Knitted Hearts by Amber Kelly
Foster
The bliss I was riding from the other night is short-lived.
I should have known the universe was not going to allow me to be this damn happy.
I arrive home from work on Wednesday afternoon with plans to shower and head to pick Sonia up to take her over to Walker and Elle’s for the evening.
When I pull in, I see a familiar black foreign car parked in front of my home. Wendy is sitting on the top step with her arms around her legs, staring off into space.
When I get out of the truck, she jumps to her feet.
“I’m in a hurry, Wendy. What do you need?”
“We need to talk. I left you several messages,” she says.
“I got them, but I’ve been busy,” I say as I pass her to unlock my door.
“Too busy for a five-minute phone call, Foster, really?”
“Yes, really, and I have to go now, so spit out whatever it is,” I say as I open the door and turn to face her.
“Can I at least come in?” she asks.
“You can say whatever it is right here.”
She huffs. Then, she reaches into her purse, pulls out something, and tries to hand it to me.
“What the fuck is it?” I ask without taking it from her.
She opens her hand and holds it up, so I can get a good look at it.
It’s a positive pregnancy test.
I stare at it in disbelief.
“Are you going to say anything?” she asks.
I bring my eyes from the test to hers. “Congratulations. Is that it?”
“It’s yours, Foster.”
It can’t be. This is another one of her stunts.
“Right.”
“I haven’t been with anyone else since you left in May. If you don’t believe me, we can do a paternity test. You can do them before the baby is born now.”
I start doing the math in my head. That would make her five months along. I look at her stomach.
“No, I’m not showing much yet. My doctor says that’s normal, perfectly normal, and the baby is fine.”
“How do I know that’s even real and you aren’t just squeezing me for more money now?”
She reaches in her purse again and produces three more unopened pregnancy tests, all from different manufacturers. “I thought you might say that, so invite me inside, and I’ll take all of these right now.”
I open the door wide, and she walks in.
I stare at the tests on the coffee table in front of me. One has a plus sign, another shows a double line, and the last one is a digital test with the word yes in the window.
Fuck my life.
Wendy paces behind the couch.
“I just don’t understand. Did you think that a baby would somehow fix everything between us? Or was it a way to keep your hooks into me?” I ask.
She stops moving, and angry eyes bore into mine.
“You think I got pregnant on purpose?” she asks.
“Didn’t you? Because I thought you were on birth control the whole time,” I accuse.
“I was!” she shouts.
I shake my head in frustration.
“I was, Foster. I don’t know how, but it happened, and now, we have to deal with it.”
“I don’t think … I don’t want to … I can’t be a husband to you. My heart belongs to someone else,” I tell her.
“Yeah, I know. Bellamy’s friend, Sonia, right? I saw you two together in town. You were holding hands and walking puppies together. It was cute,” she says.
“It’s more than cute. I love her,” I confess.
“I could tell.”
“Fuck,” I scream.
“Do you think I want to be the person you settle for? Because I don’t. I’m not trying to trap you, Foster. That’s no life for you, me, or the baby. I want to be someone’s whole world. I want to be wanted by someone who I want with all I have, whose heart belongs to me. I deserve that too,” she says, surprising me.
“You do,” I agree.
We were both young and stupid when we promised forever. Neither one of us knew what that truly meant at the time.
“What if it’s too late for me to find that kind of love? What if I’m too hideous for someone to love me like that?” she asks.
I stand and walk over and lay my hand on her stomach. I can’t believe that I have a child growing in there.
“It’s not too late. You have someone right here who will love you like no other. You can start there,” I assure her.
She places her hand on top of mine. “Yeah, I guess that’s one relationship I haven’t had the opportunity to fuck up yet. Maybe he or she won’t hate me.”
“Not unless you want them to,” I point out.
“I don’t,” she whispers.
“I know.”
“But I didn’t want you to hate me either, and here we are. I don’t know if I’m ready to be tied down, Foster. I don’t know if I can do this,” she admits as tears begin to stream down her cheeks.
“What are you saying?”
“I’m saying that I’m not ready to be someone’s mother. I can’t even take care of myself. I have no clue who I am or where I want to be. I just know it’s not here. Not in Poplar Falls,” she says.
I drop my hand.
“I don’t want you to terminate this pregnancy,” I say, and I know it’s the truth. As much as I didn’t mean for any of this to happen, there is a little life inside of her.
“I’m not saying that you want that either. I’m just … I’m scared,” she says.
“That’s normal, I think, but we’ll figure it out. And if you decide you’re not cut out for it, then I’ll take over for us both, and I won’t ever make you feel guilty for walking away,” I promise.
“You’d do that, wouldn’t you?”
I nod.
She swipes at her nose and looks at the floor for a few beats.
“Okay, I’ll stay until the baby comes, and we’ll see how I feel then.”