Broken Bonds by Keri Arthur

Chapter Fourteen

What happened after that was all a bit of a blur. I remember finding my spell stones and tucking them safely into the backpack. I remember the two of us stumbling back through the forest, my arm around Monty’s waist and his around mine in an effort to keep us both upright.

I remember voices, and being picked up. Strong arms holding me close, the scent of musk and man filling my nostrils and warming my heart. Then nothing but the oblivion of sleep.

When I finally stirred, it was in a familiar bed—Aiden’s rather than mine. No real surprise, given he was the one who’d carried me the last half-kilometer from the altar site. And yet there was a part of me that couldn’t help but wish I’d woken in the hospital. The confrontation that had to happen would have been easier on neutral ground rather than in a place that held so many happy memories.

I pushed the thought away and stretched lightly. Various muscles twinged, but there’d been no major wounds or damage done this time. Even the armed idiots in my head had eased off, though they hadn’t entirely gone.

The wind howled around the building, and rain pelted the wide expanse of glass to my left. The room was dark, but dawn wasn’t all that far off—the song of the unseen moon was faint and distant, which meant it was riding low on the horizon.

The scent of coffee rode the air along with the faint wisps of wood smoke. The fire was ablaze—a good thing considering it was cold enough up here for my breath to condense.

I flung off the blankets, then rose and reached for the thick woolen sweater I used in place of a dressing gown. It was several sizes too big and hung on me like a sack, covering me from neck to knee. Sexy it wasn’t. But sexy wasn’t going to help right now.

I shoved my feet into my Uggs, then reached out for Belle.

How’s Monty?

He slept almost as long as you did.

And how long was that?

Thirty-five hours. You did forty-eight.

Two days? I was out for two days?

Yes. I kept telling Aiden you were okay, but he wouldn’t listen. That man really does care for you.

But is caring enough?

That,she said heavily, is something only you can answer.

In my heart, I already knew the answer. I briefly closed my eyes against the slivers of pain and hope that rose in equal measure, and then said, How’s Mrs. Rankin?

She had a baby girl yesterday. She called her Elizabeth Fredericka Rankin, after the two people who saved her life.

A silly smile touched my lips. Fredericka is a better option than Montague.

Exactly what Monty said. She paused. Ashworth finally tracked down a little information on the witch through the description I gave him. She was listed in the RWA’s ‘seize if sighted’ list.

Given she was using blood magic and a hone-onna to murder people, I’m surprised she wasn’t on the High Council’s most wanted list.

Apparently, no one knew she was capable of magic that powerful.

Then why was she on a seize list?

Because she escaped a psychiatric hospital some ten years ago.

And her murderous spree has been going on since then?That didn’t seem possible.

Remember, we only became aware she was here after you almost got blown up in that caravan.

And once we had become aware, there was little point in the witch concealing the presence of her leashed dark spirit.

I headed out of the bedroom, but paused at the top of the stairs and flared my nostrils, drawing in all the warm scents rising from below. Aiden was sitting close to the fire. I slowly made my way down.

Good luck, Belle added softly and withdrew from my thoughts. Oh, and in case you do decide to leave, we dropped the Suzi off there yesterday.

Thanks.I stopped again at the base of the stairs. Aiden was sprawled on the sofa, lightly snoring. He was naked aside from a pair of boxer shorts, and the well-muscled planes of his lean body gleamed like gold in the flickering glow of the fire. My fingers itched with the desire to lightly explore the glorious length of him while I could, but I ignored it. I couldn’t be distracted. Not again.

I popped four crumpets into the toaster, then made myself a cup of coffee. He stirred—something I felt more than saw—then sat upright abruptly. “You’re awake.”

“Observant of you,” I replied, amused.

He laughed, pushed off the sofa, and strode toward me, sweeping me into his arms and a kiss that was as fierce as it was relieved.

“You had me worried for a while there,” he said eventually.

“So Belle said.” I placed a hand on his warm chest. Felt the beat of his heart under my fingertips, strong and steady. “But I’m okay, Aiden.”

He dropped a kiss on the top of my head, then reached past me and plucked the crumpets from the toaster, placing them on the nearby breadboard. I grabbed the butter and cheese, while he retrieved the vegemite and turned on the benchtop toaster oven.

“Yes, but she wasn’t seeing how gaunt you were.” His gaze scanned me. “And still are.”

“It’s the cost of magic.”

“So I was informed. Multiple times. Doesn’t alter the fact it’s worrying.”

“I know.”

I shrugged and silently buttered the crumpets. Once he’d smeared vegemite over them, we put on the cheese and then lightly toasted them. As breakfasts went, it was pretty close to perfect. Only a side of bacon would have made it better.

I picked up my cup and plate and followed him across to the sofa, but sat down facing him rather than beside him as I usually did. I took a sip of coffee, then put it on the nearby coffee table and said, “How did you find us up there?”

“Easy. All ranger vehicles have trackers in them, remember?”

I half smiled. “Just as well Monty decided to keep using your truck then.”

“Yeah, and I’m not impressed with the scratches he’s given her.” His expression belied the annoyance in his voice. “When Ashworth and Eli felt the first surge of dark magic, it was a simple matter of contacting Belle to see what vehicle you were in.”

“I take it the whole gang was with you?”

He shook his head. “Eli stayed behind to guard Mia, on the off chance it was a diversion.”

Which gave me the perfect in on the conversation that had to be had. One we’d been avoiding for entirely too long now.

I munched on the crumpet for several seconds while I gathered my courage and then said softly, “So did you and Mia have time to sit down and talk?”

“Yes, and it didn’t alter anything. I told you it wouldn’t.”

“I didn’t actually expect it to.”

He frowned. “Then why ask the question?”

“You know why, Aiden.”

He sighed, the warmth in his expression losing ground to frustration. “Are we really going to do this now? When you’re barely out of your sickbed?”

“We can’t keep finding excuses, Aiden. We need to talk about us. About this relationship and what we want out of it.”

“You know what I want out of it,” he said in a gruff voice that held a distinct edge. “You. In my life, in my bed. For now, and for the foreseeable future.”

“And the future we can’t see?”

“Worry about that when the time comes.”

I sighed. He still wasn’t getting it.

“Aiden, I’ve spent the last few months of our relationship fearing Mia’s return—fearing that she would be the one who would tear us apart—” I held up a hand to stop his comment. “But in truth, she was never the real threat. She was just a manifestation of the problem that lies between us.”

“You being a witch rather than a werewolf,” he said bluntly. “I don’t care.”

“But you do.” I couldn’t help the edge in my voice. “Otherwise, you’d be willing to take this relationship to its natural conclusion.”

He didn’t say anything. Maybe he simply wasn’t willing to admit, even now, the truth we both knew.

“Damn it, Aiden,” I growled, frustrated. “I love you. I think I fell in love with you that very first day, when you arrested my ass. I want nothing more than to build a life with you, but I can’t do that. Not like this. Not when at any given moment you can decide that playtime with the witch is over and it’s time to resume the mantle as alpha of your pack.”

“I can’t change what I am.”

“No, but that was never the point. Katie fought the pack and your parents to marry the man she loved. Do you really think she would have done anything different had she not been dying?”

“Had she not been dying, the pack would not have approved.”

“Do you think she would have cared? If you do, then you don’t know your sister very well at all.”

“Liz, listen—”

“No. I’m done listening. I’m done being patient. I’m done torturing myself with the possibility of loving a man who will never admit his feelings or truly commit to me. I want marriage, Aiden. I want kids. And if I can’t have it with you, then this has to end. Now. I’m not going to spend the next one or two or however many damn years it is fearing that the next wolf who walks into the reservation might be the one you leave me for.” Tears were tracking down my face now, but I didn’t care. “I want more than that. I deserve more than that.”

He didn’t say anything for a very long time, then he slowly reached out and thumbed away a tear. “I don’t want to lose you, Liz. I don’t want to lose this.”

“But what are you willing to do to keep it? Marry me? Commit to being a full-time life partner rather than just a bedmate? Because that’s what it’s going to take.”

“Marriage is no guarantee of a happy ever after.”

“No, but at least I’d know where I stand in your life. Right now, I’m in no-man’s land. I’m a lover who shares your bed but not all of your life, and you certainly go to great pains to keep our relationship separate from your pack life.”

“Because—”

“I’m not a wolf,” I finished for him. “And for you, that will always be a major obstacle.”

“It’s not a new revelation, Liz,” he growled, blue eyes glowing fiercely. “I’ve never said or acted in any way to make you believe otherwise.”

“I know. It’s my stupid fault for falling for a man whose heart was always beyond my grasp. But here we are.”

He scrubbed a hand through his hair and looked away. “Damn it, Liz, please don’t do this. Not now.”

“Then when?” I asked fiercely. “Just when is the right time for you to break my heart?”

He cursed, thrust to his feet, and stalked across to the fire, holding out his hands to the flames, though we both knew they didn’t need warming. Tension rode the muscles across his back, and his aura ran with a confusing mix of hurt, anger, and frustration.

“I don’t want this,” he growled.

“To be honest, Aiden, I don’t think you really know what you want.”

He didn’t reply. He didn’t look around.

I sighed, placed my unfinished crumpet back on the plate, then rose and padded over to him. His muscles tensed, but he otherwise didn’t react.

“You know I’m right.”

He didn’t say anything.

“This is goodbye, Aiden.”

“No.” One word, gruffly said.

“Yes,” I said firmly, though my heart and my soul were shattering.

He swore and swung around to face me. He didn’t touch me. He didn’t kiss me, though I could see the desire to do both burning in his eyes. “I need a run. I need to think.”

“I won’t be here when you get back, Aiden.”

“Just wait for me. Please.”

I didn’t reply. He hesitated, then strode for the door, slamming it open and then slamming it closed with equal force.

I felt the shimmer of his change, the long lope of his steps as he chased the fast-disappearing night. Running away from the truth rather than searching for answers.

There were no answers. We both knew that. Not unless he was at least willing to meet me halfway.

I walked upstairs, got dressed, and then grabbed a bag and stuffed everything I could into it. The rest I could come back for either tomorrow or the next day. I hauled it downstairs, swept up my purse, and headed out into the wild night. After dumping the bag in the rear of the Suzi, I opened the driver door and climbed in.

What happened from this point on was up to him.

I reversed out of the parking area and slowly drove away.

And deep in the distance heard the anguished, broken howl of a wolf.

I knew exactly how he felt.