Antidote by LC Lehesaho

38

"How the fuck are you here?" Cobra demands, her brows snapping into a tight line as she stares at me from the passenger's seat.

"I changed places with Bear, obviously," I answer, and roll the Explorer out of the yard. It took some blackmailing, Bear doesn’t want anyone to know about the baby yet.

Shitty move? Yes.

Do I care? No.

I've been fucking up recently, more often than I can count, so having Bear mad at me is the least of my problems. Everything I've done has taken me in the wrong direction, further away from her.

She's been running away from me.

It's not right because all I need is her. She is everything.

And I've been pushing and pushing, but clearly from the wrong end. I need to change something, try something else, so I stop hitting my head against the fucking wall. I realized it this morning when I woke up in Cobra's hallway with a motherfucking hangover and found out later that she'd been sleeping on Bear's couch because she doesn't have a lock on her door. Yeah, she knows me, and it was a smart choice. Fortunately, she doesn't know that I was sleeping in her apartment.

Or maybe more like passed out, but who cares.

Cobra stares at me, shaking her head slowly like she doesn't believe her eyes. "Oh, my God. I'm not prepared for this."

"Phew, you've had days to prepare yourself, so gimme a break," I huff at her and pull on my Ray-Bans. Motherfucking hangover. I take a swig from my water bottle while driving, but it tastes like shit. Doesn't surprise me though.

"You smell horrible," she states, folding her arms across her chest.

"I stopped throwing up about ten minutes before getting into the car, so go figure."

"I can drive if you want? There's a big back seat. You can sleep that hangover off." Cobra cocks an eyebrow, her tone now smoother than earlier.

I watch her naturally tanned skin, how it makes her face glow, and her long pitch-black lashes curving up as she looks at me with a sincere kindness in her big hazel brown eyes. Her pink hair has dark roots already, the same chocolate brown color as her brows. She's pulled it into a messy bun on top of her head, which, combined with an oversized white T-shirt and black leggings, make her look incredibly casual. But to me, she is the most mesmerizing thing I've ever seen.

I shake my head at her question. "No, I’d rather drive."

"You still don't trust my driving skills?" Cobra gives me a blank look.

No, I just don't want to miss a second of the time with you. But I promised myself I wouldn't push her. So, I smirk at her. "I don't want to die today."

"Asshole," Cobra mutters under her breath, turning forward she lifts her heels to the seat's edge. Her hand goes to the stereo, and she starts to skip songs on my playlist. “Mama Said Knock You Out” by Five Finger Death Punch is her choice, which is a clear fucking statement because she doesn't even listen to the band herself. Of course, she knows every song from my list because it plays all the time in my apartment.

Going through the list in my head, I pick a perfect song. I make a quick tap on the panel on the steering wheel, changing the song—"All or Nothing” by Theory of a Deadman.

Cobra spins her head in my direction, narrowing her eyes. I keep my gaze on the road, tapping my fingers against the wheel, and whistle along with the music. When it comes the part you've got all that I need I fucking feel it, and from the corner of my eye, I see her swallow and bite her cheek.

She fucking feels it too, but being a stubborn donkey, she won't give up her grudge.

We cross the borders of Shangri-la and the next city too until Cobra opens her mouth again. I am in no hurry to speak, I just love being around her.

"I'm hungry."

A smile creeps to my face. "I know, but it won't take long until we're there. Ten minutes, can you manage?"

"Exactly where is there?" She cocks her head to the side.

"You'll see."

Her eyes widen. "Tiger, where are you taking us? I thought we were going to the hotel, and it's like… half an hour away."

"Just wait, I promise you'll like it."

Or she might also hate it, but I'm trying to be an optimistic motherfucker. I'm getting a fierce glare from her direction, but she doesn't say anything. Her foot taps nervously, I don't know if it's because she doesn't know where we are going or the fact that she doesn't want to spend time alone with me. I'm starting to think that I need to become religious and pray for God's help to get her forgiveness.

I take the next exit from the highway, trying to memorize the map in my mind because I don't want to use the navigation system, so our destination stays as a surprise. Cobra gives me suspicious looks from time to time but mostly looks around with curiosity shining from her eyes.

It doesn’t take long until I know I'm definitely going in the right direction because the scenery starts to change. The road changes from asphalt to gravel and the trees begin to get bigger and bigger on both sides of the road. It's a good thing that we're in the Explorer because it's made for conditions like this.

"Are you going to bury me here?" Cobra says while eyeing the forest.

I laugh, but it's actually as sad as it is funny that she honestly says it as a real question. "No, baby, I didn't bring you here for that."

Then the scenery opens up as the road comes to an end. The giant cliff cuts off the forest, opening the view to the lake over fifteen feet below.

"Holy mother of fuck, what is this place?" Cobra sighs, fascinated, her face glued to the windshield. That look on her face is everything. My heart is expanding out of my goddamn chest when I look at her.

"That's Lake Urqus." I get out of the car and wave my hand for her to follow. "C'mon."

While she gets out, I take the cooler from the back seat and then follow her to the cliff. She looks around, stunned, taking in the breathtaking view. The lake isn't huge, but the cliff surrounds a third of it. At this time of the day, the rays of sunshine glimmer over the surface of the water.

"This is… beautiful," she gasps, taking a step closer to the edge she peeks down.

"You like it?" I ask eyes on her, not on the view.

"Yeah, I love it." She leans even closer to the edge, eyes roaming over the water below. I reach my hand to her, threading my fingers through hers, and Cobra's eyes snap back to me.

"Just to make sure you don't fall," I tell her, even though touching her makes me want to pull her against me and meld her body to mine.

Cobra's eyes drop to the cooler in my other hand. There's a slight worry line between her brows, and I know her mind has started finding excuses to get us the fuck out of here.

"It's not like that. I'm not trying to seduce you or force you to make a decision about us," I say, walking on a thin line of truth and a white lie. I'm not seducing her—I'm showing her what could be. What we could be. "Just hanging out, like we used to do, okay?"

She lets out a long exhale, relaxing. "Yeah, okay. So, what do you have there? I'm starving. I swear that if you don't have—"

"Nutella." I cut her off with a smug smirk. "You think I don't know you, baby?"

Her cheeks blush, and she pulls her hand away from mine, starting to adjust the scrunchie in her hair. The move lifts her shirt up, exposing a sliver of her stomach and pulling it even tighter across her big tits.

The image of her in my bathroom, naked with her back arched when she came around my fingers flashes into my mind.

Cobra reads it on my face instantly. The color on her face deepens, which is cute as fuck. She jerks her hands down and crosses her arms over her chest, like she’s shutting herself off from me.

I rein in my urge to pull her to me and kiss her the way I know she'd give in. I decide to take it slow. Give her time.

Like I haven't been giving her time for fucking years, but still.

I fucked-up, I know it. This time, I’m going to learn from my mistakes and be better for her.

"C'mon, I can hear your stomach growling," I say to her, pulling on a wide smile. I sit down on the rock, stretching my legs in front of me and crossing them at the ankles. Picking up a sandwich wrapped in foil, I glance at Cobra. She stays where she's at, scanning me with a mysterious gleam in her eyes.

"Well?" I wave the Nutella bread in the air, persuading her to sit down. Within these last weeks, her eyes have gotten harder to read. Tougher.

Cobra takes a step and another, then gracefully lands next to me, far enough so our legs won't touch when she crosses them in front of her. Without looking at me, she takes the bread and starts to unwrap it.

I’ve never wanted anything more than I want to wrap my arms around her right now.

I miss touching her.

Feeling her close to me.

Breathing her in and keeping her in my arms.

There is a fucking hole in my chest because of this distance between us.

And there is no one else to blame but myself.

"You know I read a lot when I was a kid?" she says, her beautiful timbre lower than usual, and she keeps her head down, looking at her hands still slowly tearing pieces of the foil.

I bend my knees, leaning forward and resting my elbows on them. "Yeah, I know. You still do."

Cobra nods, scooping Nutella from the bread with her finger she sticks it in her mouth. My skin tingles, and I feel myself growing harder by the second watching her, even though she didn't mean it in any way sexually.

I ignore my heated body and focus on listening to what she wants to say.

"Whenever I screwed up in school or training or anything, the stories were a way for me to escape my thoughts. I dreamed of myself in another world." Cobra sighs and lifts her head, looking at the lake. Even from the side, I see her furrowed brows and feel the need to kiss those angsty lines away from her forehead.

But I stay still, waiting for her to continue.

"I've always been very good at hiding myself in those worlds. In stories that aren't mine. I'm not Rapunzel or Mulan or not even fucking Wendy. I've never been a heroine, nor a damsel in distress. But I've always had a story of my own. A world and a life of my own." She drops her head down, eyeing the bread again. "It's just always been too scary for me to live it. I read the first chapter and continuing to read it has scared the shit out of me for years."

I have no fucking clue where this is going or what to say, or does she even expect me to comment? Before I can decide if I should go with ah, okay or hmph she continues.

"I don't know the genre of my story, and it's terrifying. It's been keeping me away from it 'cause I don't want it to end up being something Del Toro might have written. I don't want it to end up being a horror story." Cobra turns her hazel eyes to me. "But the truth is that I can't keep hiding in other stories while mine is waiting for me. Otherwise, it never ends."

My heartbeat is thundering in my ears, and I feel the cold shivers raising goose bumps on my skin. Fuck, I can already hear her saying that she's fucking done with me. That she's had enough of my fuck-ups.

Cobra's eyes are completely unreadable, and it scares me to death.

"And if it never ends, the lost boys in it won't find their way back home." She swallows, taking a breath. "Tiger, you've always been the one in my story, and you always will be. But I can't skip lines or chapters just because they're hard, okay? They're still there, and they need to be read, no matter how much it hurts. Now I need to read line by line so that I can be with you. Otherwise, we won't root in the story, and we’ll end up hurting each other again."

I gape at her, heart pounding through my chest. "You mean, you want to be with me? Like a real deal?"

She scoops the Nutella with her finger again, her eyes on mine when she sticks her finger in her mouth and sucks it clean and nods. "Yes, a real deal. But only if you read it with me line by line. We're not jumping the gun, okay? And you will learn to listen before you act. If you can do that, I promise I won't be nearly as stubborn as I usually am."

If I've ever been happier, I don't fucking remember the day.

"Oh, fuck." I place my hand on my chest because it feels like it’s exploding and let myself fall on my back on the rock.

"What are you doing? What's wrong with you?" Cobra stares at me, stunned.

I know I look like a brain-damaged idiot with this goddamn grin on my face, but I can't help it. "I'm so fucking relieved I could die. Oh, baby, I love you so much." I reach my hand toward her. "Come here, I need to hold you."

She snorts. "You wish. I said that we're not gonna jump into this. We're taking this slowly, line by line, remember?"

"Now the line clearly says to cuddle with the love of your life," I tell her, lifting my other hand to block the sun from my eyes so that I can see her. Fuck, she is hypnotizing.

And she's really not fucking kidding, she said that she's mine.

"No, it doesn't. It says that I'm gonna eat all of these Nutella sandwiches and leave you none." Cobra smirks, taking a huge bite. Then she speaks with her mouth full, her voice muffled. "But I love you too."