Knitted Hearts by Amber Kelly

Sonia

Ipull up to Momma’s house and blow the horn. She comes running out of the place with her purse and a bottle of wine tucked under her arm.

“Don’t you look snazzy!” I tell her as she gets in and buckles her seat belt.

She is wearing a pair of floral-print leggings with a navy turtleneck and a light-blue furry vest that goes almost to her knees.

It’s bingo night at The Old Depot, and Momma and her friends use it as an excuse to cut loose and enjoy some adult beverages while trying to win prizes, like new cookware and designer purses.

Elle and I usually serve as designated drivers for Momma and Elle’s aunts, so they can have fun without worry.

“You like it?” she asks as she strokes the vest.

“I do. It looks good on you.”

“The boutique just got a shipment of these vests in a variety of colors, and I figured showing up at bingo in one of them would be the best advertising I could do.”

“Very clever,” I agree.

“Where’s George?” she asks as she looks in the backseat.

“I left her asleep in her crate. I’m going right back home until you call for pickup.”

“No hot date tonight, then?” she asks.

Her prying doesn’t bother me in the least. I talk to her about everything. I told her all about my few dates with Foster—well, I might have left out a few details.

“Not tonight. He’s helping Payne do a few things at the farm.”

“I’ve been praying for you two,” she says.

Prayer is her answer for all things.

She slides her eyes to me. “You should too.”

She reminds me of this all the time as well.

“I know, Momma.”

“That means, you haven’t,” she assumes.

“I used to pray. I used to pray all the time. I prayed that God would heal Daddy, and he didn’t. I prayed that God would heal my marriage, and he didn’t. So, if he’s never going to answer my prayers, what is the point?” I ask.

“He did, baby. He just said no—that’s all,” she answers.

No?

“Or he just ignores me,” I mutter.

“He answers every prayer, Sonia Leigh.”

“Why would he say no to those prayers? I wasn’t asking to be rich or a model or the president of the United States. I just asked for the people I loved to be healthy and happy and to love me back,” I say, not hiding my frustration.

“I prayed the same prayers you did. I wanted your father to live. He was the love of my life, and I was scared to go on without him. I prayed for him to be healed and no longer suffer. And he was. Not in the manner I had hoped for, but God healed him and took away his pain. I also prayed for your happiness, for you to have the kind of marriage we had. One full of love and laughter. One where you felt safe and adored. And he answered again. He removed the bad that was in the way, so he could bring you to the good. Don’t you see, Sonia? God’s grace is sufficient,” she says.

If she says so.

I kiss her cheek before she hops out of the car.

“Wish me luck. I feel like this is going to be my night,” she says as she turns back.

“Good luck, Momma. Bring home all the goods.”

She smiles and then walks off through the doors.

Elle drives up and unloads Doreen and Ria. I pull off to the side and wait for her to come over and roll down her window.

“Want to come by the apartment and have a mug of cocoa while we wait for the wild ones to finish their night?” I ask.

“Sure. Walker was still at Payne’s when I left home. He’ll probably be there a while.”

I head home, and she follows.

As I unlock the door for us, we can hear George’s barks from upstairs.

“Sounds like someone is upset,” Elle says as we enter.

“She was sleeping when I left. I guess she woke up to find me gone and freaked out. We’re working on her separation issues.”

“She’ll get there. Woof just does his thing. He greets us when we first get home, and I can coax him onto the couch for snuggles on the rare occasion, but other than that, he’s pretty self-sufficient.”

Woof is Walker’s sweet old hound dog that Elle inherited when they married.

“Good to know.”

I let the puppy out, and then I use my coffeemaker to brew a pot of cocoa. I pour us each a huge mug and toss in a few mini marshmallows.

We sit on the couch as George plays on the floor with her toys.

“Spill,” Elle demands as she blows over the top of her cup.

“Spill what?”

“Everything,” she says.

I proceed to tell her all about the sleepover at Foster’s house, and I leave none of the details out for her.

“Wow,” she says when I finish.

“I know. That was two orgasms in one night, and I didn’t have to fake either of them.”

“You should never, ever have to fake them.”

Ricky was a selfish lover. He didn’t want to put in the effort to get me there, but he’d get aggravated if I didn’t, so I’m embarrassed to admit, I did fake it from time to time.

“So, are you two a couple?” she asks.

“I don’t know. My marriage is pretty much done, and his will be soon. I guess we’ll see how it goes and talk about it then.”

Elle raises one eyebrow.

I wish I could do that.

“You don’t have to wait until the ink dries on his divorce papers to talk about your relationship,” she says.

“That’s true, but I don’t want to push. I always do that. I’m trying to be more go with the flow, going forward.”

“Riiight.”

“What does that mean?” I ask.

“It means, you are who you are, Sonia. You don’t do casual. You never have. There’s nothing wrong with that, and you are allowed to tell the man what you want.”

“I thought you and Bellamy were always preaching for me to slow down and take my time to make sure it was right,” I say, quoting them almost verbatim.

“That was because neither of us liked Ricky. He didn’t treat you right, and he was never an equal partner, not even going into your marriage. We wanted better for you. It wasn’t how fast you fell in love; it was how blindly you fell in love. All I ever want is for you not to settle.”

“And what is your impression of Foster?” I ask.

I’m starting to trust my friends’ instincts. If they say I need to step back and take a deeper look at a relationship I’m in, I’m going to start doing just that.

Elle grins. “I adore him. I’ve been praying you two would finally find your way to each other,” she says.

Her and my mother.

“I think I adore him too. It scares me.”

“If you’re not a little scared, it wouldn’t be worth your time,” she assures me.

We change the subject, and she tells me about her plans to go off the pill next month.

“I can’t wait to be an auntie,” I squeal.

“Walker can’t wait either. I’m the hesitant one. Sophie makes being a mom look so easy, but I have Lily Claire over for one sleepover, and I’m an exhausted mess for two days.”

I place my hand on hers. “That’s okay. If you’re not a little scared, it wouldn’t be worth your time,” I repeat her advice.

She laughs. “So I’ve heard.”