Nautilus Than Perfect by K.L. Hiers

Chapter 15.

PHYSICAL RELATIONSwere indeed enjoyed after a good night’s sleep, and for the first time in his entire career, Detective Benjamin Merrick was late for work.

They enjoyed each other more responsibly after that, and Chase promised to set extra alarms every morning just in case.

The search for Jeff Martin and the other cultists remained intense, although no progress was made. Daisy disappeared before she could be questioned officially, doubtlessly reunited with her crazy buddies since her memory had been zapped. No one at the department was going to forget the cult’s attempt to harm two of their own, and Chase wished he could tell them all the truth.

They knew exactly where ol’ Jeffy boy was hiding out, but it just happened to be somewhere in a magical world that was one out of thousands, all of them forgotten by time….

Okay, “exactly” was a stretch.

Merrick and Loch searched the worlds known to them and their immediate family, and Sloane dug relentlessly through ancient texts and scrolls to find new ones with Ollie helping them translate. It made Chase feel a little useless, but he did what he could to support them, even if it was just making pasta and frozen breadsticks on demand.

Before Chase knew it, it had been two weeks since they’d stopped the ritual, and he and Merrick were having Sloane and Loch over for dinner.

Milo was also invited and brought his pregnant girlfriend, Lynnette Fields, who then told her brother, the real Lochlain Fields, and his husband, Robert, to come over too. Lochlain took it upon himself to invite his best friend, a ghoul named Fred Wilder, who came with his date, his doctor, a young man called Ell Sturm.

Well, Chase was glad he’d made plenty of food.

“We really do need T-shirts,” Lynnette declared, leaning back in her chair at the small table and rubbing her little baby bump. “Some sort of Super Secret Sages’ Club.”

“I do not think that would be wise,” Merrick grumbled.

“This is really everybody that knows, huh?” Chase called out from the kitchen, popping the breadsticks into the oven.

“Except for Ollie and Jay,” Milo chimed in. He was standing behind Lynnette, rubbing her shoulders.

“Oh, and Alexander and Rota!” Sloane shouted back from where he was lounging on the couch with Loch. He didn’t have the bump Lynnette did, but that didn’t stop Loch from snuggling against his stomach and petting it reverently.

Chase stepped out of the kitchen. “And they are where exactly?”

“Off looking for the Fountain of the Kindress to find Rota’s body.”

“Right. The starbaby thing?”

“Yes,” Merrick confirmed. “The Fountain is where Great Azaethoth gathers his tears to drown the child. I do not suppose you have any way to get in contact with Alexander or Rota?”

“Ugh, why would we?” Loch complained.

“If they have found a way to navigate the worlds between worlds, it would be very helpful as we continue our own search for the cultists,” Merrick replied patiently.

“You still think they’re hiding out there?” Sloane asked.

“Where else could they be?” Milo piped up. “Look, the entire AVPD has been tearing this city apart trying to find them. Either they’ve moved on or they’re hunkered down at their very own porn temple.”

“Unlikely,” Loch said. “We checked all those.”

“Worth mentioning that I’ve had an influx of requests for Sagittarian artifacts,” Robert added, glancing warily between Chase and Merrick.

Robert, in addition to running a jewelry store, was also a fence and dealer in black market magical items.

Considering the combined criminal record of their guests was longer than Chase’s arm, one of the first ground rules established for this little party was no arrests. Merrick was disappointed, but he’d promised to honor the agreement.

Even so, Robert seemed nervous.

“I’m talking by the dozens. More than I’ve ever had,” he went on. “The buyers don’t even care if they’re broken or cursed, they just want them.”

“I’ve also received several lucrative offers to relieve museums and private collectors of certain Sagittarian items,” Lochlain said with a sly smile. “I’ve declined, of course.”

“Of course,” Merrick echoed.

Chase stepped out of the kitchen, eyeing Fred for a moment.

As a ghoul, his very existence was illegal, but Chase had to admit that he never would have clocked him. Fred was the freshest ghoul he’d ever seen. Didn’t even smell bad.

Whatever that little Ell guy was doing, it was some good stuff.

Fred glared at him for staring, and Chase cleared his throat to address the room. “So, we got people out there wanting to buy up or steal all the Sage stuff that they can get their hands on, right?”

“Yup,” Sloane replied. “There’s even talk of an actual coven being formed.”

“Some kind of spiritual resurgence?” Ell suggested quietly. “I mean, it could happen, right?”

“Buncha witches gettin’ wise to the old ways all of a sudden seems mighty suspicious,” Fred grumbled. “Someone is out there spreadin’ the word.”

“Our cult buddies, no fuckin’ doubt,” Chase agreed.

“I remember when I was a kid and being the only Sage I knew,” Sloane said, taking Loch’s hand in his. “If so many people are converting because that’s what they feel is right in their hearts, great. I’m happy for them.”

“But if they’re only converting because they think the world is about to end and wanna be on the side doing the ending, not so great,” Lynnette huffed.

“The AVPD is actively watching for any and all suspicious activity, especially Sagittarian,” Merrick said. “While their intentions are noble, I am afraid that our people are not being held in a positive light.”

“They think we’re all crazy zealots?” Sloane asked knowingly.

“Yes.”

“I mean, I only converted after Loch, His Holy Tentacleness, bopped me on the head with one of those bad boys,” Milo protested, “but that doesn’t make me crazy and wanna end the world.”

“While that may be true for you, I suspect these new converts are being radicalized in anticipation of Salgumel’s return,” Merrick said grimly. “They are being prepared for a war.”

“Let’s not forget the recent pattern of my dear siblings doing their part to speed this little tiff along,” Loch said, lifting his head from Sloane’s lap. “And if Gronoch is to be believed, there are many other gods who support Salgumel’s return.”

“But hey!” Milo said cheerfully, pointing at Sloane. “We got our very own Starkiller, right? Crazy-ass mortals or gods, no problem!”

“Not even a Starkiller will mean much if they succeed in finding the Kindress,” Merrick warned. “The firstborn child is a being made of pure starlight. A Starkiller’s sword will be useless against it.”

“You believe it’s real, Uncle?” Loch frowned, a few of his tentacles unfurling to hold Sloane a little closer.

“Real enough to be concerned.” Merrick raised his brow. “You forget, Nephew, I am one of the oldest of Baub’s spawn. I was there when Abigail the Starkiller killed Halandrach and took Zunnerath as her mate. It is said she washed the blood off her hands there at the Fountain. If the Fountain is real, then so is the Kindress.”

The timer on the oven dinged, and Chase scooted back into the kitchen to retrieve the breadsticks and plated out the pasta. All this talk of gods and blood was way over his head. Besides, with a pregnant lady out there, he wasn’t gonna drag his feet on the grub.

Well, make that two pregnant people, one of whom was a man, two ancient gods, a ghoul, a ghoul doctor, a rogue witch, a criminal fence, and a Milo.

What a weird fuckin’ family.

Family.

Huh.

The word surprised him and warmed his heart, and he suddenly recalled all the dinners he used to have with his brother before things went south. Maybe everyone here wasn’t related by blood, but the collective desire to protect their world and all of humanity was good enough for Chase. He’d missed this more than he realized, and he liked having a full house to feed.

Other than worrying about what Loch was going to steal from him, it was great.

And, a little voice in the back of his head reminded him, also worrying about whether or not Ollie was okay.

After all, was it really a family gathering without his nephew here?

Ollie had declined the dinner invite. Chase didn’t know if it was because of the godly company or a general aversion to seeing people, but he was concerned. As far as he knew, Ollie hadn’t left the apartment since coming home from the ritual.

“There you go, worrying again,” Merrick noted, his sudden presence in the kitchen startling Chase.

“Shit, you’re sneaky!” Chase clutched his pounding heart. “Take it easy on me. I’m old.”

“My apologies.” Merrick kissed his cheek. “I came to check on you, and you have that look on your face.”

“What look?”

“You are worried. Oleander?”

“Yeah. Kinda wish he woulda come.” Chase held up his hands. “What can ya do, you know? He’s miserable.”

“Perhaps you should bring him some food?” Merrick suggested.

“Oh yeah, I guess we could….”

“No, just you.” Merrick frowned. “He needs support, and I do not believe he finds my presence tolerable.”

“Ah, that’s just because he can see the real you all squished up in this body.” Chase put his hand on Merrick’s hip. “And for the record, the wings? Never did tell you how sexy I think they are….”

“Yes, you have.”

“Mmm, did I also mention how hot your tentacles are?”

“Yes. You are trying to distract me from talking about your nephew with the promise of coitus.”

“All this beauty and brains too.” Chase kissed him sweetly.

“Your flattery will not deter me.” Merrick held his head high. “Once our guests have departed, we are revisiting this conversation.”

“The conversation about coitus, you mean? Well, fuck, come on! We got people to feed so we can get them all the hell out of here!”

Merrick sighed as if annoyed, but he couldn’t stop smiling.

The conversation turned to more cheerful topics after Chase and Merrick passed out the plates. Everyone was excited for Sloane’s Neun Monde celebration and the godly family that would be visiting. There was something about one of the goddesses being a mass of writhing tentacles, and Chase couldn’t look at his spaghetti the same way again.

There was much discussion about baby names, and even Fred and Ell suggested a few. Milo and Lynnette were set on something inspired by some space show, and Sloane and Loch weren’t sharing yet. Lochlain’s suggestion was Lochlain, which everyone immediately turned down.

Just Lochlain and Loch were already confusing enough.

Fred and Ell were the first to leave, thanking Chase profusely for the meal even though Fred hadn’t eaten a single bite. Lynnette had taken care of Fred’s plate, but it wasn’t sitting well on her pregnant belly, so she and Milo followed soon after, with Robert and Loch right behind them.

Sloane and Loch stayed long enough to help clean up before taking their leave, promising to send word if they found any new worlds where the cult might be hiding. Chase appreciated the offer, but it abruptly brought back the reality of their situation.

Jeff Martin was still out there with his cult, and their numbers were growing. Ancient gods were waking up, and not all of them were friendly—especially that Sally guy who had gone crazy and was gonna wreck the world if someone interrupted his nap.

At least the god Chase was in love with could be swayed by bad puns and frozen breadsticks.

Chase was putting the last of the dishes away, and he smiled when he felt Merrick’s tentacles curl around his waist. “Mmm, yes?”

“I have been thinking.” Merrick rested his chin on Chase’s shoulder and hugged him from behind.

“About?” Chase grinned. “Oh, is this about the conversation about coitus?”

“No,” Merrick said firmly.

“Hmmm.”

“It is the one about Oleander. The one I said we were going to have after our guests departed.”

“I know, I know.” Chase dropped a hand on Merrick’s forearm. “I was just thinking earlier that having everybody here? Having dinner like this? It was like having a really weird family reunion.”

“Oh?”

“Except Ollie wasn’t here.” Chase smiled sadly. “I need to go see him. You’re right.”

“I do have that habit.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know. He doesn’t want help from me. Well, I’ll make sure he gets it anyway. I’ll check in on him tomorrow after work.” Chase glanced back over his shoulder. “We, uh, staying at my place or yours?”

“Normally I would say you are being too presumptuous—” Merrick pursed his lips. “—but that is what I wanted to talk to you about.”

“The, ahem, coitus?”

“No, I was thinking about whether or not we should reexamine our living situation.”

“What do you mean?” Chase wiggled around in Merrick’s tentacles to turn so they were facing each other.

“Being that we are mates and also partners, we spend a lot of time together,” Merrick said, his jaw tight. “There have been many late nights together, more than not that we’ve spent in your bed or together in mine.”

Chase studied Merrick’s stern expression, and for once he couldn’t get a read on where his head was at. “Yeah, and?”

“In an effort to be economically conscious and responsible regarding our fuel consumption, I was thinking… I would like….”

“What is it, Merr?”

“I would like to cohabitate with you,” Merrick said finally, his stoic countenance faltering. “Please.”

“Cohabi-what?” Chase grinned. “Wait. Are you asking me if I want us to move in together?”

“Yes. Maybe. Possibly.” Merrick frowned. “Is that not an appropriate request? I can withdraw the offer—”

“No,” Chase quickly replied. “I would love to cohabitate with you. Very much.”

“Really?” Merrick’s face lit up, his eyes turning black and shimmery.

“Really.” Chase pressed their lips together, and he sighed as Merrick’s tentacles coiled around him.

Merrick kissed him back passionately, his hands and slithering appendages slipping beneath Chase’s shirt.

Chase groaned, his skin prickling with heat. He held on to Merrick’s hips and pulled him close. “Mmm, I guess this means you wanna have dessert in the bedroom, eh?”

“Dessert?” Merrick paused. “But you did not make anything….”

Chase waited.

“Ah, you mean the coitus. The coitus is dessert.”

“Yes, the coitus.” Chase’s snickers were soon lost in Merrick’s lips. He didn’t notice the change in position as Merrick magically whisked them away until he opened his eyes to see his bedroom ceiling above him.

“My mate,” Merrick murmured, gazing down at Chase as their clothes melted away. “I long to wake up every day with you, to take you to bed every night just like this….”

“I’m totally fuckin’ down.” Chase kissed him, groaning low as he felt his body slowly stretch in preparation for Merrick’s tentacles.

“I thought you might be.”

“Can we, like….” Chase paused, trying to quickly figure out the logistics of what he wanted to do. “Can you get on your back?”

“Why?”

“So I can ride that big ol’ tentadick.”

Merrick’s mouth opened and closed, and then he nodded. “I believe I can accommodate your request.”

“Thought so.” Chase laughed as Merrick quickly changed their positions and pulled him on top. Chase adjusted himself, straddling Merrick’s hips and bracing his hands on his chest. “Yeah? Like this?”

“Yes.” Merrick slid his hands up Chase’s thick thighs. “Definitely like this.”

Chase groaned when he felt one of Merrick’s tentacle-dicks pressing between his legs. He eased himself back, letting his weight bring him down on the tip. “Ahhh… fuck….”

“Mm, Elwood,” Merrick whispered, gazing up at him reverently. “You look so beautiful like this. Is it, is it too much? Do I need to move…?”

“Uh-uh,” Chase replied, sitting down a little more and making himself moan. “Just keep it right there, right there. Mmm, I’ve got this.”

“Yes, my mate.”

Rolling his hips, Chase worked more of Merrick’s massive tentacle-cock inside of him. He could feel how wet he was thanks to Merrick’s magic, and his ass was stretching out to take it all. It wasn’t pain, not exactly, but it was a sensation of pressure, hot and slick, and he wanted more.

He sat back, his fingers dragging down Merrick’s stomach as he felt the knot pushing against his hole. He took a few quick breaths and began to grind, his head tipping back with a greedy groan. “Ohhhh, fuck…. Merry….”

The knot was right there, and Chase’s hole was already so tight. A brief flicker of pain made his movements falter, and his breathing hitched as he tipped forward. Fuck, he was so close.

“Mm, Elwood,” Merrick gasped, his hands moving up Chase’s body, groping his broad shoulders. “You feel so wonderful. You always feel so very good.”

“I’ve got you, baby boy,” Chase promised, whipping his hair out of his face. “You just wait. You ain’t seen shit yet.” He gritted his teeth and slammed his hips down, crying out as the knot finally popped inside.

“Elwood!” Merrick’s entire body jerked, and his tentacles spiraled around Chase’s legs.

“Oh fuck yeah.” Chase grinned, his mouth hanging open as he got his hips rolling, thrusting down on Merrick’s thick tentacle-cock. His entire body felt like it was glowing, shimmering with bliss, and he gave all he had to the god beneath him.

He clawed at Merrick’s hips, riding him hard and dropping down to take all of him over and over again. He was so full, and Merrick’s tentacle was stroking intimate nerves deep within him that he didn’t even know he had. This angle was creating the most delicious sensation, and his skin was buzzing all over.

The continued pressure sent an electric shiver up his spine, and his nipples were getting hard in its wake. Every hair was standing on end, and the slide of Merrick’s tentacle was making him ache. The knot was plunging deeper inside of him, and he didn’t know how much more he could—

“Ah, fuck!” Chase cried out as he came, watching his cock shoot across Merrick’s stomach, pulsing with every slam. His legs were giving out, trembling violently, but he didn’t want it to stop.

Merrick was there to take over, his powerful tentacles wrapping all around him and lifting him up so he could keep thrusting. He caressed Chase’s aching thighs, praising, “You feel so perfect, you are always so perfect… I love you, I love you so much, Elwood.”

“Love you too,” Chase panted in reply, his body twitching when Merrick came inside of him. His own climax was still going, and the hot rush of come inside of him made it sweeter still.

Right as the bliss was beginning to ebb, Merrick was stuffing his other tentacle-dick in Chase’s hole. All Chase could do was sob from the sudden way his body was forced to open up, and he groaned as a second load flooded his body.

He could actually feel Merrick lifting him right off the bed from the force of his thrusts, and he tipped forward to bury his face down in Merrick’s chest. Both tentacles were wiggling and thrusting, and Chase couldn’t stop screaming in pleasure. “Oh yes, Merry… oh fuck, fuck, yes… oh, fuck me!”

His climax never stopped, one wave of pleasure rolling into the next without pause, and Chase’s heart was about to explode right out of his chest. The swell of both fat knots inside of him was teetering on pain, and he fought to breathe through the inescapable pressure.

It was so damn good, so fucking good, and Chase whimpered as one final orgasmic shudder ran through his body. The tentacle-cocks were pulling out with the utmost care, and a gush of come dripped between Chase’s legs.

Fingers tingling, he reached back to feel, finding his hole open and wet. His body was already trying to clench back up, and he let out a quiet moan when Merrick’s fingers joined his own.

“I love this,” Merrick crooned, kissing Chase’s hair. “I love knowing what I do to you.”

“You fuckin’ wreck me, every time. Fuck.” Chase tried to laugh, but he was too out of breath. “That was good.”

“Did I hurt you?”

“No, baby, I’m fine.” Chase went limp against Merrick’s chest. “Just, you know, got fucked by a god, and now none of my muscles wanna function.”

Stroking Chase’s back, Merrick sighed happily. “Well, you did most of the work this time. I liked that. Very much.”

“Oh, we’re definitely doing that again.” Chase lifted his head for a quick smooch. “Mmm, at least twice a week.”

“Oh, is that so?”

“Uh-huh.” Chase beamed. “I mean, I got to ride you as a dragon, but this is way more fun.”

“I love you.” Merrick ran his fingers through Chase’s hair. “Mm, you are absolutely perverted, and I love you very much.”

“Hey, not many people get to say they corrupted a god. I’m pretty proud, you know.”

“As you should be,” Merrick confirmed. He wordlessly cleaned up the mess and refreshed the sheets, but he kept Chase on top of him. “I am looking forward to an eternity of your particular brand of corruption.”

“You know I don’t exactly have that kinda time.” Chase smirked. “But I’m glad to spend what I got with you.”

“Oh, do not be ridiculous,” Merrick scoffed. “You are my mate. When you are ready, we will ascend to Zebulon together, and you will be reborn as a god by my side.”

“Really?” Chase perked up. “You’d do that for me?”

“Of course. I love you.”

“I love you too, Merr.” Chase wagged his brow. “So, can we do that whole ascension bein’ a god thing now?”

“No, not yet.”

“Lemme guess, there’s some rules?”

“Your mortal life here is not yet exhausted. I do not want to waste it.”

“Yeah, but being a god would be really cool….”

“If we were to ascend now, we would most likely fall into the dreaming with the other gods. Which, while very peaceful, does not involve any coitus.”

“Okay.” Chase laughed. “I’ve changed my mind.”

A phone rang, and the tune identified it as the new one Merrick had purchased last week.

Merrick opened his hand, and the phone simply appeared. He cleared his throat, answering it politely, “Detective Merrick here.”

Chase was close enough to hear the person calling, and it was Milo.

“Hey!” Milo greeted. “Sorry to call so late, but I wanted to give you a heads-up. A Super Secret Sage Club kind of heads-up?”

“We are listening. What is wrong?”

“I just got called in for a crime scene. One of our would-be cultists just got himself a big ol’ case of dead-itis.”

“Was it Jeffrey Martin?” Merrick’s eyes widened.

“Nope, sorry. It’s one of the other guys who shot at you over at the shoe factory. Name is Clyde Wynette.”

“Where?”

“The alley behind the always classy and chic Dead to Rites.”

“Why us? We are not homicide.”

“Bartender says he met up with some guys at the bar, they all had some drinks, then he stumbled outside into the alley for some relief because using a bathroom isn’t cool enough, and, uh, that’s where he drowned.”

“Wait,” Chase piped up, “so this guy drowned in the middle of a back alley?”

“Yup,” Milo confirmed. “Oh, it gets better. It was salt water. Salinity confirms that it’s seawater. Like, from the ocean.”

“The fucking fuck.”

“That’s why magic enforcement is being called.”

“We shall be awaiting the call from dispatch,” Merrick said grimly.

“You guys have a great night!” Milo exclaimed. “Probably see you soon!”

“Goodbye, Milo.”

“This sounds like a shitty riddle,” Chase complained once Merrick hung up. “How the hell do you drown in the ocean when there’s no damn ocean?”

“We should get dressed,” Merrick said. “We may very well have to visit the crime scene tonight.”

“Mm. Can’t wait.” Chase groaned loudly when Merrick’s phone began to ring again. “Ah, come on. Wanted to at least get some more cuddles in.”

“That will be dispatch.” Merrick swept them out of bed and had them dressed in a blink. He stood up straight, pausing to adjust Chase’s hat. “Ready to go, partner?”

“For you?” Chase winked. “Always.”