Joker by Andi Rhodes

Chapter Nine

^{I’m lying to myself, aren’t I?}

Riley

Running.

That’s all I can think about as my legs and arms pump in a rhythm I found a mile back.

My heart pounds, and heavy breaths fill my lungs. My nose fills with the scent of pine and sweat, and when a bead of the salty liquid slides past my eyebrow onto my eyelash, I have to slow my pace to rub my face on my shoulder. It’s nearly useless because the black tank top I’m wearing is soaked.

“Fuck,” I grit, slowing to a walk and gripping the hem of my tank. I lift it up to my face and wipe away the excess sweat. The sun has just about set, so it’s already pretty dark beneath the trees, and I swivel my head in search of any threats. I’m so used to the act, I don’t even think about it.

And then I hear it.

Gravel crunching behind me. It’s loud like whoever or whatever is making the sound isn’t trying to hide it.

I face forward and take off again.

Blood whooshes in my ears, but I swear I can hear things rustling in the trees. The gravel crunching only gets louder as whatever’s chasing me closes in, but now it seems like it’s coming from all sides. I swivel my head and pump my legs harder, faster, until my face is set in a permanent cringe and my eyes are squinted to the point I can’t see anything.

Something pushes on my back, and I fall forward. My knees hit the gravel first, and little rocks imbed in my skin. I clench my teeth and groan in pain.

“What the fuck, Black Bird?”

Joker?

I push up on my elbows and shift onto my ass before glaring up at Joker’s bare chest and face swallowed up in shadows. Even though I can’t make out his expression, I can see it in my mind. That smug fucking look of his.

“Did you just shove me?” I ask, pushing the words through my teeth. My lungs feel like they’re on fire, and my chest rises and falls with my heavy breathing. The fear that swallowed me whole moments ago vanishes, and the bushes no longer rustle. We’re out here alone.

“Why were you running from me?”

“I wasn’t.” I push myself up and dust the gravel and dirt from my body, wincing when I touch my right knee. It’s going to need to be cleaned. “I was on a jog, you fucking neanderthal.”

He takes my arm and jerks me toward him. On instinct, I brace my hands on his chest to catch myself. I quickly pull them away like he burned me and glare up into his eyes. They’re gleaming in the moonlight, and it’s only now that I realize the sun has completely set.

“I know you heard me, and I watched you stop. You were fucking running from me.”

I jerk my arm from his hold and take a step back. “I didn’t know it was you, Joker. What the hell are you out here chasing me for?”

“Charlie and Widow said you’ve been distant since we got back. They said you seem… distraught.”

“‘Kay, and?”

“Care to enlighten me on what that’s about?”

I tuck some loose strands of hair behind my ears and let out a frustrated sigh. Leave it to those girls to nark on me. I let my hands fall to my sides and my shoulders shrug. I still haven’t quite caught my breath, and I’m exhausted. Far too exhausted to lie and pretend the events of today haven’t shaken me. “I guess I’m just afraid the package sent today has to do with my ex-husband.”

“Ex-husband? I thought you were still married?”

“On paper sure,” I roll my eyes and pretend he didn’t just catch me in a lie. I take a moment to try and remember everything I’ve told him, which luckily isn’t much. “We’re not exactly about to take a second honeymoon.”

“Why do you think it has to do with him?”

There isn’t any hint of skepticism in his voice, which makes me think he also suspects it. Of course he does. He’s been suspicious of me since we first met, it’s only a matter of time before he figures it all out.

I should tell him. Just get it over with and save us both the headache of having to act out this charade any longer.

But what will he do then?

Kick me off the property?

Feed me to the sharks?

Or will the Soulless Kings be so angry they don’t even bother giving me to my stalker? Maybe they’ll just kill me themselves. It isn’t as if they’re upstanding citizens or anything. They’re dangerous.

“Black Bird?”

“Huh?” I ask, blinking.

“I asked you a question.”

“I don’t know,” I say, lamely. “I’m paranoid, I guess.”

He gives a single nod, and the permanent smirk on his face softens some. Is he pitying me again? Why?

“So boxing gloves don’t have any meaning to you?”

“No,” I say a little too quickly. “I have no idea why he would send something like that.”

Joker sighs and rolls his neck. When he looks at me again, the smirk is fully gone. “It probably has nothing to do with him then. The Soulless Kings have a hell of a lot of enemies, and none that are any risk to you, so just… relax, okay? Don’t go running off like this. It makes you look suspicious.”

“I didn’t know I needed any help looking suspicious to you.”

His lips lift, and it almost feels right again.

“Fair point.” He nods behind him. “Come on, let’s head back. I'll help you clean your knee. You should really be less fucking clumsy.”

“You pushed me!”

He laughs, and even though I want to be angry, I let out an amused huff and shake my head. We walk back up the trail in silence, with me leading the way. Every time I try to fall back into step beside him, his hand touches my back and he shoves me forward a little. I don’t know what it’s about, but my guess is he just likes to be an asshole.

Or he doesn’t want to turn his back on me.

I stand straighter as that thought emerges, and I toss him a look over my shoulder.

“What?” he asks, his eyebrow raised.

I turn to look ahead of me and shake my head. “Nothing.”

But I can’t get the thought out. Is he an asshole because that’s who he is, or could he feel threatened by me?

No.

No fucking way.

He doesn’t even know I’m a boxer. He doesn’t know I’m trained to fight, but even if he did, one punch to the face would have me landing on my ass. I could deflect him for a while, sure, and maybe even knock him off balance and take him, but there’s no way that’s what he’s thinking.

But he doesn’t trust me. Inherently. I’m beginning to think it has less to do with him sensing that I’m actually up to something and more to do with something else. I just don’t know what.

“Who were you talking to on the phone earlier today?” I ask, turning my face to the side.

“The fuck does it matter to you?”

I shrug and smile as I face forward. I’m starting to pick up when I’ve struck a nerve with him, and I can see why he finds it so much fun to do the same to me. “Just curious.”

“Well, don’t be.”

The clubhouse appears in the distance, but when I walk up the path leading to it, Joker takes my arm and guides me to the right. “We’re not going there.”

“What?”

“I’ve got all the shit we need at my place.”

I dig my heels into the ground and turn toward him, my eyes narrowing at him.

He chuckles and lets go of my arm. “What? Don’t trust me?”

“No. I don’t,” I state, matter-of-factly.

He chuckles again and steps around me. He begins walking down a different path away from me while I stare at his tensing back.

I was right, he doesn’t like turning his back on me.

He glances over his shoulder and reveals a grin. “Come on, Black Bird. Don’t be such a chicken. I don’t bite… hard.”

He continues walking, and I flick my gaze between him and the clubhouse. I’m sure Widow and Charlie are in there waiting to ask me what’s been going on with me today, and right now, I’d rather not lie to them. That’s the reason I give myself for going after Joker. For chancing another night alone with him.

I’m lying to myself, aren’t I?