Ambushed by M.E. McAndrews
Chapter 6
Olivia
solemn place, its gravestones dotted across the cold stone of the earth and its spirits whispering softly in the wind. I stand alone, a solitary figure in a sea of emptiness, my black dress fluttering in the breeze. Only Seth’s two closest friends from his weekly Poker game, Jimmy and Rob, showed up, and now that they’ve gone, I’m the only one left to say goodbye, the last goodbye to my beloved husband.
I stare at the freshly filled open grave in front of me. Now, it’s just me.
The dark earth is a stark contrast against the bright green grass. Seth lies inside, his body as cold as my soul. I feel like someone has ripped my heart out of my chest. The sound of the shovels tossing dirt onto the casket still echoes in my ears. I feel numb and empty, like a shell of my former self. The man I loved and shared my life with is now six feet in the ground. I'm not sure how I'm supposed to move on from this. A warm tear rolls down my cheek, and I quickly wipe it away. The cold wind whips stray strands of my shoulder-length dark hair, and I shiver, wishing I’d brought a warmer sweater.
But I hadn’t planned to stay this late.
The sight of his grave makes my heart ache and tears fill my eyes again. I try to hold them back, but they come anyway, overflowing and streaming down my face.
I take a deep breath and try to steady myself, knowing I need to say goodbye, but the words get stuck in my throat. I close my eyes and try to picture Seth's face in my mind. I see him laughing, his eyes crinkling at the corners, and I feel a rush of emotion.
“Seth,” I whisper, my voice barely audible. “I love you always. I'll miss you.” Tears stream down my face and I can't stop them. I stand here for a long time as the sun sets, bathing the cemetery in its soft orange glow.
I wipe my eyes frantically.
The police called me several days ago. ‘His death was ruled a suicide’, they said, but their words offered no comfort. They were judgmental, even. Blaming him for his own death.
I refuse to believe it. He had a plan. He was going to write more and then we were going to be okay. My eyes flick up toward the sky, where heavy clouds are beginning to roll in.
“What the hell happened, Seth? Please. Just give me some sort of sign… something!” The cool wind rustles through the shaking leaves overhead. I blink away the remaining tears.
“Was he your husband?” a soft voice asks from behind me. I turn to see a tall lovely woman standing beside me. She has long, platinum blonde hair down to her waist, and striking, almond-shaped eyes. She's wearing a long flowing dress that seems to glow in the evening sunlight beneath a black shawl. There’s a sadness in her expression, one mixed with understanding.
“Yes,” I whisper with a half-smile.
“It’s strange how the world keeps moving around us, even when our own world has come to a sudden stop.”
I nod, not sure how to respond. I look down at the headstone and take a deep breath. “He was my husband. And my best friend, too.”
Her soft gaze follows mine, both of us looking at the fresh grave.
“I’m still not sure if I’ll ever be able to move on after losing my love,” the woman sighs. “It was sudden and unexpected, he wasn’t even seventy. I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to forgive myself for not spending more time with him in the last few days before he was gone. I still remember his smile and laughter. But most of all, I miss being able to hold him.”
She looks at me, and I find admiration for the strength I see in her eyes.
“It gets easier.” She steps closer to me. “You’re not going through this alone. You’ll find a way to deal with this, and you’ll learn to live a happy life again. We’re stronger than we realize. It’s in our nature.” She smiles softly.
My eyes burn with fresh tears. “You’re the first person to come by,” I whisper, blinking away the tears and forcing myself to continue. The air becomes cold and heavy, and I shiver, wrapping my arms around myself. I search for words, but I’m lost.
“I’m sorry,” I say, my voice shaking.
She smiles and reaches out, taking my hand in hers. I’m surprised by the heat that radiates from her palm. “Don’t be. You’re going to be okay. Each day you’ll learn how to move forward. It’s going to take some time. You’ll adjust, and you’ll be okay.” She looks up and I can see the tears brimming in her big, brown eyes. I let out a deep sigh and nod. It’s clear she has also suffered a substantial loss recently.
“Thank you,” I whisper. This stranger’s words and her presence comfort me, and I breathe a sigh of relief. I hadn’t realized how tense I was. My muscles relax, and for the first time in days, I feel like I can breathe.
She squeezes my hand and then releases it. She opens her mouth to say something, but then stops. She looks straight ahead for a moment, and then back at me. Her voice is soft when she speaks again. “It will be a painful journey ahead, but it will also be an exciting one. I promise.” She looks up at the sky, her thin lips curling at the corners. “My name is Bella, by the way.”
“Olivia,” I respond, pressing my hand to my chest.
“Sorry. I hope you don't mind me interrupting you. I just noticed you here alone. Reminded me of myself.”
“Please. Don't apologize.”
“And as for Seth,” she continues, as if I hadn't said anything. “He’ll always be with you as long as you let him. How long were you married?”
“Five years.”
She brushes a few strands of hair that the wind blows into her face. “That’s just not enough time.”
“Yeah. He died on our anniversary.”
Neither one of us says anything for a moment, but having someone here, even if it is a stranger, eases my pain a bit.
The last of the sunlight drops behind the horizon. I take a deep breath, letting the air out slowly as I turn away from the grave. “Leaving him here,” I try to find the words. “It feels wrong.”
“It will, until it doesn't.” She shakes her head. “I know that's not really helpful, but what if you have a friend walk with you?” She gives me a soft smile.
“I’d appreciate it, a lot.”
After a few more minutes standing together in silence, stars peek through the darkening sky, and I finally build up the courage to leave him behind. I turn back toward Seth’s grave and mouth the words “I love you” one last time before turning to walk. My new friend follows, and we walk together in silence through the cemetery toward my car. Though, my heart aches at the thought of leaving.
Bella hugs me before I get into my car, and a sense of comfort washes over me. “Thank you for coming over to talk to me. It helped me so much, I really needed that.”
“Of course. I could see that you were alone, and I wanted to make sure you were okay. Do you think you’ll be okay by yourself?”
“Yeah. I'll be alright.”
“Well, maybe we can get together again later, possibly grab a cup of coffee or something? At least, in a more cheerful venue.”
I smile with a sense of relief. “Yes, that sounds nice.”
She hands me her phone. “Go ahead and text yourself your name so I've got your number! And you’ll have mine.”
“Sure.” I punch a few keys, and moments later my phone vibrates in my pocket.
“I think maybe it was fate that I came here today,” Bella says. “I normally don't believe in that sort of stuff, but who knows.” She grins. “Are you sure you'll be alright?”
I shrug. “I'm going to have to be.”
She pouts her lip, tilting her head. “Well, seriously. Reach out, okay? Don't hesitate. I'll come see you or we can grab a drink, something. Whatever you need. You'll be glad for the company.”
I hug her again, surprised by the relief that gushes through me. “I'm glad I saw you here today. I'll be sure to reach out if I need to.”
“Take care of yourself, okay?” She waves goodbye.
I wave back and get into my car. The darkness surrounds me for a moment. I squeeze my eyes shut and take a deep breath, then drive slowly away from the cemetery.
On the way home, a gust of wind blows through the trees and a light rain begins to fall. The streetlights in downtown flicker on one by one as I drive, signaling the beginning of the end of a long and sad day.
When I pull up to my house, I'm filled with a bittersweet sensation. On one hand, it's nice to be home after such an emotionally draining day—but on the other, I still haven't gotten used to the silence.
When I pull into my driveway, I get out of my car and take a deep breath.
There is a bouquet on the front porch. The flower arrangement is filled with white roses, blue hydrangeas, purple freesias, and yellow buttercups. I open the card. They're from Austin Blackwater’s company. That bastard. Anger rises in me. I grasp the bouquet in my hand and with a sharp motion, hurl it into the open trash bin. I hear the satisfying sound of the glass vase crashing against metal as I slam the door shut behind me.