Savage Prince by Alison Aimes

34

Maxheim barreled into the weapons storage room where his brothers were gathering firepower for the upcoming battle.

“Hells.” He slammed his fist against the wall. Once. Twice. Cracks snaked along the surface.

“Isn’t he the one usually telling us not to do that?” observed Damien.

Maxheim did it again.

Jagged pieces of reinforced ice and crystal tumbled to the floor.

“Tess?” Nikolai didn’t miss a beat. He strapped a massive laser to his back.

“I’m losing her.” Maxheim crashed his fist into the wall once more.

The look on her face as he’d left . . .

He let his fist crash forward again. Slam. He finally got why his brothers found this so satisfying. The pain was comforting, though it still didn’t match the one in his chest.

“All I’m trying to do is keep her with me. Keep her safe, and I’m losing her just the same.”

“It’s going to be okay.” Alexi stepped in front of him, back to the wall, and caught his fist before the next blow struck.

“No. It’s not.” Maxheim shook off his brother’s hold. Turned away. “I . . . I went to touch her and . . . and I hurt her.”

All his brothers stilled.

“What did you say?” Alexi sounded more dangerous than Maxheim had ever heard. He’d never respected his brother more.

“Not like that,” he explained. “Not on purpose. I’d cut off my own hand before I’d ever raise it against my omega.” He paused, a shuddered breath rushing from him. “But when I touched her, her gift fired up—and not like it usually does for me.”

The memory sickened him. He staggered to a crate of weapons and sunk his sorry ass on top. “It fired up like it does for every other fucking Alpha out there. As if . . . as if I was just like them to her now.”

His hands clenched on his thighs. “Always before, my touch brought us both so much pleasure. But this . . .” He was fucking gutted. “This was different.”

Bile burned at the back of his throat. “I’m supposed to keep her safe. Make her happy. Fix her problems. Not bring her pain.”

“You know you’re not like those other Alphas to her,” insisted Alexi. “Anyone with eyes can see how she feels about you.”

“She has to know you’re only trying to safeguard her.” Damien offered his support as well.

“You fucked up.” Nikolai was equally matter of fact. He took another weapon from the stack and strapped it to his body.

They all stared at him.

“Wow. That’s cold.” Outraged, Damien and Alexi both spoke up at once.

“No,” Maxheim waved them off. “He’s right. I fucked up.” He swallowed hard. “Just like I did before. It’s my fault.”

Nikolai studied him. “What do you think is your fault?”

“What about this whole mess isn’t?” The words he’d kept in so long rushed to the fore. He was just so damn tired of the control, of breathing and keeping it all in.

All he’d done was fuck things up. With Tess. With all he’d built. “I failed us all fifteen years ago when I left the twins with our mother because I was a selfish prick, and I wanted a break. I failed them now because I couldn’t let Tess go, and now I’ve lost her anyway.”

Silence blanketed the room.

But he was too far gone now to stop. “I always fix everything . . . but I don’t know how to fix this.”

“Maybe you don’t have to.” Nikolai sat next to him on the crate, the barrel of one of his lasers smacking Maxheim in the ribs.

“What’s the other option? Death?”

“What happened to the twins isn’t your fault any more than it’s the rest of ours.” Nikolai slammed his fist to his chest.

“I’m the one who complained when you told me to take them. I’m the one who suggested you leave them with Naytalia just that once.”

“And I’m the one who did it.”

“While we didn’t do a thing to help,” added Alexi.

“You guys all did the best you could.” Damien swallowed hard. “None of us would be alive without you.”

Nikolai sighed. “You’ve always taken on too much, Maxheim. Maybe we’ve let you because you’re so damned good at everything, but it’s not on you alone to fix everything.” He paused. “Or safeguard all of us, including your omega, from any risk. Life doesn’t work like that. You can’t have the pain without the pleasure—and if you try, you’re denying the two of you the full bond.”

“Hells.” Could that be why he and Tess hadn’t bonded fully? “Maybe you’re right, but even now, I just want to keep her from the pain, and the risk. I just want to keep her locked in that room, even though I know it will ruin us.”

“Because you think it will keep you safe as well.” This time it was Alexi who spoke. “I get it. Bad shit affects each of us differently. You lost the twins. They were more yours than any of the rest of us. It fucked you up. Then you lost Raquel, and maybe you didn’t feel the same about her as you do the rest of us, or Tess, but it was still another loss. You don’t want to feel that way again.”

Maxheim stood up straighter. Hells, Alexi was right. He’d always thought of himself as the smart one but it turned out he didn’t know shit.

“It hurts to even think about losing the ones we love,” added Nikolai. “And we’ve lost way too many already.”

Maxheim cursed again. All this time he’d been saying he was keeping Tess close for her sake. It might have also been just as much for him. “I’ve been a damned coward.” He shot up from the crate. “I really did fuck up.”

Damien looked confused. “I don’t get it. Does this mean you should have agreed to let her go?”

“Hells, no.” Maxheim and his two other brothers roared at once.

“Sheesh.” Damien raised his palms. “Ever heard of volume control?”

“I’m not letting her go. I’m never letting her go.”

Damien scowled. “Then what the fuck was all that touchy-feely bullshit?”

“A reality check.” Maxheim blew out a breath.

“Oh, I get it.” Damien nodded.

Maxheim exchanged a doubtful look with his other brothers. “You do?”

“Sure. To spare her more burdens, Maxheim allowed her to shoulder none. He accidentally made it seem like her worth to him was less than it was. He denied her the chance to help him, protect him, show him there might be other ways she might support him, and in the process, he made her think that the only way to be of real use to him was to sacrifice herself for him.”

They all stared at him.

“What?” Damien’s fangs flashed. “Just because I’m the youngest and the best looking, doesn’t mean I don’t have a brain.”

Maxheim actually managed a half-smile. “And just because I’ve been an idiot, doesn’t mean I can’t change.”

He’d told her their interests were aligned, and then he’d put his fears and his needs first.

Time for a new plan.

Good thing he was the fixer.

“We’ll deal with getting ready for the Council fight.” Nikolai waved him off. “You go make up with your omega. Then, we’ll figure out a new plan. If we’re going down, we’re going down together.”

No more waiting to fix himself. He was settling things with his omega first and foremost.

Spinning around, he charged down the corridor.

He offered up cursory nods to the guards at the door to his sleeping quarters before he flung it wide. “Tess . . .”

He stopped short.

The room was empty.