Paid to the Pirate by Una Rohr

Chapter 32

Charlotte

What would become of me now? Could I convince Daniel to want me?

I did not need to ask the question, did I want him? The answer was no. I didn’t want anyone but Colt. Not this Colt, the one who cruelly tore my heart from chest. I laughed, mirthlessly. I wanted the Colt who cruelly tore my innocence from my body. Who tore screams of pleasure and pain from my lips.

Perhaps Daniel was right and I was no better than a whore. Maybe it was my nature. I knew nothing of my previous desires. Maybe the strumpet lurked within and I’d only needed Colt’s hands to coax her forth.

Because I was a wretched thing. And my wretchedness wasn’t from my wanton nights with Colt.

It was from his rejection.

Now, nothing was left for me on The Dread Night. Yet I couldn’t face Mrs. Penningham with what I’d become, leaving me nowhere to go. Maybe Daniel would still want me if I hadn’t disgusted him enough on our last meeting. I could beg and plead; tell him I’d been deceived.

No. My heart sank. Daniel was a good man, despite what he’d said to me. Those words came from the pain of betrayal. I had betrayed him, our plans.

What became of a woman who couldn’t marry and couldn’t find work in her settlement?

I knew the sound of those boots upon the floorboards before I even saw his face, and my heart beat in time to each thump.

“Are you going to behave?” Colt asked, rounding the corner and coming into view.

Head bent, I nodded.

“Good. Then you can come out. But raise one hand to me and you’ll spend the rest of the journey in here, is that clear?”

I nodded again.

Colt unlocked my cell and stepped back. He turned abruptly on his heel and walked out of the small chambers.

Shuffling my feet, I exited the unlocked cell slowly. Part of me wanted to stay because I was afraid that, now free, I couldn’t restrain myself from jumping overboard and letting the sea take me. I wandered the ship like a ghost, trying to hide from everyone. I didn’t want my face to betray my shame, my pain. It might have been five minutes or five hours later when I stood upon the quarterdeck, nearing the rail as I stared despairingly at the sea.

My stomach had just grazed the wooden rail when I felt a painful grip on my bicep and whipped my head up to see Colt, eyes narrowed. He shook his head ever so slightly. His eyes glowed with… concern? That couldn’t be. But the message in that dark gaze was clear. Don’t you dare do anything stupid.

Did you think I would jump? Why do you care? I wanted to cry, and my face must have asked the question.

“If I return without you, Mr. Clayton will be disinclined to pay the tribute I’ve decided we’re going to demand, and we’ll start a battle that could have easily been avoided.”

Tears welled and a half-mad laugh tore from my throat. You’re returning an empty husk, I thought. My heart and spirit have been ripped from this shell. But what care men about such things, as long as I appear whole on the outside?

Colt’s eyes narrowed further and he yanked me from the railing. Mistaking my despair for defiance and believing it gave strength to my empty-husk body, he pulled too hard and I stumbled. Forced to catch me or let me fall, instinct took over and Colt’s strong arms found my waist. Pain ripped through my heart as I desperately longed to remain in his embrace.

Looking up at his cold expression with pathetic, pleading eyes, a lump formed in my throat.

“If you return me, you condemn me. If Daniel tells the town about my betrayal, I’ll be shunned.”

“Mrs. Penningham will never let that happen,” Colt said.

“She might not have a choice, should everyone shun the tavern.”

Colt shook his head. “I’ll be returning you with enough coin for her pocket to make any concerns disappear.”

“You’re bribing her to shelter me,” I said, flatly.

“Call it what you like.” Colt shrugged and strode off, boots stomping across the wooden deck.

Why do you care? I screamed the question in my head as I watched his retreating back.

I made it safely to the isolation of the galley and let my tears fall again.

#

Hours later we reached my settlement and I’d never seen such a hateful sight. The stocky, ugly little buildings. The dusty paths. And aside from a select few, such as the Penninghams, the small-minded people. It had all changed in the past two days to become a threat.

I didn’t belong there. I belonged with Colt. My head fit perfectly into the small dip of his chest, just below his shoulders. His cock fit perfectly into the secret places beneath my skirts. My heart fit perfectly into the safe cocoon of his.

Or it had, until this.

The sky, heavy with storm clouds, mirrored my heart. I wished the winds had died down and left us floating in the doldrums, rather than carry me back. But all too soon we’d arrived. I’d run out of ideas. And time. Colt was going to deposit me ashore like cargo, sail away, and never return.

From behind me, I heard arguing, low at first, but increasing in volume.

“…can’t let her go without the information,” Robert shouted.

“She doesn’t have it!” Colt shouted.

More voices joined in -- arguing, asking questions, or offering grunts of agreement or denial.

Resolved, I joined them, only to be roughly grabbed by Colt and shoved in the direction of the jolly boat.

“Time to go, Charlotte,” he ordered, coldly.

“No,” I insisted, chin raised. “I won’t leave. Not until you tell me why.”

“She ain’t leavin’ ’till she talks,” Robert yelled. His declaration stirred two of the men near him. The hair on my neck stood upright at the same time shame rose at Colt’s harsh dismissal of me. But panicked desperation overrode my pride.

“Stop this, please,” I begged, grabbing the neck of Colt’s waistcoat and speaking in a low, urgent voice. “I’m not taking one step; I won’t leave this ship until you talk to me. Not as this. This monster without conscience. I want my Colt back, my captain. The one who held me in his arms all night. Please, talk to me.”

“Conks, take her back,” Colt ordered. “Drag her if you have to.”

Conks didn’t move, other than to stroke his gray whiskers.

“Dammit!” Colt roared. “This is my ship! You’ll obey my orders!”

Conks stared defiantly at his captain.

“We’re not releasing her anywhere,” Robert cried. “Lash her, lash her! She killed Maurice! She knows where the Crimson Eye is!”

Three or four men gathered to back Robert, and for the first time since Colt betrayed me, I felt an emotion other than despair.

Fear.

“Thief!” Robert shouted. “Murderer.”

From seemingly nowhere, a whip appeared, and I thought I might faint.

“We’ll lash her ’till she talks,” Robert decreed.

A fight erupted so suddenly it was hard to tell what was happening amidst the fast-moving chaos. I was shoved, separated from Colt’s arms, while two of the men who’d been backing Robert moved to block Colt from reaching me. They weren’t forcibly attacking the captain, but they were arguing passionately. Almost at the same time, Robert lunged, attempting to grab me, but I leapt out of his reach. There was nowhere else to go on a deck full of men, so I scrambled aboard the ship’s rail. Robert reached for me again and I shuffled left, holding onto the rigging with one hand.

The boom of a pistol rang out as Colt fired a shot, hitting Robert square in the chest.

Everyone fell quiet in shocked silence. Using his last few breaths, Robert made a final attempt to grab me, but his attack knocked me off balance.

With a scream, I fell overboard.

Into the murky sea.

Into the shadowed past.