Nautilus Than Perfect by K.L. Hiers

Chapter 8.

ALTHOUGH READINGthe raunchy erotica was wildly entertaining, it was not useful for their case. Ollie had begun translating the second painting, and those findings were only slightly more helpful.

“Make your holy pledge to Salgumel where the veil is most weak,” Chase read out loud. “You must say all his sacred words to find what you seek. To enter his dreams, cross land at the seams, where the rivers run dry, the birds fly, and… men don’t speak?”

Merrick frowned.

“What the fuck does that mean?”

“The veils between the worlds of Aeon, Xenon, and Zebulon are weak here in Archersville,” Merrick offered. “It is a prime location for rituals of this kind.”

“And the rest of it?”

“I do not know.”

“Why can’t they ever just say ‘go here by this damn tree’?” Chase huffed. “Or ‘light this candle by this giant rock with this conveniently placed sign’?”

“It would not be as mystical, I suppose.” Merrick snorted. “The harder it is to explain, the more mystical something is.”

“Mystical, huh?” Chase glanced over at Merrick, eyeing the full length of his body. “I’d say what we just did is pretty damn mystical, because I can’t even begin to explain what you did to me.”

“Would you like me to tell you? Perhaps in the same style as the ever-vivid Lord Collins?” Merrick smiled, reaching out to caress Chase’s cheeks. “Mm, I suppose you might enjoy that a little too much.”

“Probably.” Chase caught Merrick’s hand and kissed each one of his fingers and his palm. “Might get me all riled up again.”

“It does not take much, does it?” Merrick chuckled fondly.

“With you? Nah.” Chase stretched his legs with a little grunt. “I’ll need to freshen up before we go again, though. Maybe a light snack. Like some—”

He hadn’t even finished speaking before they were both naked, clean, and tucked under the covers. There was also a silver platter of donuts at the foot of the bed and a six-pack of beer.

“Wow.”

“Is this satisfactory?” Merrick asked, daring to look concerned.

“Fuck, you’re amazing.” Chase pulled the sheets high up on his chest as he sat up to snag a beer. Even after what they’d just done, he felt a little awkward about showing certain parts of his body. He popped the beer open and took a swig, delighted to find it was ice-cold. He lay back down with a very pleased sigh.

“Mmm, that is a good look on you.” Merrick reached over to run his fingers through Chase’s hair.

“Huh?” Chase slurped noisily at his beer. “What’s that?”

“Happy.” Merrick’s smile could have lit up the entire city.

“Yeah?” Chase was certain his own smile was equally luminous as he grinned at Merrick. “Stick around, and I guarantee you’ll see more of it.”

“I plan to,” Merrick assured him.

After taking another drink of his beer, Chase asked, “And you really had a thing for me all of this time?”

“Now who’s the inadequate detective?” Merrick smirked, and one of his tentacles curled around Chase’s arm. “You really do not give yourself enough credit. I found you very fascinating, and I must admit I became quite infatuated with you fairly quickly.”

Merrick shivered as another tentacle draped itself over his belly beneath the sheets. “Ditto, baby boy.” He chugged the rest of his beer, burped, and tossed the empty can on the floor. “Excuse me. I swear I’ll pick it up later.”

“Ah, it is a wonder how I was ever able to resist you,” Merrick drawled.

“Hey, I am very charming,” Chase argued, grabbing Merrick and pulling him up on his chest. “Not to mention hilarious.”

Merrick snuggled in close, resting his head on Chase’s shoulder. He traced the freckles dotting his collarbone. “I suppose that is what first got my attention. You always knew how to make me laugh.” He paused. “That and your voluptuous behind.”

“My what?”

“You heard me.”

“So the god of justice likes his men curvy?”

“Perhaps.” Merrick continued to draw little lines between Chase’s freckles, moving down to his chest right above the edge of the sheet. “My sense of attraction is not dependent upon a set of specific variables. I find many things pleasing.”

“Glad old gingers with voluptuous behinds made the cut.”

“I have spent much of my life waiting for a perfect mate,” Merrick said quietly. “There was a time when I did have an ideal candidate in mind, and I wasted centuries trying to find someone that met my impossible standards without success.”

“The love goddess.” Chase recalled the prediction Merrick had received. “That’s what she meant about not waiting around for perfect?”

“Yes, because my perfect mate was already right in front of me.” Merrick leaned up for a tender kiss, several more tentacles curling around Chase’s body and holding him close.

The kiss lingered, deep and slow, and Chase slipped his tongue into Merrick’s mouth to explore and taste. The earlier urgency had been well sated, but it wouldn’t have taken much for Chase to get going again.

A yawn interrupted his lusty ambitions, and he had to turn his head to cover his mouth. “Sorry. Shit, it’s not even that late. Your perfect mate might need a nap.”

“It is all right,” Merrick soothed. “I do not mind waiting a little longer. Besides, we have to get up early to arrange transport to the precinct. After the morning briefing, our first order of business will be visiting Mr. Romero.”

“Sir, yes, sir,” Chase said obediently, getting settled down for sleep. He was so relaxed that it wouldn’t take long for him to doze off. “Good night, Merry.”

“Good night, my darling,” Merrick replied. “Sleep well.”

Even as Chase’s mind drifted, there was something Merrick had said that stuck out as a bit strange. “Hey, Merry.”

“Yes?”

“What did you mean by waiting a little longer? A little longer for what?”

“To mate.” Merrick’s tentacles hugged Chase. “To have sex.”

“A lot of couples do,” Chase mumbled, ignoring the stirring in his loins as he started thinking about what mating with Merrick would be like. “It’s not a big deal. Ain’t gotta rush anything.”

“As I said, I do not mind waiting,” Merrick said. “I want my first time to be special.”

“Whatever you want, baby.” Chase was almost asleep before his eyes popped back open. “Wait? Your first time?” He squinted at Merrick. “Are you… are you a virgin?”

“Of course I am,” Merrick scoffed, lifting his head to frown at Chase. “They call me Gordoth the Untouched. What did you think it meant?”

“I don’t know!” Chase sputtered. He was stunned, to say the least. “Wait, so, all the tentacle orgies? You didn’t do any of that stuff?”

“No.” Merrick frowned. “I would share my seed in ritual bowls as offerings if our worshippers desired to imbibe it, but I never shared it as I have with you.” He fidgeted. “Does this displease you?”

“Not at all,” Chase said quickly. “I’m just, well, a little surprised is all. I’m honored. Flattered. Both. That you wanna do that with me. I mean, really. All of these gazillions of years and you didn’t want to?”

“I very much wanted to, but my desires were to wait until I found the perfect mate.” Merrick laid his head back down. “The longer I waited, the more impossible it seemed. It felt wrong to simply give myself away for the sake of doing it when I had withheld on principle for so long. Once we were all in the dreaming, I began to accept that I wouldn’t ever share it with someone.”

“Well, you got me now,” Chase said softly, his heart clenching up. “And I dunno about perfect, but well—” He grinned. “—I’m pretty damn close.”

“Your humility is admirable.” Merrick chuckled.

“I do kinda wish I had known. I coulda tried to be better. Not that I wasn’t good, because I’m always good, but you know… just would have taken my time, I mean.”

“I am sorry I made such assumptions. I know how ignorant you are.”

“Wow.” Chase snorted. “Be still my heart.”

“Elwood, I meant no offense!” Merrick sighed in frustration. “I am terrible at this.”

“It’s okay.” Chase guided Merrick back in for a reassuring kiss. “Totally okay. We’ll go as fast or as slow as you want to. I love you, Merry. I really fuckin’ do. I’ll do whatever you want, okay? All I wanna do is make you happy.”

“I love you too,” Merrick whispered in reply, seemingly in awe he was saying those words out loud. “I am… I am very pleased to hear that. There is truly no one else I could ever want to be my first.”

“Good. I fuckin’ swear I’ll make it so good for you, baby.” Chase fought to stifle another yawn. “We can plan the whole thing out. I’ll get you flowers, some candles, whatever you want.”

“Perhaps we should discuss all of this tomorrow,” Merrick said with a light chuckle. “Once we are off duty, of course.”

“Of course.” Chase kissed him again before getting ready for sleep once more. The lights magically turned off, and the rest of the beer and neglected donuts vanished. Seeing such a casual display of power added to Chase’s rising nerves.

Courting a god was already an intimidating task, but now knowing he was going to be the one to take his virginity?

Yeah, no pressure.

Not to mention they still had a gang of cultists out there trying to summon some other god who would destroy the world when he woke up.

No pressure at all.

IN SPITEof his anxious thoughts about bedding a god and trying to stop another from annihilating humanity, Chase slept better than he had in years. He woke up before his alarm even went off and found himself cradled in a warm nest of tentacles.

He’d rolled over on his side during the night and was holding Merrick against his chest, and Merrick’s tentacles were wrapped around them both. He didn’t move right away, taking a few moments to admire his partner’s sleeping face.

“Good morning,” Merrick said, opening his eyes and smiling at him.

Okay, not sleeping.

“Morning.” Chase smirked. “I guess you don’t actually need to sleep, do you?”

“No more than I need to eat. I do enjoy it, though. The eating, I mean. The sleeping is also nice to rest my mind. It has become a bit of a habit.”

“Mmm.” Chase kissed him and got such a warm thrill from the very fact he could do that whenever he wanted now. “Well, if you like eating, I’ll have to cook for you. Always wanted to.”

“You cook?” Merrick was unable to hide his surprise.

“Yeah, I know my kitchen looks like something died in there, but I swear I can.”

“All of the takeout delivery men know you by name.”

“Okay, so it’s been a little while.” Chase laughed. “I didn’t see a point in cooking for just me.”

“I would like that very much,” Merrick said, leaning in for another kiss. His tentacles pulled Chase flush against him, and he slid his hands over Chase’s shoulders.

Right as Chase slipped Merrick his tongue to deepen their kiss, he heard his phone ringing. “Shit. Phone.” He grumbled as he pulled away to find it and grumbled more when he saw it was dispatch calling. He sat up, putting the call on speaker. “Yo. Detective Chase here.”

“Hey, Chase!” It was Milo, sounding far too cheerful to be up this early.

“Milo?” Chase frowned. “What the hell are you doing calling from dispatch?”

“Oh, I came in to work early ’cause my girlfriend sent me out at, like, two o’clock for green tea ice cream and chicken nuggets. Couldn’t go back to sleep and, well, apparently nobody else wanted to call you ’cause they figured you’d be busy with Detective Merrick.”

“Busy?”

“I mean, he’s still over at your place, right?” Milo sounded like he was grinning, that cheeky little bastard. “Both of your cars are still here.”

Refusing to answer any of that, Chase grunted in annoyance. The last thing they needed was the rumor mill starting up. “What’s up, Milo?”

“Slappy Romero. He’s dead.”

“What the fucking fuck?”

“Maid called it in when she came in to clean the house,” Milo replied. “A couple of uniforms are already there, secured the scene, but you should probably get moving.”

“You’re our forensics guy!” Chase huffed. “Why aren’t you over there?”

“Uh, duh, my shift doesn’t start until eight.”

Chase bit the side of his phone.

“Mr. Evans,” Merrick coolly interjected, “you do realize performing any departmental duties without being clocked in is a direct violation of both state law and our precinct policies. I am very confident you did not ask for any supervisor approval regarding this unexpected overtime, so if you want our support to ensure you get paid, I am sure you would not mind heading to the scene a little earlier for us.”

“Yes, sir,” Milo squeaked.

“Goodbye, Mr. Evans.” Merrick smirked as he pushed the button to end the call.

“Well, shit.” Chase grinned. “Look at you. Savage takedown.”

“Any abuse of the system will not be tolerated on my watch,” Merrick declared with his head held high. He sunk back down as he added, “Although by speaking up, I did confirm his suspicions about my location.”

“How about you forget about all that and abuse my mouth with some of those tentacle-dicks?” Chase purred, snatching one he found familiar and mouthing his way down toward the tip.

“We need to get ready for work,” Merrick scolded even as his eyes fluttered.

“I can be so very quick.” Chase licked the tip of the tentacle. “Quick like a bunny.”

“Mmm, you had better be.”

Chase was able to get Merrick to come at least three times and earn himself a spectacular orgasm before Merrick finally dragged him out of bed. They took turns showering, got dressed, and grabbed a cab to take them over to the precinct.

The sun was up, the birds were all chirping, and Chase couldn’t stop smiling. Even though they were going to be headed over to a crime scene, he was in a very good mood. He didn’t even care that the coffee from the precinct’s break room was nearly as burned as his hat. He had just spent the night with the man he loved, and he had never been so happy.

They informed dispatch of where they were going and went back outside to get Merrick’s car. The temptation to reach over and grab Merrick’s hand was strong, but Chase resisted.

They were on duty now, and they had to behave.

Specifically, Chase had to behave.

Other than a little smile as they got out of the car at Mr. Romero’s house, Merrick had given no indication than anything between them had changed. The dispatchers had definitely been eyeballing the two of them earlier, perhaps hoping for some sort of tell, but Merrick hadn’t given them a thing.

Chase wasn’t sure if he had, but it was impossible to hide how happy he was. His cheeks were sore from smiling so much, and he was worried he was being obvious.

As they entered the lush three-story home, he did his best to put on a serious face and not think about how sweet Merrick’s lips had tasted, or how soft his skin was, or all those amazing things those tentacles could do….

Damn.

“Good morning!” Milo greeted them as they walked into the marble-floored foyer. “Detective Chase, very special Detective Merrick. Welcome to Slappy Romero’s humble home.”

Merrick rolled his eyes and sighed.

“Nothing humble about these digs,” Chase remarked, glancing over the fancy surroundings. “Pretty sure that damn chair over there is worth more than my car.”

“Probably.” Milo headed upstairs, waving for them to follow. “Come on, dudes. I’ll show you what we got. You’re gonna love it.”

“Somehow I doubt that,” Merrick said dryly.

“Unless you happen to have video footage of the murder and a taped confession,” Chase chimed in.

“Almost as good,” Milo said mysteriously, ushering them into a lush office.

It had all the usual things that most offices did—a desk, a chair, some stacks of files, a few letters, and a modest computer setup.

It also had a corpse.

There was a dead man with a thick beard in a bathrobe on the floor in front of the desk, and his heart had been removed as before. The walls were covered with expensive-looking paintings, but there was a curious blank spot above the desk.

“So, that down there is Mr. Slappy,” Milo said, pausing as he turned to point up at the empty spot on the wall. “And that up there was our genuine Lord Collins painting.”

“Stolen,” Chase griped.

“Ah! But wait!” Milo bounced over to the desk and began typing on the computer. He clicked something and turned the monitor toward Chase and Merrick with a proud smile.

A video was playing, footage from a security camera aimed right at the front door. A man in a big coat walked into the frame, and Chase recognized him as Jeffrey Martin.

“Holy shit,” Chase scoffed as he watched Jeffrey letting himself into the house. “I’ll fuckin’ be.”

Milo clicked again, fast forwarding until Jeffrey was seen walking back out with the painting. “Boom! Okay, so we got Jeff coming in and going out with his precious painting. No murder weapon, but his prints are all over the front door.”

“How did he get in?”

“He had a key.”

“Why didn’t he just portal in?” Chase wondered out loud. “Wards?”

“Many,” Merrick confirmed. “I saw them when we came inside. Mr. Romero was very concerned about his safety. He was using very powerful magic that would prevent any mortal teleportation.”

“Not concerned enough,” Chase quipped. “He let somebody have a fuckin’ key to his house, and then Jeffy came on in and killed the crap out of him.” He scratched his head. “Any connection between Jeff and Slappy?”

“None that I’ve been able to find,” Milo replied. “I’m going to keep looking through his records, but so far we’ve got nothing. They both went to the same prison, but not at the same time. Slappy was there first, and he got out before Jeff got sent up.”

Chase idly poked at the letters on top of the desk, noting there was no return address. Instead, there was a little doodle of a flower. It looked so familiar….

“We can still totally slap some more murder charges on Jeffy boy when you guys find him,” Milo continued on excitedly. “We have the prints, the security footage, and I’m sure we’ll find his DNA on Slappy’s body.”

“But how did Mr. Martin know to come here?” Merrick challenged. “If they have no known social connections, as you say, it is very strange that he had a key.”

“Maybe some kinda enchanted skeleton key?”

“No residue on the door,” Merrick said, because of course he knew that. “The painting was last reported stolen from Mr. Romero’s gallery, and his home address is unlisted.”

“Tracking glyph,” Milo suggested. “Watchman spell. There’s a bunch of different ways to find someone. Maybe he followed Slappy here from the gallery once they figured out that the stolen one was a fake?”

“No, there is no trace of a spell having been cast on Mr. Romero.” Merrick scowled.

“Well, fine! Then you come up with something!” Milo hissed, throwing up his hands. “I’m not the detective here! Can’t you, ahem, divine something?”

“Even I have to work with evidence. It would be helpful if you could provide some.”

Chase continued to walk the perimeter of the room to look around, and he found a framed photograph of Mr. Romero. It was him posing in front of the Lord Collins painting in this very room, but he didn’t have his big beard. It must have been several years ago.

Merrick and Milo continued to argue, and Chase headed back over to the desk. He saw the letters again and picked one up. When he looked at the flower, he remembered where he’d seen it before. “Hey.”

“What is it, Detective Chase?” Merrick asked.

“Look,” he said, holding out the letter. “I saw this same stupid flower on some letters over at Martin’s house.”

“Oh, right,” Milo said. “Mr. Martin was part of a prison pen pal thing when he was in. People write letters to inmates and stuff. Daisy was supposed to find out who it was.”

“Looks like these are from when our pal Slappy was in.” Chase pointed to the prison address and the date. “We need to find out who was writing to both of these guys, like, yesterday.”

“I’ll call Daisy right now,” Milo promised, reaching for his phone.

Chase felt a strange lurch in his stomach. The flower—

“Would reading the letters be too obvious of a suggestion?” Merrick interrupted his thought process.

“Huh? Eat me.” Chase peeked inside the envelope and made a face. The writing within looked like total gibberish. He showed it to Merrick. “Any idea what that shit says?”

“No.”

“More godstongue?”

“No. It is some kind of cipher.” Merrick glanced over to Milo chatting away on the phone. He lowered his voice, saying, “Perhaps we could use your nephew’s starsight.”

“Wait, who has starsight?” Milo asked, still on the phone but staring at them curiously.

Chase grimaced and snapped, “Mind your damn beeswax, Milo!”

“Sheeeesh, sorry.” Milo pouted and returned to his conversation with Daisy. “He’s so grumpy. Maybe you-know-what didn’t actually go down with you-know-who.”

“We can hear you.” Merrick narrowed his eyes and growled. “Gossip will not be tolerated—”

“Come over here, grumpy.” Chase grabbed Merrick’s shoulder and gently steered him away. “Okay, listen. Martin is still in the wind, but maybe we can get Ollie to look over these letters. I can have Milo send us the ones from the other crime scene too. Maybe even try that photo of Slappy posing with the legit painting?”

“Milo can totally do that!” Milo called out.

“Stop eavesdropping, nosy ass!” Chase barked. “Find out who the hell sent those letters!” He sighed in frustration and turned back to Merrick.

“Well, now what?” Merrick asked.

“First, we get breakfast because I’m fuckin’ starving,” Chase replied. “Then we’ll go see Ollie and pray he’s sober enough to read this stuff.”