Almost a Countess by Jenna Jaxon

Chapter 20

After a tedious day of riding in clothes that chafed and itched in all the wrong places, Finn had never been so glad to see the carriage sweep into the yard of The Red Lion in Doncaster. The thought of four more such days on the road had him reconsidering the merits of his disguise for the past hour, but for the moment, the prospect of shedding these uncomfortable clothes for a nightshirt of his own was extremely appealing. Of course, he’d still need to continue the disguise through dinner, but that was easily done with the freedom to come within sight.

The duchess and Dora had already descended from the carriage, so Finn gathered his skirts and held his breath. Earlier at one of their stops to change horses, he’d tripped going down the steps, ending up in the arms of the startled coachman. Finn prayed for better balance and emerged from the door. The driver grasped his arm, and Finn managed, more or less gracefully, to descend the two steps. He grinned and said in a high falsetto, “Thank ye, Marks,” before joining Dora and her aunt as they turned to enter the inn.

Another thing Finn had to get used to was that the duchess, and not he, was in charge. At the first coaching inn they stopped at, he’d naturally started into the inn to order drinks for them, but the duchess had stopped him, her hand like iron on his wrist.

“Mrs. Devereaux, allow me, my dear. You are my guest, after all. I will arrange the refreshments for the three of us.” Her glare would have made a general cower.

Finn nodded, chagrined. “O’ course, Duchess. Ye are too kind.”

After that he’d had to school his impulses to take the lead whenever they stopped. Pretending to be a woman gave one an education like no other.

Now on firm ground at the day’s end, Finn luxuriated in stretching his legs as they headed into The Red Lion. The servants’ carriage had already arrived, so their accommodations should have been readied for them. He for one would be happy to be able to undress and indulge in being a male once more. He glanced toward Dora. The only other thing he could ask for would some time to speak with her alone.

Their conversation throughout the day had been strained. The duchess’s presence meant they could speak of nothing more intimate than the weather or the health of her parents, so they were treated to the duchess’s recounting of Dora’s sister-in-law’s marriage and the nefarious schemes of Dora’s father. However, after so many hours in Dora’s presence, he wanted nothing more than the opportunity to talk to her about anything that did not include her family or how extraordinary the heat was this time of year. They had given their word not to kiss or indulge in other intimacies, not even the innocent hand-holding engaged couples were allowed. He’d noted, however, that they had not been forbidden to converse privately. He certainly didn’t have much hope of Dora sneaking away for any length of time so they could speak candidly, but a few minutes after dinner might be possible.

He and Dora followed in the duchess’s wake as she called for the innkeeper and made certain the rooms were to her liking. “I hope my servants were quite clear in my requirements, my good man.”

The proprietor, a Mr. Osborne, nodded his head so quickly Finn could have sworn he felt a breeze. “Yes, Your Grace. They gave me strict specifications, and I believe The Red Lion has met them all for you.” He started up a flight of stairs on the far wall, followed by their little procession. “Just this way. I’ll show you up.”

Finn brought up the rear, again watching his step. Though both men and women’s dress shoes had high heels, they balanced differently, as he’d found to his dismay earlier. And with his ankle still tender, he didn’t wish to turn it and aggravate it again.

Osborne led them toward the back of the establishment and opened the last door on the right. “This is our best chamber and parlor combination, Your Grace. It overlooks the woods,” he gestured to the good-sized window that did indeed have several trees growing right next to it, “so it is nice and quiet during the night.” He moved to a door on the right and opened it onto a spacious parlor. “This room should serve all your needs for meals or entertainment this evening.” He looked expectantly at the duchess.

“This will do nicely, Mr. Osborne. I thank you.” The duchess nodded her head graciously, the ostrich plumb in her hat waving regally. “Now, where will Mrs. Devereaux lodge?”

“This way, Your Grace.” He returned to the corridor and led them back toward the stairs. “If this chamber is acceptable to the lady,” Osborne opened a door to a smaller bedroom, but Finn nodded happily, for the room had a large double bed and looked out on the woods as well.

“I will be very comfortable here, Mr. Osborne. Thank ye, Duchess, for yer good care o’ me.” He smiled at her and nodded to the innkeeper. “Might I get hot water and a bathtub fetched? Traveling is sae wearing on one.”

“Of course, of course.” The little man nodded quickly again and continued down the corridor. “Your servants will be lodged here…” Mr. Osborne led the duchess away, but Finn waited a split second before grasping Dora’s arm and hauling her back into the room.

“Oh.” She staggered toward him, her eyes wide but sparkling with excitement. “I must go to Aunt Mimi. She’ll be calling for me in a moment.”

“Then give me that moment, I beg o’ ye, my love.” He pulled her closer, so the heady scent of roses enveloped him. “I’ve hungered for a private word with ye all day. Like sitting down tae a feast and being forbidden tae sample even one dish.”

“Then you’d best take your taste now, love.” She lifted her lips to him, and he willingly took the offering.

Sweet and soft, her mouth aroused him instantly.

“Dora!” The duchess sounded close, and they jumped apart.

“Can ye sneak away tae walk with me after dinner?” He brought her hand to his lips. “But a few minutes’ walk together this evening might help ease the longing to be with ye a wee bit.”

“I will try.” She squeezed his hand then darted out the door. “Coming, Aunt Mimi.”

Thank goodness for the concealing nature of his skirts. They hid well his advanced state of arousal, although he couldn’t wait to shed them, along with the false identity, and meet Dora as a man once more.

He relaxed his shoulders and sat at the dressing table to make some little repairs to his lip pomade. Dora was wearing as much of it now as he. If he closed his eyes, he could almost feel the touch of her lips on his, making his hunger for her soar. With a sigh, he opened them and hurriedly twisted the cap on the cosmetics jar. He’d need to avoid such indulgences if he wished to keep his word to the duchess.

The clock on the mantle chimed the half hour. He must tell Larkin to hold his bath until after dinner. He could not fathom undressing completely only to have to redress for dinner with the duchess. Life was certainly more complicated as a woman.

Dinner went smoothly, somewhat better than conversation in the carriage, because Dora plied her aunt with questions about the Season past in London. While her aunt had not attended many entertainments, she had heard all the gossip of the spring and summer and was more than willing to part with it. As Dora had said, they really needed to know what was what before being tossed into Polite Society without a clue about the latest scandal or the on-dit of the moment. So rapt at the intrigues of the London Season, Finn scarcely noticed the delicious dinner until his dessert plate was whisked away by one of the maids.

This might be his best opportunity tonight to get Dora alone.

“Larkin, would ye see tae the potboys bringing up hot water for my bath? I’d mentioned it tae Mr. Osborne earlier.” Strange to be giving orders to a lady’s maid, but in his current condition he had no choice. “While ye are seeing tae that, I believe I will take a short stretch o’ my legs around the woods while it is still light.” Thankfully, they had eaten early, and the sky was little more than a pale gray. A perfect time for a walk without prying eyes.

“Could I accompany Finn, Aunt Mimi? I am weary with so much sitting. I’m sure a brisk walk would do me a world of good.” Dora turned pleading eyes on her aunt.

Finn held his breath while the duchess drained her wineglass then set it in the center of her plate. “I have always believed exercise good for the young.” She stared at Dora, as if weighting something in her mind, then nodded. “I see no harm in it. However, you must return to our chamber at a decent hour, Dora. I do not wish to have trouble waking you in the morning.”

The duchess turned her gaze on Finn for a long moment. “I believe Dora will be in excellent hands with you, Lord Aberfoyle. You have borne all your trials with fortitude, and when the time comes, I will vouch for you with Lord Downing.” She rose and signaled to Marcella. “Help me to bed, Marcella. We have another long day of traveling tomorrow, and I am not as young as I once was.”

“You are just as young in spirit as you ever were, Your Grace.” Her maid took her arm and steered the duchess toward her chamber.

“Good night, Dora, Lord Aberfoyle. Remember, I need to awaken Dora early in the morning.” She turned back toward them. “Have a care to be quiet when you come in, Dora.”

****

Dora could scarcely believe her aunt’s words. Had Aunt Mimi just told her she could stay with Finn tonight? Her mouth dropped open, and she turned to Finn, whose face showed the same shock.

“I certainly took her meaning that way.” Finn came to her and took her hands. “Did ye?”

She nodded, excitement bubbling up within her. “It seems Aunt Mimi is granting us her blessing.” Dora glanced at the closed chamber door. “If we are to take a stroll, I suggest we do so now. It will look more natural if we then return and go to your room instead of this one.”

“Larkin is preparing a bath for me. Will she…”

“Larkin is loyal to me. Besides, she will know everything tomorrow anyway.”

Finn frowned. “She will? How?”

Dora laughed and pulled him toward the door. “Lady’s maids just know things. But they are extremely discreet. You needn’t worry about Larkin. Shall we truly stroll around the woods? I need to do something, walk, run, twirl around like I did when I was a little girl.” She suited the action to her words. “I can’t seem to stand still.”

“Then come wi’ me, love. The fresh air and the beauty o’ the woods at twilight are beckoning us.” He offered her his arm, but she shook her head.

“You’re a woman now, Finn. We must walk side by side, not arm in arm.”

“Another reason tae get rid o’ this disguise.” He dropped a kiss on her cheek. “I wish tae have ye properly on my arm.”

Dora opened the door and led Finn down the stairs and out the door toward the back of the Red Lion. The massive stables were off to the left, so they turned to the right, walking back along the side of the building until they stood on the ground below Finn’s room. The light had begun to fail, the shadows fading to black on the lawn at their feet.

“The twilight is on our side, at least.” Finn took her hand and led her into the woods just behind the inn. The trees, while thin near the building, quickly became quite thick. Just as they lost sight of the inn, Finn pulled her behind one of the stout oak trees. “No’ perhaps the most romantic o’ places, but I think it will serve.”

Startled, Dora froze. What did Finn mean to do out here? Dora peered around the woods, but with the gathering darkness, she couldn’t see very far. Still, this was hardly the place for a tryst, especially when they had a comfortable room in the inn at their disposal.

Finn adjusted his skirt then, taking her hand, sank down on one knee. “My dearest love, we’ve scarcely known one another a fortnight, yet I’m sure as I am that my name is Phineas Macdonald that there’ll ne’er be another woman for me. Only ye.”

He squeezed her hands and gazed into her eyes, the love shining there making her heart want to burst with joy. That look of absolute love that she’d longed to see was staring at her from Finn’s brilliant blue eyes. She wanted to weep with happiness.

“I have nae right tae ask ye, as I dinna have permission from yer father, and I am no’ even my own man until this charge is resolved, yet I canna rest until I know for sure.” The pressure on her hands increased. “We spoke once before o’ a proposal, but said I would ask ye again, and I realized I havna done sae formally. And this I must dae. Dora, will ye dae me the greatest honor, and agree tae be my wife?”

Tears of joy trickled down her face, but she shook them off and squeezed his hands back. “Yes.” Throat so thick she could barely whisper. “Of course, my love.”

They were actually, formally betrothed. Never again would she need to wonder if he would return to her or not. Or if his affection for her might disappear. He had answered her as surely as she had answered him.

Dora grasped his shoulders and raised him from the ground then threw her arms around him. Rising up on tiptoe, she pressed her lips to his, kissing him with an abandon that made her body flush with heat. This was the moment she’d been waiting for all her life, to kiss a man she loved and who loved her. Whatever other intimacies they might share, this was the pinnacle of joy she’d sought. And now found. “Truly, I will never change my mind. I wish to marry only you.”

As though her words broke something in him, a damn of pent-up desire perhaps, Finn picked her up and spun her around, laughing.

She joined in, throwing her head back like a child and letting the moment take her. She was his. He was hers. Nothing else in the world mattered.

He brought them to a gentle halt, clasped her head in both his hands, and lowered his mouth to hers. His lips were fierce, pressing kisses on her mouth, her cheeks, her nose, her eyes, down her neck. There he hit a spot that made little frissons of pleasure shoot all over her body.

She gasped as an unknown heat began to build within her, making her shift her weight from one foot to the other, seeking relief from a growing need she didn’t understand. “Finn,” she whispered, “I don’t know—Oh!” He’d sucked her earlobe into his mouth, and now massaged it with his tongue, making her move as in a sensual, silent dance. With each stroke of his tongue, her knees got weaker, her breathing became labored, and her core began to ache deep inside her.

“Dora?” With a groan, he moved back from her, and the pounding of blood in her ears eased a bit. Peering into her eyes, he seemed to be searching her soul. “Much as I desire ye, I think we should stop noo. More than this and I fear I’ll nae have the willpower tae restrain myself. We promised yer aunt we’d dae nothing during our journey and we must abide by that promise.”

“But we’ve already broken that rule when we kissed.” She leaned toward him, hungry for his lips once more, but he grasped her shoulders and held himself from her.

“Aye, we’ve broken that part o’ the promise, and I dinna wish tae be guilty o’ breaking my oath completely.” His eyes still hungered for her, but the determination in his face said he’d not be persuaded. At least not this night. “A wee bit o’ sin can be more easily forgiven than the whole o’ the wickedness.”

“But I don’t want to wait, Finn.” She met his eyes, hoping the only thing he saw in her face was the love she had for him. “Even Aunt Mimi has given us her dispensation, although I’m not exactly sure why. But she must think we should be together, else she’d have me locked in her room this minute.” She brushed the backs of her fingers across his cheek. “Don’t you see? We are meant to be together tonight.”

He leaned his forehead against hers, his urgent panting betraying how thin his control still was.

God knew hers was fraying.

“Just because we can dae something, disna mean we should.”

“What?” Confused, she took a step back. “Do you not want me, Finn?”

“Och, aye, I want ye, mo chridhe. More wi’ each minute that passes.” He cupped her cheek, his hand warm against her skin. “But putting our promise aside, there’s another danger we should no’ take lightly.”

“What danger?” Granted, she knew almost nothing about what when on between husband and wife, but no one, not Judith or Violet or her sisters, had ever said anything about the marriage bed being dangerous.

“Though ye are promised tae me, we are no’ yet wed. Neither is my life certain until I reach London and my uncle secures a pardon for my foolish act. Until then, I am no’ a free man.”

“All the more reason, my love, for us to be together tonight as man and wife. What if…” She paused, unwilling to say the words that would kill her should they come to pass. “What if something happens to you? Then I will at least have the memory of this night together with you.”

“What if when ye leave my bed, ye’re carrying my child?” The dire tone of his voice snuffed the incipient joy his words evoked.

“Then…I will have your son or daughter to comfort me, Finn. To carry on your name.” Why must he bring up such a horrible thought?

“Nae, Dora. What ye will have is a wee bastard tae raise, likely on yer own.”

She jerked her head away to gaze into his stern face. “What are you talking about?”

“We ar’na wed, Dora. Ye have only the promise of my name, no’ the protection o’ it. If I die before we marry, ye’ll be a ruint woman, yer family will disown ye, and ye’ll be left alone wi’ nothing, tae raise my bairn as best ye can.” He turned a sorrowful gaze on her. “I dinna want that for ye or our child. Dae ye?”

Blinking back tears, Dora shook her head. Much as she wanted to argue with him, there was no argument. “No, of course not.”

“Then let us return tae the inn, mo gradh. And I’ll make ye another promise.” He gently kissed her forehead. “We’ll have a grand wedding night—but after the wedding.”

Disappointed, Dora followed Finn as they threaded their way back through the trees.

Darkness had descended while they conversed beneath the leafy woods, but the lights shining through the kitchen window acted as a beacon, showing them the way back to the inn—and to their separate rooms.