Grand Lies by JC Hawke

25

Nina

I feel refreshedwhen I leave Lowerwick. It made me see that there are so many more important things in life than the studio. Seeing Anthony and the poor health he has right now, it makes me realise that sitting around and wallowing over my misfortune won’t make a difference. You have to get out, do something. I plan to explore all my options over the weekend so that when Monday comes I am ready to get my shit together.

I have to stay positive.

Mason’s been on my mind all afternoon, and being at his childhood home made me feel closer to him. He is distant right now and it’s hard to understand his headspace, but I want to make things okay between us.

Pulling out my phone, I call him, hoping he will answer.

“Angel,” he says down the phone, his voice smooth and comforting.

I smile wide at the endearment. “Hey.”

Silence stretches between us, and I worry I should have just waited until I got home to talk. I just missed him.

“Sorry I didn’t call today. It’s been busy in the office,” he tells me.

“You don’t need to apologise, it’s me who should be sorry. I know you have a lot on right now, and I should be better. I was a little emotional last night, and I was deflecting my own problems.”

“What?” he says, sounding confused.

“It’s just a job,” tears fill my eyes, and I fight to keep my voice steady. Do I even believe my own words? “I will find something else, and I will work at making it just as good. But I shouldn’t be dragging you down into my mess, it’s not your fault and you have enough going on.”

He clears his throat. “Can we talk about this when I get home, babe? I’m nearly there.”

“Uh, yeah, you might beat me back though.” I chuckle as I think about my impromptu afternoon.

“Where are you? You’ve been out?”

“Yeah, I went to see your sister and dad.”

“Where?”

“Lowerwick.” I frown, gripping the phone tight.

Shit.

Should I have asked him first?

“The girls were both working, and I knew Scar would be home,” I try to explain.

“It’s fine. I will see you at home.”

I already know it’s not fine. The tone of his voice tells me it’s not fine. I keep fucking this up.

“Okay. I’m sorry, Mase.”

“Stop saying sorry. Please. There is nothing for you to be sorry about.” He exhales heavily down the phone, and my heart aches in my chest.

Why does he feel a million miles away from me right now?

“I’ll see you soon,” he says, hanging up.

My mood hits rock bottom, and I regret calling him. I drop my head to the taxi window and let the first tear fall.

Crying. Again.

I feel fed up.

I feel hurt.

And I feel like a fool. I can’t mask the turmoil that’s plaguing me, not when my only escapes are gone.

My studio and my Mase.

* * *

Mase

I madeit back before Nina, and with my head thoroughly fried after a day trying to find the perfect studio, I decide to order in Chinese for dinner, knowing it’s her favourite.

I’ve been in the gym every morning and evening this week, trying to work off the guilt that seems to be hanging over my head. Despite my constant workouts, my body is still wound tight, and I have no idea how to shift it.

And as for her, I struggle to even look at her, knowing what I’ve taken away.

“Mase?” she calls, making her way through the penthouse.

“In here,” I call back.

“Hey!” She smiles as she steps into the kitchen, and my heart sinks when I see her red-rimmed eyes.

I go to her, taking her in my arms and holding her close. “I can’t stand to see you cry.”

“I’m okay.” She sniffles as more tears fall to my shirt.

I take her chin and lift her face so I can see her. I haven’t given her this connection in days. Our eyes blaze, and I can’t look away, something passing between us that’s deeper than anything I’ve ever experienced before.

A carnal need to take what we both crave.

I shake my head as my mouth comes down on hers, and the world seems to tilt just an inch back into place.

* * *

Nina

I’m hungry for him.Starved. If you told me ten minutes ago this is how my evening would go, I would have laughed in your face. But this is us, and it’s what we know. It’s what we are good at.

Mase pulls at his tie, loosening it enough to pull it over his head. His shirt follows moments later. And this isn’t a romantic undressing of one another, we shed our clothes ourselves as we rush to have the connection.

I only manage to get my jeans off of one leg when he lifts me, pushing me back hard into the fridge. My legs wrap around his body as he pulls my trousers down over my foot.

His strong, powerful body ripples under me and I squeeze my legs around him, urging him to come closer.

The lace of my underwear tears as he rips my thong from my hips, and in the next second, he fills me. He drops his head on a deep groan, resting it against my breast bone. He takes a second—unmoving—his breath fanning my heated skin.

“Mase.”

When his head comes up and his gaze meets mine, I see the darkness lurking there.

His brows dip low as I smile down at him, and it seems to break his trance. He begins to move inside me. Hard and fast, not giving me a moment to catch my breath.

His hand lifts my leg, putting it flush to the fridge. My other leg drops an inch from his waist, and the move has him rubbing perfectly against the spot inside me.

“Fuck!” he bites out. “Don’t come yet.”

I close my eyes and try to think of anything but the feel of him.

His movements are uncontrolled and unlike him; a hyper wave of adrenaline as he thrusts into me relentlessly. I grit my teeth as his hand grips my thigh tight enough to mark.

He is wild. Unleashing everything he has.

My eyes flash open as a tortured cry leaves his throat. His sad eyes are locked on my face, and for a moment, he looks utterly broken.

Dropping his head, he hides from me, picking up the pace until my toes are curling and I can’t hold off any longer. My body coils tight around him, and I jerk forward as my orgasm takes me. He follows behind me, pumping three more times inside me before he stills, gripping my shoulder hard as he rains open-mouthed kisses against my throat.

What the fuck was that?

“Mase?”

His head rests heavily on my shoulder as we stand connected as one, but he doesn’t answer me. My leg begins to cramp, and I push from his grip, letting it fall to the ground. My tired eyes meet his, and the smile he gives me soothes some of the worry.

“Go shower, angel, and I will set up the table for dinner.”

* * *

I yawn and stretch,feeling incredible, my body the perfect kind of sore. Mason couldn’t get enough last night. Every time I thought he was done, he would be desperate for more and I know I will pay for it today; I feel exhausted.

Slipping from the sheets, I reach for my phone and see Maggie has texted me.

Maggie: No news this end. Have you had any luck?

I exit the message and chuck my phone to the bottom of the bed.

Shower first, then I’m fixing this mess.

Mason isn’t in bed, so I head for the stairs to look for him. I’m not surprised when I find him in his home office. It’s where he spends all his time recently.

“Hey.” I smile, moving around the desk and climbing into his lap. He buries his nose into my hair, kissing my neck. “You’re up early, Bossman. Even for you.”

“Hmm, I had to get some things sorted for the day. I have something to show you.”

“Yeah?”

He reaches forward and picks up a folder from the desk. I frown, stilling on his lap as he flips over the page and hands me the top sheet. “You can have your pick, but I think this one is perfect,” he whispers into my shoulder.

My heart rate begins to pick up. “I don’t understand; this is for sale and won’t be in my budget—ever.”

“The price is because of location, it puts you close to my office.” He squeezes my hip, watching me for a reaction.

I think he is trying to suggest this as a new studio, but that would be ridiculous because I could never afford it. “I need to find someplace for rent, Mase. This is ridiculously big, and completely out of my budget.” I laugh nervously.

“I know. Which is why I placed an offer.”

“You what?” I utter, standing and staring down at the sheet of paper in my hands.

“I’ve been looking for days. I viewed a couple, but none of them were right. Then this one came up just yesterday. Do you like it?”

I’ve been looking for days.

“Yeah, but I don’t want it.” I drop it to the desk and leave the office, making my way to the kitchen. I stand at the coffee machine on autopilot and switch it on.

I’ve been here alone the past two days, and he has been out looking at new studios?

“What do you mean you don’t want it?” he fumes, following in after me. “It’s ten times better than your old studio.”

My eyes lift to look at him.

I don’t want to argue.

I don’t want to yell.

I want to run because I know what comes next.

“I don’t want you buying me things,” I tell him, my hand shaking as I pour the coffee. “I’ve told you this so many times.”

“Fucking this again. I thought we were past this? Nina, you won’t be able to afford the start-ups on a new studio now. Let me help you.”

“No. Drop it, please. I will figure it out. I always do.”

“So, what? You’re going to mope around here all day until a studio miraculously lands in your lap?”

“I’m not moping, thank you, asshole!” You’d know if you’d been here. “Leave me alone, I’m not doing this now.”

His anger is pissing me off, and I don’t want to say something I will regret later, but the more he pushes, the more my walls go up.

“No, you’ve not been moping because you are too busy playing house with my fucking family!” he roars.

My eyes go wide, my heart thumping almost painfully in my chest, which is dumb because I knew it was coming. The nasty slap that stings with each syllable that penetrates.

“I thought you said you didn’t care that I went to Lowerwick? Why are you throwing it in my face now?”

He drops his head, his hands spread wide on the worktop. “I just want to fix this. Let me fix it!”

“I don’t need you to fix it, Mase, don’t you get it? Whilst you’ve spent days looking for a new studio, I’ve been here alone dealing with the hurt that comes with losing the one I’ve built from the ground up. I’ve been alone when you promised me I wouldn’t be again. You. You promised me that. I told myself I was being selfish, and I’ve tried to put on a brave face, but you don’t deserve it.”

Tears well in my eyes, but I blink them away. He doesn’t deserve them either. “This isn’t the Mase I know,” My eyes drop down his hunched form. “and you are not the man I thought I was falling for. He wouldn’t hurt me like you just have.”

“Nina,” he warns, his jaw ticcing as he braces himself.

“Get your shit together, Mason.”

“Where are you going?” he asks as I walk from the kitchen.

“Anywhere but here.”

I hear a bang and glass smashing as I jog up the stairs. I gather up my things and change into my tights, then slip from the penthouse.

I just want my Mase back.

* * *

The girls areboth asleep when I get to their apartment half an hour later, so I let myself in with my key. I didn’t want to call and wake them, but I also didn’t want to be alone. I’ve felt alone for days. As quiet as I can, I start making the coffee, not wanting to wake them but knowing they will be up soon anyway.

“Hello?” Lucy’s voice calls out from the lounge.

I spin around, squinting as I try to make her out in the darkened room. “It’s me, babe,” I call out.

“Oh, thank god.” Megan flicks on the main lights, and we all cover our eyes. She stands with a flip-flop in her hand, shrugging when I eye it. “I thought you were a burglar.”

“And what was that going to do?” I eye the flip-flop, smiling, even though I feel like shit inside.

“What’s going on? How come you are here?” Luce asks, drawing my attention to her.

I take a deep breath in, running my hands over my face and through my hair. “I don’t even know.” My eyes start to well up and I look between the girls. “He didn’t even try to stop me from leaving,” I choke out.

Lucy pulls me into a hug. “Come on, everyone in my bed.”

The three of us climb into Lucy’s double bed, something we haven’t done in years.

We lie looking up at the ceiling, not needing to fill the silence that settles over us.

“He wants to buy me a studio,” I finally voice.

Lucy smiles sadly over at me. “That explains a lot.”

“The money bothers me, but I think it’s the fact he’s been so cold all week, saying he was busy in the office. I thought I should give him time and the benefit of the doubt with his dad being poorly, but then he said he had spent days looking for a studio. I just really needed him to be here for me, and he hasn’t been. Money was the last thing I wanted from him.”

“Do you think it’s because of Joey? I mean, the guy has had a thing for you forever. Maybe he’s pissed about that,” Megan asks.

“No. He told me it wasn’t, and I believe him.”

“Just give him space, babe. He will come around.” Lucy smiles, squeezing me tight.

“I don’t know if I want to see him at the minute. The things he says when he gets mad. I need space right now, and I will decide when I am ready to go back. Don’t go letting him in if he comes knocking.”

“You got it,” Megan agrees.

“Pancakes?” Lucy asks.

* * *

I’mdeep in the kitchen cupboard when I hear my phone ringing in the front room. I woke up early and didn’t know what to do with myself, and after making myself a cup of coffee and noticing the total disorganisation of the mugs, I decided to rearrange them. It’s now late morning, and I haven’t been able to stop. The girls reluctantly left me to go to work this morning after a weekend of my tears and moaning. I don’t know how they put up with me most days.

Shimmying out of the small space, I dart to the coffee table and check my phone, finding Joey’s name lighting up the screen.

The photos.

“Hi, Joey.”

“Nina! I’m surprised I caught you. I thought you’d be busy at the studio.”

My throat grows tight as I think about the studio. “No, I had some bad news last week. The studio has been sold by the owner.”

“What? Can you still use the space, like, rent from the new owners?”

“No. The locks were changed the day it sold.”

I still need to get my things.

“Nina, that sucks. Is there anything I can do?”

I smile at his concern. “Not in terms of my studio, but you could show me the bomb ass photos you took. I’d love to see them.”

“It’s why I was calling. Are you free today?”

I’m about to say yes when I think better of it—eyeing the mess on the kitchen floor and the state of myself in the hallway mirror.

“Not today, but I could probably make tomorrow work?”

“Brilliant, are you okay to come to me? It’s easier with the computer.”

I have a moment of doubt. I know Mase won’t like me meeting Joey, let alone somewhere private, but with the way he has been acting this week—fuck him.

“Yeah, sure, text me your address and I will come to you.”

“Will do. Thanks, Nina.”

“Bye, Joey.”

I throw my phone to the counter and eye the mess on the floor, wondering why I even started in the first place. The girls would give me crap if I left it like this now. Begrudgingly, I finish the cupboards, wiping them down and putting everything away again. I shower and check my phone for any alerts on new premises and then climb back into bed. The thought of doing anything else seems utterly exhausting.

* * *

“I spoke to Elliot earlier.Mason wasn’t in the office today, and he asked me if I knew what was up,” Lucy tells me as she opens her kitchen cupboards in amazement. “This is incredible. You colour coordinated our tins?”

“I had lots of spare time.” I shrug.

“You’re acting mopey. Tomorrow you need to get out, go to the gym or something.”

“You spoke to Elliot?” I divert the conversation from me, arching a brow at her in question.

“Yes, Elliot. My friend Elliot who is just that, a friend. Is that okay?” She starts to get jerky as her annoyance rises.

“Absolutely.” I grin at her from where I’m sitting on the counter.

“You look like a psycho when you smile like that.”

I start to giggle. “I feel like a psycho today. Honestly, I don’t think I have cried so much in my life. Not even as much as that day Mum left me in that park when I was six.” I shake my head at the memory. “This week has been a hyper wave of emotions.”

“Have you heard anything from him?”

“Nope. Not even a text.” I jab my tongue in the side of my cheek, trying to think about anything else. How did I get him so wrong?

“What is up with him? Why make a fuss of chasing you down to act like a player now. He asked you to move in, not the other way around.”

“I don’t—”

The doorbell rings, cutting me off. “Hold that thought.” Lucy skirts off around the corner, and a few minutes later Mason appears in the doorway. My heart grows heavy in my chest. Lucy stands at his back, and I give her the stink eye as she squeezes past him.

“I’m just going to go take a shower or something,” she says, heading down the corridor.

His eyes cut into me. They are full of so many questions, yet neither of us speak.

“Why are you here?” I ask after a beat.

He steps farther into the room, coming to stand in front of me. “I need to speak to you.”

“You could have called,” I snap, harsher than I intended.

His eyes lock on mine as his hand comes up to smooth my hair. I itch to lean into his touch, but I don’t, staring back at him with absolutely nothing in my eyes.

“Maybe I needed to see you,” he tells me.

“Yeah? Maybe I needed you too, Mase, and maybe you were nowhere to be found.”

“I know.” He drops his head, his voice full of remorse. “I am so sorry, Nina, I just needed to fix it. You were so upset about the studio.”

“When you get mad you use your words to hurt me. I won’t stand for it.”

“I know.”

“Do you? You keep saying you know Mason, but do you?”

“Yes, would I be here now if I didn’t?” He picks up my hand, inching closer. “Come home.”

I want to. God, I would give anything for the warmth of his body wrapped around me, but if I let him off now when he can so easily slash me with his words, then I will live a life full of it, and I won’t allow that for myself.

“No.”

“Nina—”

“I will come home, you don’t have to worry about that. Go to work, carry on as normal. When I’m ready, I will be home.”

“When will that be?” He frowns.

“I have a studio to find and a showcase to win.” I shrug.

I’m not for sale.

“You’ll never let me help you, will you?”

“You have no idea what it took for me to allow myself to live with you.” I think about how easy it was for him to get me to move in. “But that guy. The man who took me to Paris and allowed me to decide for myself. That guy can be pretty damn perfect.”

“Come home,” he begs.

I shake my head, and his nostrils flare.

“I used to enjoy winding you up. I would tell Vinny how fun it was, but now? Now I tread the line so careful, afraid of the damage you will do to us with your words.”

“Nina, this is ridiculous; just come home. What’s the point of waiting a couple of days?”

“Mase, you aren’t the man I met six weeks ago. It’s been a crazy few weeks. Take some time for yourself, go and see your family.” I drop my head to the side, smiling. “I have so much in my own life I need to fix right now, and you should do the same.” I bring my hand up and smooth it down his chest. “We can wait.”

“You drive me insane,” he huffs, capturing my hand in his.

Hope blooms in my chest. “Good, I want your insanity back. You disappeared on me for a few days.”

He swallows thickly and takes a deep breath in. “Promise me you will come back to me.”

My lips twist up in a smile. “I promise.”