Between Never and Forever by Brit Benson

5

I don’t seeSavannah all weekend, and she isn’t at school on Monday.

She doesn’t come over. She doesn’t text, not that I expect her to. She’s probably pissed at me, and I don’t know if I blame her. But this time feels different. I’m worried for her. I keep thinking of the boot print. The blood on her shirt. The fear.

Turns out, my mom heard me in the kitchen Friday night. Then one of the neighbors from across the street saw Sav leaving through my window early Saturday morning. The neighbor called my mother, and my mother flipped out.

I don’t know what led to her digging through the trash to find the shirt. I don’t know why she didn’t just come wake me up. All I know is she called Officer Denton first thing, and we had a “talk” as soon as I woke up.

I told him everything. How Sav’s mom’s boyfriend drinks or does drugs and then gets mean. How Sav’s always covered in bruises, and how sometimes she’ll go days without eating. Sometimes she sleeps at the park or at The Pit. Sometimes she’ll disappear for days before turning up at my window late at night.

My mother hated that last part more than anything else. Even more than when I talked about the horrible bruise on Savannah’s side from where her mom’s boyfriend kicked her, or how Savannah had to hit him with a liquor bottle to protect herself. All my mom cares about is that Savannah slept in my room, in my bed, and that it’s been happening for at least a year.

Talking to Officer Denton and my parents about everything made me feel slimy, like I was betraying Sav, even though I know it’s the right thing to do. Officer Denton said Savannah wouldn’t get in trouble for hitting her mom’s boyfriend, and he said he was going to get her someplace safe. I made him promise, and he gave me his word.

That was Saturday morning. It’s now Tuesday, and Sav is still missing at the bus stop.

I go through the whole first half of the day with my head down and slide silently into my usual place in the cafeteria at lunch. I eat half my sandwich while scowling at the untouched other half. Savannah’s half. I kick the table leg. What the heck is going on with her? My parents said she’d still be at school. Officer Denton promised she’d be back.

Unless...

Did Sav run away?

I get a sinking feeling in my stomach. She would do it. I know she would. Now that she’s been taken out of her house with her mom, I could definitely see her running away.

Crap. Did I mess up?

I thought I was helping. No, I was helping. I am helping. Savannah can’t stay in that house anymore, but she is so stubborn. She wouldn’t see that this is what’s best for her. If she ran away...

I stand abruptly, my sandwich dropping to the table as I step away from my chair and start walking quickly toward the office. I have to tell them that I think Sav is going to run. I have to tell the principal what I did or call my parents and get ahold of Officer Denton. Maybe she hasn’t gotten far, and they can still find her.

I’m twenty feet from the door when it swings open and Officer Denton steps out, then, before I can fully register what’s happening, Savannah follows behind him. My breath rushes from my lungs, and my shoulders sag with relief.

“Sav!” I move toward her but stop in my tracks when she hits me with a glare.

She’s mad. I knew she’d probably be mad, but she looks like she wants to kill me. I grit my teeth, ready to face off with her, and take another step, but she shakes her head.

“Stay away from me, Leviticus,” she says loudly, “unless you want me to break your nose the way I broke Connor’s.”

I jerk my head back, and my eyes go wide.

“Miss Shaw,” Officer Denton scolds, grabbing her by the upper arm. “You’ve been warned to be on your best behavior. Go to class.”

Savannah doesn’t even acknowledge him. She just narrows her eyes once more at me, then drags them away and stalks off down the hall.

“Get to class, Levi,” I hear Officer Denton say. He puts one of his big, meaty hands on my shoulder and gives me a pat. “Don’t you concern yourself with her.”

I nod absently, but I don’t speak. I can’t take my eyes off Savannah’s rapidly retreating back. I didn’t notice it at first because I was so excited to see her, but Sav’s hair has been cut. It used to be really long, touching just above her waist, and now it’s at her shoulders. It’s brushed and pulled back in some sort of shiny clip thing. Sav’s hair is never brushed. It’s always wild and tangled and falling into her face.

When my attention moves to her outfit, my jaw literally drops.

She’s wearing a dress.

Sav never wears dresses. She always wears ratty t-shirts and the same pair of ratty jeans. I turn to Officer Denton.

“Where did you put her? Where is she staying? Why is she dressed like that?”

My voice is thick with confusion, and when he looks down at me, his smile makes me want to grimace.

“She’s staying with Mr. and Mrs. Oglesby.”

My head jerks back. I know them from church. They’re older than my mom and dad but they don’t have kids. They’re not very friendly toward me, but they always make sure to talk to my parents after Sunday service.

I can’t see Savannah living with them. No way she likes it there. I mean, they put her in a dress and brushed her hair. She’s got to be miserable.

“Why them?”

“They’re going to be her foster parents,” he tells me absently, then pats my shoulder again. “This is only temporary. Go to class, and don’t concern yourself with Savannah Shaw.”

I nod and tell him thank you, then go back to my lunch table and gather my things. My brain is in a fog, and all I want to do is talk to Sav. All I want are some answers.

Why is it only temporary? Why did she have to cut her hair and wear a dress? Since when are the Oglesbys foster parents? They’ve never had a foster kid. And what about Sav’s mom? What about her mom’s boyfriend? What about how Sav bashed him over the head with the liquor bottle? Does this mean they aren’t pressing charges? Does this mean her mom doesn’t want her anymore?

I’m not sure what I thought would happen, but it sure wasn’t a haircut and a dress and the Oglesbys.

I throw my trash away and then walk quickly to my next class.

I have to talk to her. I need to make sure she’s okay.

* * *

Sav ignores me.

She won’t speak to me except to tell me to leave her alone or to threaten my life. I stopped trying to approach her after the first week because I didn’t want to get my nose broken, but I’ve been watching her.

She looks sadder than usual. She keeps wearing dresses, and putting her hair in shiny clips, and she doesn’t talk to anyone. She doesn’t ride the bus anymore, either. I saw Mr. Oglesby dropping her off one morning, even though their house is on our bus route. I wait another whole week for her to cool down, but when she still refuses to glance in my direction, I’ve had enough.

I’m in band practice when she’s in gym, and through the window, I can see her outside running the track with her class. That’s what does me in, the sight of Savannah actually dressed and participating in gym. Hair clips and dresses and now gym?

It’s all just too weird.

I shoot my hand up.

“Mr. Parker, can I go to the bathroom, please?”

He gives me a nod from his place behind the piano. “Take the pass.”

I stand, drop my trumpet on my chair, and book it out of the room, down the hall, and out the double doors that lead to the track.

The moment I see her, I run to meet her and keep pace at her side.

“Go away, Levi,” she pants without looking at me.

“No,” I say back, my voice less wobbly than hers because I haven’t been running for most of the class period. “I want to know why you’re ignoring me, Savannah. This is stupid.”

She doesn’t answer.

“Savannah.”

Still nothing.

So, I make a dumb decision. I grab her by the forearm and jerk her to a stop. We both stumble back a bit from the force of it, and then she whirls on me, shoving my chest hard enough that I topple back on my butt.

“I don’t want to talk to you,” she seethes, and I pop back up on my feet quickly.

“Why the heck not? You said we were friends—”

“Friends don’t tattle, Leviti—”

“I didn’t tattle,” I shout. “You were going to die! I did what I had to do to keep you safe.”

“Oh, that’s great.” She laughs, but it’s mean. “Yeah, because Barbara and Ted are so much better.”

“Bet they don’t get drunk and kick you in the stomach,” I spit out.

She shakes her head, then forces her voice to a low, angry whisper.

“You know I gotta ask permission to use the bathroom? They keep it locked up, and when they let me go, one of ‘em stands right by the door. I’m not even allowed to shut it, you know that? Same with when I shower. No privacy at all.”

The news shocks me, but before I can say anything, she steps closer and gives my shoulder a shove.

“Same with food and drinks. Everything is under lock and key at that damn place. Like they think I’m gonna steal it or something. They trashed all my things—all of ‘em, everything—and only let me wear these damned ugly dresses. They practically tied me up so they could cut my damn hair. And they lock me in my bedroom from 7:30 p.m. to 6 a.m.”

She shoves me again, harder this time.

“I’m fuckin’ locked in there. I can’t come out for anything. Not for anything, Levi. Not even to pee.”

Her eyes are wild as they scan my face, her teeth are gritted tight. I don’t understand. Why would Mr. and Mrs. Oglesby have such weird, strict rules? They watch her go to the bathroom? They watch her shower...?

No way.

No.

But it has to be better than before. Right?

“But you’re not in danger anymore,” I force out. “No one’s beating on you or anything. I got you out. You’re safer now.”

“Levi,” she says, closing her eyes tight, “I just traded one hell for another. That’s it. It’s just another hell, but now I don’t know my way around this one. I’m blind, ya know? You didn’t save me, you blinded me.”

“I’ll tell my dad.” She shoves me again.

“No! God, Levi, just freakin’ stop. I’m not even supposed to be talkin’ to you anyways. Just stay out of my life right now, okay?”

“What do you mean you’re not supposed to be talking to me?”

She drags her palm down her face and sighs.

“Your wonderful, Jesus-lovin’ momma said that if I don’t leave you alone, she’ll have Denton arrest me for assaultin’ Terry. Said I could be charged with attempted murder or assault with a weapon or some bullshit.”

My jaw drops.

“She wouldn’t do that.” I say it even though I know it’s not true. My mom would do it. I’m not surprised at all.

“It’s whatever,” Savannah says with a roll of her eyes. “I got a plan, anyways.”

My skin prickles with unease, and I cock my head to the side.

“What’s your plan?”

She snorts and gives me a side-eyed glance.

“Like I’d tell you. You’d just go an’ tattle on me again like a little weenie.”

“I wouldn’t.”

“You would,” she stresses, then starts running again, so I run beside her. “Go back to band, Levi.”

She’s going to run away. I know she is. Fear rackets inside my chest.

“The Oglesbys aren’t that bad, right?” I try again. “It’s better than any alternative. I could start bringing extra food to school for you, if you want. You can keep it in your room.”

“They are that bad. And it’s not just all that, either. It’s the way Ted looks at me. It’s creepy. I don’t like it at all.”

I glance at her to find her lip curled and her eyebrows scrunched.

“Don’t run away, Sav.”

I just come right out and say it. I don’t even try to hide the plea in my voice. I brace myself for a shove, or a fist to the shoulder, but instead, Sav just sighs.

“Go back to band, Leviticus.”

Then she takes off on a sprint, and I stop running. I watch her run the track until it curves around the opposite end, and then I turn and walk back to band class. Sav’s going to do what she wants. She always does. There’s nothing I can do about it.