Will—”

“Remember when we ate at Ollie’s and talked about our favorite burgers?”

She stumbles in the sand, caught off guard, but pulls away when I try to steady her—and God does that sting, her not wanting me to touch her.

“What about it?”

I swallow, trying to stay on track. “I told you that I had burgers at Sin Bin for the first time on tour with my uncles,” I say. “But those awesome burgers weren’t the only thing we found on that trip.” I take a deep breath, feeling the heat of her gaze on the side of my face. “There was this shitty little pub Reed kept talking about. Kind of a dive place but they served food and they sometimes had live music, so me and him and Wyatt went in. And that’s where I saw Skye for the first time.”

“Skye…the person you told me you lost?”

I remembered saying that to her, all those weeks ago when she told me she was too messed up for a relationship. I think that’s the only time I ever mentioned Skye, and I’m struck by a pang of regret that I kept so much closed off from Eva.

I nod. “Skye was singing when we walked in and I stopped in my tracks. Reed laughed at me, teased me about having a crush, but it was so much more than that. Her voice…” I shake my head. “She was amazing. She really was. I just knew, the minute I heard her, that she could really be something, you know? And I wanted my dad and uncles to sign her to their label.”

“How old was she?”

“Sixteen. Same age as me.”

Eva blows out a breath. “That’s pretty young to get started in the business.”

I wait for the familiar rush of guilt to hit me. But it seems to have lost some of its strength. “I begged them to invite her to their show the next night. I was positive that if they all heard her sing, they’d sign her. I was pretty obnoxious about it, but Reed backed me up, told the others she was that good.” I swallow. “Even after she sang for them, Daltrey and Lennon weren’t convinced. They knew she was talented, but they worried she was too young. But, ah, I managed to talk my Dad and Reed into it, and once they were on board, the others went along.”

The familiar regret zips through me. How might things have been different if I hadn’t pushed so hard? If I hadn’t been so insistent?

“It took nothing to convince her parents. Moving out to LA, working with vocal coaches, cutting a demo. They didn’t protest over any of it. They encouraged it. That should have been a pretty big red flag.”

“They weren’t decent people?”

I let out a bitter laugh. I’ve come a long way in forgiving my dad and uncles, even in forgiving myself, but I don’t think I’ll ever have it in me to offer up a shred of forgiveness for Joan and Roger Clayton.

“They were using her. Had been, for years. They used to have her busking out on corners when she was barely a teenager. Her dad was a drunk. Her mom just saw her kid as a ticket into the finer things in life. Especially when the famous Ransome family came calling. That woman had dollar signs in her eyes from the minute we approached them.”

“That really sucks.”

“Yeah. They didn’t look out for her. Hell, they encouraged her into some shitty situations. They hired this manager my dad would have never worked with—that was the first big alarm bell. The guy introduced her to a bunch of people she should have never been in the same room with. Got Skye and her mom into all these industry parties—”

“Her mom went partying with her? When she was sixteen?”

“All the fucking time.” I can hear the bitterness in my voice. “She knew Skye was using way before I did.”

“Shit,” Eva murmurs. “I’m sorry, Will.”

I nod, eyes fixed on the horizon. “When it became obvious she was on drugs, my family tried to get her help. Eventually they gave her an ultimatum—go to rehab or they’d pull her album. Her parents responded by shopping her to other labels.”

“They didn’t agree she should go?”

“What would have been the point of that? Her dad would have lost all that money for booze, and her mom would have lost her ticket to the Hollywood glitterati.”

“Jesus.”

“Yeah.” I let out a sigh. “We’d been together pretty much from the start. I’m not gonna lie—that was a huge part in me pushing them to sign her. I wanted her in LA with us. She was my first real girlfriend.” I swallow. “First love. We used to spend hours and hours playing together, writing music.”

“You wrote music?”

I give her a sheepish smile. “I wrote my first song when I was ten. I was going to be a rock star, just like my dad.”

She shakes her head. “I don’t understand.”

Because I haven’t gotten to the worst part yet. “The label eventually dropped her. I was so pissed at my dad—I thought she had a better chance of getting better if she stuck with us. But my uncles said it wouldn’t do her any good if they were enabling her. They couldn’t just stand by and support her financially while she wasted it all on drugs and self-destructed. Because it was obvious that was the track she was on.”

A sick feeling gathers in my belly. “She just got worse and worse. She had this shitty apartment in South Central, I used to sneak out to go stay with her, because my parents forbid me from going to that neighborhood. I figured if I was with her, she’d be less likely to use. But it never stopped her. I’d wake up almost every night and hear her on her phone with her dealer or some random asshole who could help her score.”

I hear Eva catch her breath next to me and I’m sure she’s thinking about my overreaction to hearing her on the phone with Luke that night. I had known I was being stupid even then, but I couldn’t shake the weight of dread that had settled in my belly when I woke up and realized she wasn’t in bed with me.

“Sometimes I’d wake up and she’d be gone. Sometimes she wouldn’t come back for days. When she died, I didn’t even know about it for almost a week. They found her in some abandoned building in Hyde Park.”

“Fuck,” Eva whispers. “I’m so sorry, Will.”

“It was…awful. It was such a stupid waste. She could have done so much.” I’m hit with a sudden wave of exhaustion. I don’t talk about this shit, ever, and it’s apparently taking more out of me than I anticipated. “Can we sit?”

“Sure.” We settle on the sand, Eva pulling her knees up to her chest, eyes fixed on the ocean. The sun is almost gone now.

“I can’t imagine going through something like that at eighteen.”

I stare at her, incredulous. “Eva, you lost your mother at eighteen.”

She nods. “And it was terrible.” She finally turns to face me and I see infinite tenderness in her eyes. “But she fought for us. Did every treatment the doctors could think of. She fought her heart out until the very end. I can’t imagine watching someone fade away and knowing they don’t want to be helped.”

There’s a lump in my throat as I nod. “Yeah. That was exactly how it felt. Like I should be helping her, you know? Always wondering what else I could do, how I could change her mind. How I could save her.”

She’s quiet for a moment. “I would think going through that at such a young age might sour a person on relationships.”

I somehow manage a short laugh. “Yeah. I had no desire to ever date again. Until I met this redheaded girl I couldn’t resist, no matter how hard I tried.”

“Will—”

I reach for her hand, nearly sagging with relief when she doesn’t pull away.

“I spent a long time feeling like I let down the person I cared about most. I didn’t have a lot of faith in myself to take care of someone else.” I swallow. “Thinking about you in the same industry, maybe meeting or even working with the same people who took advantage of her…” I squeeze her hand. “That terrifies me.”

“But you know that’s not the lifestyle I lead, right?”

I snort. “Yeah, I think I figured that out around the time I saw that picture of you in a Star Trek costume. Such a nerd.”

She reaches over and pinches my arm and I swear, no pain has ever been sweeter. Because it’s Eva, teasing me.

But I know I haven’t given her everything yet. And this woman deserves everything from me.

“I blamed my dad for a long time. My uncles too.” I close my eyes. “It was a little easier with Daltrey and Lennon, because they hadn’t wanted to sign her at first. I could convince myself they’d just been railroaded into it by their older brothers. That’s, uh, probably why I borrowed the money to open my shop from Lennon, and not my dad.” I swallow. “I was a petty little asshole, and I knew it would hurt my dad. I wanted to hurt him.”

“But didn’t they try to get her help?” she asks softly.

“They did exactly what they should have, once they realized she had a problem. It wasn’t about that.”

“Then why…”

“Because I blamed myself. And I was so fucking angry at the universe I needed to blame someone else, too.” I let out a bitter noise. “I was an asshole to people who loved me. I said terrible things. I shut my dad out when all he’s ever done is love me.” My voice catches and I have to take a minute before I can go on. “I talked to them this week. My dad and my uncles. I had a lot of apologies to make.”

Her fingers squeeze mine. “I’m glad you felt like you could do that. How did they react?”

My throat is tight again. “Way better than I deserved.”

“Your family loves you, Will,” she murmurs. “I honestly don’t think I’ve ever seen a family that loves each other the way you guys do.”

It’s quiet for a moment while we watch the waves. She hasn’t released my hand yet, which is a good sign, but I’m not sure how to get from clearing the air to begging her to please take my pathetic ass back.

“That’s what the band thing was about?” she asks eventually. “With your brother? You panicked about them trying for a career in music.” I nod. “And playing guitar, the night at the campfire, everyone was so shocked. You stopped playing after Skye died?”

“Playing guitar was my whole life. It was the only thing I’d ever seriously considered as a career. But I had a few hobbies, too. I’d always been into just about anything to do with art—painting and drawing and shit. So when Skye died and I couldn’t stand to pick up my instrument, tattooing seemed like the next best option. Because I sure as shit didn’t want anything to do with music. You might have noticed I don’t even have it on in the car.”

“I got like that, after the fire,” she says. “I couldn’t play. I didn’t even want to hear it.”

“Yeah, but it only took you a few months to get over it. I’ve been dragging this shit around with me for years.”

“And now?”

I’m pretty sure I hear a note of hopefulness in her voice. It gives me the courage to turn and face her and the minute I do, I’m struck all over again by how beautiful she is. The dying sun glints off her red hair, making it even brighter than usual. She’s wearing it in a messy bun high on top of her head, dozens of little wispy curls escaping to dance around her face in the wind off the ocean.

I have to touch her. I reach out and cup the side of her face, letting out a long, relieved breath when she leans into the contact. It strikes me, for the first time, that she looks thinner than she had the last time I saw her. Her face is pale, almost gaunt, and there are dark purple smudges beneath her eyes.

I did that,I think, my stomach turning. I hurt this beautiful girl.

“I’m so sorry,” I whisper. “I’m sorry I was such an ass. I’m sorry I didn’t just talk to you. I’m sorry—” my voice breaks with emotion. “I’m sorry I walked away.”

“You really hurt me, Will.”

“I know. I don’t ever want to do that again.”

The bright green eyes I love so much search my face. “Does that mean—”

“I don’t deserve another chance with you, Eva. I know that. But if you’re willing to give me one anyways, I promise to do everything in my power to make you happy.” I shake my head, knowing it’s not enough. “I love you so much and I just want—”

Her eyes go wide. “You love me?” she gasps, and I stare at her, bemused.

“Of course I love you.”

“But you never…you never said—”

“I was a fucking idiot,” I say bluntly. “I was a coward. But I’m done being scared, Eva. The only thing that can scare me now is losing you.”

“You haven’t lost me,” she whispers, and emotion explodes in my chest.

“I haven’t?”

She shakes her head, and I can see the beginning of a smile playing around her lips. “I’ve been right here, Will. Just waiting for you to figure out your shit.”

I bark out a laugh, so relieved and happy I can hardly believe the words coming out of her mouth.

“I did. I am,” I amend, because I know it’s not something that can be done in a day or a week. But I’m committed to getting there, to being a better man for her. I would do anything for her.

I bring my other hand to her face, cupping her cheeks. “I love you, Eva.”

Her smile breaks free and just like the first time, all those weeks ago in my shop, it feels like looking into the sun. Then she’s pressing her lips against mine and I swear to God I’m the luckiest man on earth. I get to pull this woman into my arms, get to kiss her, hold her, tell her over and over again that I love her. She gave me a second chance, and I swear to everything that matters to me on this earth I’m not going to screw it up.

Then she pulls back, ignoring my protesting groan, and it’s her turn to cup my face in her hands. “I love you, too, Will Ransome.”

Aw, hell. Maybe breaking down in front of my dad cracked some kind of seal or something, because my damn eyes get wet. I can tell that Eva notices, but she doesn’t say anything. Just presses her lips against mine once more.

Way too soon, she’s pulling back again, breathless, and I realize for the first time that there are other houses on this private beach, and I should probably not be grabbing her ass where anyone can see. Eva seems to have the same thought, because she’s giggling as she presses her forehead against mine.

“Did I ever mention that Marissa’s apartment opens up onto a patio right under my deck?”

“Uh, no?”

She’s still giggling and I find myself smiling, even though I have no idea what’s so funny. Eva just has that effect on me—her happiness makes me happy.

“So, her patio is right on the beach. And I’d bet a good sum of money she’s sitting out there right now watching us.”

I chuckle, sliding my hands from under her dress. “That’s fine, actually. We need to get going.”

Her eyebrows go up. “Going?”

I nod. “There was a lot of disagreement in my family this afternoon on whether or not you would need a grand gesture before you took me back.”

“Hang on—you talked about this with your family?”

“I wanted them to know I was coming over to talk to you. I was pretty nervous that I screwed it all up too badly, and I thought it might help me to know they were thinking about me.”

She’s silent for a minute, opening her mouth and then shutting it again before she finally shakes her head. “That might be the sweetest thing I’ve ever heard.”

I snort. “Yeah, because you weren’t there to hear how annoying they all were about it. Anyhow, they were arguing about grand gestures—”

“And I hope you told them I was a simple girl who didn’t need that kind of thing.”

I grin at her. “I did. But I didn’t tell them that I had a surprise in my back pocket just in case things went well.”

“What kind of surprise?”

It’s suddenly difficult to keep a straight face. She’s either going to love this, or she’s going to smack me—actually, she might just do both. “I called Luke yesterday. Explained that I was going to try to convince you to take me back and I needed his help with something.”

Her eyebrows go up. “And he agreed to that?”

“Well, first he told me he was going to hack into all my social media accounts and post photoshopped pictures of me in Wonder Woman cosplay if I ever hurt you again—” She erupts into giggles and I kiss the end of her nose, so fucking happy I can do things like that. “After that, he agreed to help me.”

“Help you with what?”

I can tell she’s getting impatient so I stand, pulling her up with me. “He called some of your friends and set up a campaign for tonight.”

She freezes. “A campaign.”

“Yes.”

“For us.”

“Uh huh.”

“Me and you.”

She seems to be having trouble wrapping her mind around this. “Me and you and Luke and your whole party, whatever that means.”

“You’re going to play Dungeons and Dragons with us. You.”

“Apparently I’m going to be an elf. Or maybe a mage? I can’t remember what he said.” I also didn’t understand most of it, but she hasn’t smacked me yet so I keep that to myself.

She’s staring at me like she’s never seen me before and her voice drips with skepticism. “You want to play D&D with my friends.”

I pull her into my chest, wrapping my arms around her lower back, overwhelmed by how completely right she feels there. “I want to spend time with you. So I figure I better start learning about all of your nerdy shit so you’re not leaving me alone whenever you go to comic-con or whatever.”

Her eyes are suspiciously wet but she’s grinning ear to ear. “Does that mean you’re going to watch Raider of Galaxies with me?”

“Um, I kind of have a confession.” I press a kiss to her lips, then another, just because she’s here and I can. “I’ve been watching that show all week.”

She gasps. “You have not.”

I nod, my expression solemn. “I really missed you, and having that crap on made me feel closer to you.”

“Aw, Will,” she laughs. “You’re a big old softie, aren’t you?”

I sigh. “Only where you’re concerned.”

“You know what I think?” This time she kisses me, and I’m reluctant to let her go when she pulls away. “I think you secretly love Raider of Galaxies.”

I laugh, slinging an arm around her and begin to walk back up the sand toward the house—where I can just make out the shape of Marissa sitting on her patio, watching us, just like Eva predicted.

“Will it help me get laid later if I admit to liking it?”

She snorts. “Buddy, you’re about to play a six-hour-long role-playing game with me and all my dorky friends just to make me happy—you’re going to get laid tonight.”

“Hell yes,” I say, then stop in my tracks. “Hang on, did you say six hours?”

She grins and she’s so damn cute when she’s teasing me. “Yup. And it’s too late to take it back because you love me.”

I grin down at her, amazed my body can contain this much happiness. “Damn right I do.”