Founded on Goodbye by Kat Singleton
The night at the cabin flies by all too quickly. I could’ve stayed trapped in that bedroom with Nora for weeks, maybe forever, living off whatever we could find in the pantry. The feeling of her leg draped over me in the morning, her hair sprawled out around us, was a wakeup call I could get used to every day. The two of us watched the sun rise over the mountains from the large bed, our limbs tangled together. It was one of the most peaceful moments of my life. I didn’t feel pressure to be anyone but myself.
I was deliriously happy listening to Nora recall a high school spring break trip she took with Riley’s family to go skiing. Apparently, she fell face first when getting on the ski lift, too busy trying to flirt with the lift attendant to realize the chair was right behind her. Her cheeks were that perfect shade of rose as she recounted Riley’s tears freezing on her cheeks from laughing so hard.
We were lying in bed watching the sunrise when I realized I’d left my phone in the car the night before. Crawling out of bed, I kiss Nora on the cheek and head toward the door. I’m sure I have an abundance of missed messages from Monica and Tyson, and whoever else from the team who needs something, but if they really needed me, they knew they could reach Sebastian.
Speaking of Sebastian…my eyes go wide when I step out into the hallway and find both him and Riley tiptoeing in the opposite direction toward a room. Sebastian’s only got on a pair of boxer briefs, which is more than Riley. She has a big sheet draped around her shoulders, and it appears she doesn’t have anything on underneath.
“Nash, can you grab us some—” Nora stops in her tracks behind me, her eyes stuck on the two bodies on the other end of the hallway.
Nora’s words catch their attention. After a few awkward moments, it occurs to me that Sebastian looks more embarrassed than Riley.
Finally breaking the silence, Riley speaks. “Oh, don’t look surprised. Surely you saw it coming.” She tugs on the sheet, making it fly in the air like a cape. She struts back to one of the bedrooms, not bothering to look back at us.
Sebastian is still standing in the hallway, his mouth hanging open. He watches Riley disappear behind the door before looking toward me. “Yeah, I’m just going to,” he hooks a thumb over his shoulder, “see y’all later.” Putting a hand over his junk, he walks back to the bedroom, throwing one last anxious glance over his shoulder before closing the door.
“Well, that was…” Nora says behind me.
“Interesting,” I finish, shaking my head with a smile. Riley is right, I can’t say I’m exactly shocked the two of them hooked up; they were flirting all night last night. I think I’m more taken aback by how unapologetic Riley was about it. I can’t wait to get the details from Bash later. It appears he’s met his match in Riley, and it’s quite possible that she might eat him alive.
* * *
The rest of the morning went by quickly. We made breakfast together as a group, all of us piling around the table and shooting the shit. Eventually, the time came where we had to head out, those of us having to perform tonight needing to get to the stadium.
Now I’m sitting in hair and makeup, letting my hairstylist, Toni, fuss with my hair when my phone rings. Looking down, I find Taylor’s caller ID blinking on the screen. She’s been calling and texting for a while now. She’s probably trying to weasel her way back into my life so she can be in the spotlight once again; too bad for her I want none of it. I decline the call, wondering if I should just go ahead and block her.
“How’s this?” Toni asks, looking at me through the large mirror in front of us.
Looking up at my hair, I find the same tousled locks that have been my signature look for years now. The long curls on the top of my head fall in different directions. A look that is supposed to look messy, as if I didn’t try at all, but a look that Toni has expertly fussed with. I honestly feel like I can achieve the same look by myself, just messing with it a little straight out of the shower, but I don’t tell Toni that. She’s been with me since I went solo, and I enjoy the time in the chair with her before a show. It calms me, hearing stories about her kids; and hearing her gripe about her husband is something I’ve grown accustomed to over the years.
I fix a piece of hair that’s hanging directly over my eyes. “It looks great,” I tell her, knowing a few songs into the setlist it’ll take up a mind of its own.
Callie, my makeup artist, takes the spot Toni just vacated. Rubbing her hands together, she gives me a smile before lathering something on my cheeks. Twenty minutes later, I’m done with hair and makeup and have picked one of my options for wardrobe.
“Knock, knock,” Nora says in the doorway of my dressing room. She’s already dressed and ready for the show. Her hair falls down her shoulders in loose curls. I want to run my hands through it, mess it up a little before the show, but I know she won’t allow it.
“There you are,” I say, pulling her to my chest. As I breathe in her familiar scent, I relax. I haven’t had a real home in a long time, but without permission, she’s slowly becoming mine. My hand rests on the back of her head, holding her against my chest. Her breath hits my skin through my T-shirt, comforting me even more.
Nora is quiet against me, her heart hammering against my body. Her arms wrap tightly around my middle, her hands fisting the leather of my jacket. We stand like that until I finally pull away, my hands going to cup both her soft cheeks.
“What’s going on in that mind of yours, Rose?”
Her long eyelashes reach her brow bone when she looks up at me. The crimson red of her lips is making me have dirty thoughts, memories flooding my mind of when those same painted lips have been wrapped around me after a show.
“I’m just really, really happy,” she answers, a sad tone to her voice. She takes a deep sigh, loosening her grip around me.
“Then why does it sound like there’s a but coming?”
My mind travels back to last night when I told her I’d fallen for her. It wasn’t something I was expecting to blurt like that. I hadn’t really even put an official label on the feelings I was having for her in my own head. I just knew she was slowly becoming my favorite person. Every moment I saw her was easily becoming my favorite part of my day, and she’d become my home. I didn’t need to go lose myself in another woman or in a bottle, because when I was with her, I didn’t hate who I was. Better yet, I knew who I was.
Before I’d met her, I was slowly drowning in my fame. Each day had run into the others. I was surviving, and some days I was barely doing that. The media would have a field day if they knew the number of times my security team had found me faded at the bottom of a bottle. My “relaxingweekend retreats” were code word for rehab. I wasn’t in a good place. I hated myself but didn’t have any desire to change. Now, Nora has made me realize that I want to get my shit together. For her, for my fans, but most of all for me. I needed her to remind me of everything I’ve taken for granted recently, and she did just that.
I’ve thought this many times before and I’ll think it again a million more times I’m sure, but…
Nora made me fall in love with music again, and in the process, she made me fall in love with her, too. Falling for her was effortless. It was as easy as coming up with the lyrics she’s now inspired.
Getting lost in my thoughts for a moment, I forget that I even asked her a question until she answers it.
“There’s no but. I’m just excited for your hometown show tonight.” She rocks back and forth on her heels with a smile. I can tell something is bothering her by her demeanor.
“What were you going to say?” I push. My thumb flicks over her cheek, removing a fleck of glitter that had fallen from her eyelids.
She leans into my hand, kissing my palm gently. “We’ll talk about it after the show, okay?”
Taking a step back, I examine her, trying to find any clue as to what’s wrong. Unfortunately, I come up short. Part of me begins to worry that she’s freaked out about what I confessed last night—about falling for her. In hindsight, I shouldn’t have said anything. We haven’t been together a long amount of time, and I know that having a relationship with me comes with a whole lot of baggage, but the moment felt right. Up in the mountains with her, away from the expectations, and eyes, of society, I felt completely at peace. I was so at ease that my feelings fell from my lips before I could think about the repercussions.
“Talk to me, Rose. If this is about last night—”
She cuts me off instantly, standing on her toes to reach my face. “Last night was perfect, Nash. Totally perfect.”
Leaning in, she brushes her lips against mine. I’m sure I’m about to ruin her lipstick, but I can’t help it, I deepen the kiss, needing to feel the intimacy with her. Needing to reassure myself that I didn’t mess things up last night.
To my relief, she meets my tongue with hers. Biting down, I pull on her bottom lip, testing it between my teeth before letting go.
Three taps against the doorframe has us breaking apart. A crew member clad in all black stands in the doorway, a timid smile on their face. Waving awkwardly in the air, she looks down at her shoes and says, “They’re ready for you, Nash.”
“Better get to it, superstar.” Nora pushes on my shoulder, guiding me toward the door.
Planting my feet, I turn around, my hands coming to rest on her hips. “We’ll finish this after the show. Okay?”
Nora nods, giving me a fake smile.
I follow the crew member out, looking over my shoulder before we step into the hallway. “Hey, Rose?”
“Hm?” she says, standing in the middle of my dressing room. One arm stretches over her middle, her eyes looking at me questioningly.
“What I said last night…I meant it.”
I don’t wait to see her reaction. Instead, I catch up with the crew member, exchanging pleasantries with her as we make our way toward the stage.
I’m listening to her rattle on about her new cat, Mittens, when a familiar face stops me in my tracks. Standing right next to the entryway to below stage, I find my ex-girlfriend, Taylor.
Taylor’s smile is predatory. One of her bony shoulders leans against a speaker box. Stopping in front of her, I let my eyes rake over her. The fake blonde strands of her hair twist around her shoulders, the curls reminding me of snakes, matching her venomous personality perfectly.
“I don’t remember inviting you. Tell me, did you get tired of riding my best friend’s dick?”
Throwing her hair over her shoulder, Taylor steps closer to me. One of her long nails begins to drag across my chest. “Aww, baby, are you jealous?” she purrs, looking at me like she’s plotting something.
“Maybe if it was a few years ago. Now? Looking at you makes my skin itch. I mean really, Taylor, lay off the lip fillers.”
Her puffy lips part in frustration, a hurt look overtaking her face. The old Nash would’ve felt bad for the low blow, but the Nash that saw my best friend buried balls deep inside her doesn’t give a shit.
A hot pink nail runs over her lips. “They’re natural,” she spits out, regaining the feisty personality that attracted me to her in the first place.
I laugh, knowing damn well she’s paid a pretty penny to make her lips that huge.
“What are you doing here, Taylor?” I ask with a sigh. I know I’m supposed to be below the stage right now, getting mic’d up. They won’t start the montage or send the dancers out until I’m ready, but that doesn’t mean I won’t have multiple people pissed off at me if I don’t make it down there quick.
My question seems to perk her up. She goes from frowning to smiling once again. Biting her lip, she takes a step closer to me, causing me to take one large step back to keep my distance.
“I’ve been calling and texting you,” she states, her eyes roaming over me. “You look good, Nash.”
I ignore the second part of her answer, focusing instead on the first. “And I’ve been ignoring you. Funny how that works, isn’t it?”
“I have some information I think you’d want to know.” She shifts her weight on the pair of heels she’s wearing.
“Not interested,” I bark, moving to side-step around her. Her hand juts out, landing on my chest and pinning me to my spot. Looking down, I swat her hand away. “Don’t fucking touch me.”
“You’re going to want to know about this, baby. It involves your shiny new plaything.” She pauses. “Nora, is it?”
This comment catches my attention, although I play it off like it doesn’t. “There’s nothing you could tell me that’ll make me change my mind about her. Which is why you’re really here, isn’t it? You want me to pine after you forever. Been there, done that, now I’m fucking over it. Deal with it.”
Her lips widen in the most sinister smile. It catches me off guard, because clearly Taylor thinks she knows something that’ll change things. “Spit it out,” I finally say. “Tell me whatever the hell you think you know so we can get this show on the road.”
I’m actually shocked that we’ve made it this long without someone coming to find us. Taylor’s eyes light up like a damn kid in a candy store when she spots Nora heading toward the stage.
“Perfect!” Taylor yells clapping, getting Nora’s attention.
I can’t help but feel uneasy when I see Nora’s eyes widen in horror when she spots Taylor. She looks from me to Taylor, and back; her gaze glued on Taylor’s.
“Just the girl we were talking about,” Taylor taunts. “Nora, nice to meet you, hon.”
Hon. As if Nora and Taylor aren’t the exact same age.
“What’s going on?” Nora asks hesitantly.
The crowd outside begins to go wild. My guess is that they’ve dimmed the lights, preparing for my arrival on stage.
“I’m so happy you asked,” Taylor says, clapping her hands together. “I was just telling Nash here the real reason why you’re on this tour.”
The color drains from Nora’s face. “No,” she breathes, looking at me with a stricken look on her face. “Nash…” she begins, but Taylor begins to speak over her.
“Nora here, isn’t as sweet as the tabloids make her out to be. Turns out she isn’t just a dancer on your tour…”
“What the fuck are you talking about?” I ask, my head beginning to spin with questions.
“You were played, Nash. Your team wanted a better album out of you. Your writing has been shitty recently. The last album you wrote, the one about me, was phenomenal. Because you were broken. They wanted that again.”
“Your point?” I ask, cutting her off. My eyes find Nora, but she looks like she’s seen a ghost.
“My point being they wanted you to get hurt again. They asked me to do the job, but things got murky when they realized they couldn’t come up with a valid excuse for me to be on the tour with you. Insert Nora here.”
“Nash, I can explain.” Nora’s eyes are pleading when she looks at me, stepping in front of Taylor.
“Explain what?” I demand.
Taylor laughs sarcastically. “She needs to explain that she isn’t just a dancer on your tour. Your team found her, hired her to weasel her way in. The real reason she’s here is to break your heart, Nash. Your broken heart means better songs, which means more money for everyone in on it.”
The world around me starts to go blurry. All I can see is the devilish smile on Taylor’s face and the devastation on Nora’s. My chest suddenly feels heavy, and I can’t help but take a few steps back from Taylor’s words. Memories flood my head, every single one of them involving Nora.
It can’t be true.
Taylor is spewing bullshit.
I’m about to tell her to go fuck herself, but the look on Nora’s face makes me pause. She hasn’t denied anything. Surely, she should be denying it…right? This can’t be fucking real.
Fake.
It wasn’t fake.
Nora isn’t like that. She wouldn’t hurt me like that.
But why does she look guilty?
“Tell me it isn’t true, Rose.”
Shaking her head, she obliterates my recently mended heart.