Pretty Falling Pieces by Isabelle Culpo
Chapter Twenty-Two
People always talk about how a human’s visceral response to danger is either fight or flight. When something scares us, our sympathetic nervous system takes over and we respond instinctively as opposed to with rational thought. We either run or attack.
What’s often left out is our third response, fright.
I’ve only felt that sort of all-consuming fear a few times in my life.
One of the more recent times was when I discovered those pictures of me had been taken by Allie and her friends. The rumour mill at school got to me before the actual pictures had and I’ll never forget the dread I felt in that moment knowing someone had taken photos of me without my knowledge and then spread them round for the whole school to laugh at. What they did was unspeakably cruel, but I never confronted them about it.
I was so shocked by what had happened I acted like it never did.
Just went about the rest of my school day as if I was oblivious.
Some people said I was even more pathetic for doing nothing about it; that they would’ve respected me more if I had gone up to Allie and punched her in the face. Fought back instead of letting her get away with it unscathed.
But instead I was frozen.
The first time I felt it was when I was seven years old, during the middle of summer, on the hottest day of the year.
My parents had refused to go to the beach, but I was desperate for some relief from the scorching weather. Wanting to get me out of their hair, they told me to take myself to the beach while they invited some friends over to have drinks with.
So in my little blue one piece with sunflowers, I took off down the road and headed straight into the water. I’d always been a confident swimmer and had no qualms about diving straight under the waves. The water felt refreshing and cool so I lay back and allowed myself to float on the surface.
When I tried to stand up again, I struggled to grip the sand.
Bouncing on my tip toes, I started to feel a strong pull from the water surrounding me.
I was caught in a rip.
My initial response was to fight it and swim back to shore.
But I soon realised that fighting an ocean current is nearly impossible, even for the strongest of swimmers.
That panic to fight the current and swim back to shore is the worst thing you can have because the exertion exhausts you and that’s how you drown. Instead, it’s best to go with the current and allow the cyclical movement of a rip to bring you back to shore. That day at the beach I didn’t react, I just froze and let my body be carried out to the ocean.
Ultimately, that subconscious decision was what saved my life.
In this moment, standing in front of Sarah, I feel the same all-encompassing fear as being caught in a rip. Except this time I know the only way I’m getting out of here unscathed, is if I ignore every instinct in my body that’s keeping me locked up in fear.
“Whose lives? I don’t even know you. Please let me go, Sarah,” I plead.
This woman belongs in an institution; she shouldn’t be in anyone’s life. There are big fat tears in her eyes when I look up again, but she blinks them away and the sorrow is replaced with venom.
“I didn’t want to have to do this, Imogen, but you made me. You inserted yourself where you didn’t belong, and I had to start from scratch again. Things were going perfectly until you showed up at our work party uninvited. I had him this close and then you waltzed in like you owned the place and stole him right from under me again. That look on his face when he saw you was meant for me, not you.”
Is she talking about the Coleman Construction roof-shout? She must be one of Theo’s employees.
“I must admit I didn’t recognise you at first. I thought you were just another bimbo like the stuck-up blonde I got rid of. I thought you’d be easy enough to eliminate and when I saw you leave early, I didn’t even think I had anything to worry about anymore. Imagine my surprise when I ran into you that day in the elevator and realised that the same girl that crashed the party was my obese, acne riddled neighbour. People were disgusted by you, Imogen,” she seethes. “Some of the guys in our building used to have a bet going for who could get with the ugliest chick in here. You were the grand prize before you went to Africa. I actually felt sorry for you at one stage.”
If the pain from my hand wasn’t so strong right now that might have done more damage.
I’m sure I’ll process it later, but for now my only focus is getting out of here. I’ve let her continue on with her monologue, choosing not to interrupt, but when she pauses, I probe her. I need her to tell me everything right now otherwise I might never get the chance again. She’ll be behind bars for a long time after this.
“Who is he?” I ask, feigning ignorance.
“Theo. But you already knew that, didn’t you? He saved me you see, fate brought us together and he’s been watching over me ever since,” she says.
I did, but it still hurts to hear his name come out of her mouth.
“He’s on his way here, Sarah. I told him I was meeting you before I came inside your apartment.” I don’t know how she’ll react to this news but it’s my only shot at getting through to her.
“You’re lying!” she says, eyes wide and terrified. If her words didn’t already confirm it, the look on her face just did; for whatever reason he means everything to her.
“I’m not, he’ll be here any minute now.” I hope.
She looks down at my hand which is now bruised and swollen to double the size. I’m worried she might try to injure it again, but she dashes to the kitchen instead grabbing a long steak knife.
I scramble towards the door, fumbling with the lock. I can only use my good hand which is shaking so badly I can’t finesse it. I look back for a second expecting to see her inches away from me about to plunge a knife into my chest, but she hasn’t moved.
The knife isn’t directed at me, she’s holding it above her wrist.
I lean back against the wall, gasping for breath, while she stares transfixed by the sharp blade that’s pressed against her pale skin.
“Don’t do it, Sarah. It’s not worth it.” The words leave my mouth without conscious thought and I curse myself for not just leaving and getting out of here.
She doesn’t look up, but her grip on the knife loosens slightly.
“You don’t have to resort to this, I won’t tell him anything, okay? We can keep this between us, just put the knife down,” I say.
Her head remains down when she whispers, “Why should I trust you?”
Because I think you need help, not prison.
“I know what it feels like to go unnoticed, Sarah. I know what it feels like to be overlooked, especially when it’s by someone you love. I have been my whole life. But I promise you Sarah there’s someone out there who’s going to look at you like their life begins and ends with you.” Once you seek help and get better. “You deserve someone who wants to be with you, not someone you have to chase. Don’t make a rash decision now that’s going to ruin the rest of your life. Put the knife down now, go get help, and I promise I won’t tell the police about my hand.”
“What about your apartment? Will you tell them about that?”
I take a deep breath “No. But they could still figure it out themselves.”
I wait for her to release the knife and put it on the bench, which eventually she does. She finally looks up at me, as if waiting for me to make the first move, but I don’t have to because someone knocks at the door.
“Sarah, open up, I need to speak to you!” It’s Theo. I was only bluffing about him coming here before but a wave of relief rushes over me at the sound of his voice. I quickly turn to let him in, finally succeeding with the locks.
When I open the door, the first thing I notice is his heavy breathing. He looks momentarily relieved at seeing me then his eyes survey the rest of my body taking in my damaged hand. He reaches out to touch it when I hear Sarah call out from behind me.
“Theo, look what she did to me! Help please!” There’s blood trickling out from Sarah’s arm. Not enough that she’s hit a vein or an artery but enough to make the situation look desperate.
When Theo notices her, he moves past me towards her.
Sarah cries, “Get her out of here, Theo! She’s dangerous, look what she did.” When Theo gets close enough to her, she pulls him in front of herself as if hiding herself from me.
I hobble towards Theo. “I didn’t do it. She’s lying and she needs help.”
Please believe me. You know I’d never do that.
His jaw clenches when he sees me limping towards them. The pain is bearable compared to the words he says to me next, “You need to leave, Imogen. Sarah’s hurt and I need to help her.”
“But…” I know it’s irrational because she clearly needs medical attention but I hate the way he’s dismissing me right now.
“Go!” Despite his tone, I can’t move, she’s unstable. I don’t want to leave him here alone with her. “Remember that girl I was telling you about? The one I told you I’d do anything for? This is her, so you need to leave, Imogen. Let me take care of her.”
Sarah practically glows at his words.
My chest tightens.
She’s the survivor from the earthquake.
“Okay, I’ll call an ambulance and go.” I pick up my phone off the floor where Sarah dropped it and take one final look at her tucked underneath Theo’s arms. She looks so small and vulnerable next to him.
The look of relief on Theo’s face when I finally turn to walk out the door shatters my heart.
* * *
Sirens alert me to the ambulance that’s arrived outside our building. When they come in, I send them straight up to Sarah’s floor. I take a seat resting my foot and wait. Never in a million years did I expect confronting Sarah would turn out like that. Turns out it wasn’t my clients she wanted to poach. It was my boyfriend. Technically ex-boyfriend now.
From the way Theo rushed to her side just now, it appears she didn’t even need to go to such dramatic lengths to get his attention. She’s had it all along. He said it himself; he’d do anything for her.
Theo felt responsible for what happened to her family during the earthquake even though it wasn’t his fault.
I can’t blame her for falling in love with him. Theo swooped in during the worst period of her life and saved her; offering a job, financial security, and most importantly companionship now that she had no one. I see now the loss she endured, I can understand why she became so attached to him and how threatened she must have felt when we started seeing each other.
I just wish she didn’t try and destroy my life to get to him.
Not long after the ambulance arrives, they’re wheeling Sarah down in a gurney. Instead of looking sickly and pale as you’d expect she’s almost beaming with Theo by her side. Her dull, pale skin has taken on an almost luminous quality since I left the apartment.
Clearly the cut wasn’t as bad as she made it seem.
I watch them as they try to load her in the ambulance and that’s when Theo notices me. I can’t quite make out the expression on his face from here, but he doesn’t look at me long before Sarah tugs his arm, bringing his attention back to her.
A part of me selfishly wishes that he’d leave her and come check on me, but when he jumps in the back of the ambulance with her, taking her to hospital, I know things are well and truly over between us.
* * *
I call Jess and ask her if she can take me to the A&E to get my hand and foot checked out.
“Of course, I’m leaving work now. How did it happen?” she says.
“It’s a long story. I’ll tell you when you get here.”
* * *
Three hours, two x-rays, and one long conversation with my best friend later, I’m leaving the A&E with a sprained ankle, broken hand, and fractured heart. Now more than ever I wish I could go back to my apartment and stay in bed for a week. Luckily for me, I’ve got the next best thing—Jess’s place. She’s been doting on me like a mother hen bringing me food, drink and ice for my injuries.
“You’re going to be a good mummy one day,” I tell her, and instead of scoffing like she’s done in the past, a shy smile tugs at the corners of her mouth.
Trent must have really done a number on her.
She fluffs the pillow behind my back and offers to get me another glass of the Rosé I had chilling in the fridge.
I decline but she tops up her glass to nearly the brim. “I still can’t believe it was her. I knew she was a lunatic the first time I saw her.”
“Jess,” I chastise, she only saw her once when she came over to my place. I hardly think she was able to ascertain Sarah was ill in that chance encounter. I wouldn’t even have guessed she was capable of this myself, and I’ve spoken to her several times.
“It’s true. She has Mona Lisa eyes, the ones that look at you no matter where you’re standing. I’m telling you…” She circles her index finger around her temple crazy.
“Well at least I know who vandalised my apartment now and I can move on.” I stopped by the police station and gave a statement after we finished up at the A&E; they want me to come down to the station tomorrow morning as well.
“Have you told Theo what happened to you? I know you guys aren’t together, but I honestly think he’d want to know.”
I left out the part about Theo when I told Jess what happened. I knew she’d go off on him and I just didn’t want to get between her and Trent. “Maybe tomorrow.”
We spend the rest of the evening watching bad reality TV and chilling. Jess has to provide unnecessary commentary for every scene and while it usually annoys me, tonight it has me in fits of laughter. For only a few hours it’s as if the past month never happened.