Cold Dark Heart by Julie Kriss

Thirty-One

Andie

There wassilence for a moment after Terry said that. I held my breath.

I was standing at the side of the house, in the shadows. When I had gone inside, I had gone straight to the back door and out to the back yard, then around the house. I had stayed quiet. I wanted to hear this, and no one was going to tell me no.

That Damon had even tried was painful. But I would think about that later.

Now I waited, wondering whether Damon would take Terry’s bait. Wondering what he would say.

“What are you talking about?” Damon’s voice was calm. “You didn’t want her. You made that clear.”

“Still, there’s a code,” Terry complained. “You, banging my ex? It’s weird.”

“It would have been different if you would have just told me what was going on,” Damon said. “I would have bought in. As it was, I had to spend the whole morning getting interrogated by the local Deputy Dawgs.”

Terry’s voice was amused. “You were a Fed for too long, Blake. I know you didn’t say anything.”

“Still, it wasn’t fun.”

“Just ride it out and we can make something work, okay? I have to change a few things around with the business. Be patient. The money is good, and the product is good, too. You can try it and you’ll see. It’s premium stuff, straight from Colombia. We don’t cut it with cheap shit. We keep it pure.”

“That, I’m interested in.”

My stomach twisted. What was he talking about? Heroin? He’d been so careful, so dedicated to being sober. Was he telling Terry the truth, or was he lying?

“I thought you might be,” Terry said. “Just keep your mouth shut and let me deal with this.”

“What about Andie?” Damon asked.

I felt my breath freeze in my throat.

“Cut her loose,” Terry said, as if I was someone he’d barely met instead of the mother of his son. “She’s not worth the trouble. What were you gonna do, settle down and have babies?”

My eyes got hot. Fuck you, Terry. Fuck you.

Then Damon’s voice came, calm and cold. “Of course I wasn’t going to settle down. I was just having some fun.”

It was like a stab to the gut. On some level, I knew that Damon was probably lying to get Terry to talk. I knew that Damon had been a different man with me than the one I was hearing now.

And on another level, that didn’t matter. After thirteen years with Terry, listening to him tell me that the idea of any man liking me was a joke—it hurt. It fucking hurt.

I couldn’t help it.

“Dump her,” Terry said. “There are a lot of women who are more fun than she is. Trust me.”

I heard Damon sigh. “Sure there are. Just get the fuck out of here. And for God’s sake, lie low.”

Terry snorted. “No one knows I’m here, man. Even my girlfriend thinks I’m on a golf trip for a couple of days. I’m at the Radisson at the Denver airport. As anonymous as it gets. Keep your mouth shut, asshole. I’ll be in touch.”

There were footsteps, the slam of a car door. A car—presumably Terry’s—drove away. Then I heard Damon blow out a breath.

“I take it you heard all that,” he said.

For a second, I didn’t want to move. I wanted to go back in the house, get my things, and get away. I wanted to run.

But screw that. I was here now, and apparently Damon had known I was listening all along. So was all of that bullshit for Terry’s benefit, or mine?

I made myself come out of the shadows and step onto the driveway. I looked at the man I’d come to trust, maybe even to love. The man I’d asked to come into my life and be in a relationship with me, for better or for worse. The man I’d grown to rely on.

The man I’d thought would never talk about me like he just had.

He was still, his gaze on me. Our eyes met, and I couldn’t read his expression. I couldn’t read it at all.

Damon reached into the pocket of his hoodie and took out his phone. He held it up, and when the screen lit up I saw an app that was recording audio. He must have activated it when he’d pulled out his phone, threatening to call 911. He turned it off now. “I got everything,” he said. “One thing that hasn’t changed about Terry is that he’s stupid as fuck.”

I still didn’t speak. I couldn’t. So he’d said all of those things to keep Terry talking, because he was recording him. That explained it.

But I kept hearing Damon say, Of course I wasn’t going to settle down. I was just having some fun.

Lies, maybe. Probably. But the words still cut. They weren’t just spoken today; they had been spoken to me year after year. By Terry. By my dad, even. You’re nothing special. You aren’t sexy. You aren’t important. You aren’t capable of running a business. Who would look twice at you?

“Did you buy any of that?” Damon asked. His voice was cold. “Did you believe it? Even for a second?”

I felt my shoulders slump. I didn’t know how to answer the question. I didn’t believe it, and yet I did. “Damon,” I said, my voice coming out soft.

“He wouldn’t have talked while you were standing there. That’s why I sent you inside. You know that, right?” Damon said. I didn’t reply. “Right?”

“I didn’t think you were telling the truth.” I forced the words out. “But it was hard to listen to.”

His expression changed, and for a second he looked hurt. Then he shut it down, and his eyes were colder than ever.

He took a step back, toward his car. “Right,” he said. “I’ll just go.”

Was I supposed to make him feel better? I had no energy for that. I had no energy for anything. I was confused, overwhelmed, and I felt like someone had put a fist in my gut. “Maybe that’s best right now,” I said.

Damon nodded. He pulled out his keys and opened the driver’s door of his car. “I’m gonna go bust your ex-husband for drug trafficking,” he told me, his voice businesslike. “I’ll talk you sometime, I guess.”

I watched him go, and I didn’t stop him.

And I wondered if he would keep driving, leaving all of this behind. Leaving this mess, my bar, and me. I wondered if Damon would just keep going, getting as far away as he could possibly go.