Remember Ramsey by Cynthia Eden

Chapter Seventeen

Observation notes: I can’t shake the feeling that something is wrong. I found myself jumping today when a door slammed in the hallway on campus. I could swear someone is watching me.

Ramsey won’t like it if I’m afraid. He’s never wanted me to be afraid of him. And I haven’t been. But…

I am afraid of what he’d do…if someone tried to hurt me.

***

The door opened at four a.m. Whitney jumped up from her position on the couch and hurtled toward Ramsey as he crossed the threshold.

She was vaguely aware of Jimmy and Jag rising from their seats, too. She hadn’t just gotten one bodyguard. Jag had appeared at the beach house shortly after she and Jimmy had arrived. They’d refused to leave her side.

Ramsey’s hands closed around her shoulders before she could hug him. “No.”

The one word seemed to pour like ice water over her.

“Baby, I’ve still got blood on me. I can’t let it touch you. I shouldn’t touch you.” He let go of her shoulders. “I need to shower. Change.”

She wanted to hold him.

He looked over at Jag and Jimmy. “I’ll be with her. Go get some rest.”

They filed out. She watched as he locked the door after them. Set the alarm.

Her hands twisted in front of her. She wanted to hold him so badly.

But he was walking past her. “You should be in bed.” Ramsey’s gaze raked over her. Took in the sweats and loose t-shirt and her bare feet. “It’s late. You and the baby need rest.”

He stripped as he passed her. She realized that shirt wasn’t even his. Had the cops taken his clothing as evidence and given him whatever the heck he was wearing?

He headed into the bathroom. She followed slowly and heard the thunder of the shower as the spray of water rushed out. He’d seemed…cold when he came inside. His eyes had been too dark. Too hard. His whole expression had been locked down.

And he didn’t want to touch me.

She stood near the bathroom door. Waited. Waited and—

Screw this.

Whitney threw open the door and marched inside. Barely glanced at what had to be an insanely expensive bathroom set up. Ramsey had multiple shower heads pouring water down his super muscled, super hot body. And he was standing there with his hands slammed against the shower walls, with his head bowed, and that sexy ass of his toward her.

“I am pissed at you.”

His head shot up. He turned to look at her.

There was no shower door. Just a massive open structure. She stomped toward him. The steam from the water wrapped around her. “What were you thinking tonight?”

“Go to bed, Whitney.”

“Stop tossing out orders! You might be the big, tough guy that all the criminals fear, but in case you missed it, I am not a criminal! I’m not scared of you!”

“No.” He turned off the sprays. Moved toward her as water dripped down his naked body. “You’re not. Even when you should be.”

He was sporting a massive erection. Now? She grabbed a towel and threw it at him.

He caught it in one fist. One bruised fist.

“He could have killed you.” Her voice had gone husky.

Ramsey didn’t dry off. He did knot the towel around his hips. He stepped out of the shower and onto the lush mat. He towered over her, but Whitney didn’t back up.

“The plan wasn’t for me to die,” Ramsey told her.

“Oh, I get that your plan was to force a confession out of him. You knew he was behind the attacks, but instead of turning him over to the cops, you set up that whole scene so you could go at him.”

He shrugged. “The cops have their methods of interrogation, and I have mine.”

She could see a darkening bruise along his ribs. “He came at you with a knife!”

“And I took it away easily enough.”

“Dammit! Stop being so calm!” Whitney felt like she was about to break apart. “You could have died. Right in front of me.”

“Or worse…I could have killed…right in front of you.”

Her chin jerked up. “There is nothing worse than you dying in front of me!”

“You sure about that? Because I saw your face tonight, and the first time you walked into Hell. You looked at me and you were terrified.”

“Not of you!” Was that what he thought? “I didn’t want something happening to you! The fights are brutal and savage, and yes, they scare the hell out of me. I study violence, and I know that it can lurk inside of anyone, but in that cage, it’s different. There are no constraints. There is no control. And I don’t want anything happening to you!”

His eyes glittered. “Why not?”

Why not? “Are you serious right now?”

“Why does it matter so much to you that I stay safe?”

“Because—” She stopped.

“Say it,” he urged.

Whitney sucked in a breath. She didn’t speak.

“You remember going to Hell with me before.”

“I didn’t go with you,” she corrected. “I followed you.”

“You remember.”

A nod. Yes, yes, she did.

“How much more?”

“Bits and pieces. The more time I spend with you, the more the memories come back.” Like water dripping out of a crack in a dam. Only she had the feeling that dam might be close to bursting…

“You need to take some breaths. Getting upset isn’t good for the baby.”

“Like I don’t know that!” She spun on her heel and strode away from him. She also tried to pull in deep breaths. Lots of deep breaths. “You know what else isn’t good for the baby? Having his father hurt!” More deep breaths. More steadying breaths. More—

“When I went back inside Hell after you left…Axel Porter—he’s the bastard I was fighting—had been stabbed.”

She spun back around.

“Deep breath,” Ramsey reminded her.

“Do not piss me off more than I already am!”

“Someone hired him to pull the jobs he did. They had to pay him well. Crossing me isn’t something he would have done lightly. I’m not even sure he knew that he had crossed me until we were in the cage. That was why he pulled the knife. He knew if he didn’t kill me…” His words trailed off.

She swallowed. “You wouldn’t have killed him.”

His lashes flickered. “Sweetheart, he tried to burn down your house, with you inside. There is very little I would not do to him, so don’t pretend otherwise.”

She stared into his eyes and saw the truth.

“The person who hired him was in Hell tonight. There is no security footage. No phones are allowed there. The place was packed, but I will find him. Until then…”

She knew how his sentence would end. “Until then, my guard duty continues.”

He shook his head.

No? He was letting her go?

“I want to stay with you. I want you at my side because when it comes to your safety, I have to be there.” He closed the distance between them. Stared down at her. “I know I’m wrong for you.”

She couldn’t look away from him.

“But I need you. If you’re honest, you feel the same way. An attraction that’s not quite sane. A craving that never truly fades.”

It wasn’t about a craving. It wasn’t some basic need she couldn’t control. Yes, she wanted him. Yes, that desire was unlike anything she’d felt before, but there was so much more at play than just a need.

His hand curled under her chin. “I’m bad for you.”

“No.”

“We both know that I am. But you are the only good thing I have in my world. I will do whatever it takes to protect you.” His gaze dropped down her body. “Both of you.”

“While you’re doing that, who protects you?”

His stare lifted. “You did, tonight.”

“You shut me out. You wanted to keep me locked away—”

“Yes.” No denial. “You want the brutal truth? If I could, I’d lock you away from the rest of the world and keep you all to myself.”

Her brow furrowed.

“I want you to be mine. I need you to be. And I don’t want you hurt.” He drew in a ragged breath. And…

He sank to his knees before her.

Whitney’s hands fluttered around his shoulders. “Ramsey?”

His arms curled around her waist. His head pressed gently to her stomach. “When I thought you were dead before, my whole world went dark. I went dark. I didn’t care about anything. Without you, nothing could touch me. I felt nothing.” His head turned. His lips brushed tenderly against her belly. “I am not a good man, not on my own. The only time I’m good is when you are with me.”

She had to blink away tears. “That’s not true.”

He looked up at her. “Yes, it is. You saw me tonight when I didn’t think you were there. And if you hadn’t called out to me, I wouldn’t have stopped.”

She tugged on his arms, pulling him up toward her. “I know who you are.”

“Do you? Bit and pieces, that’s what you have. Not the full picture.”

Whitney shook her head. “I feel it. Inside. I know that you’re meant for me. I know that I—” She stopped. Just as she’d stopped making her confession before.

“What?”

Her lips pressed together as her lashes swept down to conceal her gaze. It was late. Her emotions were all over the place. They should go to bed. Cool down. Regroup and talk in the morning but…

“What were you going to say?”

Her lashes lifted. She stared into his eyes. “I love you.”

He took a step back. “Whitney…”

“Don’t tell me how I can’t know that I love you. Don’t tell me all the reasons that this is crazy. Believe me, I get that. A few days ago, you weren’t in my life. A few days ago, you seemed like a stranger.” She lifted her hand and touched her heart. “But I feel it. It’s like part of me knew all along and was just waiting to have you back with me again. I love you, and I wouldn’t love some twisted bastard who was a monster. I would love a man who was strong and fierce and who protected those who mattered to him. That’s who you are. That’s who I—”

His mouth took hers. His lips crashed onto hers and the kiss was burning with desire and a fierce intensity that demanded a response from her—a response that Whitney was only too happy to give him.

She loved Ramsey. Complicated, maddening, and confusing—she loved him.

“I have always loved you,” he growled against her mouth. “Always.”

What? He—

He lifted her into his arms. Her legs automatically locked around his hips. His towel had fallen, and the thick length of his cock pushed against her. She had on loose sweatpants—and the thin fabric was just in the way because she wanted Ramsey inside of her. She wanted him thrusting deep and holding her and saying that he loved her over and over again.

His tongue slid into her mouth. His hands were so careful on her body. He walked across the bedroom and lowered her onto the bed. He stripped her—and his fingers were shaking. She stared at him and knew there was no way she could ever want anyone more than she wanted him.

Ramsey didn’t scare her, but the way she felt about him? The emotions that wanted to consume her? Their intensity did. Because Whitney wasn’t sure what she’d do if something ever happened to him…

He wasn’t in my life days ago. How can I be this deep into him already?

He tossed away her clothes. His hands worshipped her body, only to be followed by his mouth. Lips and tongue. He had her twisting against the bedding and grabbing tightly for the covers, and when his mouth slipped between her legs…

Her head pushed back against the pillow. “Ramsey!”

He licked and stroked and had her going wild beneath him. He knew exactly what she liked. Every move was designed to drive her closer and closer to the edge. And just when Whitney was sure that she couldn’t handle more…

The climax swept over her. The release quaked through her body, and he lapped it up.

Her breath heaved in and out. Her eyes were on him, and she saw the savage smile of satisfaction that curled his sensual lips as his head lifted.

“You’re delicious.”

His words sent a shiver over her.

Ramsey stretched out on the bed beside her. “Get on top, baby. Tell me how deep to go.”

She was still trying to catch her breath. But she knew exactly how deep she wanted him to go—and where she wanted him. Whitney rose to her knees. Inched toward him. Her fingers slid over his chest. Over the bruising on his ribs. Her head bent and she pressed a tender kiss to his skin.

His breath hissed out.

But she was just getting started. Her mouth trailed carefully over him. Kissing his bruises. Whitney wished she could take his pain away. Ramsey had known so much pain in his life. Nothing had ever been easy for him. He’d had to fight for everything that he possessed.

Her fingers slid around his cock.

His powerful body jerked. “Whitney…”

“Let’s see how deep you can go…” Her mouth closed around him. At first, she just took the tip of his cock into her mouth. Then she pulled him in deeper. Her tongue licked and she sucked and his rough growls just drove her on. He’d given her so much pleasure. She wanted to do the same for him.

His cock was long and thick and wide in her mouth. With every movement of her mouth, arousal pulsed through her. She wanted him to lose his control and—

His hands were on her. “Up.” Guttural.

She gave him another lick, then lifted her head.

“In. You.”

He had been…in her mouth.

But he was lifting her, making her straddle him, and the heavy head of his cock pushed at the wet entrance to her body. She was so ready that he slid right inside of her. His fingers rubbed over her clit.

“Ride,” he ordered.

She pushed up. Down…

And was lost. But he was, too. She knew it. They pushed toward release. Their bodies heaved together, and there was no stopping. She couldn’t take her eyes off Ramsey, and when she came, she was staring straight into the darkness of his eyes.

He shoved upward. Wrapped his arms around her. Pulled her against him.

When he came, he was kissing her.

***

A phone was ringing. Ramsey opened his eyes and stared up at the darkness. Whitney snuggled closer to him.

I love you.

The phone rang again.

He didn’t want her waking up. She needed her sleep. Carefully, he eased from beneath her and made his way to his study. The phone that was ringing was one of his backups. Only a select few had the number.

“Do you know how late it is?” Ramsey asked when he answered.

“Yes, well, if you weren’t out pulling some cage fighting bullshit and getting hauled in for chats with the cops, I could have talked to you earlier. As it is, I had to wait until you were back home…”

Cyrus. “You fixed the laptop?”

“Yeah, yeah, I did. But you got more worries than that.” A rough exhale of air. “You remember a while back when you got that lovely visit from the Feds, and a woman named Imari Caddel burst in your bar?”

“I thought she was working with you.”

“She was…then. Now she’s some kind of free agent, and the woman tried to seduce me.”

His lips curled. “Well, good for you.”

“No, not fucking good for me. She was using me. She wanted intel on you.”

His shoulders stiffened. “Now you have my attention.”

“Well, I certainly hope so. Look, I screwed up, okay? She realized I was trying to protect you. She gets that we’re working together. I don’t know who sent her, but you need to be alert.”

He was always alert. “I’m assuming you’re on the hunt for her boss?”

“Damn straight. Just because she is the sexiest woman I’ve met in years doesn’t mean I’ll overlook this BS. No one plays me.”

Ramsey glanced over his shoulder. “I want the laptop.”

“Good to know. Because I’m so helpful, I’m putting it on your doorstep right now. You’re welcome.”

The guy was outside? No alarms had been triggered on the property.

“You get that she loves you, right?” Gruff, from Cyrus.

He could hear Whitney’s voice in his mind. I love you. “Yeah.”

“Excellent. And, no, I didn’t read all the entries she had on you. When things started to get juicy, I stopped.”

“Cyrus.”

“What? You know I’m a curious bastard. At least, I stopped.” A pause. “And you’ll do what you need to do?”

Tear apart the town to protect her? Destroy everyone in his path? “Absolutely.”