Maxed Steel by M.J. Fields
Wide Awake
Mila
When I wake up,I do so with Lindsey in the driver’s side of the vehicle that Max gave to me, and he’s not here.
“Hey,” she says as soon as she notices my eyes are open.
“Hey.”
“You break up with Sal? You and Max a thing now? He bought you a fucking car?” she gasps.
Too exhausted to go into this delicately, and now that I am in no way able to protect myself, or Saylor, from the inevitable, I grab my phone from my bag and open the photo app. Smiling, I look at the pictures I took over the past couple days.
“I lied. I hope you don’t hate me, Lindsey, when I tell you that Sal is actually Saylor.” I hand her my phone with the selfie of her and me at the salon when she got her first hair cut on display. “She’s two, she’s my daughter, and she might be Max’s, or she might be his arch-rival in high school. I slept with them both around the same time I got pregnant.”
Lindsey smiles at my phone screen. “There is no way, unless this other guy is a twin of his, that she’s not Max’s. My God, look at that face! She is adorable. When can I meet her?” She looks up from the screen to me, and the dam breaks.
“There, there.” She hugs me. “You have exactly ten minutes to cry, and then you have to get to class.”
“I can’t do this,” I cry.
“You can, you are, and you have the most beautiful two-year-old reason to keep on doing it.” She pets my hair like my mom used to after Dad finally passed out and as we both tried to recover from his heavy handedness.
* * *
Walkinginto the class that I now must take because everything else is full, I sit in the back of the lecture hall so that no one can see my face that’s a mess right now.
The syllabus is passed around, which would usually cause me excitement, but I don’t love that everything is now online. I end up with a headache after hours of reading, and split screens don’t work as well as a good old packet full of paper references beside my notebooks and textbooks. I learn better that way and have far less distractions. However, today there is no joy found in the thick packet.
Max says he loves me, and I have no idea how to let him.
After my name is called, and I have answered with, “Here,” Professor Lovington resumes taking attendance, and I pull my sweater around me and close my eyes.
When I hear the name Maximus Steel and his response of, “Fully present,” my heart expands. Then, when the I hear giggles around the lecture hall, I feel all kinds of … stabby.
“Have you seen him shirtless?” The girl two seats down from me leans over and holds out her phone, showing me a picture of Max.
“He’s okay.”
“Okay?” She laughs.
“Usually, guys like that are lacking in other areas, if you know what I’m saying.” So what if it’s completely untrue? She doesn’t know that, not yet, anyway.
Maybe she could love him like he deserves to be loved, and then the two of them could talk about what a big fat liar I am.
“Just DM’d him.” She shows me the message.
“Seriously?” She sent a tittie pic.
“I mean, why not?”
“Because he didn’t ask to see your fake-ass Ds, that’s why. Desperate as fuck.”
Apparently, I’m a bit loud, because the whole room falls silent, and Professor Lovington asks, “Is there a problem, ladies?”
“One of us is a lady,” I say matter-of-factly.
“Mila, you feelin’ okay, babe?” Freaking Max asks, standing up.
I don’t answer.
“Her sugar gets low. May I?” he asks, pointing up at me.
“Please do.”
“You know him?” The girl acts like she’s offended.
I hold my hand up in her face. “Get away from me.”
Max takes the stairs two at a time, and then he plops his ass between me and Tits McGee. He opens his bag and pulls out a protein bar. “Need to eat something, Blue.”
“I’m not hungry.”
“Yeah, well, you’re gonna need to fake it to take the shine off you.”
I lean forward and look at the ho. “You wanted his protein bar, right? Isn’t that what you said? You and your tits sliding in his DM.”
Max chuckles. “Easy, tiger. I don’t even check that, and the only person getting a single shot of any of my protein is you.”
The bitch stands up. “I’m out. She’s crazy.”
I shove my foot out, hoping to trip her, and Max hooks his around mine and pulls it back.
“Can we not be the crazy couple on campus and be hashtag goals instead?” He hands me the open protein bar, a shit-ass grin spreading across his stupid gorgeous face.
“This isn’t funny.”
“No, but at least I know you’re not checking out.”
“Um, was I not just laid out on a picnic table?”
He sits back in the chair and clasps his hands behind his neck, all man and hot as hell casual, but no less infuriating. That grin spreads across his face as he says, “Yeah, you were.”
“I told Lindsey about Saylor,” I whisper in a rush.
He leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees, still looking forward. Him not saying anything makes me feel even more awful about sort of hiding her. I feel anxiety and embarrassment build inside of me.
Finally, he turns his head and looks at me. “Yeah?”
“It’s not that I didn’t want people to know. I was—”
“Protecting her. I get that. You may not get this right now, but you will never have to do it alone again.”
“Mr. Steel, Ms. Miller, is everything under control now?”
“Yes, ma’am.” He smiles and sits back.
He holds out his hand, palm up. “I got you, Mila.”
I close my eyes and place my hand in his.
After a couple minutes, he asks, “So, do you at least like the vehicle?”
I don’t look at him, but I nod.
“We good, then?”
Again, I nod.
Through the whole class, he runs his thumb in slow, soft circles on my hand. It’s calming, and it’s sweet, and it’s … Max.
Walking out of class, I notice the Miss Tittie, and so does Max. He throws his arm around me, pulls me against him, kisses the top of my head, and says, “You and me are good. That shit doesn’t matter.”
I look up at him and ask, “Yeah?”
He winks. “Yeah.”
As we walk toward the quad, I remember his conversation with Oakley. “Aren’t you going surfing?”
“I’d say give me a better offer and I’ll reschedule, but you look beat, babe.”
I nod.
“I’ll walk you back, drop off my bag, change, and then head out.”
“Wait—where’s your board?”
“In my truck.”
“You still have your truck?” I ask, confused. “How did your truck get here?”
“Kiki and Brand dropped it off for me.”
“They came all this way?”
“Of course, that’s what family does.” He nods toward the Student Union. “You hungry?”
“Lindsey grabbed dinner for us earlier, but if you are, go ahead. I can handle walking alone.”
“But you don’t have to anymore.”
Us walking together does not go unnoticed because he’s Max. The guy with probably a zillion followers, a smile that lights up every room, a body that melts panties and, from what I’m now bearing witness to, a heart that shines, and everyone knows he’s here on campus.
He gives my hip a squeeze, and I look away from all those gawking at us and back at him.
“Gotta tell you, senior year, walking into school alone, without any of my crew and Marc and the rest of them we grew up with being there, and all the hostility that surrounded that shit show, it was hard. Seeing you in almost every class made it much more enjoyable. The past two years, I’ve been basically doing it alone, had my folks and plenty of times other family there for competitions, which was nice, but it wasn’t the same. I’m glad I have you back, Miller, and I’m looking forward to all our future walks together. I’m hoping this shit, all the people looking at us, chills after they see we’re not just a thing and that we’re solid.”
“They’re looking at you, not us.”
He shakes his head and laughs. “Don’t be so naïve. I know a bunch of guys who want up in you. Hell, Boone asked me if I was calling dibs on you. I know Oakley is sweet on you, too, and if those two are, so are half the guys on campus.” He nods ahead of us and says, “Well, maybe not those two guys.”
I look in that direction to see two guys making out.
“Guessing you’re not their flavor. The rest of them will know within a couple days, if not sooner, that I’ve officially called dibs.”
He pulls his phone out of his pocket and hands it to me. “Phone password is S. A. I. L. O. R.”
To that, my heart warms. “It’s a Y, not an I.”
“Well, damn.” He drags me over to a bench in front of our building and sits. “I like that. I like it a lot.”
He plays with his phone for a minute then hands it back to me. “Fixed. All others are saved, but if they don’t work for you, it’s MAXED1. I want you to jump in my DMs and delete or deny anyone who’s not family. If there are pics, delete them. I care about one set of tits only.”
“I’m not going to invade your privacy like that.”
“I’m asking you to. Took a screenshot of my schedule, too; would love to compare ours to see where we can sneak in some study time.” He smirks.
* * *
Sitting on my bed,eating a big fat helping of mac and cheese—comfort food—that Lindsey, who’s in the shower, brought me from the café, I look down at the phone and feel kind of sick to my stomach. I believe that, right now, Max wants all that he says he does, and I know, if I allowed myself to, I would fall so deep and so hard for him. Hell, I already did once.
Four days from being with him and you’re right back there again.
“Why are you crying? Did the mac and cheese not work?” Lindsey asks, walking toward me as she towel dries her hair.
“I am so scared to love him, Linds. So scared.” I set the dish on the nightstand and hug my knees. “And I’m so tired of hiding because I’m terrified that, before I even have time to give her a nice home, a nice life, Saylor is going to become a ping pong ball, and that she’ll someday chose money over me. I am so tired of my life being a constant struggle.”
“Then stop fighting the good that comes your way.”
I cry more, and Lindsey holds me … again.
Once I can’t cry anymore, I sit back. “I left all our stuff in Bayside. Friendship fail.”
“We have a closet full; it’s fine. Did we get a lot of good things for the poor people?”
I can’t help but laugh. “Yeah, Lindsey.”
Her eyes widen and brighten all at the same time. “So, now that you’re not keeping Saylor a secret, can I come to the projects with you?”
I can’t help but laugh as I wipe my face with my comforter. “It’s not Disneyland.”
“But I wanna see.”
“Sure. Anytime.”
“We have a long weekend.” She grins. “No parties either, but that’s a story for a different day.”
“Okay.”
“Yeah?” She claps her hands.
I roll my eyes as I scoot to the edge of the bed. “I’m going to shower.”
She holds up Max’s phone. “Want me to do the dirty work?”
“Sure. But I don’t want to know if anyone I hang with sent Max nasty pictures. And don’t send any messages.”
She’s already in his phone when I walk into the bathroom.
* * *
Getting out of the shower,I hear Lindsey’s muffled talking and laughter. I quickly throw on one of the tees I got for free on move-in day. It seems unreal to me that it was less than a week ago.
I open one of the drawers in the plastic storage cart under the sink and grab a pair of sleep shorts. Then I look in the mirror quickly to see if my face is any less blotchy as I squeeze out the water from my hair before I run a brush through it then step out, toweling my hair.
“She’s the best kind of person in the whole world. You’ll love her.”
I freeze when I see her holding Max’s phone up as she talks into the screen.
“And here she is now.” She smiles as she hops off my bed and hops to me.
“It’s Carly, Kiki, and Bella.” She grins like this is a good thing until she sees that I clearly don’t. “Um. Here?” She hands me the phone.
I look down at the screen and see three smiling faces.
“She takes a minute to warm up,” Bella tells them.
“Sorry. I, um, wasn’t expecting this.”
“It’s like Steel Survivor.” Kiki, who I remember from school and my miserable days of social media stalking Max, laughs. “Expect the unexpected.”
They all laugh, and I force myself to smile.
“I’m gonna, um … let you have some privacy,” Lindsey says as she makes her escape.
I shake my head. “She shouldn’t have answered his phone. I shouldn’t even have his phone. This is—”
“She explained everything.” Carly smiles, and seeing her do so brings immediate tears to my eyes.
“Oh, dear. We’re a bit much, aren’t we?” she says with all the sincerity in the world.
I shake my head.
“Miller,” Carly Steel says.
“Mom, it’s Mila,” Kiki corrects her.
“Right.” She giggles. “Miller was what Max called her in the notes they passed, and I—” She clamps her mouth shut.
Kiki covers her face with her hand. “Real smooth, Mom. Next, you’ll tell her you’ve been putting them all into a Word document because you think she and Max should write smut.”
“Real smooth, Katherine Ann,” Carly says, her face turning red as she looks back at me. “I apologize in advance, but they were delightful.”
“She’s going to hang up, and I wouldn’t blame her,” Bella scolds them both. She looks at the screen. “Mom loves herself some Mommy Porn.”
“It’s racy romance, and yes, I absolutely do.” She smiles at me. “I was going through Max’s room and found a box of memorabilia. Imagine my surprise when I found those folded-up notes with a blue heart and the name Miller on them. They were the only thing that survived when Max was victimized by—”
“Roofied, Mom. Seriously, you just made him sound like a rape victim.”
She crosses her arms. “He very well could have been.”
“You three wanna hand me the phone before she leaves town or get to the point?” A man’s voice comes from off screen.
When he comes into view, I close my eyes and shake my head.
“Mila, we can still see you, girl.” Jase Steel laughs.
“I’m aware.”
He chuckles. “Right now, are you feeling more like smashing the phone or just hanging up?”
I open my eyes and look at them all. “I deserve this, so let me have it.”
“It’s not at all like that, kiddo.” Jase laughs. “I’m just happy that Miller carries an X chromosome.”
“Jase!” Carly scolds him.
Looking down at her as he stands behind her, she tilts her head back, her eyes narrowed.
He does the chin nod thing and asks, “What’s up, C?” And there is where Max gets the smolder.
Carly tries not to smile as she looks at him. “If Max were gay—”
“We’d be chill with it. But, as you and I have discussed, no one wants their kid to go through the shit that they just get through.” He quirks a brow. “Arguments lead to—”
“Stooop,” Kiki cuts him off. “We’re supposed to make her like us, not run the fuck away.”
“Nice mouth, Katy girl. You kiss your son with that?” he says sternly.
“Oh, please.” She laughs. “Where do you think I get it from?”
Bella pipes in, “Ask her what else she does with that mouth.”
“Enough!” Carly yells out, her tone amused.
“Momma has spoken.” Jase leans down and kisses her cheek. “I’ll leave you girls to talk.” He looks at the screen and winks. “See you this weekend, Miller.”
Bella groans. “Spoiler alert, Mila: we’d love to have you and Saylor come chill this weekend with the fam.”
“Aunt Pam and your sister, Valencia, already accepted, if it’s okay with you.” Carly nods once.
I shift my gaze to Bella, who holds her hands up. “Shit slips around here when they’re all scheming on how to get Max what he wants. You should know he’s Mom’s favorite, so use that to your advantage.”
“He is not.” Carly laughs.
“Totally is,” Kiki agrees. “Max reminds her of Dad.”
Finally finding my voice, I say, “His smile is Carly’s; the vibe is definitely his father’s.”
They all laugh and, somehow, in the most awkward conversation in my life, at my most vulnerable, in front of a screen full of strangers, I smile, too.
“So, now that we’re better acquainted, the invitation … Friday will be just us.”
“Just us is still a lot, as you can see,” Kiki sighs as she sits back. “But it’ll be like dipping your toes in the water before the rest of the crew gets here on Saturday and Sunday.”
“The rest of the crew?”
“You went to school with them all. Except Tris’s husband, Matteo, if he’s feeling up to it, and Brisa’s hubs, Ranger,” Bella explains.
I shake my head. “I’m not sure that—”
Kiki leans forward. “Satan won’t be here. If he shows up, Brand will drown him if I ask.”
“I have plans to bring my roommate home with me. So, I don’t think—”
“She’s already been invited, too,” Carly interrupts.
“She what?” I reply and probably too quickly.
“If you’re all still here when Brand’s brothers show up Sunday night, or Monday before the big picnic, she’ll be more than entertained,” Kiki assures me.
“I’d like to thank you for the invitation, but I kind of want to talk to my aunt.”
“We had a really nice talk,” Carly says sweetly. “We were young and—”
“I know. But …” I stop when the door opens and look up.
Max steps in, all smiles and wet.
“Red out?” he asks, shutting the door behind him then kicking off his sneakers and pulling off a sock.
“What are you doing?” I ask.
“You may think of me as just a dumb surfer, Blue”—he opens the door and tosses his stupid sock as he continues talking, giving me no room whatsoever to interrupt—“but you also know I’m multitalented as fuck. Baseball is another game I know a hell of a lot about, and you’re in luck. Tonight’s what we call a double header.”
“Oh my God, shut up.” I toss his phone, and they all bust up laughing.
“What the hell are you watching?”
“A fucking satire, apparently.”
“Now see what you’ve done, Katy girl; you’ve already corrupted poor Mila.”
Max stops dead in his tracks, board shorts down to his knees. “Is that my fucking father?”
I fly off the bed and grab my phone as I head to the door. “You all have fun. I’m calling home.”
“Blue, come on; don’t be like that.”
“It’s a lot, Max. A. Lot.”
Hand on the door, I hear a muffled Carly yell, “Wait, Mila, please!”