Lessons in Sin by Pam Godwin

CHAPTER 34

TINSLEY

Ifelt him in the hinterland between slumber and awareness. I felt his breath in the juncture between my neck and shoulder. I felt his lips in the rivulets of warm sunlight on my face.

Then I felt him ripping away.

The agony of his leaving came with a gnawing coldness that invaded every nerve, organ, and bone in my body. The instinct to chase him was enormous, but I fought it. I let him go without screaming and sobbing and demanding he stay just one more day.

I’d been so angry with him when I fell asleep last night. But this morning, I felt nothing but harrowing grief.

He was doing the right thing. The noble thing. He was protecting me, protectingus, and it hurt him as much as it hurt me.

I refused to make this harder than it already was.

So when he quietly, tenderly kissed me goodbye, I held still and pretended to sleep. I stayed in bed as he slipped out of the room. I didn’t make a sound until the front door shut and his car motored away.

Air heaved in and out of my lungs, fast and heavy, the pain gathering and building until I couldn’t contain it. When I finally let it out, it poured in an avalanche of ugly sobbing tears.

Other than the mornings he’d left me in bed sleeping while he attended Sunday Mass at the small church in town, we’d been inseparable. Having spent every second with him for the past two weeks, I’d grown accustomed to his company. I’d grown to depend on it and need him in a way I’d never needed another person.

I still had five months left with him. But I would never be with him in the way we’d been in this cabin in the mountains. He was going back to be a priest, a teacher. And I would return as his student, a Constantine heiress, and the future wife of Tucker Kensington.

He’d told me to trust him, and I did. I trusted he would do everything he could to change my fate. But he wouldn’t change my mother’s mind. She would have him killed if he so much as mentioned he was interested in me.

He would already be dead if she knew he’d fucked me.

As the bed grew colder in his absence, I crawled out and got ready for the day. Then I cleaned the cabin, visited the beavers, and packed up my belongings.

It was late afternoon when I found myself sitting at the table, out of distractions, and missing him with every broken beat of my heart.

How was I going to see him every day and not touch him? How would I look into his eyes and not kiss him? How would I sleep in my dorm without his arms around me?

The only consolation was in knowing that I would spend every day with him until I graduated. Even if it was only on a professional level. We still had time. I had time to find a way to escape my mother’s plans. Maybe one of my brothers could help me. I wasn’t giving up.

I ran my fingers over the tennis bracelet on my wrist. At some point last month, Magnus had sneaked the broken jewelry out of my room and had it repaired. He gave it to me on Christmas morning along with an e-reader loaded with books. Dozens of books, manuals, and journals on every aspect of launching and running a business, as well as step-by-step guides to starting an animal rescue.

He’d done all of this before we’d had sex. He’d done it because he cared about me.

Did he love me?

We hadn’t talked about that. We never said the words, even though I’d felt them every goddamn time I looked at him.

It was for the best.

But sitting here obsessing over him wasn’t for the best, so I decided to go on a hike. As I pulled on my boots, the sound of an approaching car reached my ears.

I froze, listening. Had Magnus returned?

My heart hurtled to my throat as I raced to the window.

A black luxury sedan emerged on the road amid the trees. Not Magnus.

I recognized the make and model. My mother always commissioned the same kind of car.

Blood pounded in my ears, and every ounce of warmth drained from my body.

My mother was here.

In Maine.

At the cabin that belonged to Magnus.

She knew.

She fucking knew.

My first instinct was to run. Hide. But I had to see who was in that car. Was my mother alone? Or had she sent someone in her place? My brothers? Her assistant?

As I waited for the car to park, I stood out of view of the window, my brain running on overdrive.

She was here to retrieve me. Of that I had no doubt. But how did she know where to find me? Who told her? Did she know Magnus was at the school? Or was she hoping to catch us here together?

I had to play this cool. I would tell her he’d given me the keys and let me stay here by myself during the break. Or I could just not open the door at all. I could pretend no one was here.

My head pounded with tension as the passenger door opened. My heart stopped as Ronan climbed out.

The henchman.

“No, no, no.” My muscles locked up, and everything inside me went numb.

Ronan only showed up when someone needed to be killed.

Thank fuck Magnus wasn’t here. But it would only take seconds for Ronan to learn that and head to the school to finish the job there.

Tremors started in my chest and worked their way to my legs.

Think, Tinsley. Think.

A second pair of shoes stepped out of the car. I didn’t breathe until I saw my brother’s face.

Keaton would’ve been my first choice, but he’d already flown back to Europe.

It was Perry. My second choice. He might’ve been a spoiled mama’s boy, but he was a thousand times more forgiving than my oldest brother, Winston. With Perry, I had a chance to plead my case. But first, I had to figure out what he knew.

I stayed out of view as he strode to the door with Ronan on his heels.

The Irish henchman rested a hand on his hip beneath his suit jacket, his fingers against the gun holster as his eyes probed the surrounding woods.

Perry pounded a fist on the door.

I didn’t move, didn’t breathe.

“Tinsley!” He knocked again. “I know you’re in there. Open up or we’re breaking in.”

Fucking shit.

I closed my eyes. Drew a deep breath. Then I crossed the room and let him in.

“Hey!” I hid my nerves beneath a smile. “What are you doing here?”

“You know why I’m here.” He pushed past me, his blue eyes flashing with a rare glimpse of rage as he scanned the room. “Where is that son of a bitch?”

“Who?”

Ronan breezed by and disappeared in the bedroom.

“The priest.” Perry spun toward me and cupped my face, his expression twisted in horror. “Tinsley. God. What has that motherfucker done to you?”

“If you’re talking about Father Magnus, he was kind enough to let me stay at his cabin.” I stepped back from his touch, arranging my features in a mask of confusion. “Why? What’s going on?”

“He’s not here.” Ronan emerged from the back room.

“Where did he go?” Perry squinted at me.

“How the fuck would I know? I’ve been hanging out here since Christmas.”

“Except you told us you were at the school, hanging out with friends.”

“I thought you would all freak the fuck out because I was staying out here in the woods alone.” I crossed my arms. “Guess I was right.”

“No, Tins. We freaked the fuck out because of this.” He tapped his phone screen and held it in front of my face.

My throat closed.

He had a photo of Magnus and me right outside the cabin door. It was taken yesterday after our morning hike. We hadn’t made it inside before we tore at each other’s clothes. He’d fucked me on the porch against the house in the freezing cold. Best outdoor winter sex ever.

And my brother had a picture of it on his phone.

It was captured from far enough away that our nude parts were blurry, but there was no mistaking where Magnus’s cock was buried.

“Who took that photo?” The question scraped past my dry lips.

“Where’s the priest?”

“I’m not telling you shit until I know who was spying on me and why.”

He pocketed his phone. “Ulrich took the pictures.”

Our private investigator.

“Why was he following me?” I asked.

“Nevada Hildebrand contacted Mom a week ago and said she thought something was going on between you and your teacher.”

“Of course, she did, that selfish, jealous, filthy fucking whore.”

“Jesus, Tinsley.” He stared at me like he didn’t recognize his own sister. “What’s happening to you?”

“Let me get this straight. Mother believed Nevada’s allegations and sent Ulrich to Maine to investigate? I assume there are more photos where that came from?”

“Yes and yes.”

“Who’s seen them?”

“Mom and me. And Ulrich.”

“Not Keaton or Winny?”

“No. She wants to keep this as quiet as possible.”

No scandals.

Perry was her favorite child, her charming, agreeable boy. He was only twenty-one, but she trusted him to deal with the press and smooth over any bad publicity. So it was no surprise she’d sent him to retrieve me and stop me from making a scene while Ronan did the dirty work.

The henchman stood near the front door, tracking our conversation. Dark hair, dark whiskers, blue eyes, muscles in all the right places—Ronan might’ve been handsome if he weren’t so goddamn scary.

“Have you seen the photos?” I asked him.

“No.”

“But you’re prepared to kill a priest because my mother ordered it?”

His glare probably sent a lot of necks shriveling into shoulders. But he wouldn’t get any hunching or cowering from me. I had a lot of practice dealing with growly, glare-y men.

“Wait outside.” I motioned at the door.

At Perry’s nod, Ronan left, taking all the murderous air with him.

If I were facing my mother right now, I would concoct some sort of haphazard plan to save Magnus’s life. But this was Perry. He was nurturing and protective and usually laid-back. The best approach with my brother was the truth.

“I love him.”

His eyes bulged. “The priest?”

“Yes. I love Magnus.”

“Oh, Tins. You think you do but—”

“Don’t you dare Oh, Tins me.” Frustration steamed from my pores. “I’m not a child, and I’m not a fucking moron. I’m smart, Perry. Smart enough to know who I fucking love.”

“Okay.” He held his hands up, trying to placate me. “Calm down.”

“I can’t. You know why? Because if anything happens to him, it will destroy me. Do you understand? I will not survive it.”

“Why? Why him?”

“He sees me and understands me. He accepts me and defends me.”

I paced through the room as the words rushed out. I told him how awful I was when I first came to Sion Academy, how I plotted to get expelled and put Magnus through months of hell. I told him how Magnus helped me with the opossums and cleaned up my blood at the Winter Formal. I explained how he kept his hands to himself for months and fought the pull we both felt down to our souls.

“He would jump in front of a bullet for me.” My insides quivered with fear. “And I would do the same for him.”

“Fucking hell.” He raked his hands through his hair. “We don’t have a lot of options here. We can’t lose this Kensington deal. The Morellis are closing in, taking over everything around us. We need assets, resources. We need the Kensington holdings.”

“If that’s what this is about, why do you need to eliminate Magnus?”

“If he talks, if the Kensingtons find out you’re mixed up with your teacher—”

“Magnus won’t talk. He has his own career to protect.”

“Does he love you?”

My heart stuttered. “I don’t know.”

“If he loves you, he’ll screw up this deal. I’m sorry, Tins. We have to take him out.”

I had one shot at this, one chance, one time to turn up, do what was right, own it, and protect the man I loved.

“Take me to the school. I’ll fix this without bloodshed.” My stomach sank to my feet. “Then I’ll marry Tucker Kensington.”