Tortured Sinner by Tessa James

Claire - 27

Johnny is fucking adorable.

I mean, he started off in my mind as a total asshole, and now, he’s leaving sweet kisses all over my head and giving me a key to his place.

It’s probably way too quick and totally irrational, but I guess when things are right, there’s no need to deny it.

In the short time that we’ve known each other, there has been an undeniable pull between us, and given everything that’s happened, the little and big things, we’ve bonded.

I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t freaking out, but deep down, I don’t think it has anything to do with him.

What happened last night with Griffin, it was intense.

And I’m a little scared of how I’m reacting.

There is this mix of emotions—fear and shame and guilt, but also anger and rage. This part of me that is so pissed off at Griffin that I don’t have any sympathy in me for his current condition.

He’s lying in a hospital bed and there is no compassion left in me to feel sorry for him.

Doesn’t that make me some kind of monster?

Griffin is twisted in the head. But does he actually deserve what happened to him? Does anyone?

Johnny is right to worry about me, because I’m worried about myself.

And right now, I’m clinging to the calming comfort he provides when he’s nearby. I’m afraid that if he disappears for too long, I’ll lose it all. I just need a little time to regain my composure and then I’ll be back to the old Claire.

“I come bearing gifts.” Johnny enters his front door and comes over to the couch where I’m sitting. “Aw, you look cute as hell.”

He’s referring to the gray sweatpants I borrowed from him.

“I hope it’s okay, I got cold.” I take the cup of coffee he hands me and breathe in the heavenly scent.

Bram really does have the best brew around. It’s strong, but not too bitter.

“Of course.” Johnny kisses my cheek. “Whatever you need.” He plops down next to me and opens up the bag. “A famous Bram’s breakfast sammy. And donuts, obviously.”

“Famous? According to who?” I laugh but take it anyway.

“Me, duh.” He feigns offense. “And Bram.”

“Bram doesn’t count.”

“But I do?” Johnny winks at me and bites off a chunk of his sandwich.

Something about it just melts my fucking heart and has me feeling like I’m floating.

“Hey, I was thinking...” I hand him a napkin and set one on my own lap.

"Uh-oh." He wipes his mouth. "Breaking up with me already? Damn, that was short-lived."

I roll my eyes at him. “Shut up.” Plus, you can’t break up with someone you aren’t officially dating. Right?

“So, it’s not bad news? Carry on.”

I test my coffee to see if it’s going to burn my mouth off or not. “No, neither good nor bad. But I thought maybe we could focus on this situation of yours. The one you’ve been stressing out about. We’re nearly caught up with our assignments, and it sure would be a great distraction from…well…you know.”

“Is it that obvious?”

"Yeah. I get the feeling that you're not telling me something, that maybe it's time-sensitive?"

“You really should be a detective, Claire. What’s your major?”

I laugh. “English. You?”

He avoids my eyes and grabs his cup. “Um.”

I turn toward him. “I’m not familiar with that one.”

“I’m still undecided.” He seems embarrassed by this. “I’ve been a little preoccupied, and I pretty much failed my first year anyway. My second isn’t looking that great either.”

“What do you want to do?” I stare at him and try to predict what his interests might be. Is bad boy a major? Because he seems to have everyone fooled on that one?

Except me.

“It’s not really important.”

“It is to me.” This conversation is totally going off the rails here, but I’m dying to know more about him and the person he is outside of the nightmare world he created for himself.

“Photography.” He side-eyes me and then focuses ahead.

“I can totally picture that.”

He laughs. “A pun? Seriously?”

I giggle too but grab his arm. “I’m sorry, it sort of slipped out. I think it’s perfect.”

“Sure.” He exaggerates the word.

“Let’s put a pin in that one and get back on track. You said I was on to something, right?”

“Yeah.” Johnny chews and swallows the last of his breakfast. “I have less than a week to find the package.”

“Shit.” Do I even want to ask what the consequences would be if he doesn’t locate it?

“And I’ve pretty much come up with no solid leads.”

“What do you know?” Or more like, what is he willing to tell me. I bite into my sandwich while he gathers his bearings.

He sighs. “Not much. A reliable source, that guy you saw me meet at the bar that night, he told me it’s probably an inside job. I’m not exactly on good terms with the guy running this operation, and he’s been trying to get me out since I started.”

“And to confirm, that would be a bad thing?”

“Everything I’ve done would have been for nothing, so yeah, not a good alternative.” He runs his hand through his thick brown hair. “There’s this kid…Billy—you’ve met him.”

My stomach clenches, the pieces of the puzzle all falling into place.

“His uncle, the guy he lives with, he’s mixed up with some shady people. Children are so easy to manipulate and use, because I mean, who’s going to suspect some ten-year-old to be doing this kind of shit? He was abusing him, using violence to force him to start making deliveries. I followed him one day to this slimy part of town, and it all sort of happened so fast, I didn’t stop to think it through, I just knew that I had to do anything I could to get him out of that situation. I, uh, I pictured it was me, you know? This innocent kid who needed help. I couldn’t just sit back and do nothing.

"Anyway, I made this big scene, and the guy in charge, his wife was there, so he agreed to let me take Billy's place, but I knew he didn't want to; he only did it because she wanted him to. Now he has it out for me. He can't get rid of me easily, cause then she'd be upset with him, so he's trying to find some loophole where I fuck up and it makes sense to cut me loose. Then he gets what he wanted all along." He pauses and turns toward me. "Billy."

I let the shock of his confession settle through me. I had imagined that Johnny was doing this for some altruistic reason, but I never thought it would be this. His actions are noble and entirely self-sacrificing, and I refuse to let him do this on his own.

My mind wanders to Billy, the sweet boy I’ve had the privilege of talking to on a few occasions. The sun-kissed kid with bright eyes and a love for books. I recall the times I’ve seen Johnny sitting with him, the instance when Billy thanked Johnny and told him he was the best. I had overlooked it then, at how Johnny might be impacting this kid, but now, everything comes into focus. The grumpy man I assumed was Billy’s dad is actually an abusive and manipulative uncle.

“Say something.” Johnny meets my gaze.

“I’m processing.”

“I’ve never told anyone any of this.”

“Not even Bram?”

He shakes his head. “No.”

I reach forward and take his hand in mine. What a terrible thing to have to go through by yourself. “We’re going to figure this out…together.”

Something in his features shift, a sadness replaced with something resembling hope. Like maybe he’s finally realizing he doesn’t have to handle everything on his own.

He lets out a breath. “Yeah?”

“You’re stuck with me, remember?”

Johnny pulls me over and hugs me super tight, kissing all over my face. “I don’t know what I did to get so lucky.”

I can’t help but wonder the same damn thing.

Sure, he’s got some baggage, but don’t we all? He might seem like a bad guy who doesn’t care about anything on the surface, but he’s actually got the biggest heart of anyone I’ve ever met.

Bram really was right after all.

“Okay, where’s that list?” If we’re going to figure this out, we need to get to work. As much as I’d love to be loved on, we have to prioritize to pull this off.

Johnny shoves his hand into the pocket of his jeans and pulls out the crumpled-up paper. He unfolds it and offers it to me.

I take it and skim it over. First names only, and some weird descriptors.

I point to the last one. “This foot guy, his name doesn’t happen to be Jared, does it?”

Johnny nods his head. “Yeah, I think that’s it. Do you know him?”

“If it’s the same dude, he’s in my math class. I made the mistake of sitting near him on the first day and now I’m sort of stuck in his stinky corner of the room.” I scan the list again. “And this guy, Steve, sits near him.”

“See, detective. You’ve already made more progress than me.”

“What do you remember about that night?” Other than almost dying in an alley and passing out in your bathtub.

“Um…” He seems to get lost in his memory. “Besides you saving my ass?”

“Try to recall anything. No detail too small. Go back to the beginning if you have to, before it happened.”

“Franklin was pissed, because I had been like thirty seconds late making a delivery. He had me go out on another run, but basically demanded I get it done immediately. Gave me almost an impossible time limit.” He leans forward and rests his elbows on his knees while he goes through the chain of events. “Usually, I go home, change clothes and make a game plan, then head out. It’s how I’ve managed to make it this far, but that night, Franklin left me no time for that. It was like he knew the quickest path and was certain I’d go that way. I walked into that alley and they came out of nowhere. They were expecting me.”

I don’t mean to, but I cut him off. “They? There was more than one of them?”

"Two guys. Bigger than me." He strains to consider something. "They had on ski masks. I couldn't see either of their faces."

“Did they say anything? Would you be able to recognize their voices?”

Johnny bobs his head back and forth. “No, not a word.”

“Okay, anything else?”

“They knocked me to the ground pretty quick. And they kept hitting me. I could barely keep my eyes open, they swelled up almost immediately.” Johnny’s gaze steadies. “But there was this flash of white.” He holds his palm to his rib. “His shoe.” He turns to me with wild eyes. “What’s that brand with the black stripes?”

“Adidas?”

“Yes! He was wearing those.”

“This is good, this is really good.” It’s not much but in a matter of minutes, we’ve gotten closer to solving this mystery than Johnny has in the last week by himself. “And you’re sure it’s someone from this list?”

“No. It could be anyone, really. Franklin has hired hands all over. But Josey mentioned it was a new recruit, a younger guy. Cocky. I guess he was bragging about what happened.”

I fight to keep my composure. There’s something about someone being arrogant about hurting Johnny that sends sparks of fire shooting through me. I’ve never felt so…protective of a person before. Now that I know the truth about Johnny’s situation and his motives, it only makes me want to crush anyone who mistreats him.

Kind of humorous considering what happened last night. That old Claire though, she died on those steps and was reborn the moment Johnny ripped Griffin away from me and shoved him down the stairs.

What Johnny said earlier about how he imagined himself in Billy’s situation, and how he would have hoped someone stepped in for him? Well, he did exactly that for me, and I won’t waste this gift of a fresh beginning.

From now on, I will not cower. I will fight.

“I have an idea.” I grab my phone and swipe over to the text screen.

Cora: Let me know about tonight.

I haven’t told her about what happened yesterday, and I plan on keeping it that way. I don’t need her to pity me any more than she already does.

Me: What are the details?

Johnny turns his attention to me. “What is it?”

Cora: House party, I’ll send you the address when I get done at the gym. You coming?!

Me: Maybe!

Cora: Good! Bring that sexy man of yours.

Johnny clears his throat. “Uh.”

“She’s referring to you, don’t worry.” I shove him teasingly.

“Hey now, guys can be insecure, too. But wait, your brilliant idea is a party?”

"Not just any. I overheard Stinky Feet talking to Steve about some big get-together they're having. And I'm pretty sure this guy Cora was talking to is friends with them, meaning…chances are, it's the same one. AKA, it's where they live."

Johnny sort of blankly stares at me like it hasn’t fully clicked into place.

“The shoe, J. We can check their rooms to see if it’s there. If it is, bingo, we’ve located the suspect.”

“You…are fucking brilliant.” He grabs me by the face and presses his lips firmly to mine.

A million butterflies float all around me, and I become completely immersed in his touch.