Strictly for Now by Carrie Elks

CHAPTERNINE

ELI

After winning our next two games the atmosphere in the locker room has done a one-eighty degree flip. Everybody is smiling, turning up early for practice. Even I manage to crack a smirk when Goran comes in with coffee for everybody then insists on taking one upstairs to Mackenzie, because he still thinks he’s her best friend.

And yeah, I don’t like it. Not because I think there’s anything going on between them, but because I’ve been actively avoiding her and I feel like an ass about it. I saw her in the hallway after our first win and she smiled widely at me and I just nodded and walked away.

Yep. Asshole.

And now I’m annoyed with my twenty-one-year-old Swedish center half because he can go up and give her coffee and joke around with her and I can’t.

When he comes back down, he’s grinning and it annoys me even more. “Get your kit on and get out on the ice,” I tell him. “You missed some simple passes last night.”

The smile melts from his face. “Sorry. I didn’t…” He shakes his head. “What passes?”

I pinch my nose with my finger and thumb. “It doesn’t matter.”

“No, seriously, what passes? Should I look at the recording first?” He’s so earnest and I feel even worse.

He’s a good kid. He doesn’t deserve me taking my annoyance out on him. “It’s okay. You just need to spend a little less time in the offices and a little more time practicing.”

“Sorry. I was just giving Mac some advice about her clothes.”

When did he start calling her Mac? And why would she ask for his sartorial advice? It’s not as though he’s some kind of fashion icon. He wears sweats and hoodies to the rink every day.

“She has a date,” Goran adds, as though he can read my thoughts. “She wanted to know which dress looked the best.”

My brows pull in tight. “A date with who?” I ask him.

He shrugs. “Some guy.”

“Did she try the clothes on in front of you?”

“No.” He looks at me as though I’m an idiot. “She held them up. They’re both pretty.”

I open my mouth to ask for more information. And then I close it pretty fucking fast. It’s none of my business. What do I care if she’s going out with another guy? She’s a free agent, she can do what she likes.

“Did she say where she’s going on this date?” I ask Goran.

He makes a face that tells me he has no idea. “I only want to know that she’ll be safe,” I tell him. The same way I’d want to know that about anybody in the backroom.

“Yeah.” He nods. “I should have asked her.”

“It doesn’t matter,” I tell him. “Just go get on the ice,” I tell him. “I’ll be out in a minute.” The others are already out there warming up.

“Sure.” He flashes me a smile. The kid has the whitest teeth I’ve ever seen. “You doing okay, boss?”

“I’m absolutely fine.” I tell him. “I just want you to connect with every pass you get.”

* * *

MACKENZIE

I’m already regretting agreeing to this date. I replied to all five messages after talking to Rachel. Two of them didn’t reply back – maybe I pissed them off that I didn’t respond right away – and two of them didn’t seem that interested in meeting up at all.

The fifth – Andrew Casinger – is a lawyer, working for a firm in the center of Morgantown. He’s suggested we meet up for dinner at a bar around the corner from his office.

I look at my watch then head into the bathroom to check that my hair and makeup are still okay. They are, which isn’t any surprise since it’s only twenty minutes since I did them, but still.

I’m nervous. And I’m also enjoying dressing up for once. It’s a strange combination.

It’s almost seven-thirty by the time I head down the stairs to the staff entrance. I hear talking in the locker room so I walk on by, but then I hear my name being called.

Goran jogs to catch up with me. “You look great,” he tells me. “I knew that red dress would work.”

I’d been trying to decide between this one and a little black dress when he came in with my coffee this morning. Since I’d promised Eli I’d make it clear to Goran that I wasn’t interested I didn’t think it would do any harm to tell him about my date and get some clothing advice at the same time.

And he was actually helpful. The red dress works better. It’s more casual which works for a mid-week date. It’s made of soft jersey and wraps around my body, tying at the side and then flaring down to my knees. I’ve teamed it with some strappy heels and for once I have my hair down.

“Thanks for your help with it.” I felt better once I got a second opinion, especially as Rachel wasn’t answering her phone.

“Any time.” He shifts his feet. “Ah, did you tell somebody where you’re going?”

My brows pinch. “I told you,” I say.

Goran shakes his head, and his golden hair shakes with him. “I mean where you’ll be. In case anything happens on your date.”

I’m still bemused. “In case what happens?”

“I don’t know.” He grimaces. “Eli just said that I should have asked.”

“Eli said you should ask me?” I blink. “Why?”

“He wants you to be safe.”

Color me confused. “How does Eli know about my date?”

“I told him.” Goran looks down at his sneakers. They’re the popular ones with the white soles that all the athletes are wearing. “Was that wrong?”

“No, it’s fine.” There’s a weird prickly feeling on my neck though. I reach back and touch it, half expecting it to be damp with sweat. I’m trying to decide if I’m annoyed he knows about the date or if I’m annoyed he hasn’t said anything about it.

I’m not sure which one is true.

“I’m going to Wine and Dine,” I say. Because actually he’s right. It’s a good idea that somebody knows where I’ll be. I should message Rachel, too. Goran’s a lovely kid but he could definitely forget if he doesn’t write it down.

“I know you are. But where will you be doing it?” he asks.

I laugh. “That’s the name of the place I’m going to. Wine and Dine on the corner of Laurel and Krepps.”

“Oh.” His eyes widen. “It’s a name and a description. Cool.”

“Yep. Let’s hope they make good food, too.” I give him a wave. “I should go before I’m late.” Who am I kidding, I’m already late. I don’t want to be the one sitting at the table waiting for my date to arrive. “Have a good evening.”

“You too.”

I’m almost at the door to the parking lot when I see Eli stalking down the hallway looking like a man on a mission. He’s wearing gray sweatpants and a Mavericks t-shirt that clings to his chest showing every ridge of muscle. His eyes catch mine and sweep down and I immediately blush because he’s looking at my dress. It’s tight, probably too tight, but I haven’t been on a date in months. Okay, years. And I wanted to feel good.

“Going somewhere nice?” he asks. There’s a tic in his cheek.

He knows I’m going on a date. Goran told me that. But if I say anything he’ll know that I know and…

This is way too complicated and I don’t have time.

“To meet a friend.”

“Hmm.”

It’s stupid because I want him to tell me I look pretty. Part of me even wants him to beg me not to go, because there’s still this weird pull between us I can’t name. But he doesn’t. He just stares at me for a moment too long.

“You should probably put a jacket on. It’s getting cooler out there.”

I lift a brow. “It’d ruin the line of my dress.”

And he’s looking at my body.

Again.

And I’m blushing.

Again.

This is stupid. I’m going to be even later.

“Have a good evening.” I reach for the door knowing I’m making the right decision. This thing between me and the coach has to stop. We work together. More than that, I work for his boss.

My career always comes first.

“Mackenzie?”

Surprised that he’s still there, I look over my shoulder at him. “Yes?”

“I’ll be here until late,” he says. “If you get into any trouble, call me.”

“I won’t get into any trouble.”

A ghost of a smile passes his lips. “Yeah, well just in case. You have my number, right?”

I nod, because I have everybody’s number.

“Good.” He nods, his eyes narrow for a moment as he looks at me. I don’t break his stare because… well, I don’t want to appear weak.

His lips twitch again before he turns away and stalks his way back up the hallway, and I pull the door open, trying to ignore the way my heart is speeding in my chest.

* * *

ELI

I spend the next hour alone on the ice, slamming puck after puck into the net to wear off the energy that’s driving me mad.

The rink is covered in shaved ice. I’m going to have to call the rink manager to come in early. But I still can’t stop because I’m pissed with myself for caring that she’s out with somebody else.

Which is stupid. I made it clear to her I’m not interested. That I regretted what happened between us that night outside the locker room. But I didn’t expect to feel this fucking annoyance at her taking me at my word and meeting up with another guy.

I whack the puck toward the goal one more time. It hits the net, and the goal shakes for a moment. Then I let out a sigh because this is all messed up.

I should follow Mackenzie’s lead. Go out. Find somebody who doesn’t want to be lonely tonight. Bury myself in them until every emotion is numb.

But I don’t want just anybody. For some stupid reason every time I touch myself it’s her that I see. That I smell. I’ve touched myself, imagining what it would feel like to make her come on my tongue. To keep doing it until she’s wrung out and as empty as I am.

Okay. That’s it. I’m officially messed up. And I’m going home. I skate over to remove the goal because it’s the least I can do to make our rink keeper’s life easier tomorrow morning when he has to clean up the ice. Then I step over the boards and take off my skates, sitting on a bench to pull on my shoes.

It’s only then that I feel a weird sensation. A prickle on the back of my neck. I reach up to rub it, and then I turn my head to see that she’s there.

In that fucking dress. Her hair curling down around her shoulders instead of up in that bun she always wears. She’s standing in the center of the tunnel, her heels in her hands as though her feet hurt from wearing them, her legs bare and glistening in the harsh light radiating from the overhead strip.

“Hey.” I stand, confused because she’s supposed to be in a wine bar. Pleased because she’s not.

Scrap that. I’m fucking jubilant.

“Hey you,” she says. Then she starts to cry.