Mistletoe Season by Michelle Major

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

ANGIENTERED MARIELLA’Sstore a few days later, a stack of flyers promoting next week’s holiday dance in her hand. She’d already distributed one batch to local business owners, but several had called and texted asking for more.

Avery was handling online ticket sales through the mayor’s office. She’d reported that they’d already sold enough to cover their expenses and it seemed promising that they’d be in a position to make a hefty donation after the event. Angi appreciated that at least one area of her life seemed to be on track.

She smiled at two customers perusing a rack of dresses—a mother-and-daughter duo based on the family resemblance. If only her relationship with her mom could be that simple. Other than family trips to visit relatives along the eastern seaboard, Angi couldn’t remember ever doing something with her mom just for fun.

Oh, they’d had the requisite shopping trips during Angi’s teen years for clothes and prom dresses. Her brothers and dad had ensured that the energy in the house was predominantly masculine, but her mom made sure the boys grew up knowing they had to give Angi her privacy and, more importantly, put down the toilet seat after their time in the bathroom.

But even shopping with her mom had been a lesson in efficiency instead of a fun bonding time. The restaurant and Bianca’s responsibilities there had always been a factor. She’d have an hour or two between the lunch crowd and dinner rush during Il Rigatone’s heyday. No time to stop for ice cream or to browse for something other than what was essential during any particular excursion.

If Angi wanted quality time with her mother or to have a real conversation, it had to happen in the kitchen. Maybe that’s why cooking was such an inherent part of her now. She couldn’t imagine a life that didn’t revolve around food, despite her concern about missing out on things with Andrew because of her job. Her multiple jobs.

Mariella approached from behind the counter after ringing up a customer. “If you tear that to shreds, I hope it means you’re going to buy it.”

Angi looked down, surprised to find a scarf from a nearby display held tightly in her hand. She’d placed the promotional flyers on a shelf so she could try on one of the flowery prints as she waited for Mariella to finish the sale. Now her fists were clenched around the silky fabric.

She sighed and gentled her hold on the scarf. “I might need a stress ball instead of a scarf,” she admitted.

“Unfortunately, not something I keep in stock.” Mariella’s gaze clouded for a moment. “I should think about ordering some. For myself more than anyone else.”

Angi smoothed out the scarf and hung it back on the hook. “Maybe you won’t even notice Alex Ralsten is in town.” She picked up the stack of flyers.

“You grew up here,” Mariella observed as they walked toward the counter. “Are there people from your childhood that you try to avoid?”

Angi snorted, then tried to hide it with a cough. “Almost all of them,” she said after a contemplative moment. “I don’t like the person I was back then, and a lot of the people who were my friends haven’t changed much over the years.”

“How’s that going for you?” Mariella arched a brow. “The avoiding old friends in a town this size.”

“I work at a restaurant on Main Street. Not only do I have to see those people, I have to wait on them and make small talk and act like their petty digs about what I’ve done with my life don’t bother me.”

“But they do?”

“I let them,” Angi admitted.

“Now imagine that the people you didn’t want to see weren’t jerks. You were the jerk, and you ruined their life and your own in a very public manner.”

“Do you remember how I acted toward Gabe when we first started working with him last summer?” Angi’s face heated at the memory.

“You weren’t kind.”

“I was embarrassed and defensive,” Angi clarified. “He’s the person I humiliated in a very public way. He thought of me as a friend and I turned on him because the little jerks I wanted to impress expected me to.”

“That’s rough.” Mariella took the flyers from her hand and placed them next to the cash register. “And now you’re fake dating.” She gave a harsh laugh. “Or maybe it’s real dating by this point. Either way, I don’t see that happening with me and Alex.”

“You don’t have to fall in love with him. But take a lesson from my failure. Don’t be a jerk. You made a mistake that impacted both of you. He doesn’t have to forgive you for it, but don’t take out your humiliation on him.”

She’d been fiddling with a pair of earrings hanging on a turntable, her gaze glued to the little gold hoops because it was too difficult to look at her friend and admit how she’d failed so miserably. When Mariella didn’t answer, Angi finally looked up, unsure what had caught the other woman’s attention.

“Are you in love with Gabe Carlyle?” Mariella asked in a hushed tone, staring at Angi with wide eyes.

“I didn’t say that.”

“That’s not an answer.” Mariella waved and called goodbye to the mother-daughter duo.

“We have an arrangement. Mutually beneficial through the holidays.”

“Still not an ans—”

“Yes,” Angi said on a hiss of breath. “It’s ridiculous and stupid and bound to lead to a broken heart, but I have totally fallen for that man.” She squeezed shut her eyes, again bracing for Mariella’s reaction.

Silence.

Finally she peeked out of one squinted eye.

Mariella was smiling at her.

“Stop,” she muttered.

“You’re in love.”

“With a man who is leaving town as soon as his mom gets here.”

“Because he doesn’t know how you feel. You have to give him a reason to stay.”

Angi shook her head. “I’m not a reason to stay. I’m a thirty-year-old woman doing a job I hate and living with my overbearing mother while raising my son, who is still struggling and I have no idea how to fix his problems or mine.” She pressed a hand to her stomach. “I’m a reason to run the other direction as fast as he can.”

“You love him,” Mariella said. “You make him happy. That’s a reason to stay and fight. For both of you. All the other stuff will work itself out.”

“How can you be so optimistic about my life and so down on your own?”

“Because I’m a recovering train wreck,” Mariella answered immediately. “You’re a good person, Ang. You have a great kid. You deserve happiness. Why shouldn’t it be with Gabe?”

“I was horrible to him when we were younger. He knows the worst part of me. And I’m sure he won’t stay in Magnolia once his mother arrives. As far as Gabe is concerned, what’s between us is for show in town and so that we can mutually scratch an itch in the bedroom.”

Mariella leaned forward. “You’ve had sex with him.”

“Yes,” Angi said, looking away.

“You’re blushing. I bet it was great. Was it great? Hot? Was he amazing? Let me live vicariously through you. Please just tell me something so—”

“The sex was amazing.” Angi yelled the words like an accusation.

At that exact moment, the door opened.

“Welcome,” Mariella called cheerily, then grimaced at Angi. “Maybe they didn’t hear.”

Meredith Ventner walked around a shelf of candles and bath products, a medium-sized mutt following close at her side. “Who’s having amazing sex?” she asked with a grin. “Carrie and Avery always get the town gossip first. I’m going to scoop them on this.”

Angi whirled to face the pixie-sized dog rescuer. “You can’t tell anyone.”

“Is the dude married?”

“Of course not.” Angi shook her head. “I wouldn’t do that.”

“It’s Gabe,” Mariella volunteered.

“But why is that news?” Meredith gave a little tug on the leash when the dog hesitated. “I thought you two were dating.”

“Fake,” Mariella said with a wink.

“Big mouth much,” Angi muttered.

“To appease her mom and his grandma.” Mariella looked up toward the tin tile ceiling. “Rest her soul.”

“Can we talk about something else?” Angi crouched down to pet the dog. “Who’s this little guy?”

“That’s Princess,” Meredith said, humor lacing her tone. “She belonged to an older gentleman who wasn’t able to care for her. When she came to us, her fur was pretty matted and her teeth were in bad shape. She’s almost eight, which isn’t especially old for a Yorkie mix, but she needed some TLC and work on her manners.”

The dog turned her head and politely licked Angi’s hand, as if thanking her for the attention. “I think she has wonderful manners,” Angi said. Andrew would love a dog like this. He’d love any dog. When Emma had adopted her labradoodle, Ethel, over the summer, Andrew had spent hours playing with the sweet animal in the inn’s big backyard.

Every kid should have a dog or cat or something to love and help take care of. Angi’s old apartment hadn’t allowed pets, and her mom had never wanted animals in the house.

Her son was stuck wishing and hoping for something he’d never get.

Just like Angi.

Except she could have a dog. Her mother might not like it, but there were plenty of things her mom didn’t approve of in Angi’s life at the moment. And if Bianca was so against it, Angi could rent a place of her own, one that took pets.

As she continued to stroke the animal’s small head, her heart seemed to expand in her chest. “Is she available?” She glanced up at Meredith to find the woman staring at her with a speculative stare.

“When I brought Ethel around the first time, you were riding on the no-pet bandwagon,” Meredith reminded her. “Remember that dogs are a big commitment, even a mature one like Princess. Yorkies can live into their teens. This isn’t something you do on a whim.”

Angi’s face heated. She knew Meredith’s job was to protect the animals that came to her shelter, but it stung to be told outright that she might not be a good fit. “It’s not a whim.”

“It’s a distraction,” Mariella offered, not very helpfully in Angi’s opinion. “Do you have a question about sizes?” she called to a younger woman who’d walked in while Angi was petting Princess. “I can help with that.”

Angi straightened as Mariella moved toward the customer. “It’s not a whim,” she repeated, meeting Meredith’s assessing gaze. “Or a distraction. I haven’t shown much strength in making my own decisions or acting like an adult lately.”

Meredith’s features gentled. “You’re taking care of your mom, rocking the single mom deal, running the family business and helping at the inn. Tell me what’s more adulting than basically holding down four full-time jobs?”

“Not a lot, but I’m kind of failing at all of them. I’m letting what other people want or need dictate my choices. I’d like to choose something for myself.” She smiled down at the animal. “I choose Princess.”

“ISSHESOFT? What’s her favorite toy? Do you think she’ll like me?”

Angi turned to smile at Andrew, trying not to let her nerves show. “I’m sure Meredith will give us all the details. Of course she’ll like you. But remember that owning an animal is a big responsibility, Drew. A dog isn’t a toy that you can put up on the shelf when you get tired of her. It’s a big commitment.”

“I know,” the boy answered. “Can she sleep in my bedroom?”

“We’ll see.” Angi looked out the window again as they came to the Furever Friends sign, decorated with garland and a bright red bow.

“Was that speech more for him or you?” Gabe asked quietly as he steered the truck down the long, gravel drive that led to the local animal rescue.

“I’m not sure.” Angi clasped her hands together in her lap.

Gabe’s mouth curved at one end, but he didn’t say anything more.

“Goats,” Andrew called out excitedly as they approached the red barn with large pens on either side. “We saw the goats when I came here for the school field trip. The one named Darcy was my favorite. Do you think he’s still here?”

Gabe parked the truck next to a silver station wagon. “Why don’t you take a look?” he told Andrew with a nod. “Your mom and I will be there in a minute, and then we can go meet this lucky Princess dog.”

Andrew scrambled out of the truck with lightning speed, like he was afraid Angi might tell him to stay.

In truth, Angi was too riddled with anxiety to say much of anything.

“It’s a dog.” Gabe reached across the console and covered her hands with his. “You can handle a dog.”

His skin was warm, especially since she felt chilled to the bone. Andrew had been the one to ask Gabe to join them on this trip, and Angi was grateful for his steady presence. It had seemed easy enough to commit to an animal when Princess had looked at her with those big brown eyes, but the reality was a little different.

“What makes you think that? I’m not handling anything right now with any success. Making a hash of my own life is bad enough. But this is a living, breathing animal. I can’t screw it up.”

“You won’t,” he promised.

“How do you know?” She turned her hand over in his and linked their fingers. “Even Meredith seemed to have her doubts. The only thing that’s going well for me right now is that I have a great boyfriend.” She gave him an arch glance. “And our relationship is pretend.”

“Our friendship isn’t fake.”

“You’re leaving,” she reminded him, unsure why that mattered at this moment. Somehow it did.

He didn’t deny it, and oh, how she wanted him to deny it.

“You’ll be so busy with Princess that you won’t even notice.”

It felt as though her heart was cracking, a small fissure but one that would let in the damp and cold until she was nothing other than a freezing speck in the night wind. She wouldn’t let Gabe see that sad, pathetic part of her. He owed her nothing. They’d made no promises beyond the season. And he had become her friend in the past few weeks, one of her best friends.

It didn’t matter that she wanted more. When the magic of Christmas was packed away, she’d put her love for him up on a high shelf, as well. It would stay in the dark gathering dust until she forgot how much it meant in this moment. Until she could ignore the rest.

She swallowed hard and pasted a smile on her face. No point in even responding to his comment, not when trying to make a witty comment might reveal too much. It was easier to ignore the inevitable. “The one bonus is that my mom is so mad at me for telling Andrew about the dog before checking with her that she hasn’t mentioned the Wildflower Inn or the changes I made to the Il Rigatone menu once in the past twenty-four hours.”

“Small favors,” he said gruffly. Something in his tone gave her pause. Had he expected her to respond in a different way? Gabe didn’t seem like the type of guy who’d take pleasure in a woman pining after him for no reason. He was too honorable. Maybe he finally realized she truly was a big heaping holiday mess. But the new year was coming, and Angi was going to make some changes, even if the things she wanted most were out of her control.

“And I put in an application to rent a small house a few blocks from the elementary school. Meredith told me about it. She’s friends with the owner, and it’s pet friendly.”

“Then let’s go meet your new dog.”

She got out of the truck, flexing her fingers which were still cold despite the temperate weather. Normally it hovered in the low fifties during December in Magnolia, but this week had been unseasonably warm. At first, Angi had worried that people wouldn’t continue to come to events downtown. She’d only spent a couple of winters in New York, but bundling up and braving snow and ice had been a December tradition she’d quickly grown to enjoy.

Christmas on the Coast felt different, but instead of shoppers and visitors shying away, the warm weather brought out the crowds in droves. Avery had called yesterday to report that they’d sold out of tickets to the dance. The event would be full capacity, a mix of locals and visitors from neighboring towns.

Angi knew from Emma that the inn was booked through the new year, and Angi had made enough profit on the events she’d catered so far this month to have plenty to give Andrew a magical Christmas morning plus pay the deposit on a new place.

So maybe things weren’t as dire for her future as they seemed.

“Mom, can we get a goat when we move?”

She gawked as Andrew ran up to her, his eyes shining and his cheeks flushed with excitement. “You’re kidding, right?”

“I’d take care of it. Come on, Mom. Please.”

Okay, maybe not dire. Still, she was hanging by a thin thread because all she wanted was to let out a scream, turn and walk to the beach, only a couple of blocks from Meredith’s property, and hurl herself into the pounding winter surf. Was it possible the waves could wash away some of the stress she couldn’t manage to let go of on her own?

She was trying to do the right thing. To make Andrew happy. Her mother happy. Prove her worth to the town beyond her identity as Bianca’s daughter. Would it ever be enough?

Did any mother feel like they were doing enough?

“You haven’t proven yourself as a pet owner yet.” Gabe placed a large hand on Andrew’s shoulder and gave a squeeze. “Let’s give your mom a break, buddy. She’s really going out on a limb. Princess is going to be a transition for all of you, and you know dogs are pack animals.”

“Yeah,” Andrew agreed, turning to gaze up at Gabe. “What does that mean?”

“Well, every pack has an alpha. The leader. A person that all the others look up to.”

Gabe darted a glance at Angi.

“Princess is going to be the one to decide where she fits in, and she’ll choose her person. The one she’s most loyal to and bonded with. Often, dogs pick the person who does the most training with them or sees to their needs. Food. Walks. Making sure they have fresh water.”

“I can do those things,” Andrew offered.

“I know you can,” Gabe answered. “The question is whether you will. If your attention is caught on every shiny new goat that crosses your path, Princess might sense that. She might know you aren’t completely devoted to her the way she wants to be with you.”

“I am devoted. I promise.”

“A good place to start is meeting her, and paying close attention when Meredith goes over her training.”

“Welcome,” Meredith called from the open barn doors at that moment. “Andrew, are you ready to meet Princess?”

“Yes,” the boy whispered, and then gave Angi a hug so fierce it made her eyes sting with tears. “Thank you, Mom. I’ll take care of her. I’ll be the alpha, and I won’t bring up goats again.”

“Princess is going to love you,” Angi said as she hugged him back. “You can run ahead with Meredith and we’ll be right there.”

The boy ran toward the rescue owner with an excitement Angi hadn’t seen in him for a long time. She clutched a fist to her chest and smiled at Gabe. “You forgot to mention scooping poop.”

“We’ll cover that on the way home, once he’s fallen in love.”

“How do you know so much about bonding with animals?”

“My mom got me a dog for my birthday one year, but her next boyfriend hated animals and made me give it away.”

“I would never do that.”

“I know,” he said as if he were soothing her. “You’re a good mom, Ang. You’ll show Andrew how to take care of the dog and you’ll both fall in love.”

Angi laughed, although it came out sounding more like a choked sob. Handling the hard parts after falling in love. Wasn’t that just the way of it, and not limited to cleaning up after an animal? Angi would happily take all of Gabe’s tough stuff at the moment if only he’d be willing to share it with her.

He knew so much about her, and maybe that was part of the problem. What man in his right mind would sign up for the mess she’d revealed to him from the start? A part of her—the girl who’d played make-believe with her dolls as a kid, where Barbie had always ended up married to her perfect Ken—wanted a do-over. She’d shave her legs and curl her hair and spritz a subtle scent on her throat and wrists. He’d take her out to dinner at some fancy restaurant, and she’d smile and flirt and find excuses to touch his arm.

Any excuse to touch him.

But the part of her—the biggest part—who lived in reality knew that even a do-over wouldn’t make it better. And she didn’t really want that kind of better anyway. If she wanted to live the life she craved and step fully into herself, there was no point in playing pretend. Her reality was complicated and messy. No amount of expensive perfume would change that.

Just like no amount of wishing or hoping would change the fact that Gabe would leave Magnolia in the new year.

Taking her heart with him.

“It meant a lot to Andrew to have you come with us today,” she said, giving at least a slice of the truth. “Thank you.”

He studied her for a long moment, as if trying to decipher some hidden meaning in those words. Then he nodded. “I’m glad to be here.”

“Mom. Gabe.” Andrew’s voice called from the barn. “Come on. I’ve already taught her to sit. You have to see. She’s the smartest dog ever.”

Angi let the happiness in her son’s voice soothe the ache in her heart. “We’re coming,” she answered, and led Gabe toward the open barn doors.