Possess Me by Michelle Heard

 

Chapter 18

 

Alek

 

It’s been a month since my world came to an end.

This time I’m a prisoner in my bedroom because every time I lay eyes on my father, I lose my mind.

I begged Misha to go to the field. I at least wanted Everleigh to be buried so she wasn’t just lying out in the open.

Christ. My heart.

I grip the fabric over my chest, the pain too intense to breathe.

Misha didn’t find Everleigh in the field, which means someone already discovered her body. It’s not comforting at all. Strangers are handling the body of the only woman I’ll ever love. She didn’t even get a funeral.

I can’t. I can’t deal with this. It’s too much.

Standing in front of the window, I stare at nothing as my mind is tortured.

I have no will to live.

“Alek,” Misha whispers behind me.

“Hmm.”

“Talk to me.”

“About what?”

He takes hold of my shoulder and turns me so I’ll look at him. “Anything…everything.”

Everything.

The beating, the whipping, the knife through my hand. The starvation and hunger pains. My body withering away. Watching Everleigh fade away.

The darkness.

Making love to Everleigh.

Kissing her.

Whispering for hours on end as we got to know each other.

Vincent. His broken body and the look of acceptance in his eyes. 

They’re gone, and I’m still here.

Like always, when I think about them, my breathing speeds up, and my heart beats uncontrollably.

Rage overwhelms me, and unable to kill my father, I let out a roar as I start to trash the room. I grab the bedside table and throw it against the wall. I rip the sheets off the bed and flip the base over.

I need to destroy everything the way I’ve been destroyed.

Misha grabs me from behind. “I’ve got you, brother.”

A broken cry is ripped from my destroyed soul, and as I slump to my knees, Misha tightens his hold on me.

“We’ll get through this. I’m here.” His voice is loaded with emotion. “I’m still here. You still have me.”

My grief and trauma are too much to handle, and I break down.

With my best friend holding me, my voice is hoarse as I say, “I lost them. After everything, I still lost them.”

“You have me,” he says again.

I grab fistfuls of my hair and shake my head.

Misha lets go of me and comes to sit in front of me. His eyes carry a world of worry and pain. “Talk to me, brother. Tell me what happened.”

Again I shake my head.

He just watches me for minutes.

I shift onto my ass, and pulling my knees up, I lower my head. “Everleigh,” I whisper, my voice filled with unbearable loss. “We were locked in a dark room.”

I only found out afterward Prodi had us for over two months.

“They starved us.”

Misha keeps quiet, and he doesn’t try to comfort me. He’s probably too scared I’ll lose my shit or stop talking.

I don’t blame him. Insane people are unpredictable.

Destructive emotions bubble in my chest. It feels as if the hell we endured has taken up residence in my soul.

The torment will never stop.

“I loved Everleigh,” I whisper. “Love. I love her.” Lifting my head, I lock eyes with Misha. “It feels like I’ve lost my soul.” I give him a pleading look. “I’m still stuck in the darkness, but she’s not there. I can’t think straight. I can’t live without her.”

Misha lifts his hand, and gripping my shoulder, he leans closer. “She would’ve wanted you to live, brother.”

Anger flares through me like a missile. “I wanted her to live! It doesn’t matter what she wants because she’s rotting in some unmarked grave!”

My emotions spiral, and I lose my mind.

“Alek!” I hear Misha shout.

I feel his hands as everything goes black, and I’m sucked into the darkness, where I keep shouting for Everleigh.

But there’s no answer.

There’s only the silence of death.