The Heartbreaker of Echo Pass by Maisey Yates

CHAPTER TWENTY

ITWASHERvery first day open, and she was... Not nervous. She had everything ready to go. Most of her stock she’d been able to make ahead, and some of it she had prepared from dough that morning. Everything was set out, and looking beautiful. The display cases were full of cookies, all colors. Pinks, lavender, yellow, green, regular chocolate chip, chunky varieties that were filled with nuts and fruit. There was cake, pie. A rack filled with bread. It was a superhuman effort, and she was incredibly proud of it.

What had really surprised her was when Griffin had come downstairs, freshly showered, come into the kitchen, put on an apron and asked what he could do to help.

It was almost comical. He was a superior specimen of masculinity, an absolute god of testosterone, and the apron was... Well, that black apron over his broad chest, tied over his slim waist, was legitimately one of the sexiest things she’d ever seen. He hefted trays in and out of the oven, brought in new stock. She wasn’t incredibly hard-hit, it was a weekday, after all, and Gold Valley only had the usual foot traffic, as tourism wouldn’t really pick up for another couple of weeks. But there were people, and they were very excited to have a bakery back in town. Living above it would mean that Iris could devote time to simply being there. In her opinion, the previous bakery hadn’t lasted because their hours had been very uncertain and strange. She intended to provide stability, and to fling herself into it, and given the deal Griffin was giving her, her overhead was so low it was nearly unrealistic.

The enthusiasm of the place... That was what truly fueled her.

The looks on people’s faces when they saw the brightly colored goodies. She tied up several pink boxes and put little Cookie Jar stickers over the top of them, filling them to the brim with cookies, cupcakes and muffins. She had a lot of discussions with people about her refrigerator meals, and quite a few people ended up taking some home for that night.

The door opened, and Sammy entered first, Ryder holding it open for her. She had baby Astrid on her hip, and was grinning.

“Iris,” she said. “This is absolutely stunning.”

“Thank you,” Iris said.

“This is really something else,” Ryder said.

“I want one of everything,” Sammy said, waving her free hand.

“You literally get free treats from me all the time. And anyway, whatever people don’t buy, I’ll be boxing up and sending to you.”

“Not if I buy it first,” Sammy said.

Griffin chose that moment to come in from the back. Looking delicious and bearded, and very obviously who he was.

“Hi,” Ryder said, eyeing the other man. “You must be Griffin.”

“And you must be Ryder.” Griffin didn’t miss a beat. He reached out and shook Ryder’s hand, leaning over the counter to do so.

“Guilty as charged. So you’re...” Ryder lifted a brow. “Protecting your investments?”

“Assisting. With whatever she needs. Though, it’s not much. She’s pretty much got this locked down.”

“She’s brilliant,” Ryder said.

“I agree.”

Ryder sized Griffin up. Iris half expected the words what are your intentions toward my sister to come out of her brother’s mouth. But thankfully, they didn’t.

“How’s business been?”

“Great,” Iris said. “Honestly, considering it’s not the grand opening, and we just turned the sign, much better than I expected. I’m hoping that this Saturday is really amazing. I’m going to set up a table outside and give away free sugar cookies.”

“Well, we’ll all be there with bells on. Whatever you need.”

She wrinkled her nose. “For you not to wear bells?”

“No. Definitely coming in bells. Maybe only bells.”

“Please no.”

“All right. I’ll behave. Can’t promise anything for Sammy, though.”

“I never behave,” Sammy said. “Not if I can help it.”

“Hey,” Ryder said. “What time you closing up shop here?”

“Oh, probably about five.”

“Well, it just so happens that we were going to barbecue a rack of ribs over at the house. You should come.”

“Oh, well...”

“You should both come,” Ryder said, looking directly at Griffin.

“Both of us,” Iris said.

“Yeah. I think it would be nice if I got to know your boyfriend.”

“He’s...”

“Always up for ribs,” Griffin said. “Then we’ll see you tonight around six. Don’t bother to bring dessert. Sammy’s buying one of everything.”

She wrapped up the desserts for her brother and Sammy, and tried not to react to what had just happened. It was horribly uncomfortable, the idea of Griffin spending an inordinate amount of time with her family. After all, they were... They had just spent all last night...

Well, when she thought about where he had his mouth...

And then thinking about him being anywhere near her family... She didn’t know how people did that.

Rose and Logan had sneaked around. How had they managed? She really didn’t quite know.

“I can hear you thinking,” Griffin said.

“You don’t have to come to my family’s house tonight. I mean... Ryder was being nosy. Intrusive.”

“Polite. And I would like to go to your family’s house.”

“Why?”

He paused for a moment. “They’re important to you. They are an important part of who you are. Anyway, I haven’t been to anything like that in a long time.”

“And you’re... Okay with that?”

He nodded. “I’m starting to realize something, Iris. The real tragedy of going through something like I did is that you don’t want to heal. Because it doesn’t feel right. I’ve been avoiding getting better, because I thought it would be a disservice to them. I’m still struggling with that, I’m not going to lie to you. Because I keep telling myself maybe this is just easier than staying secluded. Maybe I’m taking some kind of easy route. But then... This isn’t easy. It’s not. But I need to do it, and I want to. Because it’s not living that does them a disservice, it’s refusing to live well when they’re not here to do it themselves. What kind of attribute is it to shut yourself away?”

“Griffin... Well, I’m glad for you then.”

“I think I can handle your family. Don’t you worry about me.”

“I don’t know. They’re a bit much.”

“Who haven’t I met?”

“Colt and Jake. My cousins. Officially, two of the biggest, brashest idiots in the world. At least, that’s my opinion.”

“What makes them idiots?”

“Bull riders.”

“As in, rodeo bull riders?”

“Yes. They’re definitely... Well, they’re definitely them.” She shook her head. “But anyone who thinks to themselves that throwing themselves on the back of an eight hundred pound animal and getting flung around is a good idea is pretty much half-cocked.”

“I think I’ll like them.”

“You probably will.”

“You don’t have to worry about me,” he said. “I could have said no if I didn’t want to go.”

“Right. About what he said. The boyfriend thing, I...”

He turned to face her, gripped her chin, his eyes blazing into hers. “Iris,” he said. “I’m not running scared. Don’t worry.”

“I’m not worried.” It was a lie, though.

This had been so clear in her head. Friends. Two people helping each other. Not one person with heavy feelings wishing, working, for the other person to feel the same.

No.

The problem with things like this, the problem with helping was that it was so easy to confuse it with love. That the way you were appreciated, and someone else appreciating you was...enough.

But it was a one-way street. And it was never enough.

And when you weren’t needed, people moved on. “I just didn’t want you to think I was trying to trap you,” she said. “We both know this is...friendship. I know you love your wife.”

“Of course I do,” he said, his voice fracturing. He looked like he didn’t know quite what to say. “You matter to me, though.”

She’d mattered to a lot of people. She’d helped a lot of people. It was a good thing, a good feeling.

As long as she didn’t want more.

“I just wanted to make sure you knew that I...that I know what this is.”

He huffed a laugh. “Do you? Because I’m not sure I do.”

Her heart twisted and she reached out and touched his face. “We’re helping each other.”

And she smiled even though she sort of wanted to cry.

HOPE SPRINGS RANCHwas beautiful. There was a wooden sign above the entry of the driveway, with horses and words proclaiming the name. It sat off the main highway, backed by forests and mountains, wild and beautiful, with a farmhouse that avoided being too pristine, a whole passel of dogs and horses out in every pasture.

This was where she had grown up. With siblings, and no parents for a time, a group of kids all depending on the land then each other.

It fascinated him that she had come out of it as she was. As determined and pure as she was. She wasn’t cynical. She wasn’t angry. She wasn’t filled with hatred or bitterness. At every turn, Iris was incredible to him.

Though, she was clearly finding his invitation to her family’s house problematic. So that could just be because she didn’t really love the idea of her being around his family. Which he could understand.

He thought about his parents, back in the Bay Area. And he wondered what they would think of Iris. What Mallory would think of her.

His dad had a way of cutting down to the heart of things, and he would like how Iris was no-nonsense in her way. His mom would like how she cooked and cared for things.

Mallory would like her.

Mallory was a practical girl, even if her taste in men had always been kind of suspect. Well, her taste in one man. Granted, she never talked to him about Jared, so he didn’t really know where the two of them stood these days. But that was just because Mallory knew better than to bring him up.

Griffin was not a fan. Not in the least.

It was clear Mallory didn’t care all that much about Griffin’s opinion. If she did, she wouldn’t have been trapped in a fifteen year, off-and-on relationship with a man she had once insisted to him she was fated to be with.

For all that Griffin wasn’t best friends with fate, or the concept of it, he didn’t think—if the concept was real—it was actually his brilliant, driven sister’s fate to end up cohabitating with a guy who rarely had a job and who seemed to consider commitment flexible.

He wondered what Iris would say about that. And then he felt guilty. That he was going to spend time with her family when he had spent so long ignoring his own. But he didn’t have a place to invite them to in town. He supposed, though, they could stay at the bed-and-breakfast at the end of Main Street. An old Victorian, that was run by an elderly woman whose biscuits were famous about town.

If Mallory could get a break from the clinic. His parents had retired long ago and he knew they could come whenever.

Was he really planning ways for Iris to meet his family?

He stopped his truck in front of the house, staring at it.

“You can still turn back,” Iris said.

“No,” he said. “Not remotely tempted to. I was promised barbecue. So I’ll have it.”

They were greeted enthusiastically by the dogs when they got out of the truck, and Iris patted them while professing annoyance.

“What’s the matter?”

“They know they’re annoying,” she said as they made their way up to the front porch.

“So this is your house.”

“It’s where I grew up, yes.”

“And lived until just recently.”

“Well, yes. I guess so.”

She opened the door, and they both walked in. The entryway was cluttered, and cheerful, the floors of the home scarred and well used. There was a leather couch that looked like it had been around since Iris’s childhood.

It was warm and cheerful, very different to the modern house his parents had. He and Mallory had been born so far apart that while they’d been close, the house hadn’t been filled with a lot of kid noise the way this one must have been.

“Everyone must already be outside.” They filtered through the house, and went out the back door and indeed, everyone was already in the backyard.

West, Logan, Pansy and Rose were sitting in lawn chairs. There were two men he hadn’t met before, and a teenage boy. Then, there was Sammy and Ryder, and the little baby they’d been holding yesterday.

“Hi,” Iris said.

Everybody turned to look at them, as if they were surprised to see them.

“I told you I invited them,” Ryder said.

“Hi,” Griffin said. “I’m Griffin Chance.”

The first man, tall and broad, stood up from the lawn chair and stuck his hand out. “Colt Daniels.”

The next one, just as tall and broad, and with similar features, stood also. “Jake Daniels.”

The kid, tall, but not at all broad, stood up. “Emmett Caldwell. West’s brother.”

“And the rest of us you met,” Ryder said.

Colt and Jake then moved and enveloped Iris in a group bear hug.

“Haven’t seen you yet,” Jake said, tugging at her ponytail.

“No,” Iris said, smoothing herself like an angry cat. “I’ve been busy.”

“Too busy to come see us?”

“Not on purpose,” she said.

“You’re going to be seeing a lot more of me,” Jake said. “I just bought a ranch up the way.”

“Did you?”

“Yep. Getting tired of living on the road. I figure it’s time to think about retiring. You get to your thirties in bull riding and start considering that stuff.”

“Not me,” Colt said.

“Yeah, just wait. You’re going to fall the wrong way one day and end up where I am. Realizing that your back has a shelf life.”

“I’m a full thirteen months younger than you. So, I’m good for a while.”

“The confidence of youth,” Jake said. “The grand opening of your bakery’s in a couple days, right? I want to make sure that I get there for that.”

“Yes,” Iris said. “It is.”

“Looking forward to it. You know, you’re the best cook I’ve ever known.”

“You’ve had very few people cook for you,” Iris said.

“Not true,” he said. “I’ve had any number of women cook me breakfast.”

“Liar,” Colt said. “You’re always out the door before breakfast.”

The corners of Jake’s mouth pulled down. “True.”

“See,” Iris said to Griffin. “Bull riders.”

“There’s some time before the meat gets done. And that means, we can play football.” That proclamation came from Ryder. And was met with both groans and enthusiastic sounds. Emmett was the most enthusiastic.

And was the most likely to get absolutely clobbered.

“Wait a minute, tell me about the football,” Griffin said to Iris.

“It’s Ryder’s first love, and he coaches the local high school team.”

“So, should I play?”

He couldn’t remember the last time he’d thrown a football around in a backyard. Maybe never? He wasn’t actually sure he knew how to play. He knew the rules from watching it, but...

“Yeah,” Ryder said. “Get in there. I’m obviously going to be judging what manner of man you are based on how well you do.”

He didn’t doubt that. Not for one second.

“All right,” Ryder said. “Men, in positions.”

Griffin got an assignment given to him from Ryder, and took it, the teams were divided up haphazardly and the game commenced. The full-scale violence surprised Griffin, but he found that he enjoyed it. Who would’ve thought. Pink iced sugar cookies in a violent backyard game of football.

It was entirely possible that Ryder was trying to kill him for sleeping with his sister. Griffin couldn’t discount that.

But, mostly, it was good-natured, and he didn’t end up too close to death by the end of the game, even if he was limping.

Ryder’s team beat his soundly.

“You did a decent enough job,” Ryder said, clapping him on the back. “I don’t judge you too much.”

By then, the meat was ready, along with baked beans, macaroni salad and any number of other delicious foods. Colt brought out his guitar at one point, and did some passable country songs, pretty impressive for a casual backyard performance, really. And Griffin just kind of listened. To everyone talking. To them interacting. To family.

Family.

That word settled in his stomach like a rock.

He’d avoided family for so long. The sense of it. The need for it.

He’d avoided his own, because they were so linked to that piece of family he’d lost.

But right here, he saw a family bonded together by loss. It was...he didn’t have words for it.

He went over to the cooler, and opened it and saw that it was out of beer.

“More in the house,” Ryder said. “Come on, we’ll get some.”

Iris gave him a look, but he shrugged and followed Ryder indoors.

“Is this the part where you ask me what my intentions are toward your sister?”

“Yeah,” Ryder said. “I’m pretty proud of myself for not saying it in front of her.”

“Your whole posture kind of shouts it, though.”

“Only because you feel guilty.”

“I don’t feel guilty about anything,” Griffin said. “I think your sister is amazing. I’m not using her. If that’s what you’re worried about.”

“Good. I wanted to be sure of that. My gut is that you’re a pretty good guy. And I have an all right gut. But you’re some rich guy who came down here from California, and I have to admit, that makes me a little bit nervous. Ingrained prejudice.”

“That’s not exactly the whole story,” Griffin said. “I don’t know what she told you. My wife died a few years ago. I came here to lick my wounds.”

Ryder jerked back. “Right. Shit. I’m sorry.”

“It’s a... I’m learning to accept it? I don’t know. Figure out how to exist?” He thought back to that little baby. That little girl of Ryder’s. It made him ache. It made him ache, but it was a fact of life. And he was glad there were babies in the world. That other people had their little girls. But he always thought of his own, and that was difficult. It always would be, he realized. It always would be, and there was some kind of grace and acceptance in that. Grace he hadn’t realized he needed.

“I... I lost my wife and my daughter,” he said to Ryder.

Ryder’s face turned to stone, and he knew it was the last thing a new father wanted to hear. Hell, if he’d been a new father, hearing his story would have destroyed him. But living it was worse. He knew that for certain.

“So I’ll tell you something. Something real and I’m not... I’m not great with feelings so bear with me. Your sister feels like a miracle to me. Because I didn’t know if I would ever enjoy the taste of food again, much less find somebody who made me feel like this. So I don’t know what my intentions are toward her. I just know that I think she’s amazing. Pretty damn near perfect. And I know that I would never do anything to hurt her.”

“I don’t know what to say,” Ryder said. “She didn’t tell me about your daughter.”

“I had a hard time telling her about it myself. I have a hard time talking about it. But now I told her. I told you. You say it enough times and it becomes real, you know? I’ve been doing a lot to try and make it not real. And now I’m kind of finding my way back into the world I’m trying to figure out what living looks like now. Right now, it’s looked the best with her.”

“I don’t know how you’re... How you’re still standing,” Ryder said. “I don’t know...”

“I wasn’t. Not for a long time. You lose something like that, and the only thing that keeps you going is knowing that living is something they can’t do. But I’ve just been surviving. Not really living. She’s showing me something different. So believe me when I tell you, she matters to me.”

Ryder nodded. “But you can’t make any guarantees.”

“No,” Griffin said. “I’ve... When I do, she’ll be the first to know.”

“I respect that.”

“Thank you for inviting me over. The other thing I haven’t done in a long time too is sit with a family. And it’s been good to see yours. I kind of abandoned mine. My parents, my sister. I couldn’t really cope. Not after losing Mel and Emma.”

“I can understand that.”

“I figured you probably could.” He shook his head. “Iris, and everything that’s coming to my life by extension of her, is helping me realize there are some things that I need to start piecing back together.”

“Well, we’re glad you’re here.”

“Thank you.”

Ryder took two beers out of the fridge, held his out and clinked it against the edge of Griffin’s. “You’re always welcome here.”

“Thank you.”

And he hadn’t realized what it might mean to have a place like that. One where he was welcome. Another place to go.

His isolated personal map had grown just now. He’d made connections. And it was the kind of thing he could just sit and marvel at. The kind of thing he didn’t take for granted. Because of course he didn’t. Of course he didn’t take any of this for granted. How could he?

He’d spent the last five years in a fog, and coming out of it was like breathing. For the first time. Like seeing for the first time.

“Now, let’s go rejoin the party. Iris is probably dying of distress, wondering if I took you in here to kill you for living in sin with her.”

“Were you going to?”

Ryder shook his head. “No. I have no room to judge.”

“Doesn’t mean you wouldn’t.”

“That’s right, you did mention you had a sister. So you know how it is.”

“I do know how it is.”

And he realized that Ryder, unlike any of the friends he had back home, actually did understand him. A little better than most. Husband and father, a man who’d experienced loss. A man with quite a few younger sisters that he’d had to protect.

He’d expected to come meet Iris’s family, what he hadn’t expected to do was find a friend.

He would’ve said that he didn’t need friends.

He was remembering. All the things that made life worth living. All the things that made life matter. Because of Iris.

Because of the feelings that he had for her.

Ryder had probably wanted some guarantees, and Griffin had said he couldn’t give them to him.

But he was starting to think that might not be the case.

He was starting to think that this was more than he had imagined it could be. That there was more left for him on earth than he had ever thought possible.

THEREWASAFTERdinner football, because of course there was, because Ryder had a completely captive guest in Griffin, who was obviously doing his best to be part of things, which was leaving Iris absolutely agog.

“He is really something,” Sammy said from beside her.

“He... Yes.”

“I mean, he is smoking hot.”

“Dial it down about twenty percent,” Iris said, shooting Sammy a warning glare.

“I would,” Sammy said, “but I can’t.”

“Well,” Iris said.

“Here,” she said, “hold Astrid.”

Sammy dumped the little bundle of softness gently into Iris’s arms, and her heart contracted.

She looked over at Griffin, who managed to choose that exact minute to look over at her. While she was standing there holding a baby.

A strange expression filtered across his face, his features going tight. And Iris suddenly felt panicky.

“Take her,” she said to Rose.

“All right,” Rose said, taking Astrid in her arms.

“When are you going to have one of those?” Pansy asked.

“Maybe never,” Rose said, but Iris could see by the expression on her face when she looked at their niece that that was absolutely not true. She smiled softly. “I don’t know, maybe in a couple of years. She’s so beautiful.”

Iris had to agree, but she felt enervated over the fact that Griffin had just seen her holding a baby, and what if he thought she wanted a baby? Or what if it hurt him to see a baby? She hadn’t even thought of that. She wondered if he was okay, or if he was upset. He had looked a little bit upset.

Because of course he wouldn’t be wanting... And the picture that she would’ve made holding her was so domestic. That concerned her. Honestly concerned her.

The whole thing made her feel jumbled up. More than she should feel.

“What about you?” Pansy asked. “Are you going to marry him?”

“No,” Iris said. “I already told you that. No.”

“You brought him home to all of us. You brought him home to meet the family.”

“I didn’t... I didn’t do it on purpose. Ryder invited him.”

“So, what’s the problem? He’s gorgeous, and here and charming. And plays football. Ryder seems to like him.”

“The problem,” Iris said, “is that... It’s hard to explain.” She looked at Rose and Pansy, two of the people she loved most in the whole world, and she didn’t know how to explain that so much of the heaviness she carried inside her was because of the way she’d cared for them.

“Try,” Pansy said.

“He was married,” she said.

“So?” Rose asked.

“He’s widowed. His wife died. He...he loves her and he’s...he’s my friend. I needed someone to help me start a real life and he needed someone he could be with to help him heal and I’m good at helping people.”

The words were ash in her mouth.

“You’re more than that,” Rose said.

“I need to make sure I am,” Iris said.

Her brain felt like a minefield of memories. And she chose not to have any of them. Standing there with her sisters.

I need your help, Iris.

You know how Rose gets.

Rose just needs me.

I don’t have time to bake with you.

Your dad is so mad at Pansy, I just have to go and manage that.

They need more care than you. They need more attention.

She shoved all that aside.

But then, more memories flooded in.

Thank you so much for taking care of them.

I love it when you help around the house.

I appreciate it so much.

She felt tired just then.

Finally, when the game was finished, and she and Griffin made their way back to the bakery, she leaned back in her seat. “I’m tired tonight,” she said. “I might need to be alone.”

He frowned. “All right.” He paused for just a moment. “Did I do something wrong?”

“No,” she said. “You didn’t do anything wrong. It’s just me. I’m tired. I’m tired and I need a little bit of time to think.”

“Whatever you need, Iris. You know I’ll give it to you.”

“I appreciate it.”

But when he finally dropped her at the bakery, she couldn’t sleep. And she ended up just being angry with herself that she hadn’t asked him to stay.

Because no matter how much she told herself this was temporary, her bed already felt too empty without Griffin in it.

And that was a problem.