A Deal with the Bossy Devil by Kyra Parsi

7

“A slave.You’re going to be Adrien Cloutier’s slave for a month, then.”

Jamie was standing at the foot of my bed, arms crossed unhappily as I stuffed my suitcase with clothes.

“He prefers the term ‘personal assistant.’”

“That’s like slapping a floppy dildo onto a donkey’s forehead and calling it a unicorn,” she deadpanned.

“Fine,” I conceded, ripping my laptop charger out of its socket. “I’m his slave for a month. Happy?”

“No.”

“Great. Neither am I.” I twisted the charger around my wrist with a lot more aggression than was necessary. “But it’s not like I have a whole lot of other options, Jamie. He’s not giving me any.”

She tapped her foot impatiently. “Does Alba know?”

“I haven’t had a chance to talk to her yet.” And before Jamie could say anything else, I pulled an envelope out of my bag and held it out to her. “Here. Next month’s rent.”

I had exactly ten weeks’ worth of living expenses put aside for emergencies, which gave me around six weeks to find a new job after this whole nightmare with Adrien was over. The timeline was a little tight, but it could have been worse.

“Take it,” I insisted when she hesitated. I could tell she didn’t want to, but I also knew she couldn’t afford not to.

“Thanks,” she muttered. Though it sounded more like a sullen apology than anything else, so I squeezed her forearm gently to let her know it was fine.

An uncharacteristically long silence followed as I went back to packing, and Jamie kept shifting on her heels like she was trying to decide something important.

“All right, fine!” she suddenly blurted, making me jump. Toebeans glared at her from atop the pile of folded clothes on my bed. Shouting wasn’t tolerated in his home. “We’ll move with you.”

My hands froze midfold. “What?”

“Stop begging. I already said we’d do it!”

“I didn’t—”

She pressed a hard finger to my lips. “Shhh, it’s okay. Toebeans and I are willing to make this sacrifice for your sake.”

Toebeans yowled his disagreement, tail tapping against my clothes irritably. He wasn’t going anywhere.

“He’ll get over it,” Jamie claimed, knowing full well he wouldn’t.

I grabbed her wrist and pulled her hand away from my face. “I’m not making you move with me.”

She lifted a shoulder. “I’m insisting.”

“You’re being ridiculous.”

“Yes,” she agreed, “but I love you and I’m not gonna let you do this alone. Sorry.”

Sometimes I really didn’t think I deserved to have Jamie in my life. She was loyal and supportive to a fault.

I opened my mouth to argue with her again, but she held a palm up to stop me.

“If it makes you feel better, I’ve also got my own selfish reasons for wanting to come,” she lied, right to my face. “Firstly, I looked up the address you gave me, and that building is a lotnicer than this one. Secondly, I’ll miss you too much. I’m far too obsessed with you, and our relationship is way too codependent for me to survive a full month without you.”

“It’s not like I won’t seeyou—”

“It’s not the same.”

I had to bite back my grin. “I think a little space might actually be healthy—”

“Nope!” She whipped around dramatically, shooting a hand into the air. “Pack your Spidey blanky Toebeans Maguire, we’re moving!”

I’d never heard a more devastated meow in my life.

* * *

“Holy shit,” Jamie breathed.

“Holy shit,” I agreed.

“I thought the whole purpose of making you do this was to punish you.”

I dropped my bags and surveyed the living room again, my mouth hanging open. Because holy shit, was this a nice apartment. It looked like it had been ripped straight out of an interior designer’s bohemian wet dream.

“Do you think it’s a trap?” I whispered to Jamie as she brushed her fingers across a particularly luxurious-looking throw pillow. “Like a Hansel and Gretel type thing but with really nice furniture instead of candy?”

She sunk onto the cream-colored couch, her spine melting right into its cushions. “Probably.”

Even Toebeans wasn’t nearly as displeased with his new surroundings as we’d expected. He was cautious at first, yowling his complaints at us every time we walked past, but it only lasted for a few hours, just until he discovered how comfortable Egyptian cotton was.

“Get off my pillow,” I chided for the millionth time. But—once again—my request fell on deaf ears. He probably couldn’t hear me over the sound of his own purring.

I left him alone and continued to unpack, having promised myself that once I managed to get it all done and organized, I’d treat myself to a glass of wine and a bubble bath.

Not only did I get my own bathroom (a luxury I’d experienced exactly zero times in my life), but the tub was huge. I was pretty sure I could swim laps in it, and I fully planned on testing my theory as soon as possible.

“Hey.” Jamie popped into my room, holding a hairdryer. “Do you think maybe you should have checked with Adrien to make sure he was cool with us staying here, too?”

I blinked, my mouth parting a bit. There was a slight chance it hadn’t occurred to me to let him know until that very second. “Technically he didn’t say I couldn’t have a roommate. Or a cat. So… this one’s on him.”

Plus, Adrien hadn’t given me any way to contact him. So I wouldn’t have been able to let him know in advance anyway.

“Okay, but he technically also didn’t say you could.”

I popped my empty suitcase into the (massive) walk-in closet and shut the door. “You were the one who insisted on moving with me.”

She pointed an accusatory finger right at my chest. “You were the one who didn’t stop me!”

“I tried.”

She snorted. “Barely.”

“Um… what the hell happened to being way too obsessed with me to let me go?”

She sniffed theatrically. “You told me I was your one and only.”

I sighed. “Don’t do this, baby. Don’t cry. You know I didn’t mean it.”

“Don’t!” Jamie exclaimed dramatically, trying her best to summon a bout of elephant tears. “Don’t you dare tell me you love me! That’s what you said last time!”

“It wasn’t my fault! It wasn’t even my car!” I yelled back, sliding to my knees in front of her. “Jamie, baby, please. Talk to me. Let’s talk.”

Her lower lip wobbled. “I know about the scarves.”

Fuck. “I was drunk,” I said, stumbling over my words. “I was drunk and it was May the 4th and you knowhowI like to celebrate Groundhog Day privately with Michael.”

Our nonsensical theatrics were interrupted by a loud, firm knock on the door. Jamie and I looked at each other, both our eyes flaring.

“Were you expecting him?” she mouthed silently.

I shook my head. Our agreement wasn’t supposed to start until tomorrow.

Another knock and Jamie fled with a quiet “good luck,” sneaking back into her room.

Flustered and unprepared for whatever interaction was about to take place, I quickly ran to the mirror to check the state of my hair and—

Wait a minute, who cares?

Another knock and, oh my god, I’d never met anyone with such little patience.

I rolled my eyes as I made my way to the front door, taking my sweet time. It was petty as hell, but it felt good to make him wait just a few extra seconds, knowing how much it probably annoyed him.

By the time I pulled the door open, he was scowling. Adrien Cloutier was standing in front of my—his—apartment door, dressed in yet another one of his expensive suits (because why give it a rest on a Sunday), looking wholly unhappy to see me. Like just seeing my face was enough to ruin his day.

It felt really, really good to sour his mood. It fulfilled me. Fed my soul on a spiritual level.

I grinned and jerked my chin at him. “Sup.”

He blinked slowly, kind of like an unimpressed lizard. “I could hear you dragging your feet. You made me wait on purpose.”

“That doesn’t sound like me.”

The scowl deepened. “Might I remind you, Miss Sanchez, that you’re the one who asked for the opportunity to—” Adrien cut off, his gaze slicing down to something on the floor behind me.

I twisted my neck to find Toebeans sneaking up to us, his attention locked cautiously on the potential new threat.

Adrien’s dark eyes narrowed as they slid back to my face. “You have a cat?”

I let my head slant to the side. “Do I?”

“He’s very fat.”

Excuse me?“And you blink like a lizard. What’s your point?”

Adrien ignored my devastating burn, his attention slipping back down to my perfect little Toebeans (who was beautiful just the way he was, by the way).

“May I?” he suddenly asked.

It took me a second to understand what he meant. “Uh… you can try,” I said carefully. “He’s usually not that great with strangers, though. Especially men.”

Adrien ignored my warnings and stepped right past me.

I shut the door and leaned against it with my arms crossed, a smirk playing at the corners of my mouth.

This should be interesting.

Toebeans was going to get so many treats when he inevitably scratched the hell out of Adrien’s stupid face. We liked to encourage good behavior.

And, in my defense, I’d warned Adrien. It wasn’t my fault he chose not to listen.

Adrien sunk down into a squat and held out an inviting hand. “Hello,” he cooed. His voice was so gentle and soft that I reeled a bit, watching as Toebeans slowly approached him and sniffed his fingers.

I held my breath, waiting for the incoming hiss and swipe of an angry grey paw.

Except… it didn’t come. Instead, Toebeans leaned a satisfied cheek right into Adrien’s open palm and happily accepted the pets and scratches that followed.

My mouth popped open.

“You’re so soft,” Adrien praised, fingers continuing to scritch and scratch. “And such a good boy.”

The only thing I could do was stand there and stare as Toebeans started to purr, moving closer and closer to Adrien until he was practically puddled on his lap.

And then Adrien picked him up. And cuddled him. Right to his chest.

And Toebeans let him! The stupid cat melted right into his embrace!

What the hell?

My jaw was hanging all the way open now. Not that either of them noticed.

“You’re going to get cat hair all over your suit,” I pointed out to Adrien because he clearly hadn’t thought that part through. “He sheds like crazy.”

But instead of putting the cat down, Adrien nuzzled him closer. “What’s his name?”

I could honestly say that I’d never been more shocked in my life. Ever.

“Um…” I swallowed, giving my head a quick shake. “Toe—uh, his name is Toebeans Maguire.”

I didn’t know why I stuttered. My brain felt a little fuzzy, and something had started whirling in my chest, sending color to my cheeks.

Adrien rasped an entirely too-soft chuckle, his warm gaze glued to the loud purring machine attached to his broad chest.

Chest—just chest. Not broad.

Sorry.

Who are you apologizing to?

“Clever,” he said. “I’m assuming you didn’t come up with it?”

Fucking rude.

The whirling grew, shooting more heat through my body. Jamie had come up with the name, so he was right, but I wasn’t going to admit it out loud.

Plus, Toebeans was purring so loudly now that Adrien wouldn’t have been able to hear me anyway.

I glared at the two of them, my fingers curling into fists as Adrien nuzzled, scratched, and murmured the sweetest little praises to the shameless traitor in his arms.

“I have a roommate!” I blurted. Because watching their interaction was doing things to me that I didn’t understand, and I really needed it to stop now.

Adrien finally—finally—managed to peel his eyes away from Toebeans and look at me.

The gentle and warm affection coating his features burned to a hard crisp the second his gaze met mine. “What?”

“I have a roommate,” I said again. “That I brought with me. Here. Without telling you. Toebeans is her cat.”

Was it just in my head or was my voice all puffy?

“Jamie, you can come out now!” I called loudly, sounding a bit too manic even to my own ears.

Adrien kept his hard glare pinned to my face as Jamie reluctantly stepped into the living room. His fingers never stopped moving, though, and Toebeans never stopped purring.

I hated it so much I didn’t know what to do with myself.

“Hey,” Jamie said awkwardly, slipping her hands into her back pockets. She shot me a questioning look, likely having heard the whole conversation from her room.

I nudged my head toward her cat. It was all the explanation she’d need.

Sure enough, her eyes flared when the realization hit her, her jaw falling completely slack as she watched Toebeans—or should I say Hoebeans—rub his stupid, fat, adorable head against Adrien’s jaw. He and I were officially in a fight. I’d never felt so thoroughly betrayed in my life.

“Hello,” Adrien said to Jamie, offering her a friendly smile.

I didn’t know he could do that. The friendly smile thing.

“Hey,” she said again, her brows pulling and pushing and twitching with a mixture of confusion and panic. “I’m, um, sorry if this is an intrusion. I was just… a little concerned about Ria’s safety and...”

But Adrien was already shrugging. “It’s all right. There’s no need for you to apologize. It wasn’t your job to let me know.”

The heat in my cheeks spread, crawling down to my neck, my chest.

Jamie offered him a warm smile of her own before gesturing at her cat. “He really likes you. He’s never like this with strangers.”

“He’s yours?” Adrien asked, his broad form turning to fully face her. She nodded, which seemed to please him. “And the name was your idea, then?”

Another nod and he shot her a charming, dimpled grin. “It suits him.”

I couldn’t tell if she actually was blushing or if I was just seeing red all around. “Yeah. He used to climb everything when he was a kitten, including walls and stuff, so it seemed appropriate.”

He held out his hand. “I’m Adrien, by the way.”

She took it. “Jamie.”

Dimples. “It’s lovely to meet you, Jamie.”

Another smile. “Likewise. And you’re welcome to come play with Toebeans anytime you want,” she offered, which nope. “I’m honestly shocked… I’ve never seen him like this with anyone but me and Ria. He really loves you.”

Nope.

Nope nope nope.

“I might actually take you up on that. He’s very sweet,” Adrien murmured before placing a few quick kisses right behind the cat’s stupid, fat, adorable left ear.

Jamie melted, her eyes turning all googly.

The whirling in my chest exploded as the next two years of my life flashed before my eyes, twisting in my stomach like a corkscrew. Jamie and Adrien’s first date. Their second. Their one-year anniversary. The surprise proposal in the Bahamas.

Nope nope nope nope nope nope nope.

This wasn’t happening. I wasn’t going to be the maid of honor at their wedding and watch Toebeans trot down the aisle in a bowtie, wedding rings attached to his stupid, fat, adorable tail.

Nope.

“What do you want?” The words practically hurled out of my mouth, way too quick and way too loud. I had to physically stop myself from shoving my body right between them.

Adrien shot me another glare. “Pardon?” he snapped, challenging my tone.

Jamie bit down on her cheek, trying not to laugh. Though I didn’t know which part of this she found funny.

“Adrien, would you like something to drink?” she asked him sweetly. “We haven’t had a chance to go out for groceries yet, but I can make tea if you’d like.”

The tension in Adrien’s whole body softened as his attention turned back to her. It was like an On and Off switch with him. “No, thank you. I just came by to give Ria her schedule.”

“You couldn’t have emailed it to me?” I didn’t have his contact information yet, but he had mine.

“We start our day early tomorrow,” he said.

“You could have put that in your email, too.”

Adrien cocked his head. “Yes, I could have. But I’m not entirely convinced that [email protected] is your real email address so I decided to stop by and confirm it.”

Jamie had to suck her lips into her mouth to stop from laughing.

I lifted a shoulder. “I needed a new work email. It’s not like I was going to give you my personal one.”

Also, I wasa new mod for his hate club. I’d applied for it earlier this week.

He didn’t seem phased by my answer. “You’ll meet me downstairs at four tomorrow.”

“Fine,” I said. “Now g— Wait, four in the morning?”

His little smirk was so sinister and evil, it was almost cartoonish. “You’ll be joining me on my morning run. I need someone to carry my water bottle.”

First of all, what kind of twisted masochist willingly started their day that early? Second of all, “I don’t run.”

“Oh no, I know. You spend eight light minutes on the elliptical, do a few weighted squats, then treat yourself to a coconut smoothie that weighs twice as much as the dumbbells you do your squats with. I’ve seen the security footage.”

Jamie slapped a palm to her mouth, but the snort escaped anyway.

She and I were also officially in a fight.

“Fine,” I seethed. “Anything else?”

“Yeah. Get a new email address and lose the fucking attitude.”

My jaw was clenched so tight it hurt. “Your wish is my command, boss.”

Adrien grinned. It wasn’t nearly as warm or genuine as the one Jamie had been given. “Let’s go with ‘sir’, shall we? I like the sound of that better.”

Jamie was crying. The effort it was taking to hold back her squeaks of laughter was making her eyes leak.

I hated them both. But mostly Adrien. His face. Overly broad shoulders. The amount of space he occupied. The way he breathed. His ridiculous dimples.

“Great. Anything else?” I ground out.

He raised two expectant brows. I hated those, too.

His entire existence pissed me off.

I counted backward from five Mississippi. “Is there anything else you need from me, sir?”

I was going to vomit. Right now, right here. Right on the brown loafers he hadn’t bothered to take off before entering the apartment.

“Nope. Not now,” he said casually, dismissing me with a wave like he was the ruling fucking monarch.

He offered Toebeans a few more praises and kisses, told Jamie (again) how nice it was to meet her, then left without so much as another brief glance in my direction.

“Wow,” Jamie said once the door was closed. “That was…”

I whipped around, my finger pointed right at her face. “You!” I hissed. “What the hell was that?”

But before she could answer, Hoebeans slithered between my legs, stillpurring. He sounded like a fucking motorboat.

“Shut up, slut!” I yelled at his stupid, fat, adorable face.

“Wow,” Jamie said again.

I narrowed my eyes at her. “Have you ever seen him act like that? With anyone?”

Jamie had to press her lips together again to stop from smiling. “Mhhmm. Yup. Lots of really surprising, unusual behavior all around.”

Which reminded me. “And you,” I hissed again, repointing my finger at her stupid, symmetrical, beautiful face. “Mark my words, Jamie Paquin, I will notbe attending your and Adrien’s destination wedding. I don’t care how much you cry and beg. I do not approve.”

She blinked at me like I’d lost my mind. Like it had literally fallen out of my skull and splattered onto the floor in front of her. “Wow.”

I stepped away from Toebeans who was continuing to rub his—and Adrien’s—scent all over my legs. “I cannot believe you two. I’ve never felt so disrespected in my life. For shame, you guys. For shame.”

Jamie crossed her arms, her entire face lit with amusement. “So he, like, reallygets under your skin, huh?”

Where had she been the entirety of this last week? How was this news to her?

“He’s Satan personified, Jamie. The man’s got a stick so far up his ass that it’s stabbed clean through the part of his brain that’s responsible for keeping his ego in check. What do you think?”

She shrugged, lips quirking. “To be honest, he doesn’t seem that bad. I got good vibes, and Toebeans obviously loves him. He’s way nicer than you made him sound… kind of funny, too.”

I blinked at her. “You’re talking about Adrien… the arrogant gargoyle that was just in here, demanding that I refer to him as ‘sir’ from now on?”

What was the point of pressing her lips together like that when her smile always leaked through anyway?

“He’s a lot better-looking in person, too,” she said. “And taller. He also smells really nice.”

I snapped my fingers at her. “No.”

“I’m just saying, he smells like he’d be really good at sex.”

My neck was breaking out in hives. “What the fuck does that even mean?”

“I feel like it’s pretty self-explanatory. And based on the whole ‘sir’ thing, I bet he’s into some really kinky stuff.” She wiggled her brows at me. “I definitely got a vibe.”

Gross. Let’s fucking hope we never find out.

“I’m never going to approve. You can do a billion times better than that human mosquito bite. I will fight you every step of the way on this.”

Her whole mouth was shaking now.

“Oh my god, whatis so fucking funny?”

She shook her head and bit back another laugh. “I’m just saying… there’s a slight chance that emotions are running high, and that you may have misjudged him. Just a little bit.”

That wasn’t even close to being in the realm of possibility.

“Maybe you should come on the run with us tomorrow,” I offered her sweetly. “We can start talking about how nice and funny he is as soon as we wake up. It’ll be such fun!”

She rolled her smiling lips. “Touché.”

Toebeans placed a paw on my knee, pleading his case with soft meows.

“Find somewhere else to sleep tonight,” I told him coldly before walking to my room and slamming the door.

That’ll teach him.

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