The Way She Burns by Jessa Kane
8
Chloe
Ipace the bedroom at the foot of Curtis’s bed where I’ve been standing vigil all night, my heart and mind in turmoil. After carrying my brother to the room beneath the stairs, Sebastian took one look at my face and backed out through the entrance, striding to his den with purpose. What purpose? I’m not sure.
I only know that as soon as the sun comes up, we have to leave this place. The home, the land…and the man that has captivated me. Made me burn out of control.
This was my warning. Curtis’s arm isn’t broken, thankfully. Just bruised. But that bruise stares at me from across the bedroom like an accusation. If I’d been in the house, if I’d been watching him like I should have instead of indulging my physical curse, this wouldn’t have happened. I would have soothed my brother back to sleep and avoided this injury.
Giving in to my hunger means neglecting everything else. And now that my mother is gone, I can’t afford to do that anymore. I’m all my brother has.
I completely lost myself on the cliffs.
I said and did things that have always been stored deep down, never to see the light of day. I didn’t just call Sebastian by the name Daddy. He was that man while he bucked inside of me. And I was his little girl. We vanished into our roles effortlessly and reveled in them. The rest of the world simply doesn’t exist when he’s inside of me, pleasuring me in ways I never knew were possible. It’s not a matter of if I would slip deeper into this…obsession with Sebastian. It’s a matter of when. And my brother is going to suffer for my weakness.
Swiping the tears away from my eyes, I check to make sure Curtis is sleeping, then I begin to gather our things. In the morning, we’ll travel to my aunt’s house. We’ll beg her to let us remain with her until I can get employment. Once again, I’ll shove this hunger inside of me down deep, even if it will be so much harder now. Now that Sebastian has coaxed that side of me to the surface and given it texture. Given it life.
And in the process, made me fall in love with him.
A tear slips down my cheek when I admit that to myself.
Oh God, do I love this man who tried so hard to be a monster, but couldn’t quite stop his inner hero from shining out. Despite his best efforts to appear cool and unaffected, he’s a man who owns up to his mistakes, apologizes, fixes them. He’s violently protective of me. He’s guarded and complicated, but those qualities only make it all the sweeter when he cracks.
I won’t let you hit the rocks below. Ever. You have to trust me.
Words Sebastian said to me on the cliff come back, pausing my hand in the act of packing one of Curtis’s book into my bag. Haven’t I hit the rocks? Seeing my brother at the bottom of the stairs, crying in pain, was my nightmare coming true. When I indulge my darker nature, I lose track of my responsibilities. When that happens, something bad happens to someone I love. I’m irresponsible and reckless. My mother did everything she could to help me change, but here I am. All of the progress I made in being good has faded away and I’m back at square one.
Curtis makes a sound in his sleep and turns over.
I have no choice. I have to do the right thing.
If I stay here, my feelings, my love and lust for Sebastian will overwhelm me. Blind me to my responsibilities. And the reason I have the responsibility of raising my brother in the first place is because I wasn’t there when my mother needed help.
Coming here was a mistake. Sebastian isn’t merely the man who created the wickedness inside of me, he’s the only one who can indulge it. If I leave, maybe I’ll be able to ignore the constant stirring between my legs.
How many times did he carry me from the room yesterday to use his mouth on me? I lost count. I lost track of the pleasure he sent coursing through me with every flick of his tongue, every pump of his fingers, every filthy word. He’s going to become the center of my universe if I stay here, and what will happen next time I fling myself blindly into passion? What tragedy is waiting just around the corner?
Leaving Sebastian is going to be the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life, but I can already feel myself making excuses to have him inside me one last time. I can already hear myself moaning in his bed, my head in a magical fog, the outside world ceasing to exist. Nothing existing except for Sebastian and the call of my destructive hormones.
I’m in the middle of zipping my bag when I hear the loud cracking sound.
When I hear it a second time, I realize it’s coming from outside the house. I shake myself and run to the window, looking out over the lawn to find…
Sebastian shirtless in the sunrise, his strong body glistening with sweat. He’s taking a sledgehammer to the perimeter wall, creating a huge crack down the center of one of the longest sections. His back flexes as he raises the sledgehammer again, burying it in the stone, sending rubble flying in every direction. My first thought is that he’s going to hurt himself. He’s not even wearing goggles or gloves or—
I stop when I realize I’m distracting myself.
On purpose.
Because it’s obvious what’s happening here and it sends my heart ricocheting between my throat and ribcage, creating twin pools of moisture in my eyes.
He’s taking down the wall.
More accurately, he’s taking down his walls.
For me?
Somehow I already sense the answer to that question as I run from the room, traveling through the foyer, out the main entrance and onto the grass. My chest is tighter than a drum as I approach him, fingertips pressed to my lips to keep a cry from escaping. But eventually I can’t anymore and I make a shallow sound, causing Sebastian’s sledgehammer to pause mid-swing.
Slowly, he turns around—and reveals a man possessed. His black hair hangs down low over his brow, sweat running in rivulets down the sides of his handsome face.
“Sebastian,” I say, unable to get my voice above a whisper, thanks to the strain in my throat. “What are you doing?”
His big shoulders heave with exertion, and absently I notice the claw marks I left. Great red streaks running down the middle of his beautiful chest. “The last thing I can do to keep you here.” He drops the sledgehammer beside his right foot, the tool hitting the ground loudly. “I asked you to face your fear without facing mine. I’m fixing that now. Look at me, Chloe, I’m letting out what’s inside of me. Just like you did on the cliff. Okay?” His eyes are clearer than I’ve ever seen them. Not guarded whatsoever. “I’m in love with you, Chloe.” He pauses, letting those rasped words sink in deep, permeating every bone in my body. “I don’t know how to be what my family needed. Or wanted. So I pretended I didn’t need them. But I can’t pretend that with you. I fucking need you, do you understand me? I’m admitting that out loud. You’ve made the world start turning again.”
“Sebastian—” I sob.
“And I know you’re scared, I know you think there’s something wrong with the way you ache so badly, so often, but there isn’t. God no. Nature gave you a gift and sent me to fulfill you, baby. You can’t outrun this fire between us—and I’m not letting you. If you leave, I will follow. I’ll remind you every day how goddamn good it is when I’m inside of you. Or when you’re just looking at me across the room and making my heart feel like it’s trapped in a door. Or just when your hand is in mine. If those things are bad, then maybe it’s the good things we should be suspicious of. I love you, Chloe. I love you. Don’t run from me and break my heart.”
Behind Sebastian, a piece of the broken walls tumbles down and smashes at his feet, but he doesn’t turn around to acknowledge it. He’s too busy staring at me with unrivaled intensity, the sun burnishing his powerful body in gold.
I’m at a loss for words.
I don’t know what to say.
My heart wants me to run to him, but in my mind’s eye, I can still see Curtis lying at the base of the stairs, his face contorted in pain.
“Chloe,” he says, voice vibrating in the morning air. “It was scary, baby. But the world didn’t end, did it? It’s not going to, no matter what you do. Or how often you need to be loved. But it can get a lot darker if we deprive ourselves of each other. Mine is already dark just seeing the indecision in your eyes. Come back to me.”
The world didn’t end.
The world…didn’t end.
The raw quality of his voice is what breaks through to me.
It pierces the barrier of my fear and wraps around my lungs, my heart, pulling me toward him. I take one step and it feels so right, so vital, that I take another until I’m running toward him. Being snatched up into his arms and held so tightly, I gasp, losing what’s left of my breath.
“I love you, too,” I whisper, burying my face in his sweaty neck.
As soon as I say those words and he laughs hoarsely, holding me tighter, the last of my reservations dissolve. There is nothing wicked or wrong about what’s between me and this man. Nor is there anything wrong with me. There is fate and circumstance and sometimes, there are just accidents. But maybe those situations are going to happen whether I’m alone or not. Whether I’m happy or sad. Maybe bad things just happen and people have to take the good, trust when they’ve found it and hold on with both hands.
And with love bursting like fireworks in my chest, that’s exactly what I do.
I have no choice in the matter because this man has been in my blood since I was thirteen and I have no hope of getting him out. I don’t want to.
“Being happy isn’t selfish…” I say, piecing together a truth that is being revealed to me in this very moment, being held in the arms of the man I love. “It’s a gift.”
Sebastian’s cobalt blue eyes meet mine, crackling with lust and obsession and affection deeper than any ocean. “Let’s spend our whole lives unwrapping it.”
