Antidote by LC Lehesaho

9

Oh, my fucking God.

I stare at Tiger's brown eyes, and shock ripples through my body. I can't even breathe. First of all, we both hear Falcon talking to someone just around the corner, trying to find me. And second… his hand is between my thighs, and I was just about to let him fuck me.

What is wrong with me?

Our eyes are locked, and I know that he knows. This was it—the wake-up call.

We almost made the biggest mistake of our lives.

Falcon curses to someone about what a hussy I am, she is not wrong, and then she apparently leaves because the voices fade away. I count to ten to make sure she's gone and then I buck Tiger off me with force, jerking my hands free from his hold. Which I’d loved.

"No." I throw my index finger up to stop whatever he is about to say or do and gather my breath. "No."

He doesn't move, of course, it's not like he'll rape me because I changed my mind.

"Fuck," I curse and bang the back of my head to the wall. The pain lingers inside me, from the hit, and from the knowledge that this might break us for good, knowing we can never look at each other the same again. I don't want that. I want my best friend back.

"Don't do it." His voice comes out as a rough plea. "Don't walk away from me."

I squeeze my eyes shut, keeping my head on the wall, my fists curled into balls at my sides.

"Cobra…"

"No."

"Please… we can make it work, you know? I know we can." Tiger sounds as tormented as I feel. "Don't walk away from me now."

I feel a tear rolling down my cheek, but I don't open my eyes. I can't. Feels like my world came crashing down. Reality hit me with a baseball bat straight to my face. Dropped me in the middle of an Arctic Ocean. Tore the heart from my chest and put it in a grinder.

We'll never be the same again.

I push myself off the wall and open my eyes, trying to keep myself together. I can't even look at him. I just… can't.

"I'm so fucking sorry." That's all I get out before I turn and walk away, not looking back.

But my heart is not following me. It stays in the hallway with Tiger, and I know I'm never going to get it back.

Because for the past five years, it hasn't belonged to me.

"Are you sure you need more?"

Luke watches me, slightly worried maybe, but how the fuck should I know what his worried face looks like? I don't know him. I don't want to know him. Right now, he is just a guy who orders me drinks and keeps other guys away from me.

I don't mean him. I haven't seen him since I walked away.

"When I want your opinion, Luke, I’ll ask for it. I'm sure I didn't frame that into a question," I growl at him, and I know I'm being a bitch, but that’s what happens when you don't have a heart.

Bitches don't have a heart.

"Are you going to get me that drink, or do I have to find someone who will?"

He takes a deep breath and nods. "I'll get it."

"And hey, while you're at it." The truck on my chest forces me to ask, no matter how much it hurts. "Let me know if you see my... If you see Tiger, okay?"

"Your brother?"

No. My fucking everything.

Pushing those thoughts aside, I force myself to nod. "Yeah, him. I need to know if he's still here."

"Sure thing, beautiful. I'll be back soon."

Luke gets up from the couch and walks to the bar, leaving me with my slightly suicidal thoughts. It was my luck that he was around and felt sorry for making me bleed, which wasn't his fault in the first place, but now I have someone to use as a shield. I texted Falcon, telling her to leave me alone, and well, my brothers have their own things going on, so no one is interested in what I do, especially if I keep Luke by my side. They think he is some one-night wonder I'm hitting it with. I let them think that because it's a surefire way to keep Dad away. He doesn't want to think about me having sex.

"I decided to make you happy and brought you the whole bottle." Luke slumps to the couch next to me and hands me the champagne bottle. "And I changed your order to that. Thought you could enjoy the gold sparkles when you vomit it in the toilet."

His Aussie accent makes him sound incredibly comical. That's the funniest shit ever, and if I'd been in a mood for laughing, I would have laughed my ass off.

"How considerate of you, thanks." I take the bottle and take a long swig. My taste buds were gone a long time ago, so I can't tell if it is good or not. I hand it to him, not being a complete bitch. "Want some? And did you see him?"

He takes a gulp and gives it back, watching me with his baby blue eyes. It makes quite a striking impression with the skull paint.

"No, I didn't. He probably left already, 'cause there was no sign of him," Luke answers, shrugging one shoulder. "I'm tempted to ask why you're drinking yourself under the table, but I know you wouldn't tell me, right?"

I hope to God that Tiger is okay, and he went home, not killing anyone on the way. We need to talk, that's for sure, but it's not possible tonight. I'm wasted, and he'd been drinking way more than usual, so the best thing for us is to stay far away from each other in this state.

I realize Luke is staring at me, clearly waiting for me to speak.

Did he ask something? Think, think...

Ah. "Correct, I wouldn't."

"I want to talk with you, but you make it slightly hard. You're not very approachable."

"Apparently, I'm enough approachable enough 'cause you're sitting right next to me even though you don't know who the fuck I am," I say before taking another long gulp. Pushing him out of my mind and trying to survive the night. The itch inside me wants me to carve my arms open for walking away. No—for letting things escalate that far in the first place.

The pleading look on his face is carved in my retinas, haunting me, killing me from the inside.

Don't think about it now. Make it through the night. Stay the fuck alive.

"Then tell me, who are you?"

"Cobra."

Luke laughs, all happy and wavy, not accepting my moody demeanor. "I know that. But who exactly is Cobra? Other than a stunningly beautiful girl who drinks like a man."

I turn my eyes from the bottle to him. "You think I'm beautiful?"

He nods with a wide smile. "Duh, ridiculously beautiful."

Then I remember what Falcon said about our horoscope. And the fact that I'm gonna be a heartless bitch from now on. Make myself forget. I tilt my head, looking him in the eyes. "So, do you want to fuck me?"

Luke starts to cough his lungs out, stunned. "What?"

"Do. You. Want. To. Fuck. Me." I can't say it any clearer than that. Communication is the key, that's what the stars foretold.

"Now?" He looks around like he's trying to find help.

"No, Luke. Next week, Wednesday at eight a.m. Of course, now goddammit."

"Uh, yes?" he answers like he's not quite sure if I'm joking or not.

"Good enough." I get up, swaying a bit from all the booze I've been drowning myself in, but I don't care. I take his hand in mine. "C'mon."

"Are you sure about this? Maybe when you're not so… uh, when you're sober?"

I turn to him, meeting him eye to eye. "What did I say earlier? When I want your opinion, I'll ask for it. I didn't. So, will you fuck me, or do I have to find someone else who will?"

"Bloody hell, Cobra, you're spicy. Yes, I will fuck you 'cause no way on earth I'm going to let someone else touch you. You're way too wasted." He shakes his head, a disapproving look on his face. "Someone could take advantage of you."

I laugh, I fucking laugh out loud. "You're a funny guy, Luke. Taking advantage of me? Bitch, please."

He gives me a judgmental look, but dear Luke doesn't know I can kill a man with my bare hands, even if I'm drunk as fuck.

I guide him outside because I don't want my Dad to jump out from behind anything, so inside the club is a no go. When we get just around the corner, I turn around and kiss him. Luke tastes like saltwater; fresh and clean.

I don't feel a fucking thing, but I'm not surprised. Why should I? There is nothing but pain inside of me—otherworldly anguish suffocating me, drowning me in darkness.

Now, everything I do is just trying to find a way to breathe without his help.

I run my fingers through Luke's hair and jump into his arms, wrapping my legs around him. Luke takes a firm hold on my ass and walks us, so my back meets the wall. I can feel his dick pressing through his jeans to my core, and I can't wait to forget. Sliding my other hand between us, I rip the snaps open between my thighs.

A restless groan escapes from my throat when I realize he's wearing a motherfucking belt. He’s holding me so tight that I don't have to worry about falling down while unbuckling the belt with both hands. Not that I would be worried. I could drop down from an airplane for all I care.

"Are you sure about this?" Luke breathes into my mouth.

"Why are you still talking?"

"Fine. Do you have condoms?" he asks me, slightly frustrated. "I don't, 'cause I don't do things like this."

"Fuck girls outside of the club?" I mock but quickly restrain myself, so I don't scare him off. "No, I don't have condoms. I'm clean, though, and I take the pill."

He leans back to look at my face. "I'm clean too, but…"

Like I care about his health records. I don't care about anything. But the knight in a shiny armor seems like he needs some convincing.

"I promise I'm not lying. Babies are the last thing I want, and I was tested just a couple of weeks ago, and I haven't fucked anyone since." It's true. Dry season.

"You're ruining me, darling." He sighs but helps me get his dick out of his jeans and pushes himself inside me with one long thrust. "Bloody hell, you feel so good…"

I can't argue. He feels fucking amazing. But then again, probably all dick feels the same. I've ruined his skull paint already by kissing him like there is no tomorrow, and I have no fucking clue who he is, but I need him more than anyone or anything else at the moment. I need him to take my body, sink into me, and make me forget.

Forget.

"Harder," I moan, digging my nails into his neck, and he delivers.

The stranger makes me forget who I am.