Mafia Boss’s Arranged Bride by Bella King

Chapter 25

Annika

Why would you ask someone who just lost their entire family and fiancé why they were writing a will? Even if someone doesn’t end up killing us, I might end my own life if I can’t see a way to be happy again. Sexual intimacy isn’t enough to wash away the pain. It always returns, and when it does, it feels like double.

“I’m sorry for bothering you, but try not to anger James. You’re here because he lets you be here,” he says under his breath, his eyes darting around the room to make sure nobody is listening in. I don’t see why he would care, though.

I can feel the heat of my blood pricking me under my skin. I want to jab the pen I’m using into his hand as he leans on the table, but what good what it do? He’s the one keeping me safe, but I’m still annoyed, nonetheless.

“We’re getting out of here soon,” Nikolai says, but it sounds like his words are only meant to calm me down, not to tell the truth.

“Let me know when we leave. In the meantime, leave me the fuck alone,” I growl through bared teeth. I get up from where I’m sitting and storm off to the shipping container where I have been cordoned off since the day of the massacre. I’ve never felt like more of a caged animal in my entire life.

I slide down the metal into a pile of blankets. Tears sting my eyes, and I am immediately so fucking agitated with myself, both for being unable to control my emotions and for those emotions to be primarily ones of sadness or anger.

I’ve shown a tremendous amount of weakness in the last few days, and everybody here knows it. I’ve tried to be better, I’ve tried to contribute, but my resolve collapses at the slightest provocation, and I am reduced to a pile of shaking and tears.

Part of me resents Nikolai for bringing me here and making me catch feelings for him when I could have been perfectly fine on my own. Maybe I would have just taken the first plane to California, renamed myself something exotic, and relearned how to live life as a totally normal person.

I’m not helpless, even if Nikolai sees me as such.

At this point, even a loveless and boring marriage to Michail would be preferred to the complete insanity and unknown danger of my life at present. At least in a loveless marriage, you can still feel safe and find joys in everyday life, which wouldn’t be so difficult with the kind of money that Michail’s family has.

But that will be impossible now. I’m sealed into a fate that I didn’t choose, slowly falling in love with a man who is just as dangerous and hardheaded as the rest of them, and my will isn’t even fucking done yet because nobody will leave me alone for two minutes to finish it.

I wander out of the shipping container, knowing that Nikolai will likely be up to try to comfort me. He always does that, and somehow, it always leads to sex, but that’s not what I need right now. I have to get my head straight, and if we really are leaving soon, I need to be strong again.

I find one of the broken windows in the loft and gaze out the small hole in the glass. It’s windy again; the weather has made each day feel like a repeat of the last, like I’m reliving the day of the massacre all over again.

I can see the skyline from here, and if I look closely enough, I can even see the form of the building the wedding was supposed to take place in, the building where the slaughter took its place. From here, I can’t see a swarm of reporters or police cars or caution tape, but I know it’s there. It’s all there.

Nikolai has followed me up to the loft, and when I hear him approaching, I feel aggression rising in me. I immediately want to scream at him to leave me alone, to just allow me some reprieve from the constant tactical conversation and next-step planning.

As much as everybody has complained about me being rude and overly aggressive, I’m amazed how callous they’ve been toward me, knowing my circumstances as if I’m just another statistic in war, another faceless victim to the mafia.

I turn away from Nikolai as I feel the heat of his body behind me. I wanted him to leave me alone, but now that he’s here, I find myself not wanting him to go. He’s the rock in my unstable world, and as cold as he can be, it’s better than the alternative.

“I’m not trying to bother you, Annika,” he says, a subtle note of regret in his voice. He’s aware that his presence isn’t exactly welcomed, but he’s come up anyway. I wonder why.

I choose to stay silent, waiting him out to see what he really has to say.

After a few moments, he relents. “We can’t work together if you don’t talk to me,” he says.

I sigh and turn around, looking him in the eyes. “That’s the problem, Nikolai. I don’t want to be working together with you. I don’t want this life at all. I obviously can’t take back what happened, and I can’t change the life I was given or the way I was raised, but right now, I can’t help but feel like both of our lives were corrupted beyond repair by the greed of our parents and we will never be able to live normal lives.”

His expression sinks, but I keep talking, the words flowing out of my mouth uncontrollably. “I don’t want to work with you. I want to work an office job that I don’t hate but don’t love either. I want to spend too much on takeout and hide my credit card bills from my lame husband. I don’t want to ever, ever be in a position to lose my life so easily like I have been,” I reply as my voice breaks.

For once, he is the silent one, not to be petty and immature like I was choosing to be, but because he knows I’m right, because he is considering what I’ve said, what he’s lost.

Instead of replying right away, he steps closer to me and looks out the chipped portion of the window with me. “You see that loading dock over there?” he says, pointing across the water to a series of huge boats.

I nod.

“That’s where me and James used to get high when we were younger. There was a loose brick in the wall of one of the buildings where we would keep our shit, so we didn’t get caught with it at home,” he says. “It was so long ago, but I remember it well because Michail was always so pissed about me having a good time.”

I laugh a little. “I guess that makes sense. I’m not about to pretend I think you wouldn’t do something like that,” I reply, imagining younger versions of Nikolai and James, so fresh and full of mischief. It’s so easy to picture, so natural.

“That’s also where I watched James’ brother get shot in the face twice. He had gotten caught up with a rival family because he was having issues with his own, and he pissed off the wrong people. He fell to the ground, and the sound of his head splatting against the pavement has never left me,” Nikolai explains, his story taking a quick turn for the worst. “James says he doesn’t remember it. He must’ve blocked it out. I do remember it, though, and it’s reminded me every time I have thoughts like yours that I never had a chance to be normal. And when you think of it, lots of people don’t.”

I stand in stunned silence. I have never come close to seeing something so shocking. My father always made sure I was far from any family involvements or interactions where an execution was taking place.

I’ve heard stories like Nikolai’s, but I had never been anywhere near something like that. The closest I’ve gotten is that woman in the pink dress who fell in front of me at the wedding. The blood stands out in my dreams like a red traffic light – a warning of the danger I was in.

Nikolai clears his throat. “That’s when I realized that people like us are never, ever going to have a normal life. And to be honest, there are different versions of hell that some people are born into; this is just one of them.”

“What could be worse than this?” I ask.

He shrugs. “Some people are born with agonizing diseases, some people end up in war-torn countries; some people live in places where they’re thrown from buildings for kissing the wrong person. There are different ways to suffer in life, infinite ways to suffer.”

“So, life just fucks you no matter what,” I say, feeling no better from what he’s said.

“Sort of,” he replies. “I try to envision what it would be like to lie awake in a hospital room, all kinds of tubes and lines and shit coming out of my body, and then have nobody there to be with me. That’s the kind of life I wouldn’t trade this one for. I don’t know; that’s just how I see shit, I guess.”

I’m brought back to tears, and for the first time in a long time, the tears are for someone else instead of myself. My life isn’t as bad as I thought it could be. It’s horrible, yes, but it’s not over.

“Anyway,” Nikolai continues, “I know somebody that might be able to help us find out what has become of Michail and the rest of the family.

I jump at the suggestion. “Really?! When can we go? Where is this person?” I blurt.

Nikolai’s face changes a bit, from contemplative to concerned and perhaps a little bit uncomfortable. “Well, I know of him, and I’m not sure if he’s going to agree to help us.”

“Who is it?”

He cringes, and I know I’m not going to like what he’s about to say. “He’s a cop. My dad pays him off to give him information about where the cops are in relation to his dealings. So, needless to say, he isn’t a good person. Chances are he knew this was going to happen in the first place, so we need to be very careful about how we go about it.”

The mafia seeking help from the police, our sworn enemy?

Ridiculous.

Any hope I had has drained itself happily from my brain and left the void of uncertainty right where it was left. I collapse a little bit into myself. “This fucking sucks,” I say, an echo following my words and instantly making me self-conscious.

Nikolai sighs. “Yeah, I know, but it’s not completely hopeless. I really don’t know anything about this guy. If he’s acting as a double agent, perhaps he’s also open to going triple. We’ll get something out of him, even if it’s his life.”

“Really?” I ask.

He nods, a smirk spreading over her lips. “We’re getting out of here, Annika. Pack up your stuff tonight. We leave at daybreak.”