Prey Drive by Jen Stevens
Chapter 45
the lamb
York comes to an end far sooner than I'm ready. Despite my lack of rest each night, I'm able to pick up all the information I need to start doing my job on my own, and have managed to build a great support network within the company if I have any questions.
It's the oddest thing. I've brought myself to a place of being completely okay, all on my own. If you told me a year ago that any of this was possible, I'd probably laugh in your face. Even more, I handed over my entire savings and bailed my mother out along the way. That alone deserves some sort of reward after what she’s done to me.
Of course, I would be remiss not to acknowledge Bash's hand in my path to independence. If it weren't for him, I'd still be slinging coffees at Old Soul and walking dogs for Mrs. Botless. My skepticism and hesitancy toward him are beginning to be overshadowed by dangerous admiration. He spews all this nonsense about the horrible things he’s done, and while I’m perfectly aware of how he tends to blur the lines between inappropriateness and personal boundaries, I can’t imagine a man who does so much good for the world is capable of anything as bad as he tries to say.
It’s not like he moonlights as a serial killer, right? At least, not when he’s busy stalking me at night…
“Don’t go back,” he begs on Sunday evening as I’m packing up the last of my things from my guest bedroom. I haven't stayed in here since that first night. Each night this week, Bash has carried me into his room and we've spent all hours of the night christening his bed together.
Where the rest of his living spaces are decorated in sterile whites and grays, his room is a bruised cave of black and blue. The most comfortable black duvet lays across his enormous bed, and the curtains remain pulled shut so no sunlight gets in until he opens them.
He grabs both of my hands up into his, cradling them delicately like I’m the most precious thing he’s ever held. His brows are pulled together tighter than I’ve ever seen them, and his full lips are turned down into a sad pout.
My mind quickly adds this version of him to the ever-growing list.
“I have to.”
“Says who?” he asks, his tone edging on desperate.
“It’s my home.”
It’s a weak excuse. I know it is. But it’s the only thing tethering me to the ground right now to stop me from floating away in the oblivious cloud with him after the week we’ve shared. The only thing stopping me from dropping everything and running away with the man who stands before me.
“Fuck that. Styx doesn’t have anything good to offer you, Jovie, and you know it,” he spits incredulously, his eyes wild. This is a man who isn’t used to being denied what he wants.
“My family is there,” I whisper brokenly.
Another paper-thin excuse. Halen and Kennedy would understand, and they’re the only people who matter. Would it be such a tragedy if my mother couldn’t ever find me again? If I dropped completely off of Gabe’s radar?
“Stay with me,” he repeats, a little more insistent. “I need you to stay with me. You aren’t safe there alone.”
“I don’t know what that means,” I admit honestly. The only real threat in my life was him, and I’ve fallen right into his clutches.
This monster standing before me is the reason my entire life has imploded, but I can’t even muster up a shred of resentment toward him for it. I only resent myself for not seeing the warning signs before I fell for him.
He doesn’t bother arguing. Instead, his gaze darkens and his voice drops.
“Stay,” he commands.
“I can’t stay with you Bash. I don’t even fucking know you.”
I’m convincing myself more than him. Taking the job, renting my home from him, staying in his penthouse—all of these were concessions I made against my better judgment. How far can I allow him to bend my will until my life is completely unrecognizable?
“That’s bullshit. You know me better than anyone else.”
I shake my head, rolling my lips into a firm line before I say something I don’t mean. I can’t fucking stand that he’s ruining the amazing week we had with this silly argument.
“I’m not going to ask you again. If you leave today, the offer leaves with you.”
My mouth goes slack, my eyes widening in complete shock that he’s putting me in this difficult position.
“That’s not fair. You gave me this job so I can work it remotely. From Styx. Because that’s where my life is.”
“Goddamnit, Jovie, this isn’t about the fucking job. It’s not about your shitty family. It’s about protecting your life. It’s about reaping the consequences for laying down all your inhibitions and allowing a monster like me around you.”
“Protecting my life? Bash, you aren't making any sense. What the hell are you wrapped up in? What changed this week?”
“Everything,” is all he says. His entire demeanor shifts back into the man I first met—the dangerous stalker who speaks in code.
And I realize, without a shadow of a doubt, that by tangling myself with him, I've stepped into a world I can't fully understand. One I have no self-governing over. No freedom.
If I stay with him, I'll become a prisoner.