Something Unexpected by Vi Keeland
CHAPTER 23
Beck
FIVE DAYS LATER, I’d watched the same Bryce Canyon video on Nora’s blog for the fourth time and checked my phone for the tenth time today.
Still no response from her. We’d texted every day since she left, but she’d gone radio silent yesterday morning. At first my messages showed as delivered, although not read, but now they weren’t even showing as delivered anymore. Maybe her phone broke. I figured I was due to check in with Gram directly anyway, so after I tucked Maddie into bed, I poured myself a glass of whiskey and settled into the couch.
Gram answered on the third ring.
“Hey. How’s my favorite girl?”
“Oh, just busy, busy, busy.” I couldn’t put my finger on it, but something in her voice sounded off.
“Busy, huh? What have you been up to the last two days?”
“Just a little bit of this and a little bit of that.”
My grandmother was not shy. She also didn’t talk on the phone for more than five seconds without sarcasm or a zinger being tossed across the line. “You feeling okay?”
“Oh yeah. Great. Never better.”
Silence again.
“How about Nora? All okay with her? I sent her a few messages, but she hasn’t responded.”
“She’s just…feeling a little under the weather.”
I sprang upright. “She’s sick?”
“Probably just too much wine last night.”
My shoulders slumped. Great. Now I’m picturing her at the bar waiting for some Tinder douche.
Gram went quiet again. Though this time, it allowed me to pick up the background noise on her end. It sounded like some sort of an announcement, like maybe at the airport.
“Where are you?”
“Just in my hotel room.”
“In your room? What was that announcement?”
“Oh, it must be the television.”
Why did I feel like she was full of shit?
“I gotta get going, honey,” Gram said.
“What’s the rush if you’re just sitting around in your room?”
“I need my beauty sleep.”
I couldn’t shake the feeling something was going on. But I knew my grandmother. If I pushed, she’d hang up on me.
“Will you do me a favor?”
“What’s that?”
“Text me tomorrow morning and let me know that you and Nora are both feeling okay.”
“Don’t worry about us. We’re fine, dear.”
“Will you do it for me, please?”
She sighed. “Of course. Goodnight, Beck.”
After I hung up, I finished off the whiskey in my glass and poured a second. I felt restless and hoped it would help me relax. But it didn’t.
I tossed and turned all night and checked my phone a dozen times the next day. Gram never sent the text like she was supposed to. By dinner time, I’d lost my patience, so I shot a text to Nora first.
Beck: Hey. Gram said you weren’t feeling well yesterday. Just checking in to see if things are better today?
I stared at my screen, waiting for the message to change from Sent to Delivered. But it never did. What the fuck? How sick can someone be from too much wine that they can’t even charge their phone for two days? Rather than play any more games, I scrolled to Gram’s contact and hit Call. It rang twice and went to voicemail, which meant my grandmother had sent me there, because if she was just not near her phone it would’ve rang a few more times. And if her phone was off, it would have gone directly to voicemail.
I growled at the phone before tossing it on the counter. Unfortunately, I hadn’t noticed my daughter coming down the hall.
“What’s the matter, Daddy?”
“Nothing, sweetheart.”
She made a face that looked exactly like the one her mother made when she was calling bullshit. It made me smile. I lifted Maddie off the floor and flipped her upside down.
She giggled. “Daddy, what are you doing?”
“Trying to turn your frown to a smile.” I shook her a few times, as if gravity could make the corners of her lips turn the opposite direction. And it worked, because my daughter was smiling when I set her on her feet.
“What do you want to eat for dinner?” I asked. We always ordered in on Saturday nights.
She jumped up and down. “Sushi and an açai bowl.”
I chuckled. When I was little, McDonald’s was a treat. These kids were something else.
“You want the same thing you ordered last time?”
“Yes, please.”
I tapped the tip of her nose with my pointer. “You got it.”
“Daddy, can you load the pictures I took today to your laptop? I want to pick out some to send to Nora.”
My daughter was now working on her photography badge. Today, we’d walked all over the city so she could take pictures of graffiti, like Nora’s project.
“Sure. But I’ll show you how to do it. I already earned my Girl Scout photography badge.”
Maddie giggled. “Daddy, you were never a Girl Scout.”
“How do you know?”
“Because you’re a boy!”
I smiled. “Go get your camera, kiddo. I’ll teach you how to upload them, and then you can go through the photos after dinner, before your mom picks you up.”
“Okay, Daddy!” She skipped down the hall.
After I placed our dinner order, I tried Gram again. The same thing happened: two rings and then voicemail. So I sent a text.
Beck: How are you and Nora feeling today?
Almost two hours went by before my phone chimed with an incoming text. Maddie and I were already done eating, and she was in her room packing her things to go to her mom’s.
Gram: We’re good.
I frowned at my phone yet again.
Beck: Then why do you keep sending me to voicemail? And why is Nora’s phone off?
I watched as the dots started to jump around, then stopped for a few minutes. Then finally started again.
Gram: You shouldn’t come. But I know you never listen to me.
What the fuck?
Beck: Are you telling me to fly out there? What’s going on?
Gram: I’m not telling you anything. But I know how you can be.
Something was off.
Beck: Where is Nora right now?
There was another long lull before a response.
Gram: She’s resting.
Still resting from a hangover? For two days?
Screw this. I hit Call instead of texting back again. It rang once and went to voicemail. Her phone had clearly been in her hand two seconds ago. I started to type a what-the-fuck-is-going-on text, when another message came in from Gram.
Gram: I can’t talk right now.
Beck: WHY NOT? WHAT IS GOING ON?
Gram: I’ll see you tomorrow, if you come.
I had no idea what the hell was happening, but I was about to find out since the next thing I did was book the first flight to Utah I could get.
***
“Do you have any cars available?” I stood at the rental counter at Cedar City Regional Airport in Utah.
“You don’t have a reservation?” the guy on the other side asked.
“No.”
“Let me check.” He clicked on his keyboard for a minute before looking up again. “I only have SUVs available.”
“That’s perfect.”
“Okay. And when will you be returning it?”
I had no damn idea. “Can I book it until tomorrow and call and extend if necessary?”
“Sure.”
I had my grandmother’s typed itinerary, so I knew where she was staying. But on the plane I remembered she’d also given me access to her location with the Find Myapp. So once I got in the rental, I set the GPS to her exact location, rather than looking up the hotel’s address. It was eighty-two miles to wherever she was, but the roads were wide open, so it was only a little over an hour before the navigation directed me to exit the highway. A few miles down a busy road, it had me make a left…into Cannon Memorial Hospital’s parking lot.
What the fuck?
My heart started to race. My grandmother was in the hospital? Why the hell wouldn’t she tell me? The GPS flashed that I’d arrived at my destination, but I had no idea where the hell to go from here. So I parked near the main entrance and walked to the information desk.
“Hi. I’m visiting a patient, but I’m not sure of her room number.”
An older woman wearing a pink blazer with Volunteer emblazoned on the front smiled. “What’s the name?”
“Louise Aster.”
She typed into the computer. “I don’t see anyone with the name Aster. It’s after eleven, though. Could she have been discharged already today?”
I opened the Find My app on my phone and refreshed. My grandmother was definitely here somewhere. Perhaps she was being wheeled down from the floor she was on at this very moment. I shrugged and pointed to the door I’d just entered. “Maybe. Is this where she would come out if she was being discharged right now?”
The woman nodded. “Usually, yes.”
I looked around the lobby. There was no sign of my grandmother. “Alright. Thanks.” I started to walk away, but then... “Actually, what about Nora Sutton—Eleanor Sutton?”
The woman typed into her computer again. “Ms. Sutton is in ICU bed four.”
It felt like a punch in the gut. “Can you tell me how to get there?”
She pointed toward a bank of elevators. “Take the east elevators to the third floor and make a right. You can’t miss it.”
“Thanks.”
I could feel my heart beating in my throat as I rode the elevator up. It was less than thirty seconds, yet my gut was tied in a knot by the time I stepped off. I turned right and strode quickly toward a set of double doors marked Intensive Care.
The unit was a big, open room, with a nursing station in the middle and glass-partitioned rooms lining the perimeter. I walked over to the first person I saw in scrubs. He was on the phone, but that didn’t stop me.
“Nora Sutton. Bed four?”
The guy pointed and went back to his conversation. I did a double take as I walked in the direction he’d motioned. Holy shit. Was that even Nora? I took a few more steps to be sure. Nora didn’t look anything like Nora. She was pale and seemed so tiny, and there were a million wires and monitors hooked up to her. A nurse was adjusting one as I walked in.
She smiled politely. “Hello.”
I couldn’t take my eyes from Nora to give the nurse the courtesy of looking at her when I spoke. “Is she okay?”
“Ms. Sutton is doing as well as can be expected in her condition.”
“Her condition? What’s her condition?”
The nurse looked me up and down, and her friendly smile turned cautious. “I’m sorry. Who are you? How are you related to Ms. Sutton?”
A red sign on the wall over Nora’s head caught my attention. DNR.Do not resuscitate? Why the hell would that be there?
I raised my voice. “What happened to Nora?”
“Sir, I’m going to have to ask you to step outside.”
A familiar voice came from behind me. “Bea, this is my grandson. He’s with me.”
I turned to find my grandmother holding a cup of coffee. Her face was solemn, and dark circles hollowed the skin beneath her eyes. It looked like she hadn’t slept in a while.
“Gram, what the hell is going on? What happened to Nora?”
My grandmother and the nurse exchanged glances before Gram pointed over her shoulder. “Why don’t we go sit in the waiting room and talk for a few minutes?”
I stared at Nora’s still body for a long time before finally following my grandmother out of the ICU and to an empty room at the end of the hall.
Gram sat on an orange plastic chair and patted the seat next to her. But I was too wired to sit. I raked a hand through my hair. “What the hell is going on, Gram? Is Nora okay? Are you okay?”
She smiled sadly. “I’m fine, sweetheart.”
“Did you have an accident or something?”
She shook her head. “No, no accident. Nora isn’t well, Beck. It isn’t my place to tell you. She didn’t want anyone to know about her condition. But since you’re here… I suppose you’ll find out anyway.”
“Condition? What condition?”
“Nora has cardiac rhabdomyosarcoma—malignant recurring tumors that infiltrate her heart.”
“Has? She told me she’d had a tumor, but it was removed and she was cured. I saw the scar on her chest.”
“She’s had quite a few surgeries. Her condition is recurring, just like her mother’s was. But the current tumors are inoperable.” Gram frowned. “She’s been doing really well, but two days ago, she suffered a heart attack.”
My eyes bulged. “A heart attack?”
Gram nodded. “She’s holding her own. But they have her in a medically induced coma now. They’ll probably keep her that way for a few more days.” Gram held out her hand. Since my head was now spinning, I took it and sat.
“Why didn’t she tell me?”
“Probably because she wanted her privacy. I know you think you’re hiding it, but I can see something has grown between you two. She lights up when she’s texting lately, and there’s a brightness in her eyes that hadn’t been there before. But I know it wasn’t something she’d planned on. Nora didn’t want to get close to anyone new, only to hurt them when…”
I swallowed. “When what? Are you saying she’s dying?”
My grandmother squeezed my hand. “Nora doesn’t live in my building, son. We met at a Living at the End of Your Life group meeting.”
I couldn’t breathe. The insipid brown walls closed in on me. I pulled at the collar of my shirt, though it wasn’t tight around my neck. “I need air.”
The color drained from my grandmother’s face. “I’ll go get a nurse.”
“No. I just need air.” I stood. “I’ll be back.”
My grandmother got to her feet. “I’ll go with you.”
“No.” I shook my head. “I need a few minutes.”
She hesitated but nodded. “I’ll wait here for you.”
I don’t remember getting in the elevator or making my way through the halls, but suddenly I found myself outside. Bent over with my hands on my knees, I gulped air in big mouthfuls, like I’d been deprived of it for hours.
My head spun to the point that I thought the yogurt I’d eaten on the plane might come up. I must’ve looked as bad as I felt, because a woman in scrubs walked over.
“Sir, are you okay? Do you need medical attention?”
I managed to shake my head. “I’m fine. Just needed some air.”
“Are you sure?”
I wasn’t, and it didn’t seem like she was going to walk away easily, so I forced myself to stand. I nodded again. “I’m okay. Just got some bad news.”
“I’m sorry. There’s a chapel at the end of the hall on the first floor, if that might help.”
“Thank you.”
After she went back inside, I decided to take a walk. I didn’t want anyone else stopping to ask if I was okay. Luckily, there was a path that led around the building, because I wasn’t in the right state of mind to figure out where I was going on my own.
As I walked, so many things clicked into place.
Nora would never let me come to her apartment. It made sense now, since she hadn’t really met my grandmother because they lived in the same building.
Nora didn’t want a relationship. She was a giver, not a taker. She’d never get involved with anyone new because she didn’t want to hurt them when…
I swallowed.
The scar on her chest.
Her wanting to meet her biological father for the first time in her life.
Her friendship with my grandmother never did add up. Nora had said some of the things they were doing were her ideas, too. It wasn’t just my grandmother’s bucket list. It was Nora’s also.
There were so many signs that I couldn’t believe I hadn’t put two and two together. How the hell did I not see that there was more to their bond than just friendship?
Once all the answers fell into place, an entirely new crop of questions began to fill my head.
How long does she have?
Is there no treatment available?
Has she seen every expert possible?
Has she been to Mass General? What about London and Berlin? I’d recently read an article that said their cardiac care was leading the future.
Can I get a medicopter to take us all the way back to New York? Or do I need a plane?
The pace of my walk around the hospital picked up as I got my second wind. Not knowing details, I realized the time I was taking right now could be time Nora needed. So I jogged back toward the entrance. After a few seconds, the jog turned into a full sprint. I ran through the front door, ignoring the security guard telling me to slow down, and down the hall to the elevator bank. Pushing the button three times didn’t help, so I found the nearest stairs and took them two at a time, rushing up.
My grandmother was waiting outside the little room we’d talked in. I stopped and pointed to the ICU doors.
“How many experts has she seen? Who’s her primary doctor at home? We need to get her transferred back to New York ASAP. This little rinky-dink hospital can’t give her what she needs and—”
My grandmother pushed her finger to my lips, quieting me.
“What she needs is peace. It doesn’t matter where she is. The doctors here have been very accommodating and are making her comfortable.”
“Comfortable? No. She needs experts.”
“Beck…”
“Don’t Beck me. She’s not even thirty. She’s young and healthy. There’s got to be something they can do for her.”
Gram frowned. “She’s had three open-heart surgeries in ten years, and just as many rounds of chemo. The tumors returned with a vengeance, and they’re in a place that they can’t be resected.”
“Who said? Someone has to be able to fix it.”
“Not everything in life is fixable, sweetheart. And Nora has made her wishes very clear. She doesn’t want any more treatments. She wants to go out on her terms.”
It felt like someone had cracked open my ribs and pulled my heart out. I shook my head and yanked my cell phone from my pocket. “I need to make some calls. Find someone she hasn’t seen before, someone who can help her.”
“The only thing you need to do is be there for her. Support her decisions.”
“No.” I was already Googling the head of cardiac surgery at Mass General. “I can’t sit by and let two people I love die because they think it’s time to quit!”
My grandmother’s face went soft. For a moment I wasn’t sure why.
She lifted her hand and covered her heart. “You weren’t supposed to fall in love with her, Beck.”
I froze. Was I in love with her?
Oh fuck.
