Liars and Liaisons by Sav R. Miller
23
Pressingmy palms into Nate’s sturdy chest, I shove him away with as much strength as I can muster. Yoga kicked my ass already today, but my ex is either not anticipating refusal or is in worse shape than me because he stumbles back, releasing me from his too-tight grip.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?”
The taste of his mouth—liquor and something sweet I can’t place—lingers on mine, and I swipe furiously with the back of my hand to try to erase it.
A single glance in the corner of the dining room proves that we’re alone. Grayson is no longer anywhere to be seen, though I suspect he hasn’t actually gone far. Likely down the hall to eavesdrop since the dimming of his eyes moments ago told me he was buying into whatever Nate was trying to sell.
I’m not sure why I said I was here for Nate. The words just spilled out of me, spurred on by Grayson’s obvious jealousy.
In the moment, I guess I wanted to prove that I wasn’t affected by what had happened between us the other night. Wanted him to believe I hadn’t spent every night since touching myself to the thought of his tongue sliding into me and how good it’d felt to come for him.
Embarrassingly good when my feelings were supposed to belong to someone else.
“What the fuck is your problem, Vi?” Genuine shock registers on Nate’s handsome, but hollow face. “You don’t want to kiss your boyfriend after not seeing him for months?”
The audacity almost makes me laugh. “Are you serious? Boyfriend? We are not together.”
“Says who?”
I can’t even believe I’m explaining this right now. “You! A couple of months ago, you freaked out when you learned who my brother was and dipped. I never heard from you again—no calls, no texts, no snail mail.”
He scoffs. As if this were all some childish misunderstanding. “Did I specifically say, Hey, Vi, let’s see other people?”
“It was implied.”
His dark eyes narrow, sliding past me to look around the room. Then, they swing back, angrier than I’ve ever seen them. “Have you been seeing other people, Violet?”
The contrast between how he says my name—slow, enunciating every syllable like he wants me to know he knows it—and how his brother says it, as if it’s a song he could sing for eternity, startles me. All this time, I thought I wanted exactly this. To be back in Nate’s good graces and for us to be an item again.
That’s the main reason I agreed to come here, other than the money. To somehow goad Nate into a jealous rage that would end with us running off into the sunset together.
But something doesn’t feel right about this. His vehement denial that he ended things or blatantly ignored my attempts to communicate. Even at Alistair’s fundraiser, an event he’d have normally been front and center at, he was nowhere, and I wound up fucking his brother instead.
Still, it feels silly to have worked so hard and come so far, only to give up now. Maybe our dynamics have just shifted. It has been a while after all. I can’t expect things to be exactly the same.
I’m not even sure I want them to be. Nice and polite was fine until I realized what else was out there.
Maybe this is exactly what I deserve.
Then, his hand lashes out, fisting the back of my hair between the French braids. Again, there’s something off here. It doesn’t feel the way it’s supposed to, like I could twist away if I really wanted. It’s like Nate wants to hurt me and now wants me to know it.
“Well?” he asks, leaning in so our mouths are almost touching. “Been slutting it up in my absence?”
“Jesus.” I push at him again, reaching around to try and pry his fingers off. “No, you lunatic. Get off me before I kick your dick in.”
“Ouch. Where’d my sweet little flower find a backbone?” He laughs. Tips his head back and gives a full-bellied guffaw, but doesn’t let go. “What’s the fucking problem? Aren’t you happy to see me?”
Alarm swims through my bloodstream, and I briefly consider the possibility that the mountain air has altered the man’s brain chemistry. Gone is the soft, funny guy who opened doors for me and called every night to make sure I’d gotten into bed safely.
The man standing before me is not the same one I spent the last few months lamenting over. When I sneak a peek at his reflection in the mirror, I realize I don’t really even recognize him at all; he’s got the same features as his brother, but they’re worn. Haggard almost, as if exposed to exhaustion for too long.
A distant part of me wonders what the hell happened during our time apart. Another doesn’t particularly want to know.
I don’t have time to recover from the whiplash of his emotions before he’s bending me backward, pressing me into the dining table, and shoving his lips onto mine.
* * *
Oddly,the nature of my presence at the secluded James estate hasn’t come back up. Maybe because Nate seems to believe that I came for him, or maybe because after he assaulted me in the dining room, he’s spent the majority of his time forcing me into his orbit and explaining why he’s here.
“Grayson’s a ticking time bomb,” he explains one day as he lounges on the patio furniture in one of the mansion’s loggias, wiping a pair of Ray-Bans on his red T-shirt. “My dad wanted me to come out here and keep an eye on things. You know how it is with family.”
I don’t say anything from my spot at the loggia’s edge, where I’m repotting some orange begonias. My gaze keeps flickering to the lake, everything that happened the night I killed that would-be assailant playing on a loop in my head.
It’s been over a week since then, and I haven’t slept much at all. Half of me is trying to stay prepared for another attack while the other half fears a much different onslaught entirely.
Especially since they never found that man’s body. Everything had been cleaned up, as if it’d never happened, and I can’t stop wondering if I imagined it all.
Though I definitely didn’t imagine his blood coating my skin or Grayson’s head between my thighs after. I didn’t imagine biting him and finding some sort of comfort in the blood flowing from him, like a small, warm, wet reminder that I was alive and so was he, and no matter what else had happened, that was a victory.
I didn’t imagine the dark brown water circling the shower drain.
Grayson hasn’t been seen by staff or otherwise since I made an absolute ass of myself in front of him. Nate doesn’t seem concerned at all, but I’m keenly aware of the fact that not a single note has echoed through the halls of the mansion. Even the ghosts seem to be kept at bay, waiting for their host to return.
The estate feels empty somehow even though it’s not. Everywhere I go, I feel eyes on me, but they’re nothing compared to the real thing.
“Dad has half a mind to write him out of the will and ship him off to some rehab facility in Montana, but his mother won’t agree. Plus, they need him to sign off on in-patient care when they can’t prove he’s a threat to himself or society.”
I pause. “Has he done something to make you think he’s either of those things?”
Nate chuckles, sliding his glasses on. “I don’t expect you to understand my brother, babe. You just got here, and he’s… very good at hiding the fact that he’s fucking insane. Runs in the family, I guess. You should’ve seen how my nephew acted a few years back when this random girl he met almost tanked his whole career, and now, he’s dating the bitch. Pathetic, if you ask me.”
Frowning, I glance at him over my shoulder. “What’s pathetic about falling in love?”
“Nothing, as long as you sign a prenup.” I give him a flat look, and he sits up in his chair, laughing. “Oh, come on, babe. It was a joke.”
“Jokes are supposed to be funny.”
Groaning, he gets out of his seat and walks over, kneeling on the ground beside me. With both hands, he starts shoveling soil into the blue plastic pot, messing up the levels and making me lose track of the bulbs.
“I don’t know why you’re bothering with this,” he says, patting the top of the dirt while I stare at it in silence. “Grayson’ll just destroy it whenever we leave.”
When I don’t answer, re-situating each bulb so it isn’t buried too deep, he sighs and runs his hands through his thick, dark locks.
“I’ve missed you, you know,” he tries. His hand cups my chin, forcing me to turn and look at him. “You’ve barely said three words to me this entire time. Don’t you… aren’t you curious what I’ve been doing all this time?”
“What have you been doing?”
“Working mostly. Moving finances, signing talent to an unofficial agency, working on cutting-edge proposals for James Entertainment. It’s only a matter of time before Dad makes me president of the company.”
My brows lift. “That’s a lot in only a few months.”
“Well”—he nudges me with a shoulder—“demise is a long game in the making. World domination takes time, babe. It doesn’t help that Grayson has been on my ass, suspicious about everything, doing whatever he can to make me miserable.”
“Sounds like him,” I say, immediately wishing I could swallow the words once they’ve passed my lips.
Puzzlement etches between his eyebrows. “What?”
I clear my throat. “From what you’ve told me about him, I mean.”
Silence ebbs between us. My heart scrapes against my ribs, and in the distance, a goat bleats so loud that I have to physically suppress a startled jump.
“Right.” Nate studies me for a beat too long, shaking his head after what feels like an eternity. “Well, in any case… I missed you a lot, Vi. New York could use a few million people like you.”
He doesn’t ask what I’ve been up to.
The insanity of the situation isn’t lost on me. I’m just not sure what to do with it now. My body buzzes, alight with alarm and anxiety, but I’m unsure of where the sensations are coming from.
It’s the sense of impending doom without any way to prepare.
Sighing, I sink into the hum in his voice. The sincerity. It shines bright in his eyes, and I let myself believe he means what he says.
On the surface at least. Something isn’t right, and I don’t want to play my hand too quickly here. Let Nate think things are fine, that I’m buying the bullshit he’s selling. At least it’s a distraction from my dad’s debt collectors, the masked man that haunts my dreams, and the half-mortal man I wish would stop visiting mine when he won’t come to me in person.
“I’ve missed you too,” I say finally, my voice wooden and not at all my own. I push the pot away and let him scoop me into his arms.
His hands go to my hips, squeezing too tight. “I’m digging the new look, by the way. Very fairy chic. Reminds me of someone I used to know.”
I glance down at the little dress. Micah gave me a trunk full of old clothes she’d found, everything thin and lacy, citing that my wardrobe didn’t match my personality. I only took them because I’d never turned down a gift and didn’t want to see the disappointment on her face if I said no.
They’re not horrible, although the dress looks more like a doily than anything else. It barely covers me, as if it was tailored for someone about five inches shorter, and you can see the pink hint of my nipples through the knitting since my bra is hanging out to dry.
It isn’t me, but maybe that’s what Nate likes. The carefree, sweet, innocent woman he met in Boston months ago.
She’s not so sweet and innocent anymore.
Shaking off the bad seed of a thought, I go into his lap when he tugs me, feeling oddly numb. When he kisses me again, I try to return the gesture because this is exactly what I wanted.
This is right. Nate is right.
So, why does it all feel like a lie?
Unease trickles down my back and up my arms, like a leaky faucet. Awareness bores into my skin, and I shove back from Nate with a grunt. He frowns, his face a mask of complete irritation.
A curtain in one of the windows shifts, like we’re being watched.
“What the hell is your problem?”
I shake my head, pushing off his lap. “Stop acting like nothing happened between us. I spent weeks hating myself for you leaving. Weeks wondering what I did, what I said, and what I could do to get you back, and you’re really going to just pretend like none of that even happened?”
He sighs, standing and reaching for me. “Violet, come on. You know what my world is like. I needed some space—”
“No.” I hold my hands up, barring him access to me. “You didn’t call or text. You just ghosted me, and you think that makes you entitled to a relationship still? I don’t think your brother is the insane one.”
“Then, why did you come here?”
“I—” My mouth slams shut, abruptly ending my sentence. “I don’t know.”
He takes a step forward, emotion fleeing his face. A hardened wall of stone slides into place, and I swallow, moving in the opposite direction. My back hits a column, and he moves in, trapping me against it, his hands shackling my wrists as he drives his pelvis into mine.
“Let me tell you what I think,” he mutters, his breath hot on the side of my face. “I think you saw an opportunity to get away from your shitty family to play house with me. Although we didn’t do much playing, did we?”
One of his hands goes to my thigh, sliding up beneath the hem of my dress. I shift, trying to dislodge him, but he just grips me tighter. I can feel the bruises forming beneath his touch.
“I think that I didn’t break up with you, but that didn’t matter when you found yourself a chance to shack up with my brother, did it?” I start to protest, but his other hand comes up, fitting over my mouth. “Oh, yes, you two must think I’m so goddamn stupid. I’ve seen you out there every morning, shoving your little ass in the air while you exercise. How long did it take you to fuck him, hmm? You wouldn’t go that far with me, wouldn’t even let me touch you, but I’m betting Grayson’s had his dick in you so many times that your pussy’s probably gaping by now.”
A distraught, muffled squeal comes from me when I feel his hand between my thighs. Disgust blazes around my insides, and I squirm against his hold, desperate to get away. One finger slips inside, and my soul breaks open.
“Well, look at that. Tight after all. He must not be fucking you very well.” The finger slips out before two more replace it. “I saw you the night I came to one of his parties. Lying in bed, probably thinking about him. I almost strangled you right there, but I wanted to see his face when I did it.”
Oh my God. That was him?
No wonder Grayson never mentioned it.
He tsks, removing himself from me so suddenly that it causes a wave of nausea to bubble up in my stomach.
“Should’ve known you were nothing but a money-hungry whore. My dad tried to warn me about you, about Sydney, but I didn’t want to listen.” Shaking his head, he pushes my head back, making it smack against the concrete column. “In any case, I’m not done playing here yet. With how mad he was when you showed up earlier, I think I’m gonna let him watch while I fuck you, strangle you, and then kill him so he gets over this weird revenge nonsense.”
Wiping his hands on his shirt, Nate moves away, keeping his gaze locked on mine. I have half a mind to bolt, but self-preservation tells me he’ll see that as a threat, so I stay put. My fingers tremble, aching to maim him, and I tuck them behind me. The concrete chips my nails.
A weird, sadistic little smile appears on his mouth. Like he can read my thoughts and finds them amusing. “Don’t even think about giving him a heads-up,” he says, pure malice dripping from each word. “Or maybe your father’s debt collectors will find their way to North Carolina and that cute little family of yours sooner than planned.”
